Posts by Silverburn

Lenovo ThinkPad X1 13.3in Core i5 notebook

Aaah...

...I see you have children too.

Mine would have the entire laptop into it's components parts and covered in jam/dribble in 30 seconds, never mind the door.

Nice...

Agree with author - screen less than ideal.

A few minor points for me:

- Tone the logo's down to something more subtle

- Put the pageup/dwn keys back where they should be...

- Trackpads generally work better when their aspect ratio matches the screens.

- integrated GPU? pity.

All in all...not a bad effort. Check out that price though....

Apple admits iPhone battery suckage, promises fix

It's funny...

...watching the two camp duke it out as to which of their platforms is crapper.

Jeez you two - chill the f* out.

Droidbois - if your beloved Android was so damned perfect, you wouldn't need ICS would you? And it will be a .0 release forever will it? No bug fixes? Let those without sin...etc etc. And some people *prefer* the simplicity of Apple devices to the complexity/freedom/tinkerability of Android devices. Just accept it.

Fanbois - enough with the denial - *every software manufacturer* has f*ed up at some point, and invariably needs *at least* one bug fix release. Apple are no different. Andriod *does* do some things better than IOS too. Just accept it.

Now, if my world view is correct, I shal recieve copious downvotes from both now-affronted fanboi camps (because what I said is complete lies, naturally). While receiving a smidgen of upvotes from the more rational human beings who still have a firm grasp of reality - who's lives are not defined by which phone OS they use.

Minnow Android slab maker BEATS Apple in court

WTF?

There's an old saying..."the sprinter who watches the chasers has already lost".

Apple, get back to innovating and stop worrying about your competitors; if you were truly confident in your products, you wouldn't have to try to protect your market share by legal means.

Caveat: Lots of apple kit in my house. But increasingly less likely to be more in the future.

Airbus brews Scandium smackdown for carbon Dreamliner

Bus lanes

If you get tailgated by buses, you're not pedalling hard enough...

Stick-backed plastic?

pah, real engineers use duct tape. And their other tool is WD40.

As the saying goes...

If it should move and it doesn't use WD40. If moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.

I'm obviously a poor engineer, in that I also use a 3rd tool - a hammer. And swearing.

World heading for massive jobs slump

oh well

There was me thinking of emmigrating too - looks like the grass won't be any greener anywhere else either.

Maybe I'll go live in a cave or something, and wait for this 'civilisation' fad to pass.

Victorian government moves to mollify IT channel

Victorian government?

We've travelled back in time already? Cool...

oh wait, no.

Pete Townshend condemns Apple as 'digital vampire'

I can see it now...

Somewhere, in Apple PR department:

Drone 1: "Pete Townsend? Do we give a shit?"

Drone 2: <looks up itunes sales for PT, and Bio info on Wikipedia> "No. Plus he slagged off the holy one"

Drone 1: "Fair enough, f* him then - carry on as normal"

Free computers?

WTF? How will that help?

Why not just give them the advise in the first place on "guiding them through the rocky shoals of marketing, copyright, and distribution"?

Afterall, a PC is what - £300? And it's very likely they already have one?

I'd stay off the charlie and try and keep up, Pete...mate.

Solar power boom 'unsustainable', says Gov

@ Phoenix

60% of energy is heating? good lord, what sort of techie are you??? :-)

All the tech here are probably running at least 4-5 machines in the house, plus HD TV's etc etc...my electric is DOUBLE my heating.

Mind you, when running an 800W game rig who needs additional heating...

Is it cruel?

Is cruel to laugh at my neighbour who only last week just forked a serious load of wedge getting 10 PV panels fitted to his roof, fully expecting quick pay back?

Time to summon up my best Nelson Muntz impression methinks...

I'm still jealous though. The bastard.

UK.gov threatens to 'pull plug' on smart meter rollout

Focusing on failed government initiatives?

Gahd, she's gonna trawling *a lot* of documents...

Vlingo

Missing features

...no handsfree option and no itunes integration!

Boo - this is the *one* feature I wanted (so I could change tracks/volume hands free while running/cycling).

Maybe in a future version?

Jaguar recalls over 17,600 X-types in the UK

RoTM

Surely the RoTM tagline is required here?

