Posts by Silverburn

iPhone 4S pre-orders obliterate sales records

...also...

...how late is 'late'? 2 mins? an hour? a day? can it tell how late you'll be, even if you youself don't even know by how much?

and 'tell' - will it phone her up and say "X is running late". Or will it txt? or email?

Laptop shoots spike into owner's hand

@ Cornz

...I'm scared you know this type of information...

Nanotubes, sulfur expand battery storage

Nanotubes...

...is there nothing they can't do...

oh wait - there is...where the f* is my space elevator???

Stallman: Jobs exerted 'malign influence' on computing

Oh please...part 2

And what's this crap about content lock in?

It's funny but all my books and audio are DRM free and in 'standard' formats, and both are playable on both Android and IOS. I *didn't* have to buy them from itunes/kindle etc either. Which mean everyone doesn't either.

How do I know? Because I use both devices.

Oh please...

Slate Apple all you like, but don't pretend Android is the perfect product. It's not. It's flawed, just as IOS is flawed, just as WinMob is flawed, etc etc.

What you *should* have said is "anyone with a brain will do their research, then weigh the pro's and con's before deciding on their device". Otherwise you just come across as a rabid fandroid, no better and no more credible than the fanbois.

Brit boffins' bendy bamboo bike breakthrough

Actually...

Scaffolding is easy.

Making a light-but-strong, stable bike with good ride and handling properties, using complex joins that will provide consistent performance for years is not.

Pffft...

..screw the environmental crap...how *good* a bike is it?

And does bamboo has the same resistance to repeated-flex fatigue that carbon does?

This could be a good thing; if it can match the properties of carbon, but with none of the environmental drawbacks, I'm all for it.

Boffins fear killer gamma death blasts from space

Well, they currently have *no* ozone, so are therefore immediately more susceptable to UV than 'us', GRB or not. Lucky for them, they have near total coverage of 'SPF 1000' feathers (even though sun cream won't necessarily protect against this UV).

Not all GRB's are planet/ozone killers; most are currently dealt with by the ozone layer (if you have some...sorry penguins, that's not you). Even when a 'big one' occurs, it's once every 100m years anyway.

To get a planet-frying dose, you'd need to be on the receiving end of something like a pulsar's polar emission from within a few hunded light years of here. Even the Crab Nebula hasn't fried us all yet.

Ozone layer

...maybe if we hadn't totally hosed our ozone layer, maybe this would be less of an issue than it is.

Only consolation is that in this event it'll be the annoyingly cute (but bloody rank) penguins who get roasted first.

Biker gang plunders Covent Garden Apple Store

Methinks playing on the "the boss just died" sympathy card is missing on the crims.

They're so dumb and shallow they probably only care that it's the "shiny shiny"; they wouldn't have known who Steve Jobs was, even if he introduced himself.

I wouldn't get so pissed off about thieves if I knew:

a) they actually get caught once in a while

b) they lost a finger every time, triad style. Rather than a commuty sentence they won't turn up to anyway

Twitter update: @regsecurity – The Reg bags imposter

Twitter?

wot's that then?

Pah, humbug

Oracle settles with Feds over price gouging

Oracle overcharges ????

No...no way....surely not....you jest....

Starbucks extends gratis Wi-Fi to UK

Free wifi + overpriced coffee

translated:

"Hopefully if we hook you up to some free wi-fi, you won't notice that your wallet is considerably lighter, and your coffee tastes like yak piss"

IE security hole sewn up for Patch Tuesday

More bloody IE fixes...

...surely they must have caught them all by now? surely? Especially all the IE 6 ones?

oh wait...this is IE and Microsoft.

London 2012 Olympics: 17000 athletes, 11000 computers

Vista and consistency

They want to use vista to 'maintain consistency'?

Consistently what? Consistently crap?

Pay to watch free stuff on Xbox 360

Errr....

