Posts by Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Chinese carmaker Chery using DeepSeek-driven humanoid robots as showroom sales staff

Marvine?

Will she be perpetually moaning about the ache in the diodes down her left side?

What the **** did you put in that code? The client thinks it's a cyberattack

Direct link:

https://wallpaperaccess.com/full/3302021.jpg

DARPA to 'radically' rev up mathematics research. Yes, with AI

Bigly

Microsoft Copilot shows up even when it's not wanted

Re: Google AI Overview

And with fon't colour the same as background colour?

Static electricity can be shockingly funny, but the joke's over when a rack goes dark

Aeons ago I worked for an outfit that made, amongst other things, high speed drum printers - 600 pages per minute - onto fanfold paper.

We'd do a test run then lift the stack of printout off the top of the machine, flick the laser line of perforations to start a tear, rip off the stack and take it to Reg, the QA guy, to OK or not.

There was a strip of grounded tinsel at the paper delivery slot, which was supposed to strip any static charge off the paper.

Only on this machine it hadn't been connected.

Mugging here lifted the paper stack, went to give the perforations a flick and received one GODALMIGHTY belt, a bit like being hit in the crook of my arm with a baseball bat.

It's moments like that which confirm the colour of adrenaline is definitely brown.

OK great, UK is building loads of AI datacenters. How are we going to power that?

It's all been carefully planned

Despite all the evidence suggesting otherwise.

Commercial space station outfit plans two Orbital Data Center nodes by the end of 2025

Let's see Simon and the PFYs expenses for support on this.

Mediatek wants to make Chromebooks more like Copilot+ PCs

Re: Chromebooks are student's labor saving devices

Copying and pasting the AI agent's output is not education.

China's EV champ BYD reveals super-fast charging that leaves Tesla eating dust

IIRC the cables on 350kW chargers are A) bloody heavy and B) water cooled. I wonder what the cable would be like on a 1000kW jobbie.

User complained his mouse wasn’t working. But he wasn’t using a mouse

Re: Confused Mouse

I bet there's still folk who'd try to ram a USB3 plug into a USBA/RJ45/HDMI Socket.

We did not have Brave clashing with Rupert Murdoch on our 2025 bingo card, but there it is

Does anyone have any positive views on the Brave AI summaries ?

From my own perspective they're akin to a seemingly unending extrusion of steaming dog turd.

Cheap 'n' simple sign trickery will bamboozle self-driving cars, fresh research claims

Round these parts there's several locations along derestricted single carriageway roads* where a long term temporary speed restriction has suddenly appeared on a 50m stretch.**

*60mph, but only if you don't mind the risk or wiping yourself out against an incoming bloody great tractor), where there

**Long term access to underground cable installation works for Vattenfall wind farm long distance DC feeder

The future of AI is ... analog? Upstart bags $100M to push GPU-like brains on less juice

Dear Lord. I remember 741 and CA3140 op amps.

Back in the days when you couldn't mix up electronic components and spilt grains of sugar, component legs went through boards, there was proper solder with lead and tin in it and power transistors were almost all 2N3055 and 2N2905.in T03 cans.

IBM return-to-office order hits finance, ops teams amid push to dump staff for AI

Popcorn, anyone?

That's all

UK government insiders say AI datacenters may be a pricey white elephant

There's gonna be some serious bitcoin mining hardware around soon.......

Amazon, Google asked to explain why they were serving ads on sites hosting CSAM

Don't do evil.

They let other people do that. Then can make money out of it without feeling guilty.

BOFH: Engage Hollywood Protocol – because nonsense always looks legit

Stitched up like a kipper

Privacy Commissioner warns the ‘John Smiths’ of the world can acquire ‘digital doppelgangers’

It doesn't help

That they're all called Bruce.

DeepSeek or DeepFake? Our vultures circle China's hottest AI

Transcript please. I really can't be bothered with podcasts etc.

Welsh woman fined for flatulence-fueled cyber harassment

I've just scent you a message.

She seems to have made an alimentary error of judgement.

Re: Just, how?!?

