* Posts by Why Not?

380 posts • joined 4 Apr 2011


SAP proves, yet again, that Excel is utterly unkillable

Why Not?

When you only have excel everything is a nail!

I have written plenty of vital tools in Excel. It is Business's hammer!

I do now use GDPR & Governance as a lever to kill Excel in the front line. If only most customers knew how much of their personal data was blasted throughout almost every organisation in Excel.

SharePoint for data input and SQL server for handling data with PowerBI as the display. I can then at least try to tell who has seen what.

Other tools are available.!

UK housing association Places for People hands £21m to Salesforce to look after CRM and job scheduling

Why Not?

Re: Housing Association announce £25m IT contracts

Try here


£227M operating profit. on £827M turnover.

So re-investing 10% of their profit or 3% of their turnover on IT to probably save significant costs would hardly be considered a lot in the Private sector, I am assuming this is a multi year deal.

They seem to know what they are doing as they have reserves of £0.5 Billion and £3Billion in total value.

A lot of the not for profits are becoming like real businesses because that way they have more money to help people, its no longer run on a shoestring and make nothing.

Beer gut-ted: As many as '70 million pints' spoiled during coronavirus pandemic must be destroyed in Britain

Why Not?

This seems the most sensible solution. Surely it helps everyone if Pubs can do this with their fresh stock?

Maersk prepares to lay off the Maidenhead staffers who rescued it from NotPetya super-pwnage

Why Not?

nope the high ups just get to visit the new support centres on expenses.

Some Turkeys know about Xmas.

Ex from Hell gets six years for online stalking and revenge pics rampage at two women

Why Not?

Re: My guess, he's lucky to be alive

Oh their friends tell them repeatedly, the wife has a few of these friends.

Its sad but different strokes for different folks.

Some people just don't have the right morals or standards to deal with modern life, its hard to deal with rejection, but I am glad this scumbag is locked up.

HP polishes the redundancy cannon, prepares to fire 16% of workforce

Why Not?

Blimey someone still works for HP??

I thought they all got redundancy 20 years ago.

IR35 blame game: Barclays to halt off-payroll contractors, goes directly to PAYE

Why Not?

Re: Personal Service Companies

totally sensible so of course we won't do it in the UK.

Its almost like someone wants to get rid of contractors.

#MeToo chatbot, built by AI academics, could lend a non-judgmental ear to sex harassment and assault victims

Why Not?


Soon harassment can be detected like using speed cameras. That can only be for the good.

I suspect though there will be a large cultural element that will need to be understood, what is not offensive in America may be so in China and vice versa.

Deloitte man kept quiet at Autonomy's internal audit committees, says scrutiny chairman

Why Not?

I did wonder what the Auditors did in this case

Most Auditors I have met were very inquisitive and found a few obscure errors that even finance didn't know existed. They positively enjoyed that.

This alleged fraud is carousel like as used for vat fraud and surely the auditors should have been looking for it?

This wasn't hidden in petty cash it was a circle of payments in the millions.

Be still, our drinking hearts: Help Reg name whisky beast conjured by Swedish distillers and AI blendbot

Why Not?

my two pennyworth

Microsoft Sippy - "I can see you are trying to get off your face, do you want help with that?"

Whisky NT


Most Valuable Pisshead

Welsh police use of facial recog tech – it's so 'lawful', rules High Court

Why Not?

Re: How in the name of sweet beJesis is this legal?

This is probably the key "who do you match it against and why".

If you have a database of people who are convicted drunk drivers banned from driving and you match active drivers against it then that is direct crime detection - OK?. Now if you have a database of convicted pickpockets and you use cctv footage at a festival is that ok?

Now change the word from convicted to suspected - still OK? etc.

So we need clear rules who and why you match it against.

We need to define rules of engagement when a match is made. First the match must be manually verified by a competent officer, then an agreed process to approach the possible suspect and verify their identity in a polite and acceptable way.

Now denying it works now is pointless, the evidence is that it will work soon and as it evolves it will become a major part of police work, we just need to manage the genie as it comes out of the bottle.

Why Not?

Re: Keeping pace?

