* Posts by Neily-boy

34 posts • joined 27 Jul 2011

The hammer falls: Feds propose drastic controls on Apple's iTunes Store


Forgive me for not applauding this apparent blow for justice......

........but have a look at who the DOJ are protecting with this ruling? Notice a theme running through the companies named? All fellow US companies? I wonder if the same ruthless justice would be brought to bear if, for example, there were ever anti competetive practices againt a non US company? Let's say, for the sake of argument, Samsung.

MYSTERY Nokia Lumia with gazillion-pixel camera 'spotted'


The pixel race is still being run?

This nonsense ended about five years ago for the camera manufacturers, when the camera buying public (with a big nudge from Panasonic) realised that more pixels did not equate to a better image. Fortunately enough for Nokia, Samsung, Apple et al, the phone buying public are still gullible enough to swallow the old phalluses.....I mean fallacies hook, line and gonads.

My biggest gripe is that the tech press, who are paid to understand these matters, willingly assist in perpetuating these falsehoods and are therefore actively participating in the rip-off. To what end?

Google stokes hype machine over Project Glass robospecs


Patent infrigement alert!

Hold on a minute, weren't augmented reality glasses invented by Karl Pilkington?


Archaeologists uncover 'Unicorn's lair'

Big Brother

Be warned! Remember what happened to Hans Brix.

Simon Sharwood will be sneering on the other side of his disembodied face when he gets dropped into the Shark Tank for writing this strongly worded report.

LAST EVER British typewriter manufactured in Wales


Re: Innovation

........And just in case you're thinking about beating them to it, they've also patented the rectangular output medium for these qwerty printers, so forget it!



A printer with its own qwerty keyboard and real time output?What an amazing idea! I think you'll find that Apple patented that particular innovation though.

Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Haggis pakora v huevos rancheros


The single greatest post drink food of all time.......

..........Is undoubtedly a Mixed Kebab Calzone from Errol's Kebabs in Peterhead.

A skewer of lamb, skewer of chicken, donner meat, sweetcorn, mushrooms, garlic sauce and chilli sauce wrapped in a folded pizza with a little cheese and tomato smeared on top. All the meat juices are retained within the calzone and it is absolutely lush. Half for when you stagger in at whatever time, and half to be eaten cold the next day as a hangover cure. It's only drawback is the sheer weight of the box. You really need to take it home in a taxi - fortunately, there is a taxi office next door to Errol's

Now that is a true culinary masterpiece!


Hey fact fans....

In Scotland, deep frying after you've been out drinking is known as. "Partick Roulette".

iPhone doc will detect cancer, diabetes - boffins


I'm confused......

Am I reading Viz or the Register?

Sensationalist headline which is quickly dispelled by the main article. Well done though - that was pretty amazing how you managed to shoe-horn the word "iphone" in at all.

I had been wondering why I don't visit this site as much these days, but I think this pretty much explains why - You've turned into ZDNet.

Facebook 'contributes' €15.3bn to EU economy... bitch


in other news......

Paternity claim shocker as Mark Zuckerberg says his father is Bruce Lee.

Iranian gov mouthpiece Press TV finally gets taken off the air in the UK


Clearly the most mental "news" channel is NHK World. It somehow manages to fill 365 days of the year with absolutely nothing, but in stunning high definition. For those of you who have never seen it, I challenge you to watch for just five minutes without shouting "What the f*ck is this sh*t?" at the screen.

Iraq demands return of Saddam Hussein's arse


I couldn't swear to it........

........but I'm sure a colleague of mine accidentally came across Saddam Husseins arse the other week.

2011: annus horribilis for Microsoft and RIM


Boo Hoo.......

Both Rim and Microsoft must be absolutely distraught at making billions of dollars in this annus horriblis.? I suspect someone is talking out of their anus horriblis?

Need for Speed: The Run


Need for Speed may not be the best racing franchise these days......

..........In fact it's very difficult for any racer to escape the "samey" tag, but I've got a lot to thank NFSU2 for - The soundtrack was so freaking fantastic that I still listen to it, to this very day. Certainly the best game sountrack I have heard. Not only that, but even though I don't have this latest game it is already responsible for introducing me to the best individual track of 2011 - The Black Keys, Lonely Boy. If you've not heard it, get yorself on Youtube right now and watch the official video, which also happens to be the best music video of 2011. If you have any suggestions for sountracks that may better NFSU2, I'd be genuinely interested. If it's better than that, I'm buying it.

So I say thank you for the music........Noooo! What an arse, I've just referenced an Abba song.

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword



to summarise - We have learned that the brand of consol you play on, is an expression of how grown up you are, and the type of game you play on it, is an expression of your manliness?

None of these things had even occurred to me. Every day's a school day!



I'm 46, so the need to be considered "grown up" is not something I've contemplated for a couple of decades. The use of the phrase "grown up console" intimates that the poster has yet to get by that phase of their life.


Not that I'm slagging it.......

