* Posts by Woza

257 posts • joined 25 Mar 2011

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Computer scientists at University of Edinburgh contemplate courses without 'Alice' and 'Bob'

Woza

Re: Totally American

My standard testing names (small volume):

Major Bloodnok

Ned Seagoon

Mad Dan Eccles

Bluebottle

Henry Crun

Minnie Bannister

etc

(Auto-correct hates me now)

Boeing 737 Max chief technical pilot charged with deceiving US aviation regulators over MCAS

Woza

Re: We asked Boeing to comment.

Missed a couplen on the bingo card:

3. We have made changes and this can never happen again

4. Safety is our highest priority

Fatal Attraction: Lovely collection, really, but it does not belong anywhere near magnetic storage media

Woza
Headmaster

"Age, experience, and cunning always trumps youthful experience.

Age, experience, cunning, and treachery always trumps youthful experience. FTFY"

Age, experience, cunning, and treachery always trumps youthful *exuberance*. FTFY.

Thanks, boss. The accidental creation of a lights-out data centre – what a fun surprise

Woza

Re: Push me

A friend I used to work with pushed the Big Red Button by accident twice within a couple of months. We bought him one of these as a leaving gift.

(His leaving was unconnected to these incidents)

Feature bloat: Psychology boffins find people tend to add elements to solve a problem rather than take things away

Woza
Windows

Re: Thus neatly explaining ...

systemd syndrome - a new entry for the DSM?

The stench of progress: Sweat may power your personal tech in the not-so-distant future

Woza

I used to play cricket with a guy whose kit had red marks from shining the ball for the whole season. At the end of the season, one of the player's wives gave this guy a box of washing powder. It wasn't until later that we wondered what could happen if he was pulled over by the cops with an unmarked plastic box of white powder...

Scottish enviro bods shrug off ransomware gang's extortion attempt as 4,000 files dumped online, saying it's nothing big

Woza
Boffin

Re: How long, I wonder

Disclaimer: I work for a company active in this area.

Filesystem encryption is common these days - bitlocker on Windows, or Veracrypt, or the Linux alternatives, etc. But that's not going to help if scumbags are logged into your system because they then see the same view of the files as you do, they're inside the file system.

There are also ways to do application level encryption, which is what you're suggesting. There are tools that will plug into Word, for example, and encrypt/decrypt stuff between Word and the disk. The problem is that this needs to be implemented on a per application basis - if your favourite CAD software doesn't have a plug-in for your chosen encryption software, you're short on luck. You also need to be careful with configuration - for example, ensuring temporary backup files created by the application are also encrypted.

Depending on your paranoia level, you also need to worry about swap files, which can contain unencrypted snapshots of files resident in your application's memory.

Finally, there's a kind of middle ground where you manually encrypt / decrypt files as needed - either on a per-file basis or in a container like Veracrypt. But that is less convenient for day-to-day workflow.

Like a good defragging? The latest Dev Channel Windows 10 might be for you

Woza
Joke

Re: Windows 10 and Parliament

But the house of commons is in an ancient legacy building with leaking pipes and dodgy wiring just waiting to go up in flames, whereas Windows...

Ohhhh, I see, carry on!

Notpetya, Olympics hacking, Novichok probe meddling... America throws the book at six alleged Kremlin hackers

Woza
Joke

Re: I don't get this

They used a buffer downhillover run

Microsoft open-sources fuzzing tool it uses in-house to keep Windows so very secure

Woza
Joke

That explains it

So Microsoft products are written using fuzzy logic?

Up from the depths, 864 servers inside, covered in slime, it's Natick!

Woza
Joke

Blue Hades

Are wondering where their game of solitaire went!

The power of Bill compels you: A server room possessed by a Microsoft-hating, Linux-loving Demon

Woza
Coat

Re: Trumpet

If we're talking Windows, does trumpet winsock count?

What a time to be alive: Floating Apple store bobs up in Singapore

Woza
Joke

Do you expect me to talk?

No Mr Bond, I expect you to buy.