It is invasive to obtain an official copy of a person's fingerprints, you need to coat their hands in ink and press them to a piece of paper (or similar). That is why they need to obtain permission. The police can of course freely take a copy of latent prints (the mark you leave behind) at crime scenes.

The same can be said of DNA evidence.

Taking someone's photograph in public is not invasive and permitted by any photographer.

Just as ANPR can record the presence of a number-plate to record a crime or just presence its the processing of the sequence of ANPR records to trace a car's journey that is different and questionable. We need to limit the processing of the data not the capture.

Allowlist, not whitelist. Blocklist, not blacklist. Goodbye, wtf. Microsoft scans Chromium code, lops off offensive words

Why Not?

Ah we are in the Native American? We need to earn more!

Why Not?

Don't get you panties in a wad!

Always amuses me that Baa Baa Black sheep gets the treatment. The whole point of the rhyme is that the black wool is a premium product. So it is hardly derogatory.

Its the same as calling a spade a spade (or a bowl/shovel a bowl/shovel) being offensive because centuries later someone likens those of recent-ish African extraction (we all came out of Africa according to science and God's chosen people weren't rednecks) to a suit of cards.

Now I had this discussion about the word chairman a few times and pointed out the word man's origin in German does not denote a gender it is the equivalent of Chairperson, ChairWyf or ChairWer (yep that is where we get werewolf from) would however be sexist. One colleague (a devout christian of African heritage) made a very good point that you should consider how its use makes people feel and adjust your language accordingly out of respect.

There are times when you explain and times when you substitute to be polite to your audience. I now use the equally ancient term 'chair' though joke about talking to the furniture. Blackboards can sensibly become chalk boards.

I call a bowl a bowl to ridicule the professionally offended.

I do however defend baa baa black sheep and explain its origin because its improper use is the problem and it is an excellent teaching moment for children.

Allowlist and Blocklist make a sensible step towards this new era of politeness & respect.

Croydon school rolling in toilet roll after Brexit gift deemed unfit for the Queen's Anus Horribilis

Why Not?

Re: HM The Queen?

oooh a little bit of wee escaped!

top post

Take Note: Schneider's teeny-tiny Galaxy VS li-ion UPS set to explode onto data centre scene

Why Not?

Re: Schneider Electric

Actually Galaxy was an MGE / Merlin Gerin brand name. They have a history of pushing battery technology, the NiCad ups and even the water cooled UPS.

APC unfortunately for their investors weren't as inventive.

What's Big and Blue – and makes its veteran staff sue? Yep, it's IBM

Why Not?

Re: What an irony !

Whether they are C level or Grunts.

Being related or going to school with other C levels helps.

Scrapping UK visa cap on nurses, doctors opened Britain's doors to IT workers

Why Not?

here is an outstanding idea.

Up the minimum salary to be paid to £70,000 - these are highly skilled people after all.

Do not allow the employers to deduct expenses from this salary, stop them paying £50k and charging them £30k to stay at the company owned house.

Charge £5,000 for any application regardless of success.

Prohibit those on Visa's from being on customer sites more than 3 days a month.

As most of these applications are from foreign owned & taxed consultancies add a ICT etc tax.

I wonder how many apprenticeships will open up.

We might even see a few less jobs advertised at £16K in the city.

UK.gov isn't ready for no-deal Brexit – and 'secrecy' means businesses won't be either

Why Not?

Indeed where there is confusion there is overtime!

Thanks Hedley !

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Volkswagen faces fresh Dieselgate lawsuit in Germany – report

Why Not?

wait for the Dyson drivemobile!

A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds

Why Not?

Re: Developer PC

That is nothing. Back in the 90s a few weeks after I took over as IT manager where none of the PCs had been changed for years,

One manager came in and demanded a new PC for the new starter he had hired and hadn't advised IT. He demanded a PC NOW. I said I haven't got anything suitable.

Look he said you have some in a pile over there. I explained the pile was the ones I had replaced as the slowest in the building then raided for memory to get the other ones to the giddy heights of 1 MB (I think it was a 286 or early 386sx when were putting out Pentium IIs. I said that if they wanted the staff member to resign immediately then sure I could build one of those. Personally I would recommend we order a new one. Don't be difficult I was told.

2 days later I had installed windows & office from the network (I had discovered network install meant I didn't need to swap 40 floppies so I loved it).

