* Posts by Ivor

65 posts • joined 8 Jun 2007


Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?


Mystery of packed office solved.

Just ticking those off as I read..

Various incarnations of Palm Pilots... with docking pods.

A Dab wavefinder, simply too cool a design to discard, *Three* 3Com Audrey's, A Microwriter. er, a box full of ribbon cables.

ah... a full height 5 1/4" EDSI hard disk. and a full length full height MDA video card (with onboard parallel port! woo)

Forget One Windows, Microsoft says it's time to modernize your apps


Re: Modernise apps?

Indeed. In fact I stick to Oxford 'ize-ing' myself simply to enjoy the pleasure of irritating grammar pedants.

Holy Crap! Bloke finishes hand-built CPU project!

Thumb Up


That's got to go into the science museum.

Unicorn adopts rainbow as logo



"fount of design wisdom" or "font of design wisdom"? hmm.

Pro who killed Apple's Power Mac found... masquerading as a coffee table


aaarrgggh they could have lined up those clear rubber feet, and/or spaced them more aesthetically.


Brit AI daddy Sir David MacKay dies


A brilliant man, such a loss.

Why no one smells a RAT: Trojan uses YAHOO WEBMAIL to pick up instructions

Big Brother

and in the real world

"All of these communication techniques are unlikely to be blocked in corporate environments."

really? it's not unusual at all in most large corporates to block webmail, social networking, linked-in etc

DISPLAY DESTRUCTION D'OH! Teardown cracks Surface Pro 3 screen


Re: Why the 'Donnot bin' symbol

..because it contains a lithium battery so needs to be ripped into pieces before disposal. The fact that all components are destroyed when dismantled isn't an issue at that point.

WhatsApp founder: Believe us, internet! 'Twas a DODGY network router WOT DONE IT

Paris Hilton


"It was caused by a network router fault which cascaded into our servers."

Yeah that's a clear well explained and plausible explanation.

Reg readers tumesce as they get their tongues round 'podule'



Youtube link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTNUm-pIFmQ Zak the Alien. From 1987


Translator podule

Best pronounced a-la-Rowan Atkinson. Can't find a youtube link.. but Zak the alien had a translator podule that was malfunctioning.

Woman spanked for dissing ex in Facebook snapshot


New shirt

perhaps she can get a new shirt with the slogan "my ex-husband is a litigious shit"

'Unconvincing' Met top cop Yates: My phone was hacked

Big Brother


Ah yes, Keith Vaz. Champion of truth and honesty.


Moderatrix kisses the Reg goodbye

Paris Hilton

Fuck noooooooo

Where are the tissues.

Panasonic preps outdoor Android slate



Now if they produced one with a mode switchable e-ink screen, then that would be interesting.

PS3 telly add-on update hit by splash screen crash



PlayTV is still a pretty dismal offering considering the capabilities of the PS3 and hasn't seen any significant improvements since release. Why is there any need to "export" to XMB anyway? why isn't it all neatly integrated in the first place? why can't I schedule recordings over the internet?

Vulture falls asleep in front of Christmas TV

Paris Hilton


That's it???

No christmas banner?

No Paris angle?

No illiterate drunken posts?

What is The Register coming to?

Microsoft has shifted 1.5 million Windows phones

Paris Hilton


Isn't "number shipped by manufacturers" effectively simply the number that have been manufactured and sent to stock?

i.e. phone manufacturers aren't the ones actually retailing mobile phones? How many do you need to manufacture just to ship and stock up retailers worldwide?

Top Ten Arcade Classics



blimey. that's my childhood. all of those. just missing donkey kong.

Apple files patent for iPad weight loss

Jobs Horns

what the f*ck

That's how you make cfrp laminate. That's how everyone does it. That's how I made one last week. How the hell can this be patentable, there's nothing novel or unique in the application.

Easynet blames network collapse on dodgy router update


Three nines.

Doesn't 99.9% give them just over 8 hours in a year? what's the duration of their SLA?

PARIS nursing mother of all hangovers

Paris Hilton


Awesome! Is there any telemetry for the plane logged at all or did the gps just not function?

Microsoft Tag emerges from beta


Less information

The article a a little misleading here since the example shown doesn't contain more information itself.

The Microsoft tag only holds 105 *bits* of data, versus your example QR code (which actually would contain 440 bits or 77 alphanumeric characters not 250 as it is a 29x29 matrix assuming the lowest ECC level).

Yes there's more data available by using a tinyurl style link via Microsoft.... but you could of course do exactly the same with a QR tag.

Amazon Kindle DX


round and round

Pedantry time.... but all of my devices have 360 degree rotation. I think you might mean 180 there. :)

Linux coders do it for money


Apple reference

There's no mention of Apple in the original article. and the article and statistics are referring specifically to Linux the kernel - not "Linux" the GNU ecosystem.

Original article: "Those figures also don't include companies like Google which rely on Linux-based systems for their own technology, but tend not to contribute code back to the kernel."

Register article: "The likes of Google and Apple were notably absent from Corbet's list as, while both companies use Linux-based systems to build their tech, neither have a tendency to contribute code back to the kernel."

