* Posts by darklord

117 posts • joined 13 Jun 2011


BOFH: Here he comes, all wide-eyed with the boundless optimism of youth. He is me, 30 years ago... what to do?


Oh so true

Wy t when ever you tell someone IT isn't +hat its cracked up to be they seriously think your pulling there leg.

Long hours doing server and datacentre rebuilds with no overtime

Dealing with the great unwashed

Phoning people who suddenly have no desire to speak to you after chasing you around the building to reset their password because they left there diary in the car and its raining so cant log on.

users logging calls in the middle of a power cut

washing their screens with soapy water

wet dogs under desks with their shinny pc which is now clogged up with wet dog hair

Users wandering off to maka brew when you walk in the office , no explanation as to the problem and there pc is locked, only to arrive back 45 minutes later wondering why the problem isn't fixed

Users dyeing n you unexpectedly and colleagues not allowing the call to be closed

Moving to different offices in the building and not telling anyone, plus moving the PC by poking holes through asbestos walls to get the Fibre through.

Yep A typical day in IT 3rd line support

Yep ive

Microsoft enables phone calls from your Windows PC (as long as it's paired with an Android)


Time machine

OOOOOH I could Make calls and send texts with Nokia suite back in 2009 and that actually worked well on a windows machine. bit late to theparty really.

IBM stands for I Block Money, says sales rep: Big Blue sued yet again by its own staff over 'missing' commissions

Paris Hilton

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me applies here!

Nowhere does it say they didn't get paid the salary they agreed too, They just didn't get the perks they thought they were entitled too, with no contract then they don't automatically get any more for doing the job they are paid to do.

And it took him how many years to realise hes getting screwed over and how many times did it happen. No wonder IBM is going down the pan with idiots like that.

Anyone else would have walked after the first time.

Boffins don bad 1980s fashion to avoid being detected by object-recognizing AI cameras


it appears at a certain distance it didn't work as the pics clearly show a person being detected at some point. !

Xiaomi the way to go phone: That would be with a 108MP camera by the looks of things



Overcompensating for something, No chance of a phone that size thanks.

My MacBook Woe: I got up close and personal with city's snatch'n'dash crooks (aka some bastard stole my laptop)


So a so called tech savvy Journalist eh, but definitely only a user!!!!!

So you didn't disable the guest account which any admin would immediately do on receipt of a new laptop. hmmmm not sure that ech savvy I guess.

Hapless engineers leave UK cable landing station gate open, couple of journos waltz right in


Er cutting nose off to spite face

So a terrorist gains access to sever the cable connections effectively shutting the internet down to the UK and America.

So isn't that like going to inconvenience terrorist organisations as well. as we all know they use the internet to communicate right!

And so what we have satellite technology which can be diverted from the cable solutions. ohh about 10 minutes disruption at most.

Samsung pulls sheets off costly phone-cum-fondleslab Galaxy Fold – and a hefty 5G monster


Itll fold until its been in some ones Jeans pocket a few times and the phone gets bent, Exit phone foldability and enter cracked screens.

Nice idea but the Burks who will actually by this aren't corporation and execs its the snotty 17 year olds to show off to there mates.

Ca-caw-caw: Pigeon poops on tot's face as tempers fray at siege of Lincoln flats


they could try emptying the bins a bit more regularly they're probably doing bi weekly removals as its environmentally friendly.

Yep more food for vermin.

Huawei pens open letter to UK Parliament: Spying? Nope, we've done nothing wrong


But what about other third parties in order to get information into the wrong hands.

And if they are so sure they're doing nothing wrong why not apply for NCSC CIPS accreditation. for secure networks. Are they worried what will be discovered.

If they get that then there's no reason anyone would question the possibility of back doors and data leakage from the devices

Fujitsu pitched stalker-y AI that can read your social media posts as solution to Irish border, apparently



Toll road systems already exist in the south. Surely half the infrastructure already exists.

ITs only the Europeans thinking well use looholes to gain entry to the eu markets.

Just like they do via Guernsey and Jersey back to the UK

Wow. Apple's only gone and killed off Mac, iPad, iPhone family... figures for units sold to fans


ok heres a question

How many android users who think they have a cheap handset actually bought a phone off contract.

so paid the real price of the handset and then tell me a comparable phone with the same build quality is cheaper.

I only knpow one person who bought an off contract phone.mevery one else is on contract


ah butisnt that the ppoint

They don't run like shit and need rebooting everyday to avoid the dreaded android slow down and lag and twitchy apps.

I am just happy to have a phone that wont disintegrate 1 day past the warranty expired and the battery died and the memory cards keep corrupting losing data and phots. a trait ive experienced with android ive ever owned.

never had that problem with my iphones. Iuse both one is my business phone and one is my personal.

The reliable one is my phone. Ill take reliability thanks.


The day Nokia died

The day Nokia died was when they stopped selling the mighty 6310i

After that it was down hill all the way

Dawn of the dead: NASA space probe runs out of gas in asteroid belt after 6.4 billion-mile trip


Why cant we have hydrazine cars Ill take 5333333333333mpg.

