* Posts by b0llchit

215 posts • joined 29 Mar 2011

Page:

So you really didn't touch the settings at all, huh? Well, this print-out from my secret backup says otherwise

b0llchit
FAIL

Re: It's always fun ...

telling a CEO "I told you so!"

Unfortunately, the CxOs are impervious to critique. It can never be their error. They have done everything right. Even when they are informed, it cannot be the CxO's fault. Some underling must have been sleeping because the CxO cannot fail.

(lesson learned through experience)

Huge if true... Trump explodes as he learns open source could erode China tech ban

b0llchit
Facepalm

Re: Please please please...

Ehm, you mean, make 'murica grate again?

/s

It is unclear why something designed to pump fuel into a car needs an ad-spewing computer strapped to it, but here we are

b0llchit
Devil

We need more options

These modern days require us to have full touch screens with a multiverse of options. I suggest, that mere commercials are no longer adequate. As an example:

Option 1: do you want sugar with your gasoline?

Option 2: do you want windowwiperwash with your diesel?

Option 3: do you want tireair with your super 100 octane?

Option 4: do you want coupons with your mileage?

Option 5: ok

Then, after the free-form options have been burned into our minds, then we will make them a non-voluntary option and make you click through all of these before any drop of gasoline may flow. I'm sure, that "ok" will find its way up the ladder so we can both be done faster and have our pockets picked in an orderly fashion.

Singapore releases the robot hounds to enforce social distancing in parks

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

It'll just shoot

The example scenario has already been designed and simulated in a Black Mirror of Metalhead horror.

Xiaomi emits phone browser updates after almighty row over web activity harvested even in incognito mode

b0llchit
Facepalm

Re: re: White House says no more foreign grid gear

Yes, and it would be a loss to national security if we, the US three letter abbreviations, were no longer able to backdoor our own infrastructure. For the course of national security, of course.

(I'm so sorry, but it is very hard not to be a cynic when the US is talking "national security")

As Brit cyber-spies drop 'whitelist' and 'blacklist', tech boss says: If you’re thinking about getting in touch saying this is political correctness gone mad, don’t bother

b0llchit
FAIL

Hm, not entirely thought through

That means that black-X is now on the deny list and white-X is on the allow list. That means, we have to associate black with deny and white with allow

How exactly is this making things better? Wasn't there a desire to remove the associations?

I'm doing this to stop humans ripping off brilliant ideas by computers and aliens, says guy unsuccessfully filing patents 'invented' by his AI

b0llchit
Pint

Re: Its all binary

Those are reserved for the mirror-universe. Anyway, antimatter numbers annihilate this universe, so having them together in this universe is a zero-sum game.

(for all other intents and purposes, they are represented in complement notation)

b0llchit
Boffin

Re: Its all binary

All my boolean states are held as the ratio of e and pi, and it's inverse.

I hate non-integer number bases. They are a real pain to work with. However, any number-base can be converted in any other number-base. Therefore, 0...2^infinity should keep me safe.

Now I think of it... I just registered complex bases, quaternion bases and octonion bases for all numbers up to infinity. Now, that should do it...

b0llchit
Alien

Re: Its all binary

Us... there is no us. I'm, of course, selfish and do not share. I only own stuff. I collect it all. I'm entitled to own it all. And, if we all live in a simulation, then that simulation is owned by me too. Then again, in a simulation, you do not exist for real, so it does not matter that you do not own anything anyway.

(the part where you think you know that you know what you know is known - its a binary choice with lots of digits)

b0llchit
Mushroom

Its all binary

My wet-ware brain has already registered all binary numbers from 0 to 2^infinity with an arbitrary number of leading zeros. Therefore, all your inventions belong to me. Every file that has been created and that will be created is covered by the set of numbers from 0 to 2^infinity and I own all those numbers. No machine is able to invent those numbers anymore. No other being is able to invent those numbers anymore. Get over it, I own it all.

Now, where is my payment?

/s

Where were you in drought season? Interstellar comet 2I/Borisov dumped 230 million litres of water as it whizzed through Solar System

b0llchit
Alien

Re: 0.1 Bathtubs/second

Just about two blue whales per solar visit. Not the extraterrestrial kind of blue or whale. More like the Antarctic type at TNO objects' temperatures.

Facebook, AWS team up to produce open-source PyTorch AI libraries, grad student says he successfully used GPT-2 to write his homework....

b0llchit
Alert

Re: A new tomorrow for conservatism...

Yay! RoboTrump and AutoBoris can be simple VMs...

