Posts by Disco-Legend-Zeke

Boeing backs biofuel boffinry

In The Long...

...run, biofuels reduce to a subset of solar collection.

It's good to see serious investment in boffinry put to the task.

Water utility hackers destroy pump, expert says

And They Want To Build...

...giant orbiting solar panels beaming microwaves at targe^H^H^H^H antenna farms on earth.

Why is my beer so warm?

Results in on why life, the universe and everything exists

...And, You Know, Everything. or Yin Yang Redeaux.

1. In the beginning, there were only photons.

2. They were compressed into a firecracker the size of a pinhead.

3. These compressed photons inflated into proper photons.

4. There was not enough space for all the photons, so they orbited around each other forming into all manner of quarks and their antimatter counterparts, destroying each other, and reforming .

5. As we can see from cosmic background images, these processes did not proceed uniformly.

CONJECTURE: That certain patterns favored the creation of right handed matter.

Amazon's Kindle Fire burns iPad momentum

It Has Rounded Corners...

...I smell lawsuit.

Men most likely to friend dodgy Facebook strangers

Sounds Like Pretty...

...good odds to me.

Boffinry summit names 3 new elements

If You Were Ever There...

...you would spell it "Arkanswamp."

It's time to end the Windows Wait

I Have Lighting Fixtures That...

...take longer to start up.

Anonymous threatens Mexican drug cartel

Guns Are Illegal, Yet...

...40,000 people killed in Mexico by the war on drugs.

It is USA pot prohibition that creates the multi billion dollar marketplace.

Just to keep this in perspective, 225,000 AMerkins die annually due to physician errors, drug side effects, hospital infections, etc.

Prohibition...

...when they tried it for alcohol the end result was the creation of murderous gangs.

What ever made the government think it would come out better for any other drug?

How to pipe live telly into your pocket with 4G

It' About The...

...battery.

Device makers need to catch up to the battery demand for streams.

...usage caps. Carriers need to deliver bandwidth with realistic consumption pricing.

Wholesale prices for delivery are below 50 cents per GB, and flat rate mega bandwidth is available in many QWEST-now-Century Link cities with no build charge within 1500 ft of existing fiber node.

Screen size matters a bit also, especially after a pint or two.

Machine translation cracks 18th century occult cipher

Bit level, actually.

" while a cipher operates at a character level."

More Importantly, a cipher scrambles lorries full of informational eggs together into one bowl instead of remapping each Easter egg.*

Most applicably, beer** scrambles useless thought.

* in my **

Since It Is a Secret Language...

...the tools of translation were successful.

As JD implied, other tools would be more appropriate for ciphers.

For pictograms, you need beer.

Feds nab granny in moon rock sting

Back In The Day...

...there was a complete Apollo mission for sale.

One of my customers proposed buying it and running a commercial flight to bring back moon rocks for sale.

Say 20 kilos of rocks @2 million per speck.

That's a lot of beer.

No licence required: Ofcom sets bandwidth bundle free

Like Wi-Fi Brand Bands...

...strict licensing standards for hardware makers should mollify spectrum neighbors.

The free public bands are the most profitable to a government due to increased productivity and taxes on gear.

Leo DiCaprio slated to play Turing in biopic

"Tortured Genius"

It comes with the territory.

Haven't you noticed that stupid people are happier than you?

Beer, getting people stupid enough to be happy since 9500 BCE.

Bog builder pushes out poo-powered motorbike

Gas Powered Car...

...features 12 taco holders and six butt plugs.

Apple's US bid to ban Samsung tabs hinges on design

IBM Used...

...the cutoff corner on tabulating (Hollerith) cards back in the electromechanical days.

So Just...

...change the upper-right-hand corner from rounded to polygonal. This (patentable?) feature would differentiate it from the competition, and allow the user to orient the device in the dark.

A quick pass on the sander would upgrade existing stock while molds were being modified.

Intel mad for power, but stacked-up dies keep MELTING!

As The Lab Boys...

...are finding out, the real challenge to vertical assembly is thermal management.

It's much easier with beer, just drink it before it gets too hot.

BOFH: Where's my free fondleslab?

A Friend...

...repairs ancient DOS machines because the software, which controls elevators for a NYC skyscraper, won't run on any other hardware.

He also maintains video walls by noted Korean artist Nam June Paik.

Did a Seagate sales bloke just say 5TB drives are coming?

And One Of...

...the three places should be in another city.

AOL demos the human-free datacenter

I Would Have...

...nightmares featuring unemployed PFYs roaming the streets like extras in a George Romero movie.

Genetics and technology make Columbus Day a fraud

Um.

"... fairy story, but that hasn’t stopped the Church..."

When has mere truth ever stood in the way of the religion business?

Laptop shoots spike into owner's hand

Did It...

...Transform into a walker first?

Be sure power is off before talking trash about your computer.

Samsung, Micron bake 3D chips for next-gen RAM

Cool!

That's the issue; how to cool the darn thing.

Steelie Neelie stares down telcos over fibre sharing

This Is Why...

...us 'merkins want to dismantle Wall Street.

Alibaba! wants! to! be! Yahoo! purple! prince!

Yahoo! Is! Clueless!

