Posts by Bob Jones

Google mistakes search for teleportation

Virgin Holidays

Virgin Holidays gets one for some reason ... ooh ahh!

IBM to shove ads onto DVDs

DVDs + Ads = TV

Am I the only who doesn't understand why they'd want TV to be replicated on DVD?

I'm sorry but lets see whats on DVD:

TV Shows

Movies

Lets see whats on TV:

Movies

TV Shows

Why would recreating the TV experience be a good way to profit on DVDs? The point of DVDs is to get away from the TV experience.

I have TV shows on DVD, I can watch them 8 times a day on TV with ads, I bought the DVDs to get away from them.

I can get the movie on TV, without advertisements as well if its on box office - fro less than it costs for a DVD, why on earth would I buy DVDs then?

UK pushes token security line on child database

Transparency

I note that Opera is actually more secure than Firefox despite being closed source and made by a company ... maybe the problem isn't open or closed but complacency that Microsoft and governments have ...

I'm not sure open would be better because its giving it away to the people, they can find a problem and instantly hack ... a bit more of a problem when its a database full of peoples information.

Transparency

I note that Opera is actually more secure than Firefox despite being closed source and made by a company ... maybe the problem isn't open or closed but complacency that Microsoft and governments have ...

I'm not sure open would be better because its giving it away to the people, they can find a problem and instantly hack ... a bit more of a problem when its a database full of peoples information.

Nobody bad will have access to it!

I'm sure there will be no bad people allowed to see this. Doctors, teachers, etc, will all need vetting ... of course, if we had a database of all them then we could really make sure!

As for the script monkeys, they will be put in their own database and we will check them with other databases to make sure they're not in any of them (of course, if a Database manager did find they were in one - they could always delete it!, or I don't know, send it in the post).

Now that I think of it, this database is so secure that no paedophiles will ever get near it ... we should therefore make more of them.

A database of all the old people in the country, with special tags marking their competence, I'm sure pesky scammers who prey on old people would not find them!

Now, isn't it kind of funny with all these databases of perfect victims like children or old people, with so much regard for security, a database of all the padeophiles will probably never get made in the off chance some Sun readers got hold of it and went around to their house ... odd, huh?

UK.biz faces severe penalties for hiring illegal workers

to Andy S

Well there are clues, bad English for one, foreign accent would give away that one is an immigrant. To determine their legal status should be easy from there .... Ask some simple questions likewhere are you from? A legal immigrant from Poland with would have no problem answering this truthfully, how did you come here? etc.

Illegal immigrants will want to hide their past, a legal immigrant wouldn't ... asking an immigrant worker where they came from doesn't seem too inquisitive to me ...

You could probably also notice when young workers don't speak txt tlk or shizit ... suggesting they are not British youth.

How hard they work will likely give them away as Eastern Europeans, by the simple fact, they're working twice as hard as us ...

Seems fairly easy to spot one to me.

Quick, make a fricking database!

Quick, we need a database of all the legal citizens then we can check if you're illegal or not!

Ignore the fact that the common Joe can't use common sense to weed out illegals, we must need a database ... now, when David Cameron applies for a job after leaving the Tory party out of shame, his job at the Daily Mail won't go very well when the computer says he isn't in the database and deports him!

Meanwhile, illegals get jobs and illegal criminals aren't deported incase the Italian police would beat him with pasta and sauce! Human rights!

Civil service apologises for HMRC data loss

I wonder if ...

The letter sent will include all the data they lost on you?

"Hello Mr Boris Jones,

We recently had a little snapfoo in which we lost some discs with your private data on, don't worry the HMRC still know you exist and will continue to tax you and take your money, the Police won't forget to their routine checks that you might be a terrorist or a Tory and the NHS will make sure you don't smoke or eat, don't worry we still have all the information we need to guide your life in the right direction. We regret that some non-Government persons may also have all the info they need, we will continue searching the Tory HQ and especially the Lib Dem quarters to make sure your data wasn't taken by the named suspects.

For your information, and that of your postman here is all the data we have on you:

Name: Boris Johnson

Terrorist Risk: 99, Likely Tory.

Health Risk: 88, Smoker, Fatty ... Likely Tory.

Taxability: 99, earns a lot of money.

DNA: 010101101110000110

Bank Account: 0123 4567 8978 [10/07] [10/10] 999

Address: 01 Brown Road, Darling, Ars Ho1e, WA4 KER.

UK punters lose faith in phished brands

Forget Barclays, I'll go with Bonsons Bank who e-mailed me!

I like the idea somebody gets a phishing email "from their bank" Barclays, they immediately distrust the bank ... next, they get a nice e-mail from Bonsons Bank in Nigeria with bad spelling, since they're looking for a new bank, they join up!

