Posts by WillbeIT

Apple promises to spend $500B, hire 20K over 4 years to swerve Trump import tariffs

The headline

Title: The words are so benign, the impact so profound. What does half a trillion actually mean?

Tesla trounces shareholders who alleged Autopilot was all share-pumping lies

And how's the stock gone since then?

The incumbent President of the United States of America ran now-banned Facebook ads loaded with Nazi references

What is scariest..

... is that I'm so numb to all this shit now.

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

There can be only one

The Redmond blue screen of death flasher

Rocket Lab ends year by cutting ribbon on first launchpad in the US

el reg to name mission

We never got there with LOHAN however, surely el reg could petition Rocket Lab for the rights for a reader named mission!

Aw, bad day at your air-conditioned, somewhat clean desk? Try shifting a 40-tonne fatberg

Just so happy to see the el reg standards converter kicked back into life!! I've referenced it forever, often to much perplexed looks... Cheers

NASA extends trial of steerable robo-stunt kite parachute

Forget all this shit: Where the fuck is LOHAN

Goldman Sachs tips $38m into Nasuni's hat

Being the predatory self serving capitalist Co(#$fa(e$ they are, there is no better sign to existing investors to get the f out of a start up than when Gold Sacks get involved. They only ever stalk positions of elevated shareholder rights. All existing shareholders...check the deal!!! and (whispering voice) "get out"

Microsoft boasted it had rebuilt Skype 'from the ground up'. Instead, it should have buried it

eh

Wait...you can afford Slack?

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Spotify serving malware, no escape from reality

BEST. ARTICLE. TITLE. EVER.

That's all.

Coders crack Oculus DRM in 24 hours, open door to mass piracy

Re: Why would they?

You mean there is a reason for VR other than Pr0n?

CEO! Mayer! to! get! $55m!

Pay her in Bitcoin, then she may figure out what the internet is for..

Russian boffins want to nuke asteroids

Re: Rocket boosters for asteroid deflection

@anon coward

So it's merely 112619.0476 Kilojubs to be delivered by 156908 Norris's and that will achieve the desired outcome of 66.7111% of the velocity of a sheep in a vacuum on that so called treat to humanity.

Bruce Willis can sty in bed mate..he's a pussy anyhow.

cheers

Google says its quantum computer is 100 million times faster than PC

Re: sorry, not a geek but

Thank you.

sorry, not a geek but

Would someone please explain what this article actually means to a lay person. Question: If this works as planned, does this mean that gadgets soon built with this kit will run 100 MIIIILLLLIIIOOONNN times faster? wtf? whats the trade off?

Bacon can kill: Official

"Only one substance, a chemical in yoga pants, has been declared by IARC not to cause cancer."

That right there is possibly the best line ever written. Well done Reg.

Clearly we should all shag more.

TalkTalk: Hackers may have nicked personal, banking info on 4 million Brits

Apathy

It is astounding how numb the general populous is about this continual tide of massive breaches of private info right around the world. W[here]TF is this going to go.

Windows Mobile 10 nears point of no return

Lets face it

Everyone ends up resorting to Hangouts for vidcons anyway because it seems to be the only one that works consistently.been on skype for years and now skype for business (the ap formerly known as Lync and formally formally known as messenger) ... it sucks balls

BlackBerry's tactical capitulation to Google buys time – and possibly a future

Re: I have said it before

Lol yep Typo: I meant NSA put Blackberry out of business:

I have said it before

and Ill say it again, the NSA put Google out of business. They didn't appreciate that pesky privacy thing. So they tanked the stock and killed the product that way, much cleaner.

Indianapolis man paints his ball every day – for FORTY YEARS

Re: 5000lb

Just like to add also that its about 2257 posh spice Bulgarian airbags but only 740 Jordans. Interesting.

Apple iPhones, iPads BRICKED by iOS 9's 'slide-to-upgrade' bug

"Fanbois flustered, furious: faulty firmware fingered"

lol katz

May I add "faulty fruity firmware fingered".

thanks, made my day.

Facebook serves up shaved, pierced, tattooed 'butterfly' as CAPTCHA

Ahh the machines

I once got a Qantas booking reference of 26CUNT . To be fair, the girl on the help line was extremely apologetic however none was really necessary. I have dined out on it for years

NZ used XKEYSCORE to spy on World Trade Org election emails

Please

Can we make the rabbit hole stop..my head is getting sore

LOHAN unleashes 'waiting for the FAA' collector mug

Just checked...

