* Posts by Evil Scot

84 posts • joined 1 Apr 2011

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NSA: We've learned our lesson after foreign spies used one of our crypto backdoors – but we can't say how exactly

Evil Scot

Re: How do you avoid US spy gear, it is everywhere.

Innocent? Not according to 'A Slip of the Keyboard'.

Sod the truth sell the story.

To stop web giants abusing privacy, they must be prevented from respawning. Ever

Evil Scot

Re: Cthulhu FTAAGN?

I wondered what the Acronym reminded me of PHANG. Ruddy blood suckers all of them.

What a Hancock-up: Excel spreadsheet blunder blamed after England under-reports 16,000 COVID-19 cases

Evil Scot
Terminator

Re: Familiar kind of scenario.

Didn't expect them to use industrial automata.

Did you mean Object Linking and Embedding.

It's 2020, so let's just go ahead and let Amazon have everyone's handprints so it can process payments

Evil Scot

Re: Hey Amazon

One too many.

Q: How does hydrogen turn into a metal? A: Hang on a second, I need to train my AI supercomputer first

Evil Scot

Re: Quantum computing

And Bloody furious!!!!!

AI in the enterprise: AI may as well stand for automatic idiot – but that doesn't mean all machine learning is bad

Evil Scot
Paris Hilton

Re: It has long been the abbreviation for ...

But marketing genius is just one half of the AI process.

'We're not claiming to replace humans,' says Google, but we want to be 'close enough' that you can't tell it's a bot talking

Evil Scot

Hell no.

My interaction with google over a week.

Monday

Google : Are you going to work.

Me : Yes.

Google: Please wait.. Turn Left onto....

Google : Are you going home.

Me : Yes.

Google: Please wait.. Perform a U-turn....

Tuesday

Google : Are you going to work.

Me : Yes.

Google: Please wait.. Turn Left onto....

Google : Are you going home.

Me : Yes.

Google: Please wait.. Perform a U-turn....

Wednesday

Google : Are you going to work.

Me : Yes.

Google: Please wait.. Turn Left onto....

Google : Are you going home.

Me : Yes.

Google: Please wait.. Perform a U-turn....

Thursday

Google : Are you going to work.

Me : Yes.

Google: Please wait.. Turn Left onto....

Google : Are you going home.

Me : Yes.

Google: Please wait.. Perform a U-turn....

Friday

Google : Are you going to work.

Me : Yes.

Google: Please wait.. Turn Left onto....

Google : Are you going to the YMCA.

Me : ... FFS Google!!!!! That is -ing protected category data!!!!!

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Winking red supergiants sneezing hot gas 650 light years away

Evil Scot
Devil

Re: An "outgassing event" is not a sneeze

Stelar Shart.

Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do.

I got 99 problems, and all of them are your fault

Evil Scot

Re: This is a common problem for electricians

However...

Whoever installed the new light actually fixed a wiring problem (broken earth circuit).

Google to pull plug on Play Music, its streaming service that couldn't beat Spotify, in favour of YouTube Music

Evil Scot

Re: I've just uploaded my music collection to...

Depends on the Music server. a One of payment for Plex gives me anywhere streaming, photo backup. Unlimited (>64K) Sonos

AI assistants work perfectly in the UK – unless you're from Cardiff, Glasgow, Liverpool, Birmingham, Belfast...

Evil Scot

Re: Eleven!

Aye.

Brit police's use of facial-recognition tech is lawful, no need to question us, cops' lawyer tells Court of Appeal

Evil Scot

Re: 22%

Sounds like someone who masks their identity to avoid being caught by the landowner when they performing the most heinous crime of Morris Dancing.

Customers of Brit ISP Virgin Media have downloaded an extra 325GB since March, though we can't think why

Evil Scot
Coffee/keyboard

It is not the router

When I had a VOIP line over virgin i had to change the DNS server on the ATA as the Virmin poisoned their DNS lookup against their competitors. Never use their backroom services since.

Now their router does just that route.

DNS services and DHCP from a rasberry Pi. Via PiHole.

5Ghz wifi on a TPlink mesh and 2.5Ghz (IoT) on BT Access point.

Thankfully Disable DHCP and wifi haven't reverted.

Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do

Evil Scot

Re: What are the odds?

About 90% then!!!!!