Are you sure they are living persons today? I do not think that the present form we see and hear can pass the Turing Test.

b0llchit
Pint

Business school

Well, if GPT-2 can write an essay that passes in an MBA course, then the only viable conclusion would be that MBAs ramble incoherently. And that is, generally speaking, an accepted premise: MBAs are incoherent and ramble about anything. There is a silver lining here, which we all must appreciate. The fears that robots would only replace the working class are no longer true. Management will also be replaced by robots.

So, we do not need any workforce for production. We do not need any management in the corporation. And, beancounters are already replaced by computers tabulating results. That leaves us with marketing,... hm..., no, they are replaced by Google. That means we can do away with HR too. The end result is a new form of corporation ruled by our robotic overlords. We humans shall only consume and the robots will produce. Hm, I guess there is a decimal-error in this economic setup, somewhere, hidden in a software bug. Yay! nothing changed. The MBAs also place decimals wrongly at regular intervals.

Everything is changed and it all stayed the same. You must love progress to appreciate the irony.

Cloudflare is over the moon because its pro-privacy 1.1.1.1 DNS service got a clean bill of health from everyone's favorite auditor – KPMG

b0llchit
Boffin

Not yet, at least

"Cloudflare's business has never been about targeted advertising or selling user data," said CEO Matthew Prince

That would fall in the category famous last words not yet. The problem is never with current management. It is always a problem with who will follow. Either an internal policy change or a big investor, who wants to squeeze the last cent out of it too. But then it is too late. Your infrastructure has been committed and changing it is hard and expensive.

The lesson, that we all should have learned by now, is that a promise is just a promise. It does not say anywhere, how long that promise may last or is applicable. So, yes, good promise but use caution. Do not make yourself (too) dependent.

The shelves may be empty, but the disk is full: Not even Linux can resist the bork at times

b0llchit
Facepalm

R/O FS

When do you want to use read/only filesystems? There, where your system is embedded. You do not log or write braindead (just filling the filesystem) but build an infrastructure. So many things you need to think about and take care of. But that would require experience, which does not come cheap. And that goes for any operating system.

Who has tried a RPi with a writable SD card? It survives about 3 months before the flash wears out. Ah well,...

Microsoft Teams usage jumps to 32, no, 44 million as Windows-slinger platform slides onto home workers' PCs

b0llchit
Mushroom

Free access - with a price

Yes, we will give all of you free access. What we will not tell you is the actual cost. That would be an inconvenient truth.

You will pay, just not with money. We are allowed to read your communications using machines and gather all necessary behavioural data, as we are allowed to do so according to our brilliantly written privacy policy (which has hidden texts through a myriad of websites and hard to find links). Then all of that data will be shared with our valued business partners, who are are interested in doing the best thing for your health(-dataminingcommercialinterestoperation).

Thanks you for using MS - hope to see you again soon!

Tinfoil hat brigade switches brand allegiance to bog paper

b0llchit
Joke

Re: Surely,...

Since when does science and facts convince the ignorant? Please, leave us poor souls in our miserably happy state of ignorance.

Also, the ones preying on the ignorant definitely do not concur with your enlightened views. Please keep them to yourself. Making pr{a,e}ying business harder is not good for the economy.

b0llchit
Paris Hilton

Surely,...

A tinfoil hat will disrupt the bioelectric field of the virus in such way that I will be safe. Adding a mobile to the mix can only improve the repelling forces. The mobile radiates, the tinfoil deflects and reflects and the virus is driven away. Its a win-win-win for all.

You may also add some article generating algorithms in the mix with modern AI influencers in the backing room. You may do so in isolation. The spread will be viral, guaranteed; YMMV.

One for the super rich fanbois: Ultra-rare functional Apple-1 computer goes on auction

b0llchit
Joke

Re: Fully Functional ?

Oh Boy! That would be a site; under the hammer in front of an Apple Store.

A smashing example and much better than "Will an iPhone Blend".

How the US-China trade war is felt stateside: Xilinx trims workforce after lucrative Huawei sales pipe blocked

b0llchit
Coat

Re: For The USA...

Like modern accounting: Sow dollar bills, reap pennies.

NBD: A popular HTTP-fetching npm code library used by 48,000 other modules retires, no more updates coming

b0llchit
WTF?

Re: All software is terrible

So, you are suggesting to reinvent the wheel every ten years. However, the wheel is always round and has exactly the same function. Yes, bells and whistles may change, but the core remains. The computer hasn't changed that much either. It still is a simple machine manipulating ones and zeroes. Yes, faster, bigger, parallel, more shiny, more bells and whistles, etc. But the core remains.

