* Posts by Laurent_Z

85 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Jun 2007


Google's Glasses: The tech with specs appeal?

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"vibration-alert digital lightning rod rammed up your arse"

You know what ? I think you have found a nice market there ...

Does it also serve as a personal transportation device ?


(Ok, so you dislike wearing watches... I enjoy posting offensive South Park memes. How do I become a regular ElReg contributor and get paid to speak about it ?)

Buying a petabyte of storage for YOURSELF? First, you'll need a fridge



"Never underestimate the bandwidth of a van full of tapes"

So if it's just a peta of storage and no need for fast access/IO I propose a second hand LTO5 with one drive slot and LTFS, shelves in a cellar and a tape monkey. With the server AND cooling I estimate the power draw at 1KW + bananas for the monkey...

With a good Lego Tape Autoloader you can even automate the process and make some economies on bananas and fire the monkey... (www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzprDvw8rOk)

Segway daddy unveils DIY weight-loss stomach pump


They didn't speak about the B tube.

It goes directly from the hole in you chest to your mouth, so you you can BOTH barf AND recycle.

Help-desk hell


Re: Could you send a copy of your data

Fax of a floppy disk is a good one.

I had an accountant tell me he made regular copies of his floppies for backup. He had a full drawer full of photocopiesof his 5 1/4 disks.

Another one was very organized. He put all his floppies in a three-ring binder.

Of course, for convenience sake he also used the puncher so that he could put his floppies in the rings.

My favorite one was a dear old Direction Secretary. Se just got a brand new PS/2 with the 3 1/2 floppies and complained it wasn't working and she couldn't read her old floppies.

As the 5 1/4 floppies didn't fit she folded it in 4 so it would fit in the 3 1/2 drive...

3G Google Nexus 7 inbound


Ditch the 3G

and just put a microSD slot in the darn thing !

Apple, Microsoft reveal their Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact


Mutual Non agression pact...

Or RIPA style cartel ?

On paper it is just a cross licencing deal, but in practice... it's a cartel of interest that allows to stifle competition...

hey, European Union ! You still have some dibs to sort with Microsoft ? now is a good time to dust them out !

Weeing Frenchman sues Google over Street View photo


Re: How close were the pictures to be so embarrassing?

Yeah, the Vespasiennes


most have been closed, like 99.99%, for years.

They are now closed structures for 1... Officially...

and free to use in Paris...

The Vespasiennes were also known as Pissotieres


Try and translate the french examples given for pissotière, explaning the use in a sentence (nsfw... possibly worse with google translate...) and you will understand, possibly, why they were closed...

iPad 2, iPhone 4S finally jail-broken


So Iphone 5 and Ipad 3 will be announced and/or out within 8 weeks...

I'm not taking any monetary bets, but if you care to remember how it worked in the past ...

Apple Devices always become jailbroken just in time to move latent inventory, usually just before the new model (un-jailbreakable) is out.

Rinse, Repeat : IPaid 8p

Equipping pre-teens with web mobes spreads beyond West


30 per cent of Egyptian children

i call shenanigans...

"30 per cent of Egyptian children reckon their games console is their primary point of access to the internet"


"Penetration and usage

Egypt's Internet penetration rate grew from less than one percent in 2000, to 5% in 2004, and to 24% in 2009.[2] This ranks Egypt 110th out of 203 countries, slightly ahead of its neighbors Lebanon (24%) and Syria (20%) and slightly behind Jordan (26%)"


=> "30 per cent of THE SURVEYED Egyptian children HAVING RICH PARENTS AND BELONGING TO THE MINORITY THAT HAVE INTERNET reckon their games console is their primary point of access to the internet BECAUSE DAD IS BROWSING THE FULL EDITION OF SHAKESPEARE ON THE COMPUTER"

There, corrected that for you

Not sure about the end, but then if you can say in a article that "30 per cent of Egyptian children reckon their games console is their primary point of access to the internet" I for sure can say that most egyptian dads blow off pressure by reading Hamlet...

Just a question, that could explain the discrepency... Was the survey sent by Email, by any chance ?

At least thank you for proving that it is all Lies, Damn Lies,... and Statistics.

Square pushes pay-by-facial recognition


aka Bukakke Card ?

OK, whats the procedure already ? ah, yes. Coat, Door, Meet me at the pub ! 8)

Cops cuff London Apple Store 'scooter raiders'


El Reg going all american ?