BT CEO tests positive for coronavirus, goes into self-isolation after meeting fellow bosses from Vodafone UK, Three, O2 plus govt officials

Evil Scot

Re: It's getting the 1% as well

But it does discriminate on disability, guess the PTB don't care about them.

US prez Donald Trump declares America closed to those flying in from Schengen zone over coronavirus woes

Evil Scot

Re: Hmm

I'm sure he does. He was pictured at a fundraiser for a terror organisation in that general location.

Grab a towel and pour yourself a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster because The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is 42

Evil Scot

Re: A code

You would think that only 1:1,000,000 people might get it. But the odds are more likely 9:10.

Artful prankster creates Google Maps traffic jams by walking a cartful of old phones around Berlin

Evil Scot

Re: Can't stop smiling

Which one? Or will I have to find a back way to the cinema?

Very little helps: Tesco flashes ancient Windows desktop on Scan-As-You-Shop device

Evil Scot
Alert

Ahh, Sainsbury,

The handset is 4G, EE in a store where EE reception is shoddy. And the card swipe is discriminatory against southpaws.

There is an app for that though.

No Icon at card swipe station.

Clunk, whirr, buzz, whine. Shared office space can be a riot and sounds like one too

Evil Scot

Febreze, wit a vengeance.

Judge snubs IT outsourcers' plea to Alt-F4 tougher H-1B visa rules: Bosses told to fill out the extra paperwork

Evil Scot

Re: awwww, poor H1B companies

Or only interested in the money if the number in the wrong column...

I worked for a company (call it U)

It was based in two sites. I developed software which distilled the knowledge of an individual at one site (Call it K) and was rolled out to site S.

At site K this individual was co opted int sales support. Site S this role was made redundant and the operator of my software was down skilled. Now things get interesting. During a slow down in the market site S stayed tied to a 4 day week. Site K felt the pinch for a bit but soon recovered to a 5 day week.

Who had the best policy U-K or U-S.

In the red corner, Big Red, and in the blue corner... the rest of the tech industry

Evil Scot

Re: Very different times...

"Today expect any successful server-side application be cloned immediately by all the big cloud providers"

Guess who has reverse engineered Amazon's API?

Remember that Sonos speaker you bought a few years back that works perfectly? It's about to be screwed for... reasons

Evil Scot

Re: Maybe the business plan needs some tweaks

But how many returns of incompatible hardware will Currys accept before dropping distribution?

Evil Scot

Heos, Musicast for me now.

Have a connect feeding a 1998 AV receiver and a soundblaster sound card. Cant do that with the New Connect.

Liked that it didn't need a server for music files. Better than its competition at the start.

Sunsetting my hardware leaves me open to other systems.

EU declares it'll Make USB-C Great Again™. You hear that, Apple?

Evil Scot

Re: Can we have a schrodinger's joke icon?

Stay Classy

IBM, Microsoft, a medley of others sing support for Google against Oracle in Supremes' Java API copyright case

Evil Scot

But what about other common internet APIs?

Such as AWS services

Is it a make-up mirror? Is it a tiny frisbee? No, it's the bonkers Cyrcle Phone, with its TWO headphone jacks

Evil Scot

Alexa How popular are round screen devices?

Spot the problem here.

Why can't passport biometrics see through my cunning disguise?

Evil Scot

Re: Security passcodes

My mums Ecliptic owned Assisted living (retirement home) in the UK has this kind of policy.

Name changed to protect the Guilty.

No wonder Bezos wants to move industry into orbit: In space, no one can hear you* scream

Evil Scot
Gimp

Re: No Sci-Fi needed

That other woman is strict.

Physicists are rather giddy after creating a rare type of laser using laughing gas

Evil Scot

How Bad?

Boffins harnessed the brain power of mice to build AI models that can't be fooled

Evil Scot

Cast a hex on them.

One man's mistake, missing backups and complete reboot: The tale of Europe's Galileo satellites going dark

Evil Scot

Re: Doesn't inspire confidence....

or his Potatoe

Evil Scot

Re: Doesn't inspire confidence....

Sir pTerry to the likes of you.

Here are some deadhead jobs any chatbot could take over right now

Evil Scot
Big Brother

Re: I am calling about your Microsoft!

I ask "Which computer? The tower? The Laptop? What is the MAC address?"

Which gets the response " No, No it is not a Mac it is a Vindows PC"

Icon because 1984 will no longer be like 1984 again.