...just a shame the movie/TV program will use the same amount of your download cap, whether it's pirate or legit.

TDK fires up LASERS to double hard drive capacity

Lasers in HD's?

Why don't we skip the spinning/physical media altogether and go straight to laser/optical? Last I heard, it promised massive capacity, tiny latency, and with none of the limitations of magnetic media.

BBC One and bureaucracy spared in Auntie cuts

Cancellation

they won't be cancelled...just sold on.

Whereapon they will become shadows of their former selfs in less than 12 months. *Then* cancelled.

Go further...

Dump deadenders, corrie, river city, <insert guff soap here>, and watch the country's IQ and morale rise 50%

Bloody bureaucrats

How come they survive the chop?

I mean, how many paper-shufflers, quasi-managers and trick-cyclists do you need to run a media company, FFS.

In this whole recession, I think I've only seen one company actually aim the cuts and the management/paper-shufflers which is where the biggest savings can be made, and it wouldn't affect the capacity to actually produce and deliver products & services.

Lenovo ThinkCentre Edge 91z all-in-one PC

I like it

Some of their notebook have been a bit tacky of late, but this actually looks quite good! You won't see the gubbins round the side and back that often.

Not too bad a price either. Definitely worth a look-in over an imac at least.

Apple stuffs Intel desktop CPU into iPhone 4S ad

iBollocks?

Methinks having piping hot hardware in your nether regions for prolonged periods would make the name iSpermKillers more appropriate.

Lol

Wow..apple literally copying another manufacturers processors...the irony is so juicy, it makes fruit pastilles look bitter...

The iPhone 4S in depth: More than just a vestigial 'S'

There's also...

..the increased apeture size as well. That'll let is more than enough light to compensate for the extra glass (which'll be wafer thin anyway), plus - hopefully - enough left to live up to the claimed improved low-light performance.

iPhone 5 a no-show at Apple's 'Let's talk iPhone' event

If you're gonna bait the fanbois...

...at least come up with something original, witty or clever. Hell, I'd even settle for a new joke.

Talk about tired and cliched baiting...sheesh. Score? 3/10

Spotted that too...

...and I had a right old laugh too!

Only thing not expect was Siri...that'll be interesting to see how actually useful that is in the real world. I actually see many uses for this...if it works.

Chrome browser 'is becoming Number Two'

R8

An Audio R8?

Is that the chinese rip-off copy of an Audi R8? And you use the best products you say? Indeed...

Ecclesiastical judge tells church: Let there be Wi-Fi

...mmm....

....bikini's....

Yeah, yeah, I know the way...

In other words...

Imperical testing, evidence and expert testimony = WIN

Making shit up because you're a paranoid bible basher = FAIL

HeyTell voice messenger

Err...

...why don't I just phone the guy instead?

By the time I've recorded the message and sent it, I'd probably have finished a normal phone call. And does it really cost that much to call these days? Probably cheaper than data at least..

Amazon to whup Apple rivals when Kindle Fire hits UK

14% want the *old* iPad version?

<-- see icon

Samsung reveals release for 5in tablet

FFS

10'...9'...7'...5'...where will this madness end???

My life won't be complete until I've got a tablet that's at least 5 decimal points and startsway 7.53263'...

UK punters happy to pay £3 to top up e-wallets

No 'free' option in survey???

<--- see icon

Aussie parrots hit the sauce and hit the deck

I can answer that

air speed: depends how high the tree is

ground speed: 0 mph

rate of acceleration: 1 gravity

PS - I got the python reference

I saw this on TV

A David Attenborough Natural world edition, IIRC.

I saw at the age of 9, and since then, I've yet to see a comedy act since that's made me laugh as hard or for as long. Even now - 30 years later, the thought of those pissed elephants and monkeys still has me smiling.

Woman nabbed for 'senseless' stiletto ATM attack

Was she called...

...Sarah Connor?

No wonder she was so buff in T2 - she'd been working out by smashing every ATM in America...

