* Posts by MooseNC

99 posts • joined 18 Jun 2011


You TWITS! Facebook exec erects billboards shaming texting drivers


And taking pictures of other drivers while going 60+ ISN'T distracting from driving???

Apple vows to add racially diverse EMOJIS after MILEY CYRUS TWITTER outrage


Here ya go.

Found the black guy.

Proof Apple is GOING BACKWARDS: It's trying to patent a Newton-ish touchscreen stylus


Prior God-given art

I have ten pressure-sensitive stylus', they are attached to my palms.

Blighty goes retro with 12-sided pound coin



For some odd reason, I much prefer the UK coins to the US ones. America has yet to make a decent dollar/5 dollar coin.

'Software amplifier' boosts quantum signals



I didn't know Lady Gage moonlighted as a physics student...

MtGox allows users to see a picture of their money, but not have it


I sold a set of pre-nerf Greater Shadow Amuli in Asheron's Call for $400 once. Bitcoin seems to be the same but without the fun.

Samsung wins right to delay UK appeal in Apple dispute



"Lord Justice Kitchin"

Please tell me this judge comes into the room with his hands in the air while he yells out "Look what's cookin', bitches!!!"

This record-smashing robot solves a Rubik's Cube in 3.253 seconds


Well, this is good news.

Now when the Googlenators track me down with the help of the hovering AmazOMG drones, they can rip me apart faster than before.


Thought for a while that I would have to suffer for 5.55 seconds before death by the hands of our soon-to-be metal overlords.

MtGox, that bastion of unregulated e-currency Bitcoin, turns to Texas judge for protection


Can't we just give them all monopoly money and call it even? Don't think the difference (if any) would be realized.

Apple granted patent for two-faced iPhone with wraparound touchscreen


I've patented a medical device that continually repairs human cells. When it's finally created by some university, I will become rich by suing the hell out of them.

USPTO, I love you.

HTML is a sexually transmitted disease, say many Americans


I used to think it was impossible to be this absolutely duh, but when a friend recently told me how his boss asked him how you handed people stuff (just a regular item) and he showed him how, his boss got upset and called him a smartass.

Bitcoin bank Flexcoin pulls plug after cyber-robbers nick $610,000


Bitcoin profiting step-by-step!

1 - Create a BC "bank" (Make sure to use lots of buzzwords on the site!)

2 - Entice people to dump tons of BC in said bank (Hey, those were some good buzzwords.)

3 - Mysterious hackers steal all the BC (Oops! Our bad, but not our responsibility, RTFM)

4 - Profit! (When you cash out the BC that was "stolen")

Seems like a regular bank to me.

US gov claims it spent TOO MUCH on wiretaps – and blames SPRINT


Well, when you are dealing with illegal goods and services, the price is usually higher...

Apple throws sueball at China's patent office over Siri clone


"During that case Apple’s lawyers maintained that although the two products are designed to perform similar tasks they employ different underlying technology. "

Wait, Apple is using a defense that it is usually litigating AGAINST???

Score one for legal irony.

Self-forming liquid metal just like a TERMINATOR emerges from China lab


"Because the liquid metal alloy material is safe for humans..."

They mean until it is hardened and then shoved through said humans sternum, right?

Muslim clerics issue fatwa banning the devout from Mars One 'suicide' mission


So, have they issued a fatwa on Chipotle?

You’re a LIAR and a CHEAT... la-la-la, I can't hear your lawyers


Re: terrible

Wait, if you only read the first paragraph, how do you know it's 90% diatribe?

Liar! Deceit!

Don't worry Dabbsy, we got your back on this one.

Snowden journo boyf grill under anti-terror law was legal, says UK court


I think the term is spouse, not lover.

Unless you also refer to Samantha Cameron as David Cameron's lover, then it's alright.

Apple patents touch-sensitive controls for MacBook


HP TX1000 series.

Who reviews these patents? Helen Keller?

App-maker King hopes to CANDY-CRUSH $500m from IPO


Bejeweled and Bust-a-Move are so awesome, I wish someone would completely rip them off, put a veneer of new graphics on them, tweak the random number generator towards constant failure, and then sucker people into buying microtransactions.