Save the BBC - by setting it free

BBC = Britain

The BBC is the only reason Britain has a culture these days, without it all our TV would be from America without the love (now with 50% more political value!).

With our "domestic" policy come from Brussels and our foreign policy coming from Washington, thank god the BBC provides a British voice for British people.

Rule Britannia and the BBC!

Writers' strike hits US talk shows hard

Letterman in Blighty

Simon, Letterman does air in the UK on Sky and Virgin ... 282, 9PM daily ... luckily the channel is 3 wweks behind, so enjoy the next 3 weeks!

Irish man rescued after falling for 419 scam

Euros

I've never seen a single 419 Scam in Euro's, surely when you win the lottery or your bank has a prize for you, it would be in your local currency?

How just thinking about terrorism became illegal

Western Digital

A warning to all, if Germany goes ahead with this then I urge you to stop buying Western Digital drives ... if you did anyway.

I know when mine broke I had to send it to a factory in Germany ... where Fuhrer Merkel could probably install whatever she wants ... I'm not sure wether new drives come from there but its too great a risk.

I wonder if they will be scanning the hard drives looking for signs of Islam? Sounds nothing like the 1930s ...

UK minister pledges policing for Second Life

Is it legal at the moment?

Wait, its legal for me to money launder or steal identities right now? Sweet ... off to Second Life I go, watch out, you may need a third life after I take your second ... muhahaha.

I love when the police plan to outlaw what is already illegal, Dowing St announced new laws against terrorism - was it legal before?

E-borders kills off UK-Ireland passport free travel

Economy

I think Britain will want to keep Northern Ireland in the same way that we wanted tonnes of Eastern European countries that weren't ready, to join the EU (Poland, Bulgaria, Rumania, any one ... contrast this to Estonia or Slovenia who were at least of a decent stature) so that the FTSE companies can go and buy up the land and people. The Northern ireland economy won't stay the worst in the UK for ever, its eventually going to at least reach Scottish levels, most likely English ... who will be there to help? The companies of course ... Now, you may be thinking, well since the EU means any company can go in there, they can, but being under the same (or mostly) legislation will help our companies.

When that is done though, the North will probably look at the South and wonder why the hell haven't we got an economy like theirs? The answer they've got a socialist government in Westminster who love their welfare state and to tax everything.

Won't be long until the North is begging to join the South ... I expect for the next 30 years, we'll keep NI and let the economy develop, at which point the South won't feel they'll be picking up dead weight (ie. Eastern Germany) and the North will see the grass is greener down in the South and wish to join ...

Why do we keep N.I?

Well atleast half of the people there want to stay in the UK ... it is a bit important to the UK, there is industry there, but I think its population numbers ... every little helps the UK claim more power in the EU and on the world stage, which is why we try let as many immigrants in and move here as possible.

I don't think it really matters any more in the EU super state, but it does matter to a few people in Northern Ireland, any significant change would likely be a disaster.

Plus, I imagine the North are quite happy to get the "UK-watered down" EU than join the RoE which can't exert much, if any, influence in the EU yet is of course subject to their policies, or create a new sovereign country in which the people of Northern Ireland would essentially be ruled from Brussels.

I think the way it is now is probably the lesser evils for most Northern Irish people ...

As for a single economy, well we already have that ... its the EU.

I find it funny that the UK instead of opening borders, like the EU wants, or maintaining the status quo of a border with Europe but not with EIre has gone one step further and actually made a border inside their country.

I can't wait until we can border Yorkshire up and stop all the Lancastrians getting in ... viva la Yorkshire! Its madness.

Nu Lab merged with Sinn Fein?

Passport between Northern Ireland and the British mainland is dispicable ... clearly Nu Lab have sold out, why would they be treated any differently then a Scot travelling down to England?

It seems idiotic ... the Northern Ireland people will now have free travel into the Republic, but to get into Great Britain (where a parliament with significant power of them is located), they need a Passport? Its almost as if Nu Lab are pushing the Northern Irish into the Republic.

UK Government tried to stop EU roaming cap

Yay, I can call the Roman empire now!

Great ... I can call the neu Roman Empire for significantly cheaper, talk to the Nazi's in Germany, the socialists in Spain, the a**holes in France but now a call to my local MP, who I actually elected, costs me double ... thank you EU.

Swede with UK betting licence held in Amsterdam for 'breaking' ancient French law

Germany

J, no sarcasm needed ... Brits have a long standing way of bending over backwards for foreigners, to get screwed and we barely arrest those who broke a real law (and if their foreign, well howdy-dee ... lets give you a house to horde your illegal assets in while threatening to kill us all!) let alone those who broke an ancient law intended to help Great British companies. I ask whenever has the Brit gov in dealing with the EU ever looked out for Britannia's companies?