Seriously that is some achievement to get a craft to the asteroid belt and into it without being smashed to pieces.

RiP Dawn

You'll never guess what you can do once you steal a laptop, reflash the BIOS, and reboot it


Re: Again,

always shut down as my laptop running win7 takes 10 mins to come out of hibernation or sleep mode, whereas from cold less than a minute

Time to party like it's 2005! Palm is coming BAAAA-ACK


I loved my Palms

I had a V (company) and V3E of my own later And I loved them, However my phone does everything the palm did.

ZX Spectrum Vega+ blows a FUSE: It runs open-source emulator


I paid 9 quid for an emulator on my iphone and can play the same games (it came bundeled too.

Whilst this would be a nice idea The games (apart from Elite) where nothing special but this was the dawn of computer games.

Remember paying £20 a cassette in the early 80s in todays money that is over a £100.

Now game boys where far better prospect.

For €10k, Fujitsu will tell you if your blockchain project is a load of bull


Re: Fujitsu, meet HTC

Alredy done that in 2007 we worked with HTC then and got nowhere


Too late been there with HTC in 2007 who do you think taught them in the first place.

Sat on my desk right now is my old HTC touch Cruise from 2007/8. we worked on encrypted mobile for the MOD

Gemini goes back to the '90s with Agenda, Data and mulls next steps


So another gadget with features I can now do on my phone and I can make a phone call too. I think ill stay in the now not 25 years ago

I loved my Palm 5 and 3vx which I bought from my own money, but now my phone does all that and more.

'Plane Hacker' Roberts: I put a network sniffer on my truck to see what it was sharing. Holy crap!


so data comes out. doesn't mean you can gt data in.

a bit of a non story me thinks. I work with airbus on this type of stuff and they certainly are not on the fence. there world leaders in cryptographic devices

Sounds like someone hasn't had any press for a few weeks.

Marriage of AI, Google chips will save diabetics from a lot of pricks


except libre is not accepted as a reliable means of blood testing by the DVLA. and only checks the glucose in the substrate of the skin apparently.

This is why its not available on the nhs everywhere. as its results vary between the libre reading and a usual blood glucose monitor.

I know ive done them both.


great idea but 85% is not tolerable for medical reasons it would have to be 99.9 or better reliable for DVLA and driving lisencing purposes this is why Libre is not accepted by DVLA yet.

Diabetics on insulin have to check there blood glucose levels at least 2 hours before driving which is mandatory.

I would love there to be a better way and in the future there will be. its a start for us. keep up the research and well get there.

Monday: Intel touts 28-core desktop CPU. Tuesday: AMD turns Threadripper up to 32


So when will windows licensing catch up and start per core licenses for the desktop.

and when it happens that fancy new desktop will cost you how much to run.

BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'


Re: Fiat 500

I know too people who have had an accident in the 500.

I will never work again in her profession as a teacher as she can no longer stand for any length of time due to severe neck injuries.

The other was seriously hurt agin neck injuries. and no not whiplash

Both rear enders the seats are not safe under rear impact clearly.

... Aaaand that's a fifth Brit Army Watchkeeper drone to crash in Wales


Re: Savings

Knowing a bit about this stuff.

The chances are the 5 lost where all experimental platforms and are sacrificial test beds. (but still funded by MOD)

The other 49 are probably mothballed somewhere or not even delivered yet.

Anyway I hope thats what is happening else its a cock up. and Thales will have a lot to explain to parliament.

Furious gunwoman opens fire at YouTube HQ, three people shot


Anyone else feel YT stopped paying for her videos cause they may just have been a bit "[email protected]"

Another religious nutter or something.

The fact YT are pulling gun videos makes this a little ironic don't ya think.

10 PRINT "ZX81 at 37" 20 GOTO 10


Re: Burn-In

for me

ZX80>ZX81>BBC MOD B> COMMORE pet> AMSTRAD CPC464>SPRECTRUM> PC8088>PC8086>ATARI ST>286 onwards to a career in IT and there was an Osbourne in there somewhere.

UK drone collision study didn't show airliner window penetration


for once i agree with the goverment

I agree to licensing drones and model aircraft , helicopters. I think the study misses the point Airliners are one thing but this also applies to small aircraft who don't have the same thick windscreens as a commercial airliner flying at 500 MPH.

So a twat loses his toy, but a person can lose their life due to these things being buzzed around.

Nokia 8: As pure as the driven Android - it's a classy return



Its not a 6310I not interested,

Like the phone not the new operating system visuals.

Microsoft's new hardware: eight x86 cores, 40 GPU cores


Re: 4K? Meh

4 Colour CGA, Blimey that was posh, When I started we had three colours, Green on black or Amber on Black or White on Black. Or vice versa but not at the same time. Them are the sort of things that gets people killed! bit like travelling at 30mph in 1829 on a train :-0

Cheer up, pal: UK mobe networks are now 8% less crap, tests show


EE not round here thanks

Were on EE with work, And it don't work where I live so fail. as I work from home a lot its next to useless. still they are better than o2 who we had before, which was dire ill stick with Vodafone for now.