One stealthed signal from the mothership, and all the sleazy jag owners are suddenly doing 100mph on cruise control into the nearest tree.

Simultanously wiping out all amateur golfers, accountants and headmasters in a stroke. Civilsation will collapse. Or maybe not.

Union enraged by secret driverless Tube plan

Volvo avoidance systems

...are fatally flawed.

Fatal for the bikers and cyclists they usually fail at avoiding, at least.

When I rule the world by dictatorship, all volvo's will come equipped with a loudspeaker and will play the jaws theme tune on a loop; and the music's tempo matched to the vehicle speed.

Android upgraded to be more resistant to hack attacks

Cue another fanboi/droidboi slagging match

It won't be long now until both OS's have pretty much identical features that operate nearly identically. But the respective fanbois will still be arguing the virtues of their respective platforms.

Is anyone else reminded of the futurama episode, with Jack Johnson and John Jackson (identical clones) vying for the presidency, using identical but differently worded policies?

Just me? Oh. I should get out more.

El Reg in email address blunder

unsend button = Best...invention...eva...

I'm just left wondering how many companies will claim they own the patent on this, when someone does actually make this practical on normal mail servers (MS exchange's recall facility not included).

Zuckerberg's HTML5 Trojan horse play

T&C's

I suspect they did ask you, and you agreed to it when you clicked 'agree' in the T&C's...

But who can blame you. Most T&C's are the work of Satan; unduly painful, and you sign your soul away....

Dixons stores knock £150 off RIM PlayBook

Oooh

£250 for a flawed, non-3G 7"? Still to high IMO. I still anticipate seeing potential customers flocking to the Kindle.

< £200 + 3G + secure email. That'll be more interesting.

MC Hammer getting into search business

Career path?

What I want to know is...how do you get from baggy pants and pop rap to search engines?

It's hammer time

Deep searching...?

"you can't touch this"

Apple iPhone 4S

@ Craigness 13:47

No...*you* are the troll. Shame you can't see that.

iCloud is 'beta' too...

...or at least it feels like it.

Trying using iworks-with-iCloud in a typical workflow (eg: write a doc in the office on the iMac, and proof-read it on a train with the iDevice). Go on...I dare you.

Seriously, it's a much publicised feature of iCloud...and it doesn't f*ing work with iWork on OS X. I mean, FFS...

My Council Services

I'm moving to your council area...

...mine took 10 months to fix a seriously dangerous load of potholes on the main road to my town that appeared after this winter.

It forced people to either ruin their cars by driving through them, or drive on the wrong side of the road - on a busy A road, that was narrow, and has a blind summit at the end of the potholes. Cycling the same road would have seen you getting sectioned for being f*ing insane.

It attracted 85 complaints within a month of the potholes occuring, most of which deemed the potholes 'dangerous'.

They are are now repaired, and a mere 3 weeks later, the repairs have started to fail already. Just in time for this winter...

the clue is in...

...the .co.uk part of theregister.co.uk.

There is plenty content on here that's specific to .ozzies and .yanks, but you don't hear us complaining about it...

Where is the...

..."Council tax price problem" option?

Bunch of money grabbing/wasting...

DeLorean goes electric for 2013 roll-out

Fixed it for you...

Given it's also American built the handling will be appalling, the ride will be dreadful (especially with a ton of batteries onboard), it will be heavy enough to generate it's own gravity, it will look hideous and will rattle to pieces before 10,000 miles.

Ergonomics...

...don't try to adjust your heater controls while your iphone in plugged in. Lets hope they revisit that before 2013.

I can understand the slowness; 260bhp combined with a reasonable electric range (which is not in the article btw) = massive, heavy battery.

Gartner: Acer's glory days may be over

Apple?

Where does apple fit into all this?

Apple: 4m iPhone 4S handsets sold, thank you very much

iCloud...

....is SHIT.

There. I said it. Downvote me all you like, but you know it's true.

Witness the forehead-slapping lunacy that is iWorks integration...*some* integration with iDevices (as long as you don't want folders or other non-iWorks formats). Out the box, there's diddly-f*ing-squat integration with iWorks on the Mac. Seriously - give it a go. You'll see what I mean.

Seriously...they couldn't make iWorks on the Mac work with iCloud. And iCloud is meant to be *better* ??? It's a bloody beta at best.