Just wondering where this bad habit of giving offenders personal adress comes from ?

Is it an habit in the UK as it is in the US, an new fad in "closer" journalism Id didn't know about or is it just something new you are trying ?

They are not sex offenders, and some of them still minor (no adresses for minors, I see)....

BOFH: Where's my free fondleslab?

Paris Hilton

You own me a new Ipad2 for that

One can try, isn't it ?

Win 8 haters are just scared of change, say MS bosses

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"just scared of change, "

Yep, that I am...

Ever since I saw what happened after I upgraded my old and trusty 3.11 for Workgroups, ever since I had to let go of MS Word 2.0, I have been afraid to discover WHAT NEW STUPID HOOPS I'LL HAVE TO JUMP THRU TO ACHIEVE THE SAME THING AS YESTERDAY.

And no, I didn't reach 40 yet. And don't get me started on ribbon menus and Windows Me....

Italian white van man nudges sound barrier


Guiness Book of Records !!!

As the picture from a speed camera managed by state is legally considered a formal proof, I suggest he sends his fine to the Guiness Book of Records :)

Yorks cops bust Bradford guinea pig farm


Look here Anonymous Guy

There is a part of capitalism that is not that discussed, and that is price equilibrium vs Taxes.

Whenever taxes reach a certain point there is an incentive in doing without them.

Like @ 10% tax the risk is so much higher than the gain.

@ 20%tax you can already guess that you can both sell your wares 20%less that your counterparts, but if you play 'nice' you just sell at street price and keep the taxes for you, and as you are not selling at less than street price you are almost golden as no one sees anything (except from the tax dude.)

Now can you remind me of the level of tax on cigarettes ?

You want to kill grey market on ciggies or alcohol ? make them affordable in the legal market. QED.

LG uncloaks six-foot 3D TV


NEws from Ivory Coast

Dear Sir,

I find myself in a troubled situation as the treasury of Ivory Coast is in trouble thiese days.

As you know there has been some politician dissention in our country and w find ourselves in a difficult situation : we ordered for our new convention center a LZ9700 and we cannot issue the last payment for delivery... Would it be possible for you to intervene as an intermediary in hte situation and assure for us the last payment ? We would of course largely compensate you for taking this financial step in our favor :According to the rules usually found in such a situation, you will receive a 14" 3dLCD as soon as I receive the 72"...


Lauren...(DUH) Your friendly at the minister of spending

Ivory Coast,


(/Note, yes, the spelling is intentional, as we respect all international conventions for such things)

Anonymous hackers' Wikileaks 'infowar' LATEST ROUNDUP


I differ in opinion somehow...

Mostly because after playing "by the rules" for quite long (and being serially an*l raped as a consequence) I find it quite refreshing that "The People" can use the same tactics as our revered underlords (FUD, Eliminate opposants, if discrediting them is not sufficient, etc....) and get some traction because of it...

EU telecoms to Apple, Google: 'Pay up!"


They just have to argument the other way around ...

Hey Telefonica, are those MY BITS travelling on your network ? you do of course have a licence to distribute OUR BITS, of course ? And it would look SO BAD if you were the only ISP not the provide access to Google/Apple/Facebook/Sex.com (remove accordingly to boss/wife/etc presence).

Here, sign there, and don't forget our monthly payment plan option....

(aka "Supermarket without Coca Cola syndrome". Which created some interesting lawsuits later on...)

Vulture One spaceplane NOW AIRBORNE!

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Just saw it drop 8)

Balise gone from 70 000 feet to 66 000 feet in a matter of minutes, so I think it released...

Smart meters pose hacker kill-switch risk, warn boffins

Jobs Horns

simply turning off ? ... nahhh

The trick would be to quickly turn on and off the power 10 or 20 times in a row before cutting it.

Not only you deprieve ppl from electricity, but most of their old (and not so old) hardware wil probably die in the process...and they'll never know about it until power is restored.

(/me turns in his sleep and dreams 'My name is Bofh, James Bofh')

US legalizes jailbroken iPhones


Dear Steve....

Could you now release a jailbreak for ios 4.0.1 (oldboot) on 3gs ?

(Mine is the one with the two large ipad pockets on te side)

Hoodies swipe bus for YouTube joyride


Paris, France

In Paris we had a transportation company for the last

100+ year, so they gor time to organise

According to the driving rulesn a bus has the priority, so if he pulls out of the stop you HAVE to stop to let him go.

