Posts by Rentaguru

Plod wants your PC? Brick it with a USB stick BEFORE they probe it

They already use usbsticks

To plant incriminating evidence on computers, just watch their shifty little fingers near USB ports when they are supposedly searching. Anyone who trusts the police is quite mad.

Yorkshire cops fail to grasp principle behind BT Fon Wi-Fi network

pmsl

Oh this makes up for the annoying knuckle dragger

Station to station: Ten DAB-Bluetooth combo radios

price?

These are radios ffs anything over 19.99 is overpriced.

I have a little black cube usn rechargeable 7.99 from tesco....it works and I wasn't charged 50 times the cost of the bits.

Anyone buying any of the reviewed items should be sectioned

Report: Apple returned 8M shoddy iPhones to Foxconn

Annoying innit

When they put the decimal point in and your comment is then pointless!

O2 tries something completely new: Honesty

I don't see it

How does the division described tell us anything. It just shuffles the subsidy into which ever part they want to look good.

Google's 'power to switch off the lights in Europe' has 'chilling effect' - rivals

Price comparison sites

Oh come on since google cracked down on price comparison sites its results are usable again. It had got to the stage where the damn things were filling the first few paves of results so you had to dig to get a useful result.

I couldn't care what google does provided there are no price comparison sites in the first 10 pages of my search results. As to advertising adword results etc google makes it easy to ignore thus and i don't recall ever clicking on one.

Hold on! Degrees for all doesn't mean great jobs for all, say profs

Re: Not news@Rentaguru

Hold on - I'm not attacking his sexuality merely his cowardice in not being honest.

Not news

Back in '80 when less than half the sixth form at my state grammar (yes there was still a few selective state grammars around even that late) it was perfectly obvious that perhaps 20% of those then going to university would benefit from it and even less to the extent that it would improve their contibution to society.

Given that even then we were obviously wasting resources over-educating 4 out of 5 who went to university it follows that even if you exclude all the ex-polys reform schools prisons etc that have been allowed university status that these days 49 out of 50 university places are wasted.

Oh yeah I went to Pembroke Oxford on a full grant .... at the right time to personally observe william hague's discomfort around women and his refusal to come out as he should! The only real benefit was it taught me the arrogance necessary to make others believe the world is mine.

Mines the one with your lunch in my pocket.

Yahoo! makes Brit teen app maker VERY RICH with Summly buy

Re: Oh dear

Not half as much as you dear boy. I take it you are one of the moron types that think a three word summary of a serious new article is useful. One of the 99.999% I think. Quite why you view my justified contempt of those with short attention spans as angry is beyond me.

Oh dear

Yahoo that expert spotter of future trends buys an app designed for small screens just as mobile screens get up to hd standards. Just as the sane elements of society realise the net result of 5 second attention spans is the sort of society that weapons of mass destruction were designed to eliminate yahoo buys an app that summarises the daily mail sidebar of shame to the shorter tits oot for t'lad.

As far as I can see this is an app for those with adhd written by some moron with terminal autism bought by a company that has never got anything right. An the idiot has let his parents get their hands on his money through some stupid trust arrangement. To prove his position in the shallow end of the gene pool he thinks it clever to work for yahoo while is parents blow it all on threesomes with teenage russian whores.

The only reason any normal guy would associate with yahoo is to get sufficient money to snort coke while indulging in some traditional english bdsm inflicted on teenage redheaded, green-eyed irish or scots ladies of commercial morality while reading war and peace or some similar long winded mind enriching literature.

Why in an age when 99.999% of the population are quite frankly stupid the media are impressed that some youth mentally crippled by autism can sell an application designed to bring the already stupid to his level of social isolation to a company that burns money like a cypriot bank isn't surprising.

Still this sort of collective stupidity gives me hope that the useless 99.999% of the species will self-destruct and leave the remaining 700,000 of us to live in peace.

Touch screens and greasy mitts: All you need is glove

Re: Lidl

Those dont have a ballpoint at one end like the lidl ones do they? However the poundland ones with the hard rubber wedge are more accurate than the blob ones

Lidl

Do pens like those wankcom ones .... 1.99 each.

AdBlock Plus BLOCKED from Google Play

Ah much better

El reg is so much better without the ads. I know that I'm taking food from the mouths of starving baby journalists but the ads have got too intrusive of late and adaway works .... after ridding myself of the proxy in the 3g apn. It's the internet like it used to be until google ads spoilt it for everyone!

Mines the one with the journos pay packets overflowing the pockets!

