An oldie, but a goody
In article <rone.9j2jd0$89...@ennui.org>, "cave deum" <^#...@ennui.org>
wrote:
> i'm kidding. crack will be passé in 3001.
[Interior of Arco-Habitat 39B, Ganymede Altruity. Several hundred
silver-jumpsuit-clad ascetics line the interior of a cuboctahedron-
shaped chamber in shining white. Silver wires are connected to
each one at the base of the skull.]
ASCETIC 1138 I rejoice in my transhumanity!
ASCETIC 124C41+ I rejoice in your rejoicing!
ASCETIC 1138 I rejoice in your rejoicing at my rejoicing!
[SFX: Ding]
[A 900-FOOT STEVE JOBS materializes in the center of the chamber.]
STEVE JOBS GET A MAC!
ASCETIC 124C41+ I rejoice in your condescension!
ASCETIC 1138 Everything is perfect now!
[A BLONDE IN RED SHORTS bursts into the chamber directly
opposite our two ASCETICS and tosses a hammer at 900-FOOT
STEVE JOBS. The hammer hits STEVE JOBS in the middle of
the forehead, causing him to double over and exposing...]
ASCETIC 124C41+ CRACK!
ASCETIC 1138 CRACK!
ASCETIC 124C41+ I am revolted and horrified. I reject
transcendence and all associated states of
metahuman superconsciousness!
ASCETIC 1138 And where's our 2GHz Son of Pismo with stamped
enameled metal enclosures? I ask you!
ASCETIC 124C41+ BURN BABY BURN!
[The inhabitants of Arco-Habitat 39B break through the outer
shell and are blown out onto the airless, frigid surface of
Ganymede, surveyed only by the pitiless cyclopean eyeball of
the planet Jupiter. But then TOYNBEE RESURRECTS THE DEAD.]
--
Matt McIrvin