Posts by Lallabalalla

'Silent' staff stood by as £100m BBC IT project tanked – DG

Shifting the blame to the workers, rather than the management, for the project's failings is odd

No it's not, it's entirely obvious and the reason why NOBODY SPOKE UP!

EXPLICIT VID: Man filmed trying to bang brand new 'budget iPhone'

Plastic iPhone?

Yes please. Cheaper, more durable. What's not to like? It lives in a case anyway unless the kids are playing lightsaber with it so I couldn't give a stuff about how it looks, really. Never did.

Re: I could usually understand the sense behind............

Seems pretty straightforward.

The Levi's guy: We're building mass-market phones so we want our shops to be more trendy-for-kids and less up-their-own-arse-for-graphic-designers.

The fitness guy: We really have no idea why we're building an iWatch except maybe slimmers/gymbodies/runners will wear them to track metrics so we'd like to know what real people want to see as we really don't know - we spend all hours in the office not the gym.

Just add creepiness: Google Search gets even more personal

"That's what they want us to think"

No, it isn't. That's you being paranoid delusional. Nobody wants us to think anything, they're just trying to get their job done as best they can. Any attempt to second-, double- or triple-guess what "people will think" is SO doomed to failure that nobody wastes any tmie on it.

Superstar cluster-Zuck as Facebook tries out celeb-only edition

They're only celebs while some idiot pays them attention.

They can all sod off to celebook and stay there forever for all I care.

Leaked photos of iPhone 5C parts portend ugly Google legal battle

Some of you lot...

...remind me of my wife's Russian "Tourist Guide" (minder) back in the early 80s - a joke about something Russian like queueing all day for a carrot was cracked - to which the response was (in Robbie-Coltrane-Russian-Accent) "Hm. Humour. *Not* my favourite".

Also, what's wrong with click-bait? If it's good for El-Reg it's good enough for me! :)

New blinged-up 'iPhone 5S' touted by Jobs FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

New phone

I don't give a monkey's what they do. My phone's 3 years old so it's battered, scratched, slow, unreliable and basically junk now, so I'll get a new 5S.

Wait no it isn't - it's an iPhone4 and pretty much as new. Still perfect! Damn!

20 injured at LG phone giveaway as PR stunt turns into riot

iSheep

YEAH - those stupid Apple-loving idiots putting themselves through ANYTHING to get their hands on... oh, wait.

Hundreds of UK CSC staff face chop, told to train Indian replacements

Oh I'll train those foreign workers real good...

Yes. When we want to say thank you we always say "I shag your mother up the behind"

'First' 3D-printed rifle's barrel splits after single shot

Re: C'mon you guys...

Everybody knows that the apostrophe is the pedantic warning that an 's' is to follow immediately.

#Unless its your friends' apostrophes

Re: Punctuation nazi!

No:

Punctuation marks indicate the structure and organization of written language (as well as intonation and pauses to be observed when reading aloud.)

Grammar is the set of structural rules that governs the composition of clauses, phrases and words in any given natural language.

Downvote that which you don't understand all you like: it doesn't make you right.

Punctuation nazi!

Actually punctuation is not grammar.

Grammar is the set of structural rules that governs the composition of clauses, phrases and words in any given natural language.

Punctuation marks are symbols that indicate the structure and organization of written language (as well as intonation and pauses to be observed when reading aloud.)

So there.

Re: "Contractions should always be avoided in written English."

So, that would be in quotes then.

Zuck on THIS: Mobile users propel Facebook to RECORD earnings

There are adverts on facebook?

Never seen one. Adblock.

Fanbois smash iPhone 5s much sooner than iPhone 3s ... but WHY?

Dead? Drowned!

My wife and I have both dropped various Sony handsets down the toilet and it killed them all. She dropped an HTC Wildfire into a dishwasher but it recovered 2 days later apart from a misty lens cover, which gave nice soft-focus portraits if nothing else.

Since then we have been Very Careful not to drop our phones in the bath, haven't we darling? Though my wife's iPhone5 is regularly launched across the room with no ill effect, and I've dropped my iPhone4 5 or 6 times at least with no damage. Even when it was launched out of its case at high speed by my young 'un who was using it as a lightsabre (on more than one occasion - that app is now BANNED).

Apple KILLER decloaked? Google lovingly unboxes Nexus 7 Android 4.3 slablette

By the end of the year, consumers are going to buy more tablets than PCs

And it's thanks to Apple creating the tablet market, and producing the best hardware and ecosystem.

Is your Apple gadget made of human misery and eco-ruin?

Is your Apple gadget made of human misery and eco-ruin?

An alternative title might be: "Apple starts to take more responsibility for another part of their operation".

Not exactly catchy, and we can all read between the lines.

A worse one might be "We TOLD you, over and over again, that your source of tin was killing hundreds of people and wreaking environmental havoc and you STILL don't care, but continue to take the money and line your golden nests with it".

Poor iPhone sales mean Verizon could owe Apple $14bn

Re: Ahh the quaint old iPhone - that takes me back a few years

When are you going to twig that nobody buys an iPhone "for status" any more because they are WAY too common. This is because they are WAY too popular.