The machine was pronounced "ready", the manager watched it boot windows for 10 minutes complaining all the way. Twenty minutes later I had a signed purchase order.

sometimes you just have to let them figure it out for themselves.

A real shot in the Arm: 3% of global workforce surplus to requirements

Why Not?

Re: "Common" sense?

the old comment that organisations are like human pyramids ,when those that look up can only see arseholes and those that look down only see smiley faces is quite telling.

When I look up I want to see managers looking if I am all right. That way I work with fewer arseholes.

None too chuffed with your A levels? Hey, why not bludgeon the exam boards with GDPR?

Why Not?

Re: To late for me as well

Sounds familiar from 40 years ago, apparently in one subject I got a fail on the exam despite getting Merits in the other subjects and when asking to see the papers 2 days after the results were published they were supposedly shredded. If my father hadn't been a governor we wouldn't have got that 'explanation'. Cost me a year going to another college and getting distinctions...

FOIR have served the public well. Sorry uncivil servants!

UK getting ready to go it alone on Galileo

Why Not?

doubt it, as they are likely to be sharing the same circuitry...

Think tank calls for post-Brexit national ID cards: The kids have phones so what's the difference?

Why Not?

Re: ...citing the Windrush scandal as justification.

If it was required that you had correct papers then I would expect the Windrush travellers to have valid papers pretty quickly. Because they didn't NEED it they didn't push for it, it wasn't needed.

That allowed subsequent governments to ignore their status.

I need a passport to travel abroad so I keep one. If I needed an ID card to pay my tax I would have one (I do). I was born here and can trace my family in the UK back centuries, I see an ID card as a sensible option.

Most process people would want something like that to have a process step that covered registering , not be content with 50 years of ignoring it.

I don't suggest the Windrush generation are culpable but they weren't motivated to solve it.

Unfortunately illegal immigration is out of control and we can't continue without the "hostile environment" if we want to control it. We aren't at a point where Pastor NIEMÖLLER's comments make sense but if we continue to add fuel to the fire we just might be. Remember that it required a government that was committed to killing every jew, black or "degenerate" (nasty labels) to make that happen, the tories don't seem to see be that way inclined.

Whilst I am no fan of May or her incompetents I am sure tightening up on immigration abuse is not the real issue.

Sysadmin shut down server, it went ‘Clunk!’ but the app kept running

Why Not?

Label, Label Label

When you build a server put a label on every switch & power socket.

Also check the Mac address if unsure.

Been there, done that took the sh1t

Git365. Git for Teams. Quatermass and the Git Pit. GitHub simply won't do now Microsoft has it

Why Not?

Never going to git you down

Never gonna run around and revert you

Well played sir!

Smart bulbs turn dumb: Lights out for Philips as Hue API goes dark

Why Not?

unfortunately users need the internet to decode your mutterings.

The difficulty is that the bean counters don't need the internet to decode your mutterings.

Police block roads to stop tech support chap 'robbing a bank'

Why Not?

Re: Emergency Red Buttons deserve a label

I always liked the site where they put the big red button (connected to the building Emergency Power off) by the door and parallel to the racks every time they opened the rack doors the fire alarm went off and the site went dark.

Not an uncommon occurrence.

You know that silly fear about Alexa recording everything and leaking it online? It just happened

Why Not?

Not as bad as shag book.

It seems the users must have responded to multiple prompts or there weren't enough in the first place.

To those that fear a HAL like experience then try one of the Alexa compatibles. Items like the Jam voice require you to push a button before it responds (and records). Guess what I have!

Its time for Amazon to add an option in the app to switch off always listen and only respond after a button press, If they want they can allow you to pair a bluetooth camera trigger button (as available for £1 in Poundland) to supplement the dot button on the device.

It would help them break into the office as well.

Or they can try to shut the stable door after this. Lets see how they get on.

Blood spilled from another US high school shooting has yet to dry – and video games are already being blamed

Why Not?

Re: Early information

Unfortunately you seem to have hit a vein of stupidity our American cousins seem obsessed with.

Any normal person on being told you are twice as likely to be shot by a Toddler than killed by a terrorist would think Holy Ship its time for gun law reform. Some Americans think "I need to pop out and buy an assault rifle".