I'm sure it's an excellent game, but Skyrim and Skyward Sword have nothing like similar gameplay. Skyrim appears to be an adapted first person shooter and the gameplay clips on line show that the characters are in HD and elements of the foreground also, but the background worlds are in blurryvision. Did you think the proliferation of fog was for the atmosphere?


Consider this........

...........could the lack of high definition graphics that the article's author bemoans, be entirely unconnected to the sprawling vastness of the Zelda games of the last decade or two, and their incredible, compelling gameplay and storyline. I suggest that the two are completely connected and that, unless something drastic happens with the way that game engines are built, there will never be a high definition game of this size, with this quality of gameplay. These games take years to make with the comparatively low resolution graphics and almost always over-run their original estimated release dates by many months (always agood sign in my experience). How long would they take to make in an HD format? Contrast that care and effort with your usual first person shooter, or car racing pish. They look great, I'll give them that, but that's about all they have going for them.

So, gameplay, storyline and vastness vs HD graphics - the choice is yours. You can't have both.

Ten... best Blu-ray movies of 2011


Come on then..........

............it's time to put up or shut up!

I had the balls to put up alternative recommendations for Blurays that were worth watching, instead of solely venturing criticism (I did that too obviously). You've watched "hundreds" of films this year and from your moniker, you obviously fancy yourself as a film buff, so lets hear the experts suggestions for 10 Blurays the public should consider for their viewing pleasure?


What on earth?.

If your intention is to put people off the BluRay format, then I apologise, your choices were correct. I didn't list the best films I'd seen this year, I listed ten films that could be recommended to people as BluRay discs worth watching. For example, "The Town" is certainly only a fairly good film, but the long shots of Boston look amazing in the high definition format and are an example of why this film may not be worth your consideration on DVD, but certainly is on BluRay.


what a god awful selection of films

I know that the image quality is what you are trying to convey with these choices, but if they are pure pish on every other front, they are not choices you could recommend to anyone.

I don't know what year they were released but I watched all the following BluRays this year and as well as looking cinematographicaly ( is that a real word?) beautiful, they have a story and or acting performances that makes them worth watching:-

How to Train Your Dragon

La Haine

I Saw the Devil

The Town

The Fighter






Others that are older releases that are a "must see" for BluRay are


Memories of Murder

City of God

Pans Labyrinth

The lives of others


The White Ribbon

The Chaser

The Good, the Bad, the Weird

Slumdog Millionaire

The Great Smartphone OS Shoot-out


Bubble still intact.

Not that I posess an HTC Hero, but it is my understanding that you have to press a specific button to access the universal search menu? This is not the same as just typing a name or word straight on your homescreen. Like I say, no other buttons, no other menus, no scrolling, no nothing. Just type.

Have a shufty on Youtube if you don't understand.

I'm not claiming that RIM invented universal search, what I'm saying is that their BB7 version of it will appear on every other phone's UI very soon. It's certainly not something that you could patent. Well, I say that, but you probably could in the US if your company name rhymed with dapple.


Making a call.......

.........On Blackberry 7 is a complete piece of piss. If you want to call your mate Dave, you just sart typing the word Dave straight onto the main menu. No finding a contacts menu first, nothing, just tpe. You'll get as far as typing DA and your phone will have offered you his contact. That universal search is mentally good. Hard to explain unless you've used it. I can only conclude that the reviewer hadn't sussed it out.

Not only will it offer you contacts with the word Dave on it, it will offer you e-mails that the word Dave appears in, call history, google, youtube, and anything on your phone. It is the coolest unadvertised feature on BB7.

If you don't have a Blackberry don't worry everyone will have copied it in a few months time.

Google's Moto move spells iPhone doom



That's the one truth that no one is ever supposed to repeat on technology websites!

It's not Android. It's not iOS. Don't mention it - You'll look like a dork!

You know how everyone wants to be in with the cool kids at school, and if anyone infers that the in-crowd are anything less than amazing, they are shunned and ridiculed?

Once you've left school, you soon realise that those same "cool" kids were actually arseh*les and the not so cool ones, in retrospect, turned out to be the people you most admired. Yes, that's right, the ones that were capable of free thought, couldn't give a f*ck what the latest trainers were that everyone was wearing, and ended up getting the good jobs and tidy, funny, wives/husbands/partners.

What I'm saying is let the cool kids go on about how amazing their fancy, High-Top Nike Air Jordans are and you just carry on wearing your bog standard, comfortable Adidas Sambas. Let history be the judge of which was cooler.

BBC testing fix for iPlayer on iPad ... 6 months later


This one's for the haters - Go on, take your best shot!

Sounds like you should have all bought a playbook instead? iplayer is superb on that thing.

When Laziridid asked why you would want an app, when the full web version of a program can be accessed, it looks like the howls of derision were somewhat misplaced. He was correct wasn't he?

Cue the haters.........

Oooh, I love winding these people up!

Travelodge blames 'vindictive individual' for email database breach


Never mind apologising for this security lapse.......

how about apologising for my recent stay at your Brentwood East Hornden pseudo hotel? Where it was my extreme misfortune to come across the most alarming new concept in UK "culture"- THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX TOURISM. (No, I'm not bullshitting, it exists, deal with it.)

