* Posts by Mr_Bungle

65 posts • joined 26 Jul 2011


Woman rescues red pepper Donald Trump from vegetarian chilli


Re: You know what's tragic.


1. This is a bootnotes article, always irreverent humour, often not involving tech. If you don't like the mix of humour and news on the Reg, why come here. You must of realised by now, this what they do.

2. Holding up the Daily Mail as a comparison, makes YOU look like a cock.

Windows Server 2016: Leg up or lock in?


Re: Running a Windows Server?

@hoola, I agree. The wish fulfillment of a few posters that have installed Linux on a Laptop is laughable.

I was a contractor at one point working back-fill, the clients were mostly large enterprises. Every single one of them (30+) ran a windows server infrastructure, AD, Exchange, MS SQL, .net applications, new and old web app running on IIS. Most used Linux and Apache for websites, and not much else.

I honestly have no interest in the Windows/Linux debate, I use both. But the claims that MS server is going down the pan and everyone is living in a Open Source Server Utopia is straight up deluded, tedious fanboy ravings from people who clearly haven't worked in the enterprise space.

Continuous Lifecycle: Conference full, few seats left in workshops



French thrash Brits, Germans and Portuguese in IT innovation


New and Improved! Faster, Stronger, Better! Whatever.

Yet another DevOps article. Jaw cracking yawn. Faced with a void of disinterest each and every one.

My utter cynicism indicates that this tiresome buzzword is nothing more than a marketing term for tempting management clowns into wasting time and money.

Give it a rest eh?

The Day Netflix Blocked My VPN is the world's new most-hated show


My Media Hint account had a pop up message today, informing me they don't expect any issues arising from this announcement, and the geo unblocking will continue on unabated. Guess we'll see, but they seem confident.

This service has been well worth the couple of quid it costs a month.

Microsoft to Windows 10 consumers: You'll get updates LIKE IT or NOT


1. Download and Install updates is already the default, 99% of the public won't have changed this. They won't notice a difference, or care.

2. Having a unpatched machine will cause just as many issues as the occasional bad patch will cause.

3. Anyone reading this forum will no doubt find a way to bypass this feature easily.

4. The shrieking hysterics of this non issue is baffling. Really? This is a reason for not upgrading? This?

Give it fucking rest already.

Get another loan, fanbois, the new MacBook Pro and iMac are here


Re: yawn

".as opposed to predictable sheep like yourself, who peddle their unfounded prejudices without a moment's hesitation for rational thought. Well done, anonymous bottom feeder."

The fact that you refuse admit any failing on Apple's part, ever, just makes you a blinkered shill. You probably have shares.

Don't worry though, I'm sure the deluded clowns that buy these products will lap them up.

Apple swears that NO FANBOI will queue for its new gumble

Thumb Up

Things more pointless than the iwatch

I've racked my brain to think of something more pointless than Apple's latest overpriced laughable folly. All I could come up with, are the 'inventions' of the 'USB pet rock', and 'diet water'.

Doh! iTunes store goes down AFTER Apple Watch launch


@ The Crow From Below

Conversely, I would like to see a great deal more passive aggressive snide aimed at Apple, and also at the pitiful clowns that purchase any old crap that they produce.

The Reg has never been balanced and fair, and has always been about mocking hubris. No idea what fairy land you thought you had been visiting.

$533 MEEELLION – the cost of Apple’s iTunes patent infringement


Re: Apple said it intended to appeal and called for patent reform

Oh no, my spelling corrected by a pedant.

Blow me.


Apple said it intended to appeal and called for patent reform

Is 'ironic' even listed in American dictionary's?

When they appeal, lets hope they get smashed for another half billion!

Apple Watch 'didn't work on HAIRY FANBOIS, was stripped of sensor tech'


Re: People will still buy them

"If it's going to have the same functionality as a Pebble". It will, as in literally. One of those hard round objects you find on a beach.

Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody


The willful child - set phasers to ignore.