Why change a working system? Just for the sake of change? Or are you suggesting the ultimate employment strategy, where each younger generation is forced to abandon the previous generation's knowledge and strategies? Maybe ten years is too long. Hardware is replaced more often. Why then not force each hardware generation to be accompanied by its own software strategies? That'll create the ultimate amount of work. Lets abandon compatibility and let divergence rule... sigh.

b0llchit
Meh

New is not always better

...and the code patterns at the heart of request are out of date

I do understand the urge to do everything in the most fashionable modes all the time. However, if it ain't broken, don't fix it. The JavaScript ecosystem made the same mistake as the Java ecosystem. It has become a complexity and dependency hell. A wakeup call should have been the recent downing of an npm package.

Yes, new paradigms and design patterns are a good thing. But being a bit conservative is also a good thing for longevity and maintainability. Complexity is hidden down the line of libraries and ripple up through the dependency chain. It is a nightmare to inherit unmaintainable old code with a blend of discontinuous paradigms and design patterns mixed. It should have been maintainable. It reminds me of the good old "Good, Cheap, Fast" choice. You still only can pick two, however, the "cheap" part is getting more and more expensive, the "fast" part is slowing down and the "good" part becomes a rather relative expression.

Google Chrome to block file downloads – from .exe to .txt – over HTTP by default this year. And we're OK with this

b0llchit
Alert

The long game

Finally, Chrome is on track to prevent al users from downloading any and all content from the network that has not been provided by Google itself. It took a while, but we're getting to the age of gInternet. Next up will be the browser for fInternet and the last browser for aInternet. The entire ecosystem divided by three firms, at last, as planned.

I'd prefer that we just ban 80% of the users from access to the internet. By my guess, that would improve security by a much larger factor.

They can't collect your bins or fix your roads. They let Google stalk visitors to their websites. Yes, it's UK local government

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

Re: Why do public sector websites have adverts at all?

Because tax is not enough.

The public sector needs entrepreneurial initiative to get ahead in the competition between counties, cities and public service offices. The size of the bonus for the boss always depends on the best way to be creative in generating revenue. In politics it is called optimizing the public sector and reducing bureaucracy.

Then, when elections are about, they ensure the status quo.

Pop quiz: Who's responsible for data protection compliance in the cloudy era? If you said 'dunno', you're not alone

b0llchit
Alien

Re: Point scores based on what?

...gets 27 points. Why 27?

Easy, the marketing department has determined that the dungeons are more valuable than the dragons. If you lock the dungeon, then the dragon will fail to enter. The magician holds the key until the spell of random predictability is cast. Then hell breaks loose and we see the burn-in on the dungeon screen, which the dragon uses to unlock the sword of data trimming. Marketing found that it takes 27 turns to the end of the world.

Therefore, you get a score of 27.

Maryland: Make malware possession a crime! Yes, yes, researchers get a free pass

b0llchit
Devil

Re: Banning malware is not an option!

You are mistaking. The good guys already have lots of malware. Just take a look at their computers. It is as simply as that. Therefore, the proposed wording is slightly off. Fixed version:

"label the possession and intent to use of ransomware in a malicious manner as a misdemeanor"

Then you simply start, randomly, to arrest and convict people you do not like and put them away for 10 years. That also solves the problem of "...making something illegal doesn't help unless you can catch and prosecute those who break the law". You are all criminals. You know it, I know it, we all know it. Now, get with the program.

Microsoft previews Visual Studio update with added Linux love, many new features

b0llchit
Devil

Devsearch

The only question, with so much love for the dear developers, will be the other policies. Like, does this "upgrade" also "upgrade" your choice of search engine? Or is the preview version just to get one hooked and then go behind one's back once it goes mainstream?

From WordPad to WordAds: Microsoft caught sneaking nagging Office promos into venerable text editor beta

b0llchit
Linux

And savings too

Ad-averse, privacy-focused Windows fans may be inspired to make this the year of Linux on the desktop?

And save $300 in the process. What is not to like?

What can we rid the world of, thinks Google... Poverty? Disease? Yeah, yeah, but first: Third-party cookies – and classic user-agent strings

b0llchit
Mushroom

Ad-washing

We already have Green-washing. Now the devil himself is Ad-washing? Or what is going on here?