Sceptical Bastard, I would have mentioned the War but with foreign EU police now allowed to enforce the(ir) law in Great Britannia, I am in hiding, expect Soviet-style "interrogations" soon. Their past is our future.

Why not in the UK?

Because we are a free country without the biased socialist nationalist crap that the French exude ... we would never uphold such politically motivated arrests.

The EU needs tearing down, or at least kicking the French out ... they force their dispicable companies into Britannia yet play extremely hard to keep Great British companies out of their sess pit of doom ... I'm undecided on Germany, they've been known to do the same.

US demands air passengers ask its permission to fly

Its their right ...

to be stupid.

I don't care, I would rather not fly to/over/from the place, but its their sovereign land (or air space?) let them do what they wish.

A great boost to Canadian tourism and air travel, I wonder if Expedia will let my specify I don't want to enter US airspace.

Student suspended in gun rights email row

Gun laws - I support them

because thanks to the right to bear arms, America is the safest country on earth!

;)

Jihadi-sniffers blame White House for leaking secrets

Bush making terrorists lifes easier?

What else is new?

Another investigation into Pirate Bay child porn

Not there place?

Not their place to judge if its immoral? For god sakes, it is their site! Ofcourse it is their place, so they are effectively endorsing child pornography.

Forget immoral, its illegal and do they think there isn't a victim at the end of the camera? Its shameless.

If thats the prevalent attitude in Sweeden its shocking.

Republicans hammer Brit artist's Bush

Shocking

I am actually quite digusted at that picture and this is from a Brit, there is a picture on his ear of a woman giving a blowjob for god sakes.

Only 'major' EU countries to be in second iPhone rollout

Major Countries

Germany, UK, France for sure.

Italy is very likely, the population is big and they are massive phone users.

MP slams school biometric guidance

23 years too late, but here comes Big Brother!

Well they were a bit late, 23 years to be exact, but 1984 is clearly here.

Schools need biometric data on our children, the future of this country, why?

Are they terrorists or sex offenders? They must be one of them, why else would we track them?

Lib Dems are almost right, this shouldn't be happening in the first place, wether parents have a choice or not, what right does the state have to take our childrens biometric data?

Breakfast with bin Laden

Easy for you to say!

You're in Dublin ... would you write from London or Glasgow next time and see how safe we are?

EU info group probes UK.gov IT strategy

What right do they have?

What right do a bunch of foreign unelected morons have to probe anything our government do? But off and focus on your own country!

If anybody has a right to look it would be British citizens not a Eurocrat.

UK going to hell on hardware, eco group warns

Its sad that the US has OTA HD for years

Another way for Big Government to control the people ... now we can't protest without being a terrorist and we can't take about immigration without being a racist, political correctness, anti-terror and now global warming - they control everything we do.

Everything we do is likely to be either politically incorrect, illegal under the terrorism acts or bad for the enviroment ... so now they'll outlaw it all until we are nothing but slaves to MPs and the EU.

Sky is 'silly' to whine about HD for All

Its sad that the US has OTA HD for years

The US with no real PSB to speak of, except PBS which spends its time trying to get money to fund fundraisers and isn't even considered a big network, has had OTA HD for a number of years ... while we with a totalitarian PSB which yanks money of us every year have DONE NOTHING ...

Ironic, we leave it ot "private sector", while the US managed to do it with tax money?

'Effete' Europe useless in GWOT, says bin Laden man

Title

Its funny ... an arrogant, Israeli-bought, hawkish, neocon discussing how Europe hates America ... if you want a reason, I'd suggest a mirror.

Europe didn't hate America when Clinton was in office ... but this gas bag hates Clinton too.

London NHS paper reveals plans to share patient data

The best case yet against government healthcare?

If the CCTV cameras, terrorism act ... weren't bad enough, we give our medical data to a government run hell hole the NHS, we must be stupid to expect it isn't transferred to every bureaucrat in the country - heck, I'm suprised it isn't being shipped off to Brussels already.

Spluttering UK net neutrality movement gets breath of life

Brown - Save Us!

If Brown wants to win over the techy vote, put forward a bill making net neutrality law.

Europe's banks must inform customers of US snooping

US rules the world?

I love how the US gov believes it has the right to export their laws and make foreign companies and countries hand over all their data but believes that it shouldn't follow the US constitution when doing all that, as well it only applies to inside the US.

Police will share data across Europe

The End of Britain

Do you want your data been shipped off to Romania? How about Bulgaria? I don't trust this government to keep it secure, but I especially doubt Romanians can.

We are screwed.