Back to the Future DeLorean to go under the hammer

Skitts law...

...in full effect.

Kudos!

I can't help thinking...

...that a Delorean that could actually time travel would net a much higher price...

Samsung demands iPhone 4S ban in Japan and Oz

Interestingly...

...there is a Star-trek pad application for the iPad, so it looks and sounds like a trekkie pad.

Oh wait did I say "interestingly"? What I mean was "oh FFS, there's a what now?"

I'm an apple fan...

...but FFS Apple, look what you've gone and started now.

'Legal innovation' is not the sort of innovation I was expecting from you. Stick to the tech/design/products and have some pride FFS.

Sesame Street YouTube page hijacked by smut pushers

Porn on Sesame street

Yeah, real classy guys.

Way to win public support for whatever the f* you're pushing/selling/claiming.

Now f* off.

OMG! Berners-Lee has an iPhone

I hate...

...the UK tax system. It's a horrible product. But I still use it. I'm not rich enough to 'opt out'...

+1

Agree totally - I too am amazed that people worry about paying for stuff down un-encrypted channels, but are more than happy to email passwords, account details and other confidential data in the clear, through numerous 3rd party servers and networks. Totally mental.

Mind you, to add to this thread, it should be noted that encryption or even simple signing is fraught with technical difficulties, never mind user-related ones.

Hubble snaps dark matter warping spacetime

Mine has..

...dark matter in her shoes - she's adamant the scales read 20kg more than they should.

Dark matter?

Isn't dark matter Niblonian poop?

World+Dog goes bonkers for iPhone 4S

eh???

ok, I'm bias in that I quite like my iPhone, but WTF?

More in an hour than in the whole of 2010...it's only an evolutionary bump in spec, not a brand new phone FFS. How is is possibly selling/pro-ordering so well?

Has someone's not got a decimal point misplaced on the sales spreadsheet or something?

Financial company heavies researcher for reporting vulnerability

This isn't exclusive to First State.

There's a higher chance of seeing a snowball in Hell than seeing <insert company here> admitting the slightest liability for anything in their T&C's.

iOS update woes prompt gnashing of teeth for Apple fans

Akamai

..I believe they've already met, and use their services extensively.

Not sure what your post has got to do with IOS5?

Oh wait - I see the icon now...

PS - 2 x iPhones & 1 iPad done last night...It Just Worked.

And come ICS...

...your android will 'offline' while it gets updated (and that's if your provider allows it...). In the meantime your iPhone and WP7 will be working fine.

Not sure what the point of your post is...?

@ Petur

I'm interested to know how Apple fans don't have a choice? They most certainly do, at the platform and the application level.

They *chose* iphone over other phones; but just because Apple has only 2 models is that deemed a restriction? So be it - look at all the other manufacturers then, FFS. Nobody put a gun to their heads to choose Apple. The phone itself is just a platform at the end of the day.

You also don't *have* to update to the latest IOS either - nobody is forcing you. You want to "choose" to stay on the old version? Knock yourself out.

You want to view/read/listen to your own media on an IOS device? You can. You want to by content elsewhere and upload to the IOS device? Guess what - you can. I don't see a restriction of "choice" there either.

There's also a player for practically every media type in the universe, barring flash - and if you *really* want flash (and it appears not many are that bothered, going by iphones sales figures)? Move to f*ing android then - see holding-gun-to-head statement above. So there's no lock-in there either.

Seriously - this whole Apple lock-in crap is getting really old. You should maybe focus on the issue of content DRM, which is common to both platforms, if that's what you mean by "choice".

This wasn't my issue...

...downloaded just fine, but took over an hour to do it's thing.

Only for it to fail on the restore, and I'm almost left with a paperweight. Back to factory defaults for me...

Sorry apple - loyal fan an' all that - but see icon...

Apple versus Samsung: key points in the ruling

Legal cop out

Pah - read this a bit closer, and the Judge is totally washing her hands of this one.

Her tiny nod to Apple is flimsy at best, and likely to be very overturned with ease.

Losers: Us, ultimately

Winners: Lawyers, always

Gigantic KRAKEN fingered in prehistoric murder mystery

Giggidy

Giant kraken fingered...

Giggidy giggidy