Nokia Lumia 735: Ignore the selfie hype, it's a grown-up phone


Re: Enterprise? Not yet...

Can you believe it, the great David Gale (?) warned Microsoft in writing 4 years and they chose to ignore this prophet.

1. You can sync SMS so the messages are included in your exchange mailbox, thus giving you a convenient SMS archive. People hate this turned on however.

2. Available as a 3rd party application only as yet.

3. Of course you can search your Exchange Mailbox, not sure how you missed this.

I really hope you don't test things for a living!

Apple's SNEAKY plan: COPY ANDROID. Hello iPhone 6, Watch


I barely can be bothered to mock the tripe they have released this time. However -

Who ever coined the name 'digital crown' for a fucking dial, is a terrible c**t, and should be launched into the sun to ensure their death.

Apple poaches Nokia photo guru Ari Partinen from Microsoft


New definition of irony

Video footage of Ari's plane developing engine trouble and the resulting fireball crashing into Apple HQ. The carnage captured perfectly on a onlookers Lumia.

Mozilla axes HATED Firefox-ad-tab plan ... but will try again


Re: Obviously, it's time...

I've used the mozilla/google homepage for a decade, Mozilla get a cut from that. I certainly don't begrudge it.

Just bored of change for changes sake. Seeing the last 10 pages I visited when opening a new tab is not at all useful, i have to squint to even make out what most of them are.

To this day i still type in well used url's, letting autocomplete or history take care of typos. No doubt Google or some other bunch (of c**ts) will find a reason to remove ALL unseemly text from the browsers.


Here's an idea!

How about a new tab opens your home page, a search engine for most of us.

Oh wait, that's what used to happen.

Nintendo says sorry, but there will be NO gay marriage in Tomodachi Life ... EVER


Re: "such a significant development change"?

"Otherwise maybe they should also have say polygamy, scat, bondage, and bestiality preferences?"

I'd deffo play that version. And make it part of the school curriculum just to annoy sanctimonious Mary Whitehouse types like you.

You and Nintendo can suck my cock. We'll motion capture it and release a game.

Apple patent pokes at holographic iPhone screen


Apple 'engineers' patent more fairy-tale drek.

Standard Apple Patent -

There is this thing, in conjunction with a doo-dad, which might make it possible to do anything anyone actually invents in the future.

HP: Autonomy overstated 2010 profits, cuts them by 81 PER CENT


Autonomy reported profits of £105.7m for fiscal year 2010, The real profit was just £19.6m

So those dolts at HP thought that a yearly profit of £105.7m was worth purchasing Autonomy for $10.24bn?

Doesn't matter if Autonomy actually made £19.6m or a tenner, there isn't a word to describe the overpayment of the purchase. Look at them, scrabbling to shift the blame. Pathetic. How many HP workers ended up getting shitcanned for this idiocy?

Management make a galactic size catastrofuck, lose $10bn. Useless CEO is replaced by useless CEO who orders massive layoffs.

Honestly, what a bunch of fucks.

It's official: The iPhone 5S bling-mobe IS chavvy. OR, Burberry isn't


Pass the sick bag again

“This collaboration celebrates our relationship and shared foundation in design and craftsmanship. We have a mutual passion for creating beautiful products and unlocking emotive experiences through technology, which has made it intensely exciting to explore the capabilities of iPhone 5s,” gushed Christopher Bailey, Burberry chief creative officer.

I'm not a religious man. However, I'll be asking god to drop a piano out of the sky directly on this pompous cretins head.

From his statement you would have thought Burberry and Apple were responsible for the Taj Mahal and the Pyramids, instead of some overpriced rags and a naff gadget.

Samsung stakes claim to smartwatch market with Galaxy Gear

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'Nearly 1,350' HP Enterprise Services staffers strike over redundancies – union


Re: HP is the reason the Public Sector fear Privatisation

Despite the evidence you continue your anti PS tirade. Your 'extensive expirience'? Consultant?