Alos there is a regulated sanction list for the driver. For instance a grievous accident where they actually destroyed the other vehicle is charged to the the driver.... about 2€ per month for one year.

killint a pedestrian is 3€. getting late at the station is up to 5€ fine....

So... When I'm moving in Paris... I take the bus 8)

Middle-aged sex is crap: Official

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Hey, read it all...

It's a study on...married couples...

The counter study should be made in a place like Pattaya, where at 45 you are a young springy buck getting ready for the second threesome of the day...

Up, because the article is already full of downess

Judge to movie studios: Why shouldn't I dismiss piracy lawsuits?


Let's see ...

The Steam Experiment (2009) More at IMDbPro »

User Rating: 4.2/10 1,131 votes »

Hmmm, I quite like the notion that they want the identities of the downloders to compensate them for the 90 minutes or so they lost of their lifes spent watching a piece of crap.

Botnet pierces Microsoft Live through audio captchas


F r e e . P o r n !

Sign me in ! ^_^

Well, some people gave their system password for chocolate not long ago, so why not some other stupid losers give their financial information for porn ?

It angle : Was there any chocolate bar fetishes in the proposed porn ? 8p

BOFH: The PFY Chronicles part 2



I started thinking bofh was all over...

Thx simon !

Google execs protest Italian guilty verdicts


Down's Syndrom...

(/rant)Can we all please stop using thi Down's Syndrom appelation and start saying Trisomy 21 again ?

I mean is it out of political correctness or just plain dumb "don't know what it is but it sure souds cooler than Trisomy", but ppl are using the appelation more and more.

Or maybe it is obfuscation, like "nahh, it's nothing, he just has Down's syndrom" which must be very different from "excuse him/her, he/she is a trisomic".


Steve Jobs uncloaks the 'iPad'

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Good god !

Jesus Tablet seems interesting.

If the change rates keep up between Euro and Dollar (1.4 last I checked), that makes it close to 600€...Twice more than my Sony PRS-505 when I bought it...bit pricey...

Lets wait until blackrain can unjail it 8)

No camera, btw...

Popcorn Hour C-200

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got one also

I didn't want to go to the trouble of building a good media pc.

Bit expensive, interface not yet on par with a XBMC, still some problems with large mkv and DVD isos.

One solution is to "downgrade" the gigabit link to 100 Mb, and it seem to solve most problems.

Except for that, I'm very happy with this piece of kit.

Navy's £1bn+ destroyers set to remain unarmed for years

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Your new Ads... Shell invasive screen thing


Out of respect (and because I know that's how you earn money) I never put up an ad-blocker when reading the Reg.

Now I have this annoying Shell as that increase in size whenever my mouse pointer goes above it.

So I have nothing against ads at el Reg. And I even click on them whenever it is of interest to me (and sometime even when I am just only barely interested).

But an ad that takes half a page just because I moved my mouse over is a bit too much....

Blu-ray Players


Not a "straight" BD player but...

have a go ant try the Popcorn Hour C200.

Basically, it's a Home media Player with a "hole" for a PC BD player and a 2.5" hdd.

It has read almost everything I could present it (with the limitation that mkv files only play right with SMB and not with Upnp), has a wealth of connectivity, a RF remote, a nice user community...

Only problem is that they will be losing YouTube at the beginning of December, as Google removed access to their API to all but the major set top box players.

BTW, how come I didn't hear about it from you hacks ?Is that not noteworthy, that the "Do no Evil" company is squeezing the little players out ? here, have a go at it here :


(Disclaimer : you might have wrote about it and could have missed it. Nevertheless ! 8p)

Fisker e-sportster debuts on infamous Laguna Seca circuit


A new name for the sporster !

Frisker "Sedate" ?

Looks as fun t drive as a first price Logan...

Anyone has an idea of what the competition looks like @ 84K$ ?

How to hack a Sony Reader

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PRS-505 - Best ebook reader yet...

I have the mentioned sony prs-505, and it has been my best friend for travel and commuting, on a par with the ipod and pretty girls.

There are also some linux scripts allowing you to transform "automagically" any manga in a rar or cbr form to a pdf. You can just add them to your Nautilus scripts folders and have them available on any folder with a right click.

I'm currently holding almost 1000 titles in the my reader, with lots of mangas and ALL of the Nebula and Hugo awards since their inception.