...and it is official. The project is travelling at exactly 0% of the maximum velocity of a sheep in a vacuum

Watch a hot, speeding space alien explode all over Earth's Beaver

Beaver and Jubs

If you insist on estimating the weight of this alien body then at least measure it in something we understand around here. 266 Kg = 53.8095 Jubs

Vulture 2 spaceplane tumbles onto BBC World Service

Watched as instructed

But with a lovely Pale Ale. Nice work Lester!

Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

umm..

To, er, get to , um, the other side perhaps? Just sayin

Mozilla gaffe exposed 76,000 email addresses, 4000 passwords

Apathy

76000 users, 4000 passwords, 2 comments. Priceless.

Kiwi Rocket Lab to build SUPER-CHEAP sat launchers (anyone know 30 rocket scientists?)

True but currently there is no such 'tuc tuc' service available for would be small satellite slingers is there?

Reg Latin scholars scrap over LOHAN's stirring motto

"Ad astra tabernamque":

"Ad astra tabernamque": to the stars and the pub.

Sold

Could a 'Zunewatch' be Microsoft's next hardware foray?

zune

I just wanted to say it. Zzzzuuuunnnnneeeee. That is all.

mine is the one with the crunchpad sticking out the pocket

It's 2014 and you can pwn a PC by opening a .RTF in Word, Outlook

er hemm, January?

January what year?

http://www.verisigninc.com/en_US/cyber-security/security-intelligence/vulnerability-reports/articles/index.xhtml?id=880

BuzzGasm: 9 Incredible Things You Never Knew About PLIERS!

Correction

Point 8: That should read "You are never more than 16.0634 lg (Linguine, boiled at sea level) from a pair of pliers"

Heroic Playmonaut wowed by LOHAN's bulging package

Don't rely on USB

I reckon, el reg, Lester et al, that that dodgy USB connection is the only one that will let you down. At least clamp or rig it so it is guaranteed to stay coupled with LOHAN.

Booze and bacon sarnies: A recipe for immortality?

Whatever happens please do not let the trail of truth run cold elreg. Keep up the good quest for enlightenment.

Naked Aussie gets wedged in washing machine

??

icon: nuff said

I'm Feeling LUCKY OR LAZY™? Chrome gets hands-free voice search

dunno about you lot but im finding the g voice rec stuff is getting very very good. dunno if ill use it on the dt but its frickin good on mobe (are we still allowed to say mobe?)

now i can email AND drive.. at last !

HP’s ENORMO-SLAB: The Slate 21 MONSTER tablet

pfffft. ... Man U fan eh

IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! Google's secretive Omega tech just like LIVING thing

I can't believe

el reg missed the opportunity to use the image of the stormtrooper just standing out of shot to the left in that data centre

the mind boggles, think of the innuendo and comments if you did!

Microsoft pulls Win 8.1 RT code which upgraded Surface 'slabs into BRICKS

bricked, confused whatever. this is hell

i got 8.1 yesterday and my previously awesome samsung fondle slab is borked now. cpu wont go uner 65 percent. touch interface freezes for extended periods and cant use my dock and multi screens any more. can someone point me to instruction for undoing the update pleeeeeease...im dying here

Who's a Siri boy, then? Apple hoards your voices for TWO years

Its for training

It is for training the mechanical turk that is Siri. They need the transcription to train the pool of operators that listen to the messages and transcribe them.

Its true. Check their patents.

W

New Zealand issues Hobbit money

Re: They've done this before.

but it did...not...pass!

ye gads

For crying out loud reg. Please don't waste a brass razoo on that pisswater. (queue beer troll hits). Better you order a fine IPA from one of the hundred or so craft breweries. Big feet welcome. No tui.

NZ spooks acted unlawfully in Megaupload wiretap

Re: Oh dear...

low rent? have you seen the size of the house he rents?

Behold: First look at Office 2013, with screenshots

meh

thats all

CBOSS puts out operator bait: Dinner date with 'booth babe'

memories

The CBOSS stand is the only thing I actually remember from 3GSM a few year back.. funny, must be just me...oh that's right there was some crap about 'looking beyond 3G' also, whatever that meant...

Voyager probe reaches edge of Solar System's 'bubble'

i was born in 72

But its the 8 track 11 billion miles away and still cranking that made me smile

El Reg to unleash rocket-powered spaceplane

What he said

But with a salami powered rocket please.