Don't make me laugh, as you seemingly no nothing about working in a Gov IT deparment, i suspect you are nothing more than a Salesman.

Begging for contracts, desperate to flog the latest shiny tech. And then fucking everything up like the majority of projects outsourced to private companies.


Re: HP is the reason the Public Sector fear Privatisation

Your further anonymous posting confirms how clueless you are. You think being an IT worker in the private sector automatically gifts you a dream job at 100k a year? Stupid and naive.

PS/Civil workers being paid less is a myth, on average they are paid more. Add to this shorter working hours, better holidays, flexitime, TOIL and a pension.

The drawbacks? Little or no overtime and you are never going to be a millionaire.

Read this, it might help you to stop looking so stupid next time you decide to open your ignorant fucking mouth.


I worked in the private sector for many years, lining some fat fucks pocket. Bored of the greed, I accepted a PS role, got a big pay bump, and have my life back. And I can never be shit-canned like those blameless HP workers.


Re: HP is the reason the Public Sector fear Privatisation

If you don't like having a public service - NHS, Police, clean water and sewage desposal, then by all means emigrate to a failed state like Somalia. Enjoy your stay there you massive, massive twat.

I salute Lady THATCHER - Shoreditch's SILICON GODMOTHER


Re: Pure Crap

^ Irony bypass.

Apple confirms 128GB iPad. A hundred bucks for an extra 64GB


Re: I thought you would be


It seems you are one of those people who's job consists of going to meetings, giving presentations, and inputting data for reports nobody will ever read.

We have many people at my workplace that complete these dubious tasks. We have no idea what their purpose is or why they are paid comparably to skilled engineers.

Productive work is done on a desktop/laptop, no amount of prancing around with a tablet will change that.

Titsup Windows Phone 8 orders user to cram 'boot disc' in mobe


Re: True innovation

You don't think the guy just took a photo of a desktop PC bootscreen error, then displayed it fullscreen on the phone?

Would be a fine joke to play.

Zynga CFO cuts out the middleman and moves to Facebook


"We are positioning ourselves for long-term growth and I’m confident that we have the breadth and depth of management talent to deliver on our mission of connecting the world through games," he said.

No mention of the people who actually do the work then. Management Talent = oxymoron.

35 US states petition for secession – on White House website


Re: White v Hispanic and Black

Would these people be demanding secession if Mitt Romeny had won? No of course not, their God, Guns, Cross Burning, Tea-Bagging fruit loop agenda would of been followed.

Obama won, grow up and get over it.

Nokia Lumia 920 Windows Phone 8 handset review

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Apple files 'Shake to Print' iOS patent application


Re: Game Over

I never made the connection, but everytime I shake my 'gentleman' after urinating, the nearest printer to the bathroom prints out a test page.

I assume I owe Apple royalties, otherwise they will convince a Judge to take my penis off the market.

Apple iPhone 5 review


Re: Lot of hipstery in this thread so far

*sniff* "I don't need an iPhone or anything else to know that I'm better than you." *sob*

Posting a comment intending to annoy other readers, then acting like a child when you are corrected. Like I give a fuck if it's your first smartphone.


Re: Lot of hipstery in this thread so far

@Aaron Em

More than anything else, this attitude is why many of us can't stand Apple. The delusion that owning Apple hardware make you a better person.



Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

Is the reviewer perhaps the hidden love child of Steve Jobs and Tim Cook. Spawned in the Apple Labs. Home schooled using only SIRI and Apple products, no sense or knowledge of any other technology. The iClone LIVES!

The worst review I've ever read -

1. Grovelling indroduction

2. Foaming at the gash about the appearance.

3. Ignoring massive flaws.

4. End.

That had no place on this site, it was a essentially a review about what a phone case looked like. Do your readers a favour Reg, execute the simpering idiot who wrote the review, then delete any reference to him from your archives.