Alimentary my dear Watson. She contorted herself into an appropriate shape. A rectangle perhaps?

Re: Just, how?!?

Upvoted for Vertical Smirk

I fart in your general direction

Obviously

Just gassin' with an old acquaintance m'lud.

Dell ends hybrid work policy, demands return-to-office despite remote work pledge

Puffery rejected

That Dell "oh we didn't really mean what was said" has more than a smack of Carlill v Carbolic Smoke Ball Company about it. It is one of the defining cases in UK contract law, rejecting a number of defenses, including puffery. Yes, it's a UK case but the principles seem sound enough.

DeepSeek stirs intrigue and doubt across the tech world

It's not as if Chinese promotors don't already have a huge reputation for fibbing their noodles off.

Stargate, smargate. We're spending $60B+ on AI this year, Meta's Zuckerberg boasts

Re: All that money thrown away ...

Not on your NellAI

OpenAI's Operator agent wants to tackle your online chores – just don’t expect it to nail every task

Re: I've long thought "personal assistant" is the huge opportunity for Siri, Gemini etc.

£10/£20 a month? I suppose I'd give it a go if they paid me that much.

China claims major fusion advance and record after 17-minute Tokamak run

The crumpets were done, butter and strawberry jam opened and the tea was ready to be poured.

Copilot invades Microsoft 365 Personal and Family for an extra three bucks a month

Re: Path to profitability

Don't give them ideas, for Petes sake

Mail-out madness as insurer offers refunds to customers in error

Flustercuck

SpaceX will try satellite deployment on next Starship test

Re: Suborbital

They learn about the difficult bits: launch, separation, relighting and landing

Microsoft Edge takes a victory lap with some high-looking usage stats for 2024

AI powered tools and MSN

Well, that's two reasons not to use Edge straight away.

Are you better value for money than AI?

Shouldn't there be a minus in front of those figures?

BOFH: Printer's festive bips herald a merry mystery for the Boss's budget

Are you sure they've not?

<bip>

Stranded in space: Starliner crew to remain in orbit even longer as SpaceX faces delays

Re: If...

Well, it landed ok................

Humanoid robots coming soon, initially under remote control

Re: "A lot of the humanoids we see out there are a hammer in search of a nail,"

Seven of Nine?

We told Post Office about system problems at the highest level, Fujitsu tells Horizon Inquiry

And that's only coming out NOW?

Red Rabbit Robotics takes human form to sell work as a service

Your plastic pal who's fun to be with.

Microsoft says premature patch could make Windows Recall forget how to work

Hang on.....

Recall not working - So that's a problem HOW?

Amazon promises 4x faster AI silicon in 2025, turns Trainium2 loose on the net

Clippy on amphetamine

Drugs are bad, m'kay?

Win a slice of XP cheese if you tell us where Microsoft should put Copilot next

You missed "check no doors have fallen off"

I have a very soft spot for Copilot

Yes, it's a peat bog in the west of Ireland.

That's the place I'd stick it next, as well as now and previously.

Size ex large.

Microsoft hits back at claims it slurps your Word, Excel files to train AI models

"more intelligent and personalized services." Will it have the intelligence to adapt to my personal preferences and uninstall itself?

One thing AI can't generate at the moment – compelling reasons to use it for work

Re: Would you ...

I've seen corporate email missives that could be described as meaningless drivel of a similar calibre.

Interesting

Found this. AI Safety Institute

https://www.aisi.gov.uk/

We can clone you wholesale: Boffins build ML agents that respond like specific people

Re: Just when you think it can't get worse

Pleased to be of service.

AI PCs: 'Something will have to give in 2025, and I think it's pricing'

"Of the 1.5 billion PCs in use today, 30 percent are four years old or more."

All those PCs can happily run Linux.

Whomp-whomp: AI PCs make users less productive

"44 percent of respondents believe AI PCs are a gimmick or futuristic""

Really,,? I thought it'd have been far higher.

Microsoft Fabric promises transactions, analytics on one database service

Just another thing for Microsoft to create another flustercuck out of.