Bacon sarnies can kill: Official

Ffs

Beyond doubt the number of suicides from a baconless life is far in excess of the deaths from bacon.

Safety authorities to hold hearings into Boeing 787's battery woes

Shurely

One of those boondoogle military subsidy planes boeing uses to unfairly compete with airbus has a suitable battery developed at huge expense that can be used. What the idiotz forgot to charge the pentagon for a beeeellion dollar battery for the 787. Boeing's dead if they can't remember how to cheat properly!

Incoming comet will probably miss Mars, says NASA

who is running the book

on the odds of this being another outbreak of the longstanding jinx on Mars Ianders?

shroomcloud for the trillion megatonne strike!

LHC spots mesons flipping between matter and antimatter

nothing to show

oh come on what's this www thingy we're using here .... direct from particle physics.

Strategic SIEGE ROBOTS defeated by 'heavily intoxicated' man, 62

obviously the rules of engagement

were wrong. Preserving fleshy bits should be a much lower priority.

EU web chief: Europe's slow on 4G, but 5G GLORY WILL BE OURS

Wtf do i want 5g for

I mean the only application for 4g is watching video and 99.999% of that is the circus element of giving the great unwashed bread and circuses. Nope 3g serves me nicely and 4g and 5g only serve to provide entertainment for the plebs rather than doing something sensible with the excess population like gassing them. Maybe if the next gen phones included an electrocute user function then i could see a momentary need for 5g bandwidth to send around 9billion "do it now" commands.

World+Dog don't care about climate change, never have done

Nah

Can't say I give a sweet fa about the economy either if need be I can rough it on the Queen's swans and homebrew cider. If only they had a free-to-air auction chanel where each day we the public could select one politician at 9am and the method of his torture and death to be broadcast live from 10am to 10pm then I'd be as happy as a pig in sheeet.

Trouble is the gene pool is so weak new ones would be born faster than they'd be convinced politicking was wrong by my humane methods so as an alternative I suggest we all go bag one for the bonfire this year.

Mines the one with the attache cape with the hemp noose.

Apple patents situational awareness for oblivious fanbois

Something that puzzles me ....

Given that a current generation phone has sensors for almost everything why is it that the one missing is temperature? I find it annoying that my phone can tell me what brand of columbian marching powder I snorted three months ago by grabbing the hairs i shed and analysing them but it can't tell me whether the heroin citric acid mix is too hot to put into a needle.

Lets see

My dated galaxy note 2 ..... responds to ambient light having a hand waved nesr it can measure length by moving it between two points knows where the f... it is and responds to being shouted at and can do all sorts of clever sheeet if you turn it over or wave it all about ..... I guess this means apple are going to run that patent through a tardis and sue samsung again.

New social network is for DEAD PEOPLE

That's naughty

Just because 99.99% of facebook accounts set up have long gone silent doesn't mean the users are dead. It just means all the reminders they get from facebook get marked as spam!

Wi-Fi hotspots, phone masts: Prepare to be assimilated by O2's Borg

Huh tell me i'm an idiot

If you must but my cheap cheerful and horribly dated galaxy note2 finds o2 and bt wireless hotspots connects and seamlessly continues browsing over wifi that was being done over mobile networking and then back as I walk around.

So explain what o2 is doing that my phonebrick* doesn't already do. It even manages to switch torrents between wifi and mobile broadband both ways too without screwing up.

* a better word than phablet!

Twin brothers nabbed for scrap over sex with 'shared' girlfriend

This reminds me

I once dated two sisters and very nice it was too. Except the occasion I choose to comment during a particular oral engagement the factually correct "your sister does it better". This resulted in a chomping action and extreme discomfort in the nether regions.

I have since avoided critical appraisal of the fair sex while their teeth are positioned round my willy.

I'll get my coat .... the one with the steel condom in the pocket!

Polaroid plans retail Fotobars to print out your pics

Anything

That stops people using insta-sodding-wotsit is good. Now if it makes them pause for a instant (sic) before posting their rubbish on facewotsit then it might stop humanity drowning in its own stupidity.

Graphene plus molybdenum oxides yields faster electronics

That's just dead skin

and a pile of worms.

The things transportees will pretend to do "science" with!

That's Osbourne's 50mill wasted then

When will these idiot government types learn that the backing winners lark has about the same chance of striking gold as winning the lottery. Our idiot chancellor finally coughs up a pittance to fund research and lo we've been trumped by fosters drinking, kangeroo bothering, sheila ignoring excuses for scientists who peed on the wonder material and made it even more amszing

Ten digital radios to suit all budgets

this is radio

Worth nothing more than a £19.99 jobbie from asda. I suppose the idiots actually paying 249 are the same fools who think we need more radio than radio 4, test match special and world service.