A future quote from the devil:

Your privacy is very important to Google. We certainly do not share your data with you, therefore, it will be private by definition. Google will be the only one who has access to your private data. We ensure your privacy in every way and prevent you from sharing your private life to anybody, including yourself. Google knows how to handle all your private data and can therefore be trusted to keep it safe from you.

A sprinkling of Star Wars and a dash of Jedi equals a slightly underbaked Rise Of Skywalker

b0llchit
Coat

Re: 1977

Sadly it didn't explain why no on had ever bothered to program R2D2 to speak a human language.

Why else would you need a C3PO character?

Tracking President Trump with cellphone location data, Greta-Thunberg-themed malware, SharePoint patch, and more

b0llchit
Pint

Re: Weasel words even weasels don't dare say

>> natural languages

> I'm not sure you can use "natural" in this context...

Surely, lying through your teeth is a natural behaviour for the corporates. And lying about lying by lying is second nature.

b0llchit
Boffin

Re: Weasel words even weasels don't dare say

At least we now have firm confirmation that natural languages are about nothing in particular and most are about the opposite of the meaning of any words anyway.

With that knowledge, we can now redefine the natural language as giving meaning again, just assume the opposite and all is well. That is, until we start using the inverse of the inverse again after some time. Then we can assume that the inverse of the inverse is defined as undefined. And the opposite of undefined is, of course, [file not found]. Therefore, the world is still in balance because nobody gives a shit anyway what they were saying in the first place and all can hide behind the-computer-did-it for any and all mistakes.

That is a nice thought for the weekend...

How much cheese does one person need to grate? Mac Pro pricing unveiled

b0llchit
Alert

Re: Use

Yes, they are called "status objects" and are primarily used to compensate shortcomings elsewhere...

Americans should have strong privacy-protecting encryption ...that the Feds and cops can break, say senators

b0llchit
Facepalm

For a given value of two in politics

2 + 2 = 5

Which is true for large values of 2.

Politics assures us to have very large values of two, every time, by repeating it often enough. Therefore, politicians can guarantee the correct sum, regardless its actual value. See, we can be have a cake and eat it at the same time; you just need a politician assuring us the correct large value of the cake!

How to fool infosec wonks into pinning a cyber attack on China, Russia, Iran, whomever

b0llchit
Facepalm

Pointing fingers and yelling

Whenever you have a bunch of kids pointing fingers and yelling "he did it" and "she did it" you simply know to ignore all those messages. The kindergarten has evolved into a house of gray-aged kids pointing and yelling.

Please tell me, society has moved on. Oh, sorry, I was being optimistic.

Halfords invents radio signals that don't travel at the speed of light

b0llchit
Pint

Re: Speed of light

The speed of light is defined (!) to be exactly 299792458 m/s because the meter and the second are defined quantities.

That said, the British are probably going to enjoy this increased speed in short time, in contrast to the usual slight speed reduction caused by air. The British isles are already known for low pressure coming from the west. Then at brexit time, the EU will turn off the flow of air too, reducing the air pressure considerably and speeding up any radio signals in the process.

BTW, you know what happens, every time a politician creates a pocket of high pressure air? Well, the speed of light through that medium is reduced, which means time slows down! Therefore, politicians can never reach their full potential; the more they try, the slower they get.

Sudo? More like Su-doh: There's a fun bug that gives restricted sudoers root access (if your config is non-standard)

b0llchit
Thumb Up

Printer copy limitation

That reminds me of a funny bug in my old Uni's PrimeOS machine (from ancient history). There were only three or five print jobs allowed per semester. However, the printer command had a # of copies option, which, of course, used a signed integer as argument. Therefore, using -1 copies would give you one more job to print :-)

'Technical error' threatens Vodafone customers with four-figure roaming fees

b0llchit
Mushroom

Sorry, we got caught

The whole apology thingy is always so [redacted]. The only thing they are really sorry about is getting caught. That is the MO of all these big corps. Make money, no matter what, no matter how. Fix only what is complained about and then it has to be complained about in a very load and vocal way. Otherwise, use the bureaucratic system to our bottomline advantage.

Finfisher malware authors fire off legal threats to silence German journos

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

You may want to probe the archive for full coverage. They too will get a cease and desist. Then all of us will see circling helicopters and black suit teams doing high speed chases in our brain paths. Welcome to the internet; love and kisses from dear Streisand.

Oh, BTW, the max. penalty of 5 years (after German law) would be too easy on the malware pushers. The entire CxO class, all developers and sales drones at Elaman GmbH, FinFisher GmbH and Finfisher Labs GmbH should be charged with assisting torture and murder.