Nintendo pulls the Switch, fires Joy-con at Microsoft and Sony


WII was way overated, mine sat under the telly gathering dust after about a week, the controllers and motion stuff just made the games unplayable, games where a good idea though it was the controller that let it down.

Vinyl, filofaxes – why not us too, pleads Nokia



Awesome phone used to last a month on charge and 11 days with heavy usage, I have a lumia 640, what apiece of garbage. cheaply made, drop it and its toast, windows 8 is pants.

so not much going for nokia now

Internet of Sh*t has an early 2017 winner – a 'smart' Wi-Fi hairbrush



and i thought the WIFI toothbrush was pointless

Making us pay tax will DESTROY EUROPE, roars Apple's Tim Cook


Nothing new here move on

This is only doing what Motorola and Dell did back in in 1989. in order to get business into Ireland.

EU should keep their noses out I am not a fan of apple. but this is nothing to do with Europe politics more of who didn't get a back hander.

Penetration tech: BAE Systems' new ammo for Our Boys and Girls


cost as well

Steel and allow rounds are considerably more expensive so BAE are on a winner here.

ITs not all about weight of the bullet its about energy retention down rage will give better penetration. reduce friction etc and less energy is wasted through air flow. the round is probably faster with faster burnng propellant thus increasing muzzle energy.


New barrels please

So accuracy will go out of the window pretty quickly when the barrels worn outand the chokes are blown to bits too.

Watch this space itll happen

How do you build a cheap iPhone? Use a lot of old parts


5S Vs6S

I wish this came out before the 6S as I prefer my old 5S to my current 6S just felt sturdier and more comfortable in the hand

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The Red Dwarf chilli chutney egg sarnie


Proper chili sauce

Ok who's going to try this wih maddog 357 or 4 am chili sauce.

It's official: You can now legally carrier-unlock your mobile in the US


Glad to see priorities are set

The worlds gone %H&T and the middle east are tearing themselves apart after the US ousted the Stronger leaders.

People are dying from Starvation, The Nasty Bio warfare bugs back, terrorists seem to be winning.

And the US health care reforms are a bit dodgy.

But its OK i can unlock my Mobe from a carrier as ii had a change of heart and dont like verizon anymore though the gave me a shiny free $500 smart phone. Quick win anyone

Samsung Galaxy S5 in El Reg's claws: This time the 'S' is for 'sensible'


brittle screen

Have the fixed the brittle glass. which failed on my wifes S4 after she put a plastic container of salad on it by accident!!!!!!!

Apple flops out latest OS X Mavericks beta, hopes sound+graphics sorted



My MBA 12 model with I7 will not run Mavericks with out error messages on shutdown and startup. And this is a vanilla build Snow leopards absolutely fine.

Id like to upgrade but not with those issues. i get fed up of reverting back so ive decided its staying a s SL

Haribo gummy bears implicated in 'gastric exorcism'


this has been known for sugar free for a long time

My diabetic consultant basically told me anything sugar free is a laxative as the substance used instead of sugar will give you the sqits including stuff marked for diabetics.

So its not new the answer is eat a little instead of great handfulls at a time. just imagine eating a handful of EX lax each time.

I've seen the future of car radio - and DAB isn't in it


Love my DAB. no problems anywhere in the country. get the odd blip but i get that on FM too.

and its a BMW.

Thai man reportedly dies clutching his scorched iPhone 4S


Re: It's all about the money

Partly true re CE. the Mark is equivalent to the BS kite mark of yesteryear.But the CE means nothingin itself its the test documentation and spec reports Cof C's and D of C's which back this up and is only applicable in the european community.

Non european companies does not have to comply nor mark its products CE certified but do so they can sell in europe. as most people will now notice no CE mark in might be dodgy. but the mark doesnt mean that the relavant supporting tests and documents are actually in situ if coming from outside europe.

TUV are one of the european test centres and trhere mark should back up the CE mark. Before some one jumps in yes i know there was an issue and fine a regarding fake tits in france.

City of London cops arrest 6 suspected to be Microsoft counterfeit ring



It cost more for the police operation for such a small return. Completely pointless hardly a multimillion pound empire but of course this is a deterent.

Charge the same as Apple IOS or linux for an OS and its no longer viable to counterfiet simples.

Keep money grabbing the way MS do and its lucrative.

No fanbois here just simple common sense. where did my Tax money go again.

Are you experienced? The Doctor Who assistants that SUFFERED the most


K9????????? - I always hated that programme its worse than crossroads.

Pimp my office: 10 cubicle comforts


I must be missing a trick.

I got

one keyboard ive had years

one mx1000 laser mouse ok expensive at the time but beat RSI

17" monitor

Desk and chair

oh and a telephone i cant use.

and a pedastal ive had for 13 yrs and refuse to part with cause its full of my crap.



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