If only there was some company that could do that...

Reports pump fuel into iCar gossip: Apple in 'talks' with Tesla


Re: The loss of efficiency for hydrogen is huge

Yes, putting in outlets is so difficult to do...

Wait, what's this???



Whining and complaining about something that "can't" be done while it is already being done on a large scale is quite asinine.

Apple Mac Pro: It's a death star, not a nappy bin, OK?


Re: Oooo, the shiny!

I just priced it, with everything the same except for twice the memory (system and graphics) and a 240GB ssd instead of 256, the price was $2980. Notice, this was retail, so about 20% marked up from what I could get it from tech data or ma labs.

Apple Tax; Check.

Try actually checking instead of ingesting and regurgitating the electronic excrement that frequently spews from macrumors.

Hear that, Sigourney? Common names 'may not constitute personal data'


Re: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!

I'm always confused by these outlaw articles. Too much jumping around, tangents, and just poor writing.

MtGox fallout bogs down Bitcoin traders as malleability issue goes mainstream


How do you say "All your bitcoins are belong to us" in Chinese?

James Dyson plans ROBOT ARMY to take over the world


And what will happen when these robots decide that the walking, bacteria-laden flesh-bags need to be cleaned up?

How many keys can one keyboard have? Do I hear 200? 300? More?


Check out the "speed test" video on their Kickstarter. The people are working on the same picture, but the guy on the left actually does several more things to it than the guy on the right.

Fake comparison; fake product?

fWHoaR! Researcher crack eternal mystery of what women want in a man


"...more interest in short-term relationships..."

This is a polite way of saying they want to play slap and tickle with the men-folk.

Google patents ROBO-TAXIS to ferry punters into advertiser's shops, restaurants, etc for free



I have a patent for opening vehicle doors with the intent to get in them and be taken to locations that sell electronic items.

I'm seeking $500 billion in damages.

I will not have my innovation stifled!!!

Patent-holding firm's lawsuit against Googorola kicks off



Timecube made more sense than this...

Amazon patents caches for physical goods


Re: How is this an invention?

Sweet! That means I already have two patents, just this morning!!!

Trio allege in court: You sold our ZIP codes, Apple, now hand over $5m!



"...ZIP codes, which are not needed to process transactions..."

A lot of places now require the billing address ZIP as an additional layer of security. Have to enter it every time, at every gas (petrol) station I go to.

Systemax director Carl Fiorentino bribery trial moves to Florida


"This was after it found that he had "fraudulently" banked $400k in compensation from firms that traded with Systemax between 2006 and 2010. The federal agency also alleged that he had stolen $200k worth of company merchandise. He was forced to pay a $65k penalty."

So, he stole/scammed $600k and only had to pay back $65k with absolutely no jail time?

WOW! It pays to be a white-collar criminal!

I wonder how much I could get for all these staplers....

Chuh! 'Grossly inadequate': Time Warner Cable rejects $62bn hostile takeover bid


$83 in cash? Is there supposed to be a million in there, or are they giving them cab fare?

Remember when SimCity ABSOLUTELY HAD to be online? Not any more – fancy that!


This is not Maxis.

This is EA after killing Maxis, cutting it's face off, and finally wearing said face while dancing to "Goodbye Horses"

"Would you play me??? I'd play me.... I'd play me Hard...."

Skype's Twitter account, blog hacked to spread anti-Microsoft messages



"...calling for Skype to stop allowing the NSA to access its back end..."

I'd also be upset if someone was accessing my back end.

Unemployed? Ugly? Ugh, no thanks, says fitties-only job website



Let us all bow our heads and pray...

Please, O Lord of Aesthetically Prodigious people, do not allow those of your chosen to be hired by the Los Alamos National Laboratory or the RCMP. Woe betide us, the Uglies, if that shall ever happen. This to you, O Lord, we pray.

Apple fanbois get one last chance to see spectre of Steve Jobs


Re: Downward share price

What does plugging up lesbians have to do with this? It has something to do with those Norkie unicorns, doesn't it?