Only hack that is still missing is a specific logo for books you aleady read. With close to 1000 titles in it, even if you remember the story you sometime forget that you already read that title...

Ah, yes. Being GSM/Wifi less, the books I have are there to stay, barring an sd card / reader disfunction....

Medical cannabis app rolls out on iPhone


Reefer Madness !

I love this movie. The courage of this man, marijuaned to the gills, and he can still stand up to kill people, when a normal smoker would just let it drop because it is too much hassle to get up...

BTW, you should know that in Spain, Switzerland and some parts of Germany it is legal to buy. In Switzerland they actually have coffe-bars, but you can only buy if you have a Switz National ID. One more incentive, it seems.

Riot police raid birthday barbecue for 'all-night' Facebook tag

Jobs Horns

Swatting ? So Old School !

Now you just have to announce the "all night" birthday party of your Nemesis on FaceBook...

Hefty 'battle strength' electro-laser breaks 100kW barrier


okay Lewis, you're the biggest geek !

Sharks with head mounted lasers are not enough for you, it has to be sharks with 100KW, Battle tank wrecking lasers !

Friggin'upgrade freek ! 8)

Toshiba wows crowds with sexy touch smartphone


darn other posters ! shut up :)

Please, stop pestering my reading time with "Put Android on It" memes

Look, if they do it right, it's :

a multitouch Iphone-like

with camera

where you can install tomtom

and use a gazillion other pre-existing softs

that you can sync with Linux

and that has a 1GHz low power cu.

If they do it wrong, it's just another p.o.s.

if they do it right I'll take one.

Now could please all shut up with your "Android it" / "Uuugh! Windows mobile" / "Gahhhh ! No Keyboard :" and let me dream in peace about the replacement for my n95 ? ( "Uuugh! Symbian !")

/me is taking his coat to browse facebook in the pub...

US only kidding about 'clear to fly' January deadline?

Jobs Horns

Going there soon...

I just love the security check they have you fulfill.

One major difference with the old "paper" edition is that they didn't ask me if I was a member of the communist party. Seem they don't care anymore.

One addition I didn't encounter before is the part about abducting a child whose guard was given to a US citizen. What sort of problems does this country have ?

There is the part asking me if I abuse drugs. I answered no, as I just use them.

Also they ask if I was already refused a visa, if I was extradited from the US, or if I spent more that 5 years in prison. If you don't know, I'm not telling, guys...

And it's only at the end of the document that you hereby agree not to ask for asylum, not to search a job in the US, and that even if you answered honestly/perfectly the custom officer at the arrival airport can refuse your entry... Great ! 8 hours in second class to be told that you can go back the same way ! As my ticket is not changeable/not refundable, does it mean I'll spend 10 days in the International part of the airport ?

As you can see, I'm anxious to get there, even if it is for technical training.

Any government funded anal probing will be fully documented.

I really want to see the El'Reg Playmobile reconstitution 8)

Plod hopes Bluetooth messages will stem drinking

Gates Horns

those drinking themselves to death

"proportion of those drinking themselves to death in Edinburgh have their Bluetooth phones set to discoverable -"

...and possibly already driving, will open their mobile to read that new message, thus endangering both themselves, other drivers and humble passerbys...

Also there is a law against spamming my mobile without my prior consent and abusing communication means (unwanted mail or something or another closely connected, for some reasons, with canned beef).

Tags for this post : Hell / Good Intentions / Meeting.

Honeywell's Kitchen Computer remembered

Paris Hilton

Anything newer ?

As I just remade the electric circuits at home I also installed R45 outlets in every room, including one in the kitchen.

So has anyone tips on an affordable touchscreen computer for the kitchen ?

Hackable systems welcome, Audrey computers maybe a bit too old, HP Touchsmart maybe a bit too expensive...I also have Wifi available, but WAP only.

Internet searches stimulate brain more than books

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"same same, but different"

Go to your favorite couch, open a book, read it. what do you use actively ?

Mosty your eyes, and a finger or two every minute or so, for what is mostly a passive data reception activity.

Go to your favorite chair. launch firef*x, search for something of interest. what do you use actively ?

Mostly your eyes, a finger or two every minute or so - remember : article is about oldies -55 to 76 yo 8)

And your memory to remember what you were searching for, and your analytical skills to sort the result, and your decison making process to choose between the many results, for what is mostly an active data seeking activity.