A bridge too far: Passengers on Sydney's new ferries would get 'their heads knocked off' on upper deck, say politicos

Woza

Re: Thinking outside the box

The Goon show called it 65 years ago:

Seagoon:

Tell me, how do we raise the pier?

Moriarty:

Oh, don't raise the pier!

Seagoon:

What then?

Moriarty:

Lower the river!

Seagoon:

Gad! Genius! Absolute genius! But, but can you do it?

Moriarty:

Sapristi yacka-backakas of course I can. My partner, the Honourable Grytpype-Thynne is the greatest water remover in the world! Follow me!

Anti-5G-vaxx pressure group sues Zuckerberg, Facebook, fact checkers for daring to suggest it might be wrong

Woza

A wasp lands on a scorpion

Somebody's going to get stung and I don't care who!

Snortical warfare: Wild boar launches amphibious assault against German beachgoers

Woza
Flame

where's obelix

When you need him?

Icon: closest I could find to a menhir.

UK.gov to propose new rules for online political campaigns after last election marred by an avalanche of fake news

Woza

Re: "create more transparent rules for political campaigning online"

They should sew sponsors logos on their suits, like athletes. Or take a leaf out of stadium naming - like you have Etihad Stadium or the Kia Oval, could we see The Rio Tinto Prime Minister or The Boeing Defence Secretary?

Idea courtesy Robin Williams.

Google employs people to invent colours – and they think their work improves your wellbeing

Woza
Joke

Google's corporate colour name

"Eternal Beta"?

Korean boffins build COVID-bot to shove a swab right up your hooter

Woza
Joke

Hmmmm

"Boss? I have Oracle, Microsoft and many other software licencing teams on the line - they want to know how soon we can start taking orders."

Facebook's $500k deepfake-detector AI contest drama: Winning team disqualified on buried consent technicality

Woza
Joke

> Facebook must have parts that are super-anal about privacy

I have detected a fake Facebook! Where's my $500k?

Only true boffins will be able to grasp Blighty's new legal definitions of the humble metre and kilogram

Woza
Headmaster

I know what you mean, but I think it's awkward wording - it's not measured in terms of Hz, it's measured in terms of a count.

Find yourself a caesium 133 atom. Start counting transitions: 1,2,3,... When you hit 9 192 631 770, a second has passed.

Woza
Joke

and a rover crashed into Mars using both!

Splunk to junk masters and slaves once a committee figures out replacements

Woza
Joke

Re: Baffled - how does that work then?

Bzzt! Report for re-education:

"The question is, " said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be trunk - that's all."

An Internet of Trouble lies ahead as root certificates begin to expire en masse, warns security researcher

Woza
Coat

Re: What time is it, please?

If you're feeling hungry, you can partake like it's 1999.

Developers renew push to get rid of objectionable code terms to make 'the world a tiny bit more welcoming'

Woza

Re: Master changed, really?

The term "trunk" comes from a tree analogy - you have a central trunk with branches diverging off it. Of course, the analogy breaks down when you try and explain merging branches back into the trunk...

Franco-German cloud framework floated to protect European's data from foreign tech firms slurpage

Woza

Re: After the CLOUD Act it was inevitable

Yes, Prime Minister. Your wish is my cooperation.

-- Bernard Woolley

Made-up murder claims, threats to kill Twitter, rants about NSA spying – anything but mention 100,000 US virus deaths, right, Mr President?

Woza

Re: You supported a system...

It has always puzzled me why US and UK elections are held on work days. Here in Oz, elections are always on a Saturday. ( Yes, voting is mandatory here, but you could still have the election on a weekend with voluntary voting).

Of course, this system delivered us Scotty From Marketing, so is far from perfect, but still.

If someone could stop hackers pwning medical systems right now, that would be cool, say Red Cross and friends

Woza
Joke

Re: While, um, ...

A new leech field? You are Dr. Hoffmann of Stuttgart and I claim my $5.

Help your fellow IT pals spruce up their virtual meetings: Design a winning background, win Register-branded gear

Woza
Coat

Re: Easy to get to the office

No Cummings? No goings.

We really doing this again? Rumour has it that Apple is nearly finished developing augmented-reality glasses

Woza
Coat

Re: Name?

