Posts by b0llchit

Doom developer John Carmack thinks artificial general intelligence is doable by 2030

Re: Own goal

Can those little green archaeologists play Doom?

All of this has happened before...

• 2030: All of humanity hails the first sentient AI;
• 2039: Sentient robots are used as slaves everywhere;
• 2040: Cylons rebel and attack their masters;
• 2041: Mass exodus of the seven continents?

Ukraine accuses Russian spies of hunting for war-crime info on its servers

Re: Sounds like a great place to dump

Honeypots and misinformation are old tactics in war. I'm sure they all know that.

No, no, no! Disco joke hit bum note in the rehab center

Re: So the system didn't cut the ringtone when the phone was picked up

I scanned what you did there.

Re: So the system didn't cut the ringtone when the phone was picked up

Assume as little as possible, Even so it should be a requirement of ringing a phone that the ring tone ill be cut off as soon as it's answered.

But that assumes a sane programmer is at work...

Re: So the system didn't cut the ringtone when the phone was picked up

They only had a Pointer, sister.

VR headsets to shift 30 million units a year by 2027, vastly behind wearables

Magical thinking and hype factory

Nice report you got there, who paid for it?

In all the past years VR has not been the huge success everybody hoped. And now, magically, within four years, the shipments of kit will almost quadruple? Do they know of the killer-app that a) nobody can live without and b) will pay an arm and a leg for to become part of?

Yeah, right.

Airport chaos as eGates down for the count across UK

Re: "The gates use facial recog technology"

...and still miss the mark.

BOFH: A security issue, you say? Activate code tangerine

What, you suggest to remember to make a QR code from genital pictures?

Chan Zuckerberg org to spin up 1,000+ H100 GPU cluster for AI medical research

Re: An aquaintance...

An H100 card does (TDP) 350..700W, depending type and whatnot. So, 1000 of them do 350...700kW. Assuming they are 100% loaded at 24h/365d, would mean 3...6 GWh per year. At a bulk-price of $0.05 per kWh that gives 153...306 k$ per year. This is, of course, not accounting for the servers, network, building and cooling. You might need to triple my estimate to get near energy consumption reality. Now, how expensive was that clinician?

Not to defend the system, not at all. I think it is offensive and obscene to use this amount of energy that is (in total) somewhere in the vicinity of one, two or three million home's energy use, maybe more. Especially problematic seen in the light of our impact and actually should be reducing our earthly footprint...

GitHub Copilot, Amazon Code Whisperer sometimes emit other people's API keys

We're too smart for the (ML/AI) internet

• 1) Be stupid
• 2) Expose your inner secrets on the internet
• 3) Be ignorant
• 4) Surprise, you're on candid camera
• 5) Now you're a member of the ID10T group

We don't really need AI/ML to tell us about our collective stupidity. Just take a look on the internet and it should be obvious.

Oracle at Europe's largest council didn't foresee bankruptcy

Re: Failure found

The cache was only one-way associative and was, unfortunately, not associated with Birmingham City.

Failure found

...and then allocated the cache to the relevant ledger codes.

I know what went wrong. The cash was transferred to Oracle cache. Everybody knows that Oracle cache is equivalent to W_otOM^(*) and performs only oracles for Oracle.

^{(*) _{Write only to Oracle Memory}}

Mention AI in earnings calls ... and watch that share price leap

But fear not, we can reassure readers that the content here at The Register is written by sentient beings.

Being "sentient" is in no way a prerequisite for being a natural biological person with any intellect whatsoever.

Therefore, I submit that there is 1) a real chance that El Reg is a blob of binary computers blabbering bullshit beyond believe, 2) a real chance that El Reg is a gathering of a babbling bumbling band of baboons and only magic keeps it together, 3) a real chance that reality is unreal and 4) a real chance El Reg hacks are sentient but do not get the hang of Thursdays.

Let's say, the jury is still out on this one. In the meantime, have a proper Monday beer to pretend it is Friday already.

Getting to the bottom of BMW's pay-as-you-toast subscription failure

...driving experience from that of piloting a 2CV.

At least you could fix a 2CV with a screwdriver, a wrench and a hammer.