Registurd Developer?

Remember, all those fart apps were made by registered developers...

Peak Apple: First 'profit slip' in a decade - and, boy, it's gonna be BIG



"...failing to introduce yet more exciting new technology into the marketplace."

Should read;

"...failing to introduce yet more exciting newly bedazzled technology into the marketplace."

Apple demands Samsung flogged for 'unethical' court doc leak



Phones have changed in the past ten years. This is not a new idea. Technology changes its shape and form because people demand new things, and their taste change. Samsung's phone changing from 2006-2010 is nothing special. If phones didn't change, we'd all be carrying around 15# bags with a corded wireless phone in it.

So...Apple wants Samsung to stop making phones that the public wants because they are what the public wants?

I'm just waiting for an Apple lawyer to stand up in court and say, 'It's always about Samsung! Samsung, Samsung, Samsung!!' then twirl their hair and run out of the court.


Re: really.... long before... yet couldn't introduce it till after the iPhone?

And IBM invented the tablet computer form factor back in the sixties.


Re: Judge Koh is harming Calfornia - time for her to be replaced

The F700 says "Samsung" on it. How do you confuse that? Oh, are they standing up for blind people who got "duped" into buying a Samsung phone?

Apple wins EU-wide Samsung Galaxy Tab 7.7 ban


Design patent?

Has anyone SEEN this "design" patent? It's for a thin, rectangular computer with a touch screen, one connector, and one button/hole on the top. This is so absolutely generic and common sense as to be laughable. Kellogg needs to try and patent a cardboard box with flaps and food stored inside and then sue everyone.

From what I see...

The Samsung has a back camera. Not mentioned in the "design" patent.

No size was mentioned in the patent.

Three buttons and two slots on the Samsung, not to mention the speaker grille, light sensors and front camera.

No colours were specified.

And the Samsung has writing on it that strangely enough, DOESN'T say Apple...

Apple is deathly afraid of losing market share and those HUGH profit margins from all the slave labour they outsource to Foxconn. They haven't done anything original since the first iMac. They simply take an existing product, go and bedazzle it a bit, then tell everyone they invented it and they have to buy it or be laughed at for being "uncool" at Starbucks.

Cockfighting Reg hack cursed with cancer

Thumb Up

Two please!

I'll take two of the chihuahuas. They are still under five months old, right? They get so damned chewy when they age beyond five months...

'Extreme' solar storm speeding straight towards Earth



You can't see the aurora during the summer up north...

Apple desperate to prevent nightmare scenario of iPad in Iranian hands


Blah, where are the fact checkers?

"Shabet says she lives in America and has no intention of exporting the device."


She was attempting to purchase the product to gift to a cousin in Iran. You cannot export to Iran!!! This isn't a simple anti-Arab thing, it's a FEDERAL LAW.

Welcome to America. Cry and whine when you attempt to violate federal law and everyone will feel sorry for you.

Chinese coders beat all-comers

Paris Hilton

Anyone notice...

The top three programmers have percentages of 50/45/30%. I can get a thousand pennies and start throwing them into a crowd. Eventually, I'll hit someone in the eye. Looks like the best one (in the top 20) is actually #15 from russia with a percentage of 76%.

Testicle-boiling new iPad ignites fanboi fury


Re: 112 is nothing? Bloody right - thou 'rt right soft bast'd

Well, why do you think they still use old-ass, slow chips in the space probes? They tolerate a whole lot more crap. Same thing at Apple. If I scream and yell and tell you how much you want what I have behind my back, you're gonna want it.

"Can I have three farthings for a lump of shit, please?"


Re: ouch @ Chet Mannly

"well look at betamax, jaguar, dreamcast and HD-DVD, they are dead. VHS, GameBoy, Playstation and Blue-ray won."

So, you are saying that Apple will win the tablet war, and based on previous experience, the inferior formats win?

Okay, thanks for that clarification.


Re: ouch

7.6 million sheep, interesting.

Actually, it's probably 2.533 million sheep as they bought three iPads (Not the kind women use, but close) to cover if they lose it, and to brainwash their child 24/7.



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