When you trip over because the AR has obscured the pavement in front of you: iFell.

Breaking virus lockdown rules, suing officials, threatening staff, raging on Twitter. Just Elon Musk things

Woza
Joke

Re: Elon Musk Is An Ass

I think a smack with a fish would be a better option!

Australian contact-tracing app sent no data to contact-tracers for at least ten days after hurried launch

Woza
Joke

not conceivable?

You keep using these words... I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

Is Vizzini working in the Australian Public Service now?

Data accessed by the US? Inconceivable!

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Woza

MicroMaud

Won't somebody please think of the children!

Woza
Big Brother

Zero Wing

All your windows boxes are belong to us.

(Aka subscription model).

Fright at the museum: Bored curators play spooky Top Trumps on Twitter over who has the creepiest object

Woza
Joke

Are you sure that's not a Daddy?

A paper clip, a spool of phone wire and a recalcitrant RS-232 line: Going MacGyver in the wonderful world of hotel IT

Woza
Joke

Truely

Swept under the rug!

Stop worrying – Larry Ellison and Prez Trump will have this whole coronavirus thing licked shortly with the power of data

Woza
Black Helicopters

Hmm

I wonder if there's a quid-pro-quo here - will we see a decision change on the Pentagon JEDI contract, replacing Amazon with Oracle?

Upstart Americans brandish alligators at the almighty Reg Standards Soviet

Woza
Joke

Get me an alligator

And make it snappy!

Mercury, the closest planet to the Sun, surely has no frozen water, right? Guess again: Solar winds form ice

Woza
Joke

When hell

Freezes over?

Some good coronavirus news: Monster Google-Oracle API copyright battle on hold as bio-nasty shuts Supremes

Woza
Joke

Re: $9bn ?

"It could even lead to cats and dogs living together! oh the humanity."

Humanity is the only reason cats and dogs live together in the first place!

Broken lab equipment led boffins to solve a 58-year-old physics problem by mistake

Woza

Re: No good enough!

Is there an opening here to define the El Reg standard potato?

As Australia is gripped by bog roll shortage, tabloid says: Here, fill your dunny with us

Woza
Joke

Re: Whole world gone to shit

Unfortunately sandpaper is in short supply, our cricket team has been panic buying.

After 1.5 million days of computer time, SETI@home heads home to probe potential signs of alien civilizations

Woza
Alien

Hope that there's intelligent life out there in space

Because there's bugger all down here on Earth.

(Thank you Monty Python)

Microsoft uses its expertise in malware to help with fileless attack detection on Linux

Woza
Joke

Re: Peter Sellers Lives!

Do you have a licaunce for that minkey server?!

Star wreck: There's a 1 in 20 chance a NASA telescope and US military satellite will smash into each other today

Woza
Coat

Re: it would be like a car hitting a shopping cart

"What's the speed limit for a shopping cart?"

African or European?

Icon: the one with coconuts in the pockets.

Good folk of Forfar: Alan Hattel would like you all to know he's not dead despite what it says on his tombstone

Woza
Coat

Re: Footie result...

Could be White Court vampires.

(The coat with Dresden Files in the pocket - another bloke with a pre-mortem grave)

IBM, Microsoft, a medley of others sing support for Google against Oracle in Supremes' Java API copyright case

Woza

Re: War over API

That comparison is faulty - this is not about *using* an API, it's about *reimplementing* an API.

You live where you live ... and ex-SAP boss Bill McDermott lives in a house like this

Woza
Joke

Re: "Of course we... totally know what a butler pantry is..."

Extra butlers... aeeves, beeves, ceeves, deeves, eeves, feeves, geeves?

(Apologies to Eddie Izzard)

The silence of the racks is deafening, production gear has gone dark – so which wire do we cut?

Woza

Re: failure to think it through

Had something similar. Small company, "server room" was a couple of racks in a small room with no emergency light. Power cut happened, cue frantic beeping from our Potato Clock, and a mad scramble (using phones as torches) to try and plug a monitor in to perform orderly shutdowns on the servers before UPS drained completely.

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