Evil Scot
Facepalm

Re: Your list

You assume that plumbers have intelligence.

Monday plumber comes to fix loss of cold water in flat (urgent call out).

Wednesday same guy comes to look at shower... Takes Photos of shower. Now waiting for repair.

Margin mugs: A bank paid how much for a 2m Ethernet cable? WTF!

Evil Scot

Re: Not just business

I am sure I spent £30 on an hdmi cable.

At £2.50 /m it was half the price per metre tha a 2m cable off the high street.

How long is a lifetime? If you’re Comcast, it’s until a rival quits a city: ISP 'broke' price promise

Evil Scot

Re: Is It Wise

I guess Comcast just rebooted the contract anew. New contract, new lifetime.

Not so easy to make a quick getaway when it takes 3 hours to juice up your motor, eh Brits?

Evil Scot

Re: That's why we need tidal energy

Tesla, who were the Apple in this debate, are moving towards the USB-C of the EV market now. Much like apple.

Like a grotty data addict desperately jonesing for its next fix, Google just can't stop misbehaving

Evil Scot
Big Brother

An another thing. How do we know the data they hold is correct?

Installed an Android Auto Stereo in my car.

Monday

Get in in the morning " Are you driving to work?" "Yes"

Get in in the evening" Are you heading Home?" "Yes"

Tuesday

Get in in the morning " Are you driving to work?" "Yes"

Get in in the evening" Are you heading Home?" "Yes"

Wednesday

Get in in the morning " Are you driving to work?" "Yes"

Get in in the evening" Are you heading Home?" "Yes"

Thursday

Get in in the morning " Are you driving to work?" "Yes"

Get in in the evening" Are you heading Home?" "Yes"

Friday

Get in in the morning " Are you driving to work?" "Yes"

Get in in the evening" Are you going to Stay at the YMCA?" "FFS NO!!!!! I'm visiting Mum (about 10m away)"

Trump attacks and appeals 'fundamentally misconceived' Twitter block decision

Evil Scot

Three Attempts

Wow.

Don(ald T) Quixote gave up after two failures in scotland.

Electric cars can't cut UK carbon emissions while only the wealthy can afford to own one

Evil Scot

Re: A bit out of date?

If you really want to be smug.

Do you freeze your balls off de-icing the car.

Do you spend the first half of the journey waiting for the car to warm up?

Do you spend the second half of the journey waiting for the driver to warm up?

Don't panic! Don't panic! UK IT job ads plummet as Brexit uncertainty grabs UK tech sector by the short and curlies

Evil Scot
Flame

Re: for the pill aficionado

Some of these 25p Pills are only available in small quantities. So you need a prescription to get hold of a reasonable supply.

And then there is the problem with mobility to get hold of the supply. Factor in a taxi ride to the pharmacy and the price of the pills rises tenfold. Each week.

Here are my boots, the pharmacy is half a mile away.

It's heads you win, tails you lose as Microsoft introduces CoinFlip™ for Windows 10

Evil Scot
Coat

If it lands on its side windows defaults to its original browser...

US court nixes Google's $5.5m court payoff over Safari Workaround – no one affected saw cash

Evil Scot
Black Helicopters

Re: Who gets the money?

Depends where the offence occurred.

Here in the UK it is a criminal offence.

It's official: Deploying Facebook's 'Like' button on your website makes you a joint data slurper

Evil Scot

Re: I was harvested like that.

All my browsers are "Do Not Track". (Computer Misuse Act?)

After blocking every advertiser, I found out how to reset my "interests" in Facebook.

Really should go to Dreams and inform them how Facebook attempted to Monitise the theft of their business.

Evil Scot
Paris Hilton

I was harvested like that.

That little cold snap last year caused a delivery from Dreams to be cancelled.

Had to re-book online.

FaceSpam spent the next 6 months advertising mattresses to me.

OK, Google. We've got just the gesture for you: Hand-tracking Project Soli coming to Pixel 4

Evil Scot
Paris Hilton

People who liked this also liked...

Dear hackers: If you try to pwn a website for phishing, make sure it's not the personal domain of a senior Akamai security researcher

Evil Scot

Re: Cash Dollar?

Not English!

Ya Skunner.

Could an AI android live forever? What, like your other IT devices?

Evil Scot

Or possibly

Steam roller.

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