This in turn is because they are WAY better than any other phone IF - and I admit this is a big enough IF to separate the population down the middle - what you want from a phone is a rock-solid warranty (yes yes you have to pay for it), freedom from virus/malware paranoia, access to the largest app store in the world, guaranteed updates to the latest and most secure OS, 100% compatibility with all your other stuff (so long as it's Apple), hassle-free backup and restore.... Yes, you pay for all this. But if you can't afford it go get one of those freetard android monsters.

I could go on but my lunchtime is over and I have to go back to writing software for a load of buggy, fragmented, laggy, slow droid phones. We just got a galaxy 4 - boy, was *that ever a let-down.

Apple surrenders in 'app store' trademark suit against Amazon

god apple are such dicks

i even like their hardware, but - damn!

'The Apprentice' is a load of old codswallop, says biz prof

Re: And it's taken how long to notice this?

No joke. Also, how much can all of you spend throughout the rest of your life when you retire at 35 instead of slogging your guts out for SFA till you drop dead of old age?

Re: This ain't academia.

How many of these "absolute losers" are a) ahead of you up the ladder b) in charge of the company and c) earning real megabucks in salary, perks, "expenses" and options? Because love them or hate them you may want to redifine your idea of what constitutes "a loser",

Re: It's TV: develop their idea, drop failures and identify required corrections

This happens in microcosm every week on every task. It is exactly what it's about. That, and finding out that behaving like an arse gets you nowhere in the end.

Facebook slurped phone numbers says Norton

Re: you want a ROM with pdroid support compiled etc blah blah blah

No - what they, I and a billion other people want is the right to own our data and to only release our data with express permission, not to have it stolen from us for whatever purpose.

Win 8 user? Thought that was a CAPTCHA? R is for ruh roh

I'd just like to say...

MICROSOFT FA oh wait

Microsoft talks up devices, Windows 8.1 at developer shindig

All about money

Yeah, that really sucks. Microsoft would be SO much more successful if they went broke and closed down.

Oh, wait.

Fifty, fired and fretful: Three chaps stare down CAREER MORTALITY

Re: Aged 41 I am worried reading this

What a load of defeatist nonsense I've read here. Write one decent game on iOS and you can retire if you want to.

When to say those three little words: 'I am quitting'

"every time you change jobs there is a risk of making a catastrophic mistake"

Especially when it's the recruiter who has lied to you about the stability of the company, about how much they will in the end offer and about what has happened to previous employees and the teams they were in.

Clearly, those representing the company, trying to get you to join, tell the same lies. It's hard to resist when this is coming at you from both sides.

In all my years in the game, I have found 2, maybe 3, recruiters I trust, 1 that I definitely don't, and all the others I view with extreme skepticism, not to say cynicism!

Partying, beer and C++: How to choose the right Comp-Sci degree for you

Re: If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

I started university at the age of 41, gained a 1st and my first full-time computing job 3 years later (having had a 3 month contract in each summer break) and am currently in my 6th computing job where I have been for the last 8 years.

I agree that starting salaries are quite low compared to the holy grail of £500-an-hour contracting, but I Know employers that won't even look at you until you have 10 years industry experience, and I think that's about right.

After 3+ years you might well think that you know it all by now and can show everyone else how it's done. Trust me - you can't. The more you think you can, the more you can't, on the whole, IMHO.

Even after 13 years' industry programming I can still look back at code I wrote 5 years ago and say "What was I thinking??"

"If you haven’t utterly trashed your system multiple times in your comp-sci degree..."

"... you’re just an arts grad who didn’t get laid"

Haha! And even today, 13 years into what I smilingly call my "career", I still maintain that if you haven't crashed your OS or at least your browser at least once today, you're not really trying.

My "Comp-Sci" degree was actually called "Applied Computing" and was basically computer games and 2D and 3D programming - a subject offered by precisely 2 Uni's at the time - Bradford, 200 miles away and MDX, a 10-minute cycle ride away. So that was a no-brainer. MDX was very much a bums-on-seats affair and I suspect the author of this article wouldn't even consider it to be third-tier, but it served me well in the end.

I learned, among other things, some good basic Java, C++, OO, how to hack example code and even how *not* to. More than one student learned the hard way that if you're going to copy another student's code, don't also copy their distinctive spelling mistakes.

I also learned you could scrape a 2/2 by cut n pasting most of "your work" from Google, and that anybody with even a 2/1 should be regarded with suspicion until proved otherwise.

MySpace zaps millions of teens' tearful rants, causes wave of angst

Re: Content you create but don't own

Yes, but Google have lots of money, and like to pretend to give a fuck now and then.

UK.gov's £530m bumpkin broadband rollout: 'Train crash waiting to happen'

Re: 2 Megabits per second?

Oh hang on - 10 years ago was 2003 wasn't it? I think I skipped a decade somewhere there. Hm. Wouldn't be the first time :)

Re: 2 Megabits per second?