First-person shooter swaps guns for cameras

This has scope though...

Just imagine...a 'run the guantet' 3-team scenario with a twist:

you and your team of 4 journo's must be able to survive a car drive through the suburbs of Bahgdad, carry a precious bit of footage.

You must avoid being killed on one side by the native who *do* want to kill you with snipers and IED's, and the Americans on the other side with their A10's who aren't trying to kill you, but will anyway.

One of you drives, the other 3 film. The other teams must aim to eliminate the other combatant team, and gain bonus points for confiscating the incriminating footage from the journos (without killing them).

World takes notice as SSL-chewing BEAST is unleashed

We're doomed!

...doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomed!

Acer Iconia A100 7in Android tablet

You have a man bag???

Please no...if buying a 7" tab makes me the type of guy who needs a man bag, I'll be perfectly happy with my 10" and proper chest-haired rucksack, ta very much...

Mars trips could blind astronauts

Another possible cause...

Lemme see...

- 3 year trip

- long periods of boredom

- no wives/girlfriends on board

I can think of another self-inflicted activity which might account for the blindness...

Lancs shale to yield '15 years' of gas for UK

Sources?

"The UK burned through 3.11 trillion cubic feet in 2009, according to the US Energy Information Administration"

Why do the US know more about our consumption than our own government? Don't we have data of our own?

"The group reckons it can extract 200 trillion cubic feet from sites near Preston and Liverpool – more than the current national estimates for Poland. Assuming a 20 per cent recovery rate..."

Does this whole article seem too good to be true...?

Hunt for long-lost Apollo 10 moon lander adrift in space

Me! Me! Me! Me!

Screw the kids...I want in on this too - how cool is this?

Part of me wishes they do find it, and it has become a Star-Trek style sentient being, hell bent on assimilating it's creator...

Virgin Media finally offers network options on SuperHub

Must stop playing Deux Ex...

First thing I thought of was General Position Locator, as found in your neural aug...especially good for helping locating kidnapped scientists

yes, yes, back in the basement for me...

In related news...

I've managed to get my BT homehub v3 to last almost a month without crashing. Is that a record?

Windows 8: First contact with Microsoft Touch

Performance?

Windows 7 isn't exactly known for it's meagre hardware requirements; I don't see Windows 8 reducing them either.

If Windows 8 is "full fat" (which I imagine it will need to be run as normal windows), exactly what sort of tablet hardware did MS see this running on?

Clue: if it needs fans to cool a monster CPU, they've failed already.

SAP coughs $20m to feds in Oracle slurp spat

Oracle vs SAP

For reasons I can't work out, when I read about this spat all I can imagine is two evil sith lords duking it out.

Can't they both take each other out, and we'd be free from both of them?

Momentary Micron skirt-lift reveals big flashy box

HOTW!

Headline of the week!

HP to refund full-price Touchpad and Pre3 buyers

HP'ers in UK?

Wait...haven't they all been outsourced to India yet?

If not, it won't be long I'm sure. Stupid short-sighted PHB's...

9/11: The day we lost our privacy and power

@ Chrissy

Why the f* do we have 7bn anyway?

many overlook the simplest, cheapest method of returning to sustainability - ethical population control. It can be done, and the results far more effective than any green wash. It would at least allow us to wean ourselves off oil-based agriculture.

Why do we always think earth does have enough resources to support us...why don't we think the alternative - that perhaps there's too many of us for earth to support? Why is population control so taboo?

Apple plan to rate shops etc by number of iPhones visiting

Nice idea...

But will be f* all use if Apple wins the patent war; many of the patents in iPhone 4/5/iPad will be in 6 as well. Samung would be able to copy it all it likes, but Apple would just go back to court again, even if samsung got their version out first.

However, board layouts, components, internal packaging, materials etc would all still be useful, and likely to be useful intelligence. Why copy, when you can use this info to jump ahead?