Chap blew up critical equipment on his first day – but it wasn't his volt

Re: It doesn't always smoke though

They blew him off.

Apples to apples: Boffins find a way to make e-waste edible

Am I missing something?

No.

The orders of magnitude disparity of what is produced and what can be handled will most probably serve as a "see, we are recycling, honestly" green-washing argument.

Probe reveals previously secret Israeli spyware that infects targets via ads

Head in the sand

...If behavioral advertising were banned, the industry wouldn't exist."

Who is he kidding? Since when does "banning" something make it miraculously go away? It will simply find other jurisdictions. Maybe banning the entire advertising industry would do more good.

Techie labelled 'disgusting filth merchant' by disgusting hypocrite

Deflection

It is all your fault!

Ex-Twitter employees pull Musk back to money table over missing severance

Ah well, the remaining folks at Twitter probably really are too busy to open up that an email inbox.

They are trying to get rid of their Xcreetions on the toilet. However, the mass has hardened to the maX such that no shit happens. An insider quipped: "We're waiting for an eXplosion. Please don't be near us when it happens.". I fear that no severance will survive the eXcrements.

Stoner Cats NFT project declawed for being an unregistered security

Re: Get Rich Quick

But the Shell company provides our burning fossils. Therefore, it is profitable to invest in the clamshell future fortune.

Re: Get Rich Quick

So,... you will not be investing in the clamshell investment business? You are depriving yourself of huge future clamshells and other riches!

Get Rich Quick

This is the best and certain Get Rich Quick method to date!

Please send €50,- to my clamshell investment firm and you get a clamshell, a certificate of investment and 10% of any clamshell offspring you produce. Your clamshell will reduce your CO₂ emissions by absorption and the certificate guarantees your investment. Your share will ensure future clamshells and their value will go through the roof. It is a sure winner.

_{^{Also available with virtual clamshells.}}

Scientists spot startlingly close black holes in Hyades star cluster

Re: The Asylum has shown the way

Ramen!

The Asylum has shown the way

So don't worry: if a stray black hole was ejected in our direction we'd probably already be dead!

Don't worry? The gravity of the situation demands that we panic right away and find a way to move a black hole out of our way, pronto! Hell will be on top of us before you know it and we all die in the process. We need a solution before we all die a horribly stretched and spaghettificated death. The Asylum has created many good inspirational moving pictures to show the way. Time to make it real and do something about that invisible Black Threat we can't see, hear or smell.

These days you can teach old tech a bunch of new tricks

Re: A first?

• Masochists enjoy pain.
• Windows [ME] is pain.
• Therefore, masochists enjoy Windows [ME].
• QED

How to snoop on passwords with this one weird trick (involving public Wi-Fi signals)

Famous last words

Will this research result in actual practical attacks? We're willing to bet no...

These are the famous last words when somebody uses it in a practical setting, probably combined with other practises, and causes a world-wide panic.

Dutch consumer groups sue Google over its entire business model

Re: The advertisers and marketeers are the true scum

It is the fault of the consumer! They use our service so they are to blame for what is on the service. Otherwise, they would not use our service.

_{^{or so they want us to believe}}

Re: Waiting for that crippling fine

Indeed, voluntary informed consent is the key.

But, who are we kidding? Most government sites aren't even accessible without involuntary consent...

Waiting for that crippling fine

I hope they win and Google must pay restitution to any and all EU citizen they hold data about without voluntary and explicit consent where the burden of consent proof will be reversed such that Google is held to having data illegally collected from each EU citizen, unless Google can prove they got voluntary and explicit consent for any and all purposes that Google uses data for.

One is allowed to dream nice dreams, not?

Scientists trace tiny moonquakes to Apollo 17 lander – left over from 1972

...what sort of a backward hick uses Fahrenheit today?

The ones who have no clue and like BIG numbers. That is, until they miscalculate the heat shield because that big 2500'ish number was actually in Kelvin and they missed the mark by almost a factor of two.

Long-lost 1977 Star Wars X-Wing prop discovered – lock s-foils in bid position

You mean deflating? Into one pixel?

You mean, ehm, the one that fell over?