Honestly guns should only be carried by the specially trained minority of law enforcement (if you give them to all cops being non white seems to up your risks substantially) and the Military preferably well trained as well.

There is some sense in those that target shoot or manage land having single shot arms for targets, foxes or rats.

We have had > 60 knife deaths this year and questions are being asked in the house, For you that's a bad week in Texas for gun crime.

Please lobby for gun control, your population deserve it. Now we are related by marriage I think I have to say something :)

Zero arrests, 2 correct matches, no criminals: London cops' facial recog tech slammed

Why Not?

Re: Surely though

This is not a failure of the technology but a failure of the people.

The correct response to a goat herder coming too close to the fence, is to explain to him if it does it again the garrison will be eating goat curry from now on and he won't have any goats to herd.

Then the fence stays on and those in the watchtower might get some sniper practice.

Technology is limited but if properly designed & used its very effective. Its normally far better on repetitive jobs than any human.

The proof is MK1 eyeball has been supplanted by MKXX mines & sensors in most scenarios where it matters. By the way its not a MK1 eyeball as it is one of the more evolved parts of our bodies.

Bruce is probably pointing out that people are broken but will blame technology so you have to have a plan to deal with events.

Why Not?

Re: Surely though

Indeed, I'm worried that so many posters & journalists are having such difficulty with the maths.

Out of 10s of thousands of faces it picked out 95 that looked similar to photo's of people of interest. Of those only two were actual matches which is the bit that needs training and further work if we can get that up to 20% then that is as good as current intelligence with no actual police work.

Its the same as having one policeman looking at a crowd turn to another and say "does that looks a little like Ronnie Biggs?" and his colleague says "nope its his cousin" or "Ronnie Biggs has less hair". It is just brushing aside the irrelevant to reduce the number of possibilities not "Minority report". Its a tool not a complete solution.

Now if the Police take the suggestions as certain matches to stop & question then they aren't doing their job properly. We know they can be more selective because stop & search has a 17-20% success rate (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43641009).

However the report doesn't say they stopped & questioned all 95 potentials, just that they used that method to verify some. So the only issue here is that the Police had more potentials to look through than if the system were perfect.

I would have thought the lefties would be glad if the Police had more targeted stop & searches using nothing more than a publicly visible face. Imagine if we could get stop & search up to over 40% success rate!

As to shooting Brazilian electricians, then one hopes if the system said loudly "no match" when he was seen on CCTV it could have saved his life. We should train people to realise that computers like trained anti terrorist officers aren't infallible and its reasonable to question decisions, we should also build it into the application.

UK Home Office hands Sopra Steria £91m digital visa contract

Why Not?

Re: Its just not right

Not entirely right - a country can specify the requirement is security sensitive and over rule the tender process. That is what the other countries do.

Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

Why Not?


It happened to me about 30 years ago, I was pointing Percy at the porcelain in Schipol Airport after a longish journey and this rather attractive blonde lady reached across me to polish the wall above the urinal then flashed me a huge smile.

One of those moments that is probably subconsciously saved for when my life flashes before my eyes,

Why Not?

Part of the Interview process

Always check the loos when going for interviews, if they are poorly used by potential colleagues, cleaned or maintained the same attitude will be taken to staff.

I used to do on site support and we always decided whether we liked the site if you turned up and they offered you a visit to the facilities & a cup of coffee. It was surprising how many marched you straight to the server room to freeze for the next 10 hours without a drink or a visit to the smallest room. If they offered you a pass for the canteen you had struck Gold!

Brit IT contractor wins appeal against HMRC to pay £26k in back taxes

Why Not?

Warm & Fuzzy,

You wet yourself laughing?

Blighty: If EU won't let us play at Galileo, we're going home and taking encryption tech with us

Why Not?

Re: Stupid Boy

Because no one has developed reusable spaceships or simple satellites.

FFS most script kiddies could launch a working GPS system.

Why Not?

Re: Jacob Rees-Mogg in orbit

Well I suppose its better than Napoleonic units

UK's Dyson to vacuum up 300 staffers for its electric car division

Why Not?

Dyson sales were 3.5 times that of Hoover so expect 3.5 times as many at the tip.