You might be thinking of ISDN. I was on the original 1000-person ADSL trial in North London which ran at about 2Mb uncontested originally, then they tested NAT and it all went pear-shaped, then they rolled it out. This was in 1998/1999. Before that nobody had "broadband", at least not the ADSL kind.

Interwebs taunt Sir Jony over Apple eye candy makeover

Designed by design

Nothing shouts "bad design" more than design that shouts.

Patch Tuesday: And EVERY version of IE needs fixing AGAIN

Re: Reboot required

And now OSX re-opens and repositions all your open windows for you when you restart, which is nice.

At least I don't seem to have to re-install windows itself on a regular basis any more - is why I stopped bothering to "personalize my windows experience" (sic) so long ago; re-instating all those icons, backgrounds, cursors, alerts, favourites etc just became TOO tedious.

Study: US iPhone owners tend to be rich, educated, white

Re: Does this mean

Yes. Yes it does.

FLABBER-JASTED: It's 'jif', NOT '.gif', says man who should know

jer-peg

JPEG is not an acronym, i.e. it's not pretending to be a word, so you can pronounce it any way you see fit.

Re: Sega

Or perhaps you're that much younger and the truth was already out there?

The iWatch is coming! The iWatch is coming!

Re: ours will be 2.5 inch

Haha! And maybe the fact that's it's juddery an dhas invisible buttons that make it "go back" quickly will be an advantage this time.

UK.gov STILL wants to tout pupil data – don't use the word 'product'

Re: Unbelievable

No. No, there isn't.

Stroke my sexy see-through backside, says Jobs from BEYOND THE GRAVE

"Groping around on the back of an iMac"?

Just the once. After that it stays on until you sell it for 75% of cost 6 years later.

Has any employer ever delivered the training it promised?

Not just me, then.

That's heartening, in a disheartening kind of way.

Apple's next OS X said to be targeted at 'power users'

Game Center?

Really? Does anyone ever use that? For anything? It's just another annoying fucktard thing to have to keep cancelling, like the "firewall has blocked some of iTunes" dialog that never goes away no matter how many times you configure the firewall to allow it. I have no idea what these "features" are anyway, I've long ago stopped bothering with whatever the hell it thinks it is enabling.

Launchpad is quite popular with the wife n kids - I quite like it too, it *is easy to find applications especially with the search box - but why not just use the search box that's already there, top right? But I digress.

Messages is another pest - I HAVE my messages, they're HERE, ON MY PHONE where I EXPECTED them to be in the first place. Duh!

OSX's "user interface" is basically like stepping back to the 1980's - Windows 7 beats the pants off it hands down in every department. The core OS is very very good but the UI - yeurgh! And I'm a fanboi!

I love my iMac

But I would HATE to have to work on it - Apple really have no idea when it comes to building an OS that can be run entirely wothout a mouse.

There are dialogs in which you can flip between the buttons using tab, hit enter, and it does the default action (cancel) regardless of which button is highlighted.

Finder is an effing abomination. Ever tried to find the total bytes of a group of 750 files by highlighting them and choosing "properties"?

Drag and drop is hopeless. Right-button D&D? Hah!

It's a great consumer device for the home, has saved me 100's - maybe 1000's - hours in home support, it runs music, movies, web, phone management etc, and Time MAchine has (so far) been a godsend.

But not for work. No way.

Re: forced obsolescence, Apple douchebaggery

"a machine that you can keep up to date?"

I can't be arsed doing all that research for compatible stuff, buying the stuff, fitting and configuring the stuff, getting it all to boot and work together etc.

I'd much rather spend a ton of money upfront, use the computer as-is for as long I want, then one day get a new one. When you figure in what my time is worth and the fact that I'd happily pay to NOT do all that shit and just get on with my life, it works out way cheap.

PEAK iPHONE? Apple mobe growth slumps to ‘lowest in its history’

It's all BS

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-22312336

You can't get an S4 - but where are the troll posts that followed the scarcity of Iphones upon launch?

It's all bollox I tell you.

COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO: NASA rovers scrawl giant willy on Mars

Oh, why stifle the smirk??

There's nothing like a good knob gag.

Paris, because. .... well, really.....

Ready for the car 2.0? Nvidia preps UPGRADABLE car system

Re: Muscle Memory

Gee, you're picky.

So, set things up how you like them and then leave them be. I very much doubt there will be a "randomise" function (unless it's Android's built-in one that seems to run on most phones once every month or so).

As for LED/LCDs: whatever. Picky.

How long will it take Facebook Home to hit 1bn downloads? 76 years

Mixed reviews?

If it's anything like the quality of the iOS app - flakey, prone to crashing, takes ages to update, varies what it shows you from one hour to the next, hides some stuff entirely apparently at random and so on - then "mixed reviews" must mena there was actually a good one in there somewhere.

Hard to believe, I know.

BadNews, fandroids: MILLIONS of Google Play downloads riddled with malware

No no you're all wrong

These apps are GOOD, because they are Android they are "open" and "open" is GOOD. "Not open" is BAD. These are OPEN so it's ALL GOOD.

Google's Page drops the A-bomb: Google Glass runs Android

Android is the new Java

All we need is a small runtime, and, bingo!