* Posts by Jason Edmunds

16 posts • joined 12 Jun 2007

Thailand bans GTA after video game style murder

Jason Edmunds

He's completely safe...

...as there are no video game stores in GTA iV, never mind owners to shoot.

UK.gov solves pensioner crisis by wiring them up to the net

Jason Edmunds

The (other) obvious answer is...

Ban seatbelts and speed cameras.

They're the blighters that are saving millions of lives every year (allegedly). Get rid of them and you're well on your way.

And lollipop persons and their cameras. Hey, that could save a few quid on education too...

Jason Edmunds

The obvious answer is...

...to legalise euthanasia, and to make sure you get lots of people to sign up, just tax them into suicidal misery.

What? You've already started? Oh, I see...

Iubi Blue personal media player

Jason Edmunds
Paris Hilton

"Blue Personal Media" Player

I saw that in the headline and immediately thought it was a device specially designed for pr0n playback!

Splash resistant maybe? I'm sure a licensing deal could be struck, so it could come with Paris pre-loaded?

TFI Friday.

EDF circles British nuclear powerplant sites

Jason Edmunds

Better stock up on candles then.

So the French are going to take over power generation in the UK?

A sharp increase in candle purchases due to the threat of strike action is going to result in a heavy tax levy on those C02 spewing candlesticks.

Stock up now, that's my advice.

Shell pulls out of Thames Estuary mega-windfarm

Jason Edmunds

Dong Energy

I got plenty of that and (not speaking personally), I see it as a much-wasted resource.

The question is, how are the Danes 'harnessing' it, and can I still ride my bike while 'harnessed'.

Story withdrawn

Jason Edmunds
Paris Hilton

Bleedin obvious...

It's always been this way with some girls. You just look at 'em and you can tell she's a goer. There's nothing new here.

Paris, 'cause you can tell, just by looking.

PS. I can just here the new favourite defence in harrasment cases: She was asking for it your honour, JUST LOOK AT HER!!

James Bond menaced by red hot Chilean

Jason Edmunds

@ Anon

I'm Welsh and they come here and film, flying any flag they like...

...except England, of course.

Mine's sheepskin, obviously.

Dead wife contacts Lancs man via SMS

Jason Edmunds

What network is she on?

I can't get a bloody signal at my desk, never mind from 6 feet under!

How an app called WarmTouch nailed a grenade-stockpiling cyber extortionist

Jason Edmunds

Can you please remove this story...

...before someone from Phorm reads it.

Last thing I need is all my emails being 'profiled' to see what I'm into.

I already get enough emails offering products to enhance that particular activity, thank you very much.

Ofcom says yes on more TV ads

Jason Edmunds

Bring it on...

I've got 2 words for all you advertisers:

Sky Plus.

And can someone please explain how Sky can sell ad time to advertisers (for mucho dinero), then sell equipment to it's customers that allows them to skip all those pesky ads?

Anyone else see a conflict there?

Top security firm: Phorm is adware

Jason Edmunds

Imagine the scene:

I fall for the whole thing and let Phorm monitor my web usage and supply ads related to my surfing habits. Nice. Then the wife gets onto the net for 5 minutes and all she sees is ads for pr0n sites.

Who's she gonna be looking at? Hmmmm? ANSWER THE QUESTION MISTER!!!

Mine's the one that's been slashed and dumped in the garden with everything else I own...

Nine Inch Nails cracks net distribution (maybe)

Jason Edmunds
Paris Hilton


Can I just clarify something here? Without a recording industry absolutely nobody would have the faintest idea who Nine Inch Nails are.

Now that they're popular(ish), they can bite the hand that fed them their success, but who's gonna find the Next Big Thing and work to bring their work to our attention? Who's going to figure out which bands are good enough for people to want to buy their stuff? For those who haven't realised, THIS is the factor that make the difference between 'another band' and 'The Next Big Thing'.

Yes the recording industry needs to get up to date but without it we'll all drown in the vast quantities of trash available online without a filter to organise it.

That filter is 'Which band is good enough to buy?'.

Even Paris could figure that out.

Broadband big boys waiting on data pimping

Jason Edmunds
Thumb Up

I wouldn't mind at all...

...if Orange decided to sell my browsing data for cash, as long as I get the money.

About £17.99 a month ought to cover it.

Online car tax saves planet from carbon hell

Jason Edmunds

Punish the Paperwasting (Welsh) Heathens

So now we can do the tax thing in 2 minutes online AND save the planet AND not get a parking ticket for sticking the car in the only space within 3 miles of the Post Office (which happens to be illegal). Has anyone calculated how many trees were saved in parking tickets alone?

Anyway, this seems to be the first government 'Green' scheme that doesn't save the planet by taking money from my wallet. I assume they do this to roll the notes back into trees?

Anyway, here am I taxing my car online and saving forests left, right and centre but HOLD ON A MINUTE. What about those wasteful bastids willfully squandering our planet by doing it the old way? I fork out approaching £400 a year to tax my 2 unreasonably thirsty cars, by way of punishment for not driving a milk float. I pay HUGE amounts every time I fill up the fuel tanks because I dare to actually drive them. So what terrible punishment is going to be levied on the heathens? I look forward to suitable suggestions...

And without wanting to kick off the whole 'Welsh Hate' movement, living in Wales (as I do), I am FORCED to receive EVERY Government / Local Authority publication in both languages WITH NO CHOICE GIVEN. I mean they actually PRINT EVERYTHING TWICE! As far as I can see we could save a whole load of paper by just banning Welsh, or at least using less.

And before you start, I speak Welsh but I can still read English the same as every other Welsh speaker, so don't waste my time with whatever it is you were going to say.

Google Maps aids terrorists, NY lawmaker warns

Jason Edmunds

I wish I'd thought of that...

Now the terrorists just have to target the blurred bits on Google and they're guaranteed to hit something worthwhile!


Utter Genius.


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