Dyson UK vacuum sales in 2016 were 14 Million compared to 4 million from Hoover. So yes its likely you will see more at the council tip.

I have a DC01 that I use in the workshop and it handles anything, you do need to change the filters every 5 years at least which costs £3 from eBay. My wife's Miele clogs regularly.

Remember post Brexit we need to compete on the world stage and it looks like our exes are going to be petulant and try to make trade difficult to punish us.

Electric vehicles are the future and this is a great opportunity to make the UK a world leading original manufacturer. Who else could achieve this for us? Sir Clive has retired and everyone else has been sold off.

A UK based Dyson vehicle will help fill the void if we can't buy German vehicles, at least the emissions figures won't be fraudulent.

Lets see the Government start to build new industries now as a response to difficult negotiations rather than undercut them with EU ones.

Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar

Why Not?

Re: Can't we get rid of May?

Blair & Brown ran up the credit cards & sold the family gold to give away money on a grand scale. When the banks crashed they threw our grandchildren's money at them to save them fixing their own problems. I would have let them do like Barclays and borrow from elsewhere.

Instead of dealing with the ill feeling from successive treaties that surrendered our sovereignty to the EU they decided to dive deeper into it. They decided not to limit labour from the much poorer EU countries unlike other countries, in fact lord Mandleslime "sent out search parties" (His words not mine).

Labour are the architects of Brexit, their arrogance and failure to consider the public mood made it inevitable.

The subsequent governments have tried to cut our spending with a constant drone of "savage Tory cuts" from Labour or in English "They are spending less than we promised when we knew we wouldn't pay it back".

The deficit (the amount we spend more than we earn every month) is going down so one day we will start paying back the debt. Maybe we will finish in 70 years like we did with the war debt. Mr Micawber would be pleased.

Cameron understood we had made a mistake with open door EU immigration because it was changing the UK too fast and went to the EU to negotiate. He was told to F off by the EU.

We got a referendum in which we decided to leave and our 40 year relationship with the EU is about to end. Some of us are quite pleased. You obviously aren't and seem to have an almost religious obsession with it.

May is trying to negotiate but nailing jelly to a wall is easier than working with an alcoholic tax evoider & his mates.

Yes we could do with someone better than May but there is no one in opposition who could compete, that really is very sad.

Malware writer offers free trojan to hackers ... with one small drawback

Why Not?

No honour amongst thieves - shocking!

London council 'failed to test' parking ticket app, exposed personal info

Why Not?

Re: Tax roundabout

Unfortunately the one sacked will be the janitor not a manager.

Post-Brexit five-year UK work visas planned – report

Why Not?
Thumb Down

Joined up government

There will be so many contractors escaping the Public Sector IR35 witch hunt we won't need any immigration.

Yeah right.

EU dings Sony, Panasonic over rechargeable battery cartel

Why Not?

Re: And the victims of the scam ...

they don't call him the Jaffa Jabba for nothing!

Higher tech prices ARE here to stay. It's Mr Farage's new Britain

Why Not?

Re: Brexit means brexit.

The Germans ate our cake?

Bar stewards!

Vodafone UK blocks bulk nuisance calls. Hurrah!

Why Not?

Re: Personally, with nuisance calls...

I have a towel & a rape alarm, I string them along for a few seconds talking really quietly. Just as they get interested I wrap the phone & rape alarm together in the towel, pull the pin & walk away.

Only one ever phoned me back so his mate could hear it, they were laughing their head off by the end.

Why Not?

Re: Tell BT and EE

Thanks I went to read this and of course the advert underneath was 'new way to check PPI'.mde me laugh.

its difficult to understand why this has taken so long.

I wonder will the be effective against Dave from Mumbai? You know the one with a thick accent and very worried about the accident you had in your car recently. Or will foreign cold callers be exempt as they don't pass their ID through?

Corbyn lied, Virgin Trains lied, Harambe died

Why Not?

Re: Cant see where he lied

but unfortunately for Virgin they have breached the law by releasing them. they are now in a no win situation.

What they should have done is asked the Guardian & Corbyn for a retraction or they would see them in court,

It would then be plucky Virgin stopping a newspaper laying, Corbyn would have been a side issue.



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