Posts by Kevin Crisp

New Labour: Chainsaws out, maybe Contactpoint, too

Re: Ed Balls

Vessels "founder" not "flounder".

Real pedant out.

Germans offer MoD hope of Eurofighter postponement

Body Armour... or Books

Should our teachers be provided with body armour or school books as the top priority?

LG Renoir eight-megapixel cameraphone

Voyager

But what about the Voyager? Similar phone with a QWERTY keyboard - reviewed a year ago and never arrived on these shores.

Windows 7 early promise: Passes the Vista test

@Neil

Yep.

Arctic ice refuses to melt as ordered

@Mark

"Therefore energy coming in is finding it easy. Energy getting out is finding it hard."

Why isn't the temperature of the Earth rising significantly then?

"Or do you have trouble working out how your thermos knows whether its contents are hot or cold and so know how to keep them that way?"

I always presumed it was the thermos fairy....

Science?

"The media tendency to knee-jerkingly blame everything on "global warming" makes for an easy story - but it is not based on solid science"

Is any of the global warming crap based on science? Solid or otherwise?

IBM solves world's 'paper or plastic' crisis

Re: What?

"The speed of light does not vary because of the presence, or lack of an atmosphere."

Yes it does. Silly, silly person.

MS bashes Gay(wood) Xbox Live gamer

@Spackle @Steve

That was the most cynical comment I have read for a long time. Well done mate.

No sense of humour? Avoid Bootnotes

@ Steve Mason

SO Fucktards was YOUR fault.

It should be fuckards - this works much better; try:

"Fuck the fucking fuckards/fucktards" - the first rolls off the tongue so much more easily.

Of course, nothing can beat "fuck the fucking fuckers"

Linux Penguin - because he's the fucking greatest.

BOFH: Lift laughs

PFY Actor

The guy with the false eye from Pirates of the Caribean <check IMDB> Mackenzie Crook apparently.

Microsoft cuts Vista price

@Lozzyho and Edwin

I'm neither a kid or a Microsoft fanboi - the fact is that the best OS on the market for the home PC at the moment is probably XP followed by OSX - Vista is not as quick, stable or widely accepted as those two.

I use a Linux Distro myself, but it's not as good as XP... yet.

Please don't leave me... bitch

Empty Howling Souls

If you want to join a facebook group that is against everything that everyone is not against, and for everything that they didn't think they liked, then look at the exclusively El Reg group "We Have Empty Howling Souls"

IT problems force HMRC to extend tax deadline

Thick Users

Personally, I did my tax return last May and the site was super quick and worked perfectly.

All the fuckards who left it until today deserve their hassles.

Government rejects elephants for pets e-petition

@Tom

Surely 4 tiny elephants to walk on the back of your tortoise - and a side plate to act as a discworld?

Blu-ray outsells HD DVD 2:1 in US

Easy Solution

I see that Casino Royale High Def went on sale in HMV for £25 - the equivalent DVD was about £15.

Drop the price for all discs ro a tenner and they won't be able to make players or discs fast enough...

China hijacks Google, Microsoft, and Yahoo! traffic?

Calm Down

As a UK citizen, I am getting really pissed off with the way people treat our cousins accross the pond.

If the whining shits above want to say that China and the US are the same, I ask them this: If forced, which would you emigrate to?

I'll give you a hint, choose the one that has a free (but not perfect) media. The one where internet traffic is not redirected by the government. The one where you can call that prize idiot Dubya a prize idiot and not get imprisoned for it. How many Chinese films have been made and widely shown in China like "Faharenhit 9/11" or "Bowling for Columbine"?

Sure, the USA is not perfect but let's try and keep it in some sort of perspective.

Stem cell prof wins Nobel prize

Bush wacked

Shove that up your arse Bush.

PS we need a Dubyah icon.

Rackable starts moving ICE

No Yanking

Look chaps, we're British damn it: It's a car park, not a parking lot.

Broadbandit nabbed in Wi-Fi bust

Community Support Officers

The problem here is surely the pettifogging PCSOs, or Gauleiters as they should be called.

Masturbating lag cops 60 days' extra porridge

Well done on the IT angle

Brilliant use of "glass-enclosed master control room" to pretend there's an IT angle - keep up the good work - especially these dolphin polishing stories

Samsung parades 30in screen with DisplayPort

So how can I tell?

Given that 99 pip niner of us are looking at this piccie on a screen with a somewhat lower resolution, what's the point of showing it?

Tomorrow's world demonstrated HD TV some years ago - pointing out the beauty of the picture to the millions watching it on SD TVs.

Unless of course, you are subtly taking the piss out of yourselves, in which case yellow fizzy stuff all round.

Dell promises 'radical,' two-year metamorphosis

Re: I of I

How ironic - they got it wrong.

Microsoft pushes Office 2007 with 'try-before-you-buy'

Re: Re: Or better stil ...

You misread the comment - anon said "everything anybody is likely to need". Of course he meant "almost everything most people will ever need" then he would have been correct.

Paris Hilton dragged back into court

Back she goes

Back she goes - for the full 45 days - cool - the judge had some sense - and him an American and all.

Right - now I can enjoy my Friday night pint.