Parties of already arseholed young women, dressed in what can only be described as "Transvestite Chic" miniskirts (1/2" below minge base), hair and make-up, complete with the latest over-powering Katie Price fragrance, screeched and clumped their way through the corridors on their way out and also on their way back from a nearby nightspot that appears in chavtastic "The Only Way is Essex". They explained that they were there in the hope that they would appear in an episode, or meet some of the "stars" of, the mocumentary itself.

The bizarre, unintentional talking tunnels that run from your bathrooms on the ground floor to the bathrooms on the first floor, provided such perfect acoustics that you could almost be in the shitter with them, as they vomited, cried, pissed, swore and shat away the small hours. Now, if you could somehow tap into the business of the type of perverts that get off on this sort of thing, you could charge premium babestation type chat line rates on top of the room rates and make an absolute killing. Hey, if this idea works out for you, I want a cut of the profits!

LinkedIn smashes through dire economy with HUGE sales jump


I have no idea......

(No, not in general - specifically), why Linkedin has been such a success? It is undoubtedly the most annoying of all the social networks. I am constantly pestered by total losers, asking me to join them in loserville. Being associated with them would be a real badge of dishonour. Apparently, once you join, you are stalked even more.

I really don't want to be associated in any way with the type of desperate, greasy- pole climbers, who need an artificial business network to make contacts to further their career. Make your own fudging contacts, you're not having access to mine you lazy b*st*rds!

I couldn't swear to it, but I'm sure I was first invited about 10 years ago (maybe it just feels like that), but the whole thing disappeared into obscurity until a couple of years ago, when it made a comeback. Why? It's excrement!

It's official: IE users are dumb as a bag of hammers


Oh come on!

These "research" papers are all the same. People are paid money to state the ****ing obvious.

Poor people are less likely to go to University.

Rich people eat more fruit.

People who don't have the wherewithal or curiosity to try a different browser to the one that was pre-installed in their machine, are less intelligent than those that do.

If you are an organisation that is too thick to know these things already, save yourself a lot of time and money and ask someone with a modecum of common sense. Sorted!



As with all these surveys, it's a complete load of old bollocks.

IQ tests - also a load of old bollocks. You practise a few of these tests and you're IQ goes up massively compared to before you'd ever seen one. How can your IQ go up within hours? Like I say, bollocks!

Internet browsers - barely any difference between them. How different could they possibly be? They all copy each others "innovations" within months and the swiftness of one browser over another is totally lost in your Internet Provider's bandwidth choking antics - Damn you BT!

HP's fondle-slab dilemma: What to do when you're No 2


Hold on, don't give up just yet.

Apparently, the ipad 3 will have a revolutionary new, hinged, fold-out keyboard and the navigational system will be on one tiny area just below the keys, thus negating the need to even touch the screen. This type of innovation is going to change portable computing for ever!


Now it's funny you should mention Apple and Cars.....

I have a theory on that front........

It is my contention that if you are the type of person who is naturally predisposed to owning a BMW (or Mini - same thing) and in particular, the automatic transmission versions of those cars, you are also naturally predisposed to owning all things Apple.

There are several reasons, the main ones being:-

The whole "more money than sense" thing. All right, I'm not wanting to bring the wrath of the cult on my head, but there is more than a hint of this with Beamers and Apple products

The wanabee thing. In particular this seems to be far more prevalent in women of most ages and young men, who are buying (or having bought for them) little BMWs, Audis and Minis in alarming, debt deepening quantities, and obviously have to have the iphone to go with them.

And finally, the bigee - the lack of need for control. This is mainly a man thing. I can not abide automatic transmission, it never feels like you are in complete control of the car, but many people are perfectly at ease with relinquishing control in favour of ease of use. Can anyone see where this is going in relation to computing? I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I am saying that I am seeing an ever greater connection between these brands, their customers and their philosophies towards these products.


UK Cops 'duped' into arresting wrong LulzSec suspect



Bad news! I'm afraid your Grandfather was wrong! Orkadians and Shetland Islanders are both genetically and legally Scots. There is a misguided belief that the Northern Islanders are descended from the Vikings - they are not. The vast majority are and always have been Celts/Picts in their genetic make up. Don't worry, you're not alone - The English, who believe themselves to be genetically Anglo Saxon, are also wrong. They too are predominantly Celtic. Invaders came and went, but as victors, left a massive cultural identity stamp on the areas they conquered. The original inhabitants were never driven out and hence the genetic make remained remarkably intact.

Great news! No one needs to feel superior or inferior anymore - we're all the same.

Have a read of "Blood of the isles", you'll be amazed.

Beeb rolls out global paid iPlayer app in €urope


True, but......

The BBC is the just about the only reason that internet news, and internet TV in this country is predominantly free. Remove the BBC and there really would be nothing standing in Murdoch's way from his dream of subscription utopia.

Digital singles all the rage in Europe


Am I missing something?

Why don't record labels sell directly to the public via their own websites?

Surely the costs would be minimised almost as far as they could possibly go, thereby allowing further reductions to the sell price and maximisation of sales?


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