Fans rap Apple's 'crap' Map app


Re: But Surely

You surely do have more mapping options. It's just the default iphone map app, that most Apple uses will use is the crap new one.

Most Apple uses have been brainwashed to accept what they are given, they wouldn't have a clue how to use a different system. "I don't want to know how it works, I don't want to mess around, my iPhone just works!" squeals the Apple user.

So thanks to this philosophy, Apple now have a userbase that is mostly incompetent and unwilling to learn anything about the devices they use. Unable to find their arses with both hands, they will wave their $600 mistake at anyone with half a brain shouting "MAPS BROKEN!"

Stop trying to spin these failures Frank, it make you look like a moron.

Apple 'hasn't really run out of iPhone 5s AT ALL'


Re: See also

Any delays were due to Apple trying to finalise patents on the following -

1. Moving objects from one part of the world to another.

2. The process of creating seemingly random connectors for devices (this involves rolling 2 dice, snake eyes gets your new iPhone a parallel port).

3. Air.

Sadly, only one was granted -

Concocting a tsunami of bullshit that convinces the idrones to buy the same tired product for the 5th year running.

iPhone 5: skinny li'l fella with better display, camera, software


Notice you're not trying to defend it though. Not even the most blinkered, deluded and brainwashed of Apple apologists can talk up this overpriced, under-featured garbage.


Re: That's all?

"and you know the performance of this phone's CPU how?"

The CPU performance is perhaps your only stab at making this aged and bland product relevant.

All the hype, the endless wittering of Apple users, months upon months of it. And the result of all of this is?

You get one extra line of icons.

Taking Dell to court

Thumb Up

Shameless, self promoting recruitment drone buys stupidly priced laptop that fails.

Dell, not recognizing this 'giant' of the industry, treats him like every other user.

Sense of entitlement shattered. World + Dog applauds.

Hold the chips: Apple axes Samsung RAM order for iPhone 5


Re: Ahem


Well after sanctimoniously lecturing me with your comical 'facts' you now look like a giant bellend. Well done.

I'm also indifferent to android btw


Re: Ahem

"A4 and A5 are Apple-designed ARM derivatives"

Derivatives is the key word. You must remember Apple engineer fuck-all themselves. They simply take something already invented, put it in a glass case and then claim everyone else is copying them.

Listen up, Nokia: Get Lumia show-offs in pubs or it's game over


Re: But the real stand-outs are two new imaging features.

"...it's called turning the lights on to take a photo"

And if you're outside at night? Make a habit of rotating the Earth to match your lighting requirements do you?

South Korea probes 'mobe patent bully-boy' Samsung


Re: @ AC 1433h - All seems rather unfair......

"Enjoy a downvote for poor logic."

Ooooh, a downvote from an Apple nerd. That will keep you awake at night.

Bruce Willis didn't Buy Hard: His girls can't inherit his iTunes

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Re: Apple Schmapple

Rambling Apple nerd. Why use just one post when you can make 3!

Assange granted asylum by Ecuador after US refused to rule out charges




American Soldier? So what. Citizens of your county might get all misty eyed and start weeping when 'our boys in the military' are mentioned, not so much over here.

Arming countries in turmoil then blowing the shit out of them a decade later doesn't speak to me of any clear forethought or wisdom.

Not saying those regimes didn't need to go, but take a look at your own now and again. Assange is an asshole granted, but look how easily he's made your paymasters look impotent. I fear that's the reason they want him.

Hello nasty, don't use my music: Deceased Beastie Boy to admen


Re: Very strange behaviour indeed

Give it up, you've been found out. Your credibility is zero.

Huawei Ascend P1 Android review


Re: The screen

"Evidently, it’s a phone designed to steal market share from HTC"

Using this logic, Huawei stand to reap in profits of £19.20 next year! That's assuming they steal 50% or so.

Apple, Samsung whip out mobe sales in patent trial showdown



I would be delighted if somehow I was mis-sold an iPhone and given a Galaxy instead. Lets face it, its a far better piece of equipment.



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