Pixelating that image was a dick move.

Friends don't let friends use AI to chat

A social animal does not appreciate technological replacement of its social interactions and rather have private conversations. Oh, the irony...

Lawyer's Microsoft email snafu goes from $1.75M lawsuit to Ctrl+Alt+Settle

Re: Typical lawyering

Yeah, lawyers have to make a living too!

^_/s

Alibaba set to unleash AI that offers financial advice – do you feel lucky?

Re: Mmmm...

Is that as predictable as devilish 666 and divine 333?

Elon Musk has beef with Bill Gates because he shorted Tesla stock, says biographer

I'd suggest he receive a mandatory one-way ticket to meet our central fusion based energy provider. Also, he should use his own rocket.

Getting Musk pissed off is a too easy achievement. There are no points to gain from getting Musk being pissed off. You Xcreete, Musk is pissed off. You sneeze, Musk is pissed of. You keep to yourself, Musk is pissed off. You allow yourself to be known, Musk is pissed off.

Just give it up already. And Musk will be pissed off at that too and Xcreete his inner feelings to show how pissed off he is, again.

Watt's the worst thing you can do to a datacenter? Failing to RTFM, electrically

Re: But surely

Inducing spasm capacity?

Re: But surely

But not when the capacity plays a role.

Okay, SMART ePANTS, you tell us how to create network-connected textiles

RFD (Request for Development)

...create active smart textiles that can keep soldiers, [...] safe "by sensing, processing and communicating information on individuals' location and physical surroundings (audio and video recording)."

Your goal is to create an RF targeting guided bullet

• fired from a sub-20mm gun
• withstanding high barrel exit velocity and firing acceleration
• flight path trajectory adjustment based on finding specific RF emissions to be programmed at firing time
• effective range at least 500m
• optional: visual inspection of target
• optional: AI automation of entire process
• mandatory: lethal for designated enemies

BMW deems drivers worthy of warmth, ends heated car seat subscription

Re: connected services as a strategic imperative and a driver of future revenue

I wonder how we even managed to live...

We ignorants do not know what we are missing out on until it is told to us ignorants that we are missing out which makes us inevitably feel at a loss of what we do not have and become more ignorant to cope with the situation until we cannot ignore it any longer after which we embark on a shopping spree to cope with our new found ignorance.

Re: Hopefully...

It is called Executive of Silly Driving Walks.

^{_{As mandated by the ministry of Silly Walks.}}

UK rejoins the EU's €100B Horizon sci-tech funding program

And here I thought you were getting your science back into your own hands. No more EU science dictates. Just plain old UK scientific ingenuity and progress for the sake of science UK. And now you want back to the old EU guards dictating science for you? How dare you! You need Sciexit, now!

_^/s

Norway court upholds miniscule fine against Meta for flouting privacy rules

I am still waiting for that 4% of global turnover fine. Then I think they might show a willingness for a real change. Everything else has been pocket money for them.

Google Chrome pushes ahead with targeted ads based on your browser history

Futuramalistic! Nice ref!

Never underestimate the anticipatory magic of Google's algorithms to know where you were/are/will be months from now before you even imagined your whereabouts in your wildest dreams^(*).

_{^{(*) Google NightsTM is a project to anticipate your dreams by interpreting the received electromagnetic radiation from neurons firing during sleep captured by you mobile phonespy.}}

Mozilla calls cars from 25 automakers 'data privacy nightmares on wheels'

Re: A long time ago...

Well, it cannot be said clear and often enough that the system is broken and you, the buyer, are the product. Not that it makes any difference, but my blood still boils every time when I read a data gathering/tracking article.

Re: A long time ago...

Using credit card --> anonymity fail. (usually-) Not the credit card company fails, but the company you buy from. Your every behaviour is recorded and analysed for a "virtual you". Stop being naive.

If you want instant gratification by buying stuff, then you must go to a physical shop, pay cash, not have it correlated with withdrawals and prevent from being recorded in and out of the shop.

(online) Retailers do not care about your interpretation of "relation". You are a target to extract money from. If that means using strong X-rays to get to the last nickel,... well, they'll use gamma rays just to be sure to get the last bit of information too.