They would certainly benefit from a fresh management team.

Bo Peep insures jubs for $1m

She Is Not Topless...

...her breasts are covered. By Lloyd's of London.

Now you know why i choose to live in Vegas.

Reebok used 'very fit woman' in buttock-related deception

Maybe They...

...could outsource the funds distribution to Nigeria.

Spotify tethers future to Facebook

Lichen.

Using a social site as anchor takes a huge CRM load off any service provider.

And the service provider brings specialized services.

It's a symbiosis, you just need to pick out the right fungus.

Virtual cloud monkeys go bananas writing Shakespeare

Monkeys Are More Fun...

...when you give them footballs.

Google unfurls Dead Sea Scrolls

Commentard Humor Original Postings...

...were lost when the Breighton Beach Bath House was razed.

No one thought to preserve the bathroom stall walls, where they were scratched.

CERN's boson hunters tackle big data bug infestation

Is There Somewhere To Place...

...a small wager on this?

Gravity, and it's twisted twin centrifugal force, are mediated by the structure of the photon and the nature of spacetime. There is no Higgs Boson. Sorry.

At least beer was detected earlier.

Adobe rushes out emergency fix for critical bug in Flash

Flash Update...

...succeeded for IE, but when i tried to upgrade the chrome browser, which is running ...7 i get the following:

"Your Google Chrome browser already includes Adobe® Flash® Player built-in. Google Chrome will automatically update when new versions of Flash Player are available. "

Boffins step closer to steam-powered Babbage computer

Would Be Fun...

...to load the dimensions into a proper CGI rendering engine.

We should be able to see the virtual Babbage machine in action. Perhaps degubbing prior to physical build.

Self-planting plant discovered in Brazil

Other...

...plants do this also. The one that comes to mind is the peanut.

One of my favorites for seed distribution strategy is the Bird of Paradise. As they dry, the seed pods build up torque, which is suddenly released with a loud popping sound, flinging the seeds up to 10 meters.

US survey: 1 in 5 telecommuters work an hour or less a day

Take My Wife...

...please!

Nigerians panic over killer calls

A Friend...

told me that he made a few mods to a cell phone so that sending a code during a call would detonate a small charge.

This was several years ago, and ISTR it worked, killing a terrorist.

LOHAN deluged with Reg readers' interjections in REHAB

Gravity Might...

...carry burning bits from the squib to the propellant grain in the configuration shown, giving a false positive test.

This is probably not a big enough issue to require the additional complications of inverting the test chamber.

Got a non-iPad tablet? Weirdo

Only If You Lost...

...your Bluetooth headset.

LOHAN eyes hardcore partner's impressive girth

Building An In House Hypobaric...

...facility would save a lot of travel. Suitable test chambers can be added at scrap metal prices to primary investment in pumps and valves, plus a nice SCADA to run it all. The altitude sensors need to be developed. And it would be REALLY cool to have a Hypobaric Wind tunnel.

Sponsors can get advertising space on the gear (around your logo, of course.)

There is no need to get a long burn for ignition testing I am sure the motor manufacturer would be happy to supply short burning motors in return for test data.

There are chemical mixtures that are insulators until burned. If you are using electronic controls, adding electronic flame sensors along the propellant grain burn would give proof of ignition as well as end of burn detection to initiate other features such as wing deployment.

Paris because there would not be a LOHAN without her.

LOX Makes Most Things...

...explode.

On the other hand, Liquid Nitrogen is safe enough to store in a Styrofoam coffee cup.

Glow-in-the-dark kittens to help produce cure for AIDS

Judging By Star Trek...

...green girls are hot.

And, after a few beers, they're all green.

French officials: 'Don't worry about fatal nuclear explosion'

Alternate

...Fatal Explosion "Not Dangerous."

Rubbing an iPhone on your face won't cure acne - FTC

Google Says*...

...acne treatment light is about 420** nano-meters. Several manufacturers now produce LED's at this wavelength.

The latest in stage lighting uses them in 7-color LED instruments. They are also popular in overpriced medical lamps.

Yes, Herby, you could find violet paint chips, and make a reflector, But a filter*** would be more comfortable, and could be worn in sunlight or used over wide spectrum "actinic" lamps.

IANAD, but the best treatment for acne is to express sebum from healthy skin and spread it on skin and lips. I often use "nose oil" as an emergency lubricant for metal and plastic.

* By making a link to Wikipedia.

** Another victory for the pot lobby.

*** You could also ingest colloidal silver until your skin turned blue. Since this is not reversible, not recommended unless you want to pursue a career appearing at Star Trek conventions.

Yahoo! 'f**ked me over'! says! Carol! Bartz!

"But I Meant DOOFUS...

..in a good way."

Early Earth’s ‘golden shower’

Can We Backtrack And...

...locate a few of these gold asteroids?

Shareholder demands RIM sell itself or spin off patents

Everybody's Shares...

...perform worse than Apple or Google.

French bloke fined for failing to shag missus

In Most...

...USA states, you cannot force your spouse to have sex, but not giving it up is grounds for divorce.

Single-molecule 'motor' measures just a nanometer

Those orange things are basketballs, Right?

Just trying to get a sense of scale.