Now Apple wants Samsung S III, Galaxy Notes off the shelves too

Re: You are kidding right? Or maybe you meant to use the joke icon?

Actually the prior art pre-dates post-genocide america ..... I had a look at Hadrian's wall over the summer and when it wasn't raining I remarked to the insignificant other on the remarkable design of the Roman forts - rectangles with rounded corners!!!!!

Intel adding wireless power sharing for smartphones and laptops

Re: So on the one hand...

it exists - I have several but I leave all the switches in the on position

'Sex and the female brain are connected' - shock discovery

Re: so....

it seems your experience with cows and llamas is somewhat more than mine!

so....

those that spit rather than swallow loose out on my contribution to their happiness!

just getting a hankie to wipe the spit off!

Life on Mars found – in 1976

darned unfortunate

That it's gone extinct in the years since .... such a bugger we missed life on Mars by a mere 34 years plus however long it's going to take us to actually get boots on the ground.

Asda knocks out Kobo e-reader for £49

Well I got a Kobo touch from my local ASDA yesterday and As someone who reads upwards of 100 books a year I hasve to say I hate it. Why the bloody 3 by 4 format far too wide and squat for an adult book - it reminds me of kids picture books rather than adult books with more than one word per page.

I guess there are few people these days who still read ... what other explanation can there be for the ipad and many ereaders adopting the same format as childrens books?

at last count my calibre library had over 29,000 books and scrapes 29 news sites daily asnd the entire output of gocomics weekly. Conveniently naughty people make most mags available in drm free pdf so the only mag I have to buy is Private Eye which shuns electronic formats but is reasonably priced so you don,t mind paying

Apple drops 'thermonuclear' patent bombshell

pulling of an april fool when el reg is always too hungover to publish sundays isn't easy

iPad queue hog doesn’t want it, won’t be first

given less than a few percent of people are what I would consider intelligent enough to have an opinion I hardly think the fact the herd is seduced by sparkly toys and thinks owning them is anything to write home about doesn't change my view one bit. Especially when it has a 4x3 screen when it will be used in landscape to watch movies and portrait to read books both of which favour 16x9.

at least he has an excuse for queueing for something that is utterly useless and overpriced unlike the rest of the idiots/fanbois doing the same. Shame apple's products are so poor the have to create fake shortages to give a false impression of success

Twitter buys microblogging service Posterous

when there is one twitter user

not entirely up there own arse then I will accept this is news but so far as I can see twitter is just apple with worse fanbois

Dwarf galaxy yields up middle-sized black hole

intermediate - one of those weasel words used to suggest something really baaaaad is nice n fluffy

UK crime-busters knock hiphop site off the Internet

well if that's what uk policing has sunk to then time has come to stop pissing on them when they are on fire.

Did you know it was the police not liverpool fans who pillaged the dead at Hillsborough (for my sins I reviewed the files of Hammond suddards the solicitors who advised south yorkshire police at the enquiry)?

imo police are no longer public servants but our enemies

Samsung shows third-gen Galaxy Tab

€270 according to a rival site. At £250 or less I'll have two but none if any more

Apple demands US ban on Samsung's Galaxy Nexus

this follow on idea is rubbish my first smartphone was an iphone3 and it was so shite my second third and current ones were androids

Sun hacks cuffed after being DOBBED IN by News Corp

well

there would still be the Daily Star or el reg

CERN: 'New physics starts now'

We built nuclear bombs before proving experimentally that the neutrino existed?

Last time I checked my garage bomb plans no neutrinos were required to make it go boom .... enough neutrons but no neutrinos.

Higgs boson hunters have god particle in their sights

smutty comment

so god exists in particle form but what about suzy?

having conducted intimate probing under conditions of strict confinement and after high energy impacts i can safely say she's full of surprises and is more complex than thought.

ok so silk rope and a cane aren't the normal tools of science but i assure you they work on my suzy ;)

does the bite mark i left on her chesticle mean broken supersymetry?

Paris - two chesticles

Can the iPad save newspapers?

permanent marker

and sandpaper

that's odd

The Grauniad on my android phone and slab are both ready for me when I wake up (and if I don't remember to silence the buggers the beeb wakes me up at 5pm). I suspect that the ipad will do the same if the user takes the time to set the preferences.

TfL wheels out digital bus info upgrade

Huh?

West Yorkshire has had this system on all routes for years.