Flak overflow: Barrage of criticism prompts very public Stack Overflow apology

b0llchit
Facepalm

Re: he, she, it, apes and monkeys

Two thousand years of philosophy and this is your take away?

Well, yes, [he,she,it, apes and monkeys] encapsulates more than the gender discussion seen so far. That discussion has no philosophy, just self censoring and gender ranting. Some have a dick, others a hole and some both or neither. Get over it and be done with it.

b0llchit
Facepalm

he, she, it, apes and monkeys

Yes, what a load of crap. He is a monkey. She is a monkey. It is a monkey. Apes and monkeys, do /you/ see the difference? They all fight, they all eat, they all shit, they all fuck and they all die. Where is the difference?

Fairytale for 2019: GNOME to battle a patent troll in court

b0llchit
Facepalm

2+2=5

That is, for large values of two.

The US patent system in a nutshell: How persistent must a patent applicant be before the patent examiner gives up/gives in and grants a patent, regardless the contents of the patent.

Hinkley Point nuclear power station will be late and £2bn over budget

b0llchit
Flame

Re: Fixed fee?

You read that wrong. It reads: Fixed increasing fee.

That is politicianspeek for "we, the politicians, give our dear partners, the rich, gold plated conditions because they were generous to us, the politicians".

Flying priests crop-dust Russian citizens with holy water to make them stop boozing and bonking

b0llchit
Pint

Chemistry is high-flying

With that type of chemistry in their bloodstream they should be able to fly just fine. Using a plane is cheating. Real believe is doing it without earthly tools and simply praying that it works(*).

(*) Works well any way that turns out. Either it is divine proof or ceremonial bye-bye.

Wi-Fi woes and broken browser target both young and old in Microsoft patch land

b0llchit
Joke

What about

ClueBat-man?

Wake me up before you Gogo ... so I can jump out: Kenyan MP takes on aeroplane flatulence

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

Rear bags and rocket fuel

There is a case to be made here. The outgoing gas can be used to power the engines. This has the advantage of reducing the ever so bad environmental footprint of flying and can make the branch a favourable mode of transport.

Therefore, all passengers are to be fitted with rear-end bags and tubes. They will collect the precious combustibles and feed it directly into the engines. Passengers will be reimbursed on basis of the gaseous quality and quantity.

Problem solved. Problem turned into an advantage. Human nature; it is the source for our survival at 30000 feet above.

(black helicopters, what else can fly with methane?)

Time for another cuppa then? Tea-drinkers have better brains, say boffins with even better brains

b0llchit
Childcatcher

Smarts drink tea or Drink tea makes smarts

Do "smart" people drink tea or does drinking tea make you "smart"? The ever recurring discussion with this type of study. If tea really makes you "smart", then we should be making drinking tea mandatory. The less "smart" are forced to drink more tea. How else can be improve "smart"s in the general population. We all need "smart" and very "smart" must be better than not "smart". So, while we're becoming "smart", can we then start to make "smart" decisions or is that a dumb request (yes, yes, I haven't had my cuppa for the day)?

£1bn UK justice system digitisation scheme in massive delay shocker

b0llchit
FAIL

Re: "We will continue [..] working closely with our stakeholders to improve and ensure reform."

More consultants will be hired to make the project more expensive and delay it even further. It will become a perfect example and implementation of Brooks's law.

Allowlist, not whitelist. Blocklist, not blacklist. Goodbye, wtf. Microsoft scans Chromium code, lops off offensive words

b0llchit
Mushroom

Programming and computers as a casualty

I too have serious problems here. The terms HARDware and SOFTware are absolutely profane. If I say to have HARDware, then the women get offended or assume I have a viagra problem. If I say to have SOFTware, then the women will be put off or assume I have a viagra problem. Neither HARDware nor SOFTware should be used or diversity will suffer.

It is therefore suggested to ban computers and programming completely, including all words associated with the sciences of making said stuff a reality. Calling HARDware SIGNAL equipment will be misunderstood as advancement. Calling SOFTware as FIRMware will only remind us of less hard HARDware. There is no way we can solve this problem. Kill this computer stuff now! We cannot tolerate discriminatory terminology at all. Better safe than sorry.

There once was a biz called Bitbucket, that told Mercurial to suck it. Now devs are dejected, their code soon ejected

b0llchit
FAIL

Delete punishment

Delete is the punishment of outsourcing. You knew it was not going to last and yet, you went for the mercy of the outsourcerer. Next up (soon enough), idle repos will be purged, regardless underlying type.

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