Same same. but different.

Thanks very much to that bunch of scientists that used grants/budget, thousands of euro of hardware and occupied a bunch of people for what they could have deducted in about 5 minutes of light pondering.

Ah, sorry. It's science ! Proof ! Irrefutable evidence that is supporting what was merely ... evident ! Poor dumb me 8p

OpenOffice.org welcomes gatecrashers to version 3.0 orgy

Paris Hilton


Hey, there is a party.

We won't tell you where, what are the conditions, and we announce that gatecrashers are welcome !

Is The Reg turning into Slashdot ? why should we RTFA from another website when we have TheReg to tell us all about it ?...



On the 13th of October 2008, the OpenOffice.org community will have released OpenOffice.org 3.0. This day is also the eighth anniversary of the foundation of the largest Free and Open Source project. Join us for a great celebration on the evening of the 13th of October at the Region Ile-de-France's center, in downtown Paris.


Monday, the 13th of October, from 19:30 (7:30 pm) till 22:OO (10:00 pm)


In order to attend the OOo 3 Launch Event in Paris, you have to register by entering your first and last name, followed by a valid email address.

Registration is free and everyone is welcome within the limits of available room. [Register here!]=>http://surveytest.services.openoffice.org/surveys/index.php?sid=29527


In one of the nicest part of Paris, France, close to the Musée Rodin.

Address: Région Ile-de France, 33 rue Barbet de Jouy, 75007 Paris

Metro (Subway): Line 13, station Saint François-Xavier, Line 12: Rue du Bac

Bus: 92, 82, 84, 83, 63

More information can be found here.=>http://www.ratp.fr/

A Google Map is also available. =>http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=fr&geocode=&q=OOo3+Launch+Party&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=38.502405,93.164063&ie=UTF8&z=4


Now, if I had mod points 8p

Net Suicide Bill would breathe life into government censorship


Maybe it's an urban legend, but

wasn't it the UK that had, in the seventies, a law that punished failed suicide attemps by ... a sentence of death ?

Nokia's next-gen Linux-based net tablet to incorporate HSDPA


@Michel Vangeel : IR/RF

I totally agree with the need for a STRONG ir component on the next tablet.

I didn't buy the last one because it couldn't become the universal remote of my dreams. Mostly because of the IR lack.

And I don't speak about a 50cm module, I would strongly urge them to get a 8-10 meters transmitter... or a 8-10 meters plugin accessory, which didn't exist for the 810 either.

For the rest, having a small, light tablet where I can browse the net, check my mail, bring with me in the kitchen to read the recipe, and possibly use as the base commander for my future home automation project and/or as vnc to the home server was a nice hope/idea.

Let's hope they make it modular, and we can replace the 3G module with an IR/RF one...

Can CDP render backup redundant?


"Bare-Metal" Restore from tape...

The usual "bare-metal" restore from tapes is in fact not bare-metal :

->install base OS from ghost

-> install backup server agent

->(reboot, never hurts)

->restore from tape

Which is more or less exactly what you'll have to do with CDP or disk to disk backup.

Real difference is that tapes cannot beat disk to disk restore for speed...yet...

Intel stuffs Nehalem chips with joy

Jobs Horns

Ohhhh, more cores !

Can I now please also get a compiler (linux compatible, I don't do windows) that will allow me to magically transform all my "one-thread" softwares to miraculously multithreaded apps ?

(Can someone also definetly forbid this technology to all Gentoo fanboys ? Yes, I want to make faster divx encodes and the like, but I'm not beyond seeing Geentoo's EmErgE fanboyz suffer needlessy...)

>Steve, because he would be proud of me<

Divorce for shouty YouTube wife

Gates Horns

His ex-wife was {...} restrained

See how too many words in a sentence make us forget the nice part in it ?

Asus Eee PC storms Euro PC maker chart


Yeah, but

where the hell can I buy my EEPC 901 Linux ? Azerty keyboard if possible, as it is for my parents, but just finding it is a problem....

Google preps conflict of interest-tastic web analytics tool


Darn RSS feed !

Rss title was quite different .... : "Google preps conflict of interest-tastic web anal" was much more interesting.

Mine is the black latex one with the handcuffs in the back.

Flirty texting could land Scots in jail for 10 years



There goes my SMS based Hooker ring ....Ehhh Escort institution