So whilst Apple do indeed use lots of components of the Linux environment and that's a valid point the register article could be discussing it's nothing to do with the kernel which is what this report was referring to.

Last patch train of the decade rolls in from Redmond

Big Brother

Pedantry corner

oh one more please?

You're both wrong of course. decade from the latin "decas" meaning a period of 10 years.

i.e. any 10 years.So when we say "this last decade", we are referring to the previous 10 years. We could in fact compile a list of the most pedantic posts of the last decade in the year 2012.

The designation is therefore used by well pretty much anyone - except you two of course - as a shorthand for a group of 10 years in the same "X0's" grouping. i.e. the 80's the 90's etc.

What you *should* have quibbled as professional pedantrists is that saying "the decade" is inaccurate.

Vodafone offers free mobile internet


Not hugely exciting.

It's WAP access only not mobile broadband, and only up to 25MB - so not a huge deal really.

Microsoft in Bing jingle kiddie vid outrage


other hand

er, that makes three hands.

Turkish filters block Reg commentards

Paris Hilton


so is it a matter of seeding the comments with the canceling out keywords? perhaps a little footer on the comments page with "advice and news article about apache chicken farming" etc.

Merkel rips into Google Books


Trouble with copyright...

Perhaps she should read Lawrence Lessig's Free Culture.

Startup makes thin clients look chubby



It looks like the board is an FPGA to do the decoding wired up to some VGA, network and usb hardware. So pretty much a form of remote KVM with a simple protocol to squirt the display traffic over a network.

Microsoft bribes Oz to ditch Firefox

Thumb Down


meh it just says "never find it using that browser" in konqueror.

I see they've now changed the abuse from "get lost." to "get lost..." with a rollover that says "lost in the hunt".

KOffice 2.0 available for early adopters

Paris Hilton


"when there's a perfectly good one out there."

which *one* are you referring to there? KOffice has always been rather impressive, and quite often a more *interesting* approach to the UI than openoffice which has tended to just be an MSOffice clone. Also KWord includes a text mode akin to the MSOffice draft mode. where's that in openoffice?

"Kids, there's lots of valuable software that still needs writing"

you think kids are the only ones writing open source software? which *valuable* software do you think still needs writing anyway?

BT Wholesale cuts off Prodigy Internet

Paris Hilton

@Mountford D

er actually it's quite a handy way of getting a massive discount and better offer. :)

you ring up, ask for a MAC, get passed to the retention department, they grovel, you sigh a few times and suggest a discount/few free months/new mobile phone etc and they give it to you.

everyone's happy.

probably limited to trying it once a year though I guess. :D

The world's best tech bike?

Paris Hilton


but it's got "analogue" gears. tsk. how quaint, how 2008.

"ergonomic, biometric and environmental data."

you're hurting.

you're not trying hard enough.

it's raining.

:) and it's ugly.

Paris. er something about riding.

Google silences Gmail security blogorumors

Paris Hilton

@Steven Knox

Because occasionally.... just occasionally you might not be able to be able to use https for some reason and you're prepared to take the risk of using an unsecured connection "just that once" to get at something?

or... perhaps I'm using my gmail account for a non-personal, non-private, non-sensitive, non-secret use and I'm not particularly bothered if the communications are open at all?

US Justice Dept builds microwave heat-ray 'rifle'


Mesh pants

Although everyone already knows I (proudly) wear a tin foil hat... few realise I also sport a pair of wire mesh microwave proof underpants.


Tesco causes couple condom catastrophe


@Anonymous Coward

"Get a fecking life! It's not like they got sent a dead dog in the delivery, only a packet of rubbers!"

you sir. are a fool sir.

they didn't send anything out. they added the condoms to the purchasers list of favourite items on the website as part of a marketing ruse to try and get people to buy them.

419ers crank up the menaces


@Keir Snelling

"I might even whois the sending server's ip."

er, given the reply to is an @live.com address I suspect they're sending them out that way too.

Brits won't get PS3 movie, TV downloads until 2009


@AC - Big studios...

er... and isn't Sony one of the "big six"? :)

Dissolving the plastic bag problem


FT article

Link to the previously mentioned FT article:


Heathrow T5 security tackles Transformers t-shirt threat

Paris Hilton


30 year old IT consultant wearing a Transformers T-shirt... now if they'd just said look just take it off you're embarrassing yourself...

Frameworks and the danger of a grand design

Paris Hilton

@Matt Stephens

"I'm just in this gig for the groupies anyway ;)"

There's groupies?!!! Damn no-one told me.

Paris Hilton


"...and I can't help we're falling into the "extreme programming"-type nonsense of pointing out the bleedin' obvious and selling it as revolutionary thought."

Sssssshhhh, for chrissake don't tell anyone. Damned fine money to be made.

UK.gov plans central database for all your communications


No no.... Tuttle..

not Buttle.

The Moderatrix: Exclusive boudoir snap


hubba hubba

Wahay, sign me up baBee!

What sort of comments get a whipping though? Will a bit of Martian babble do it?

Is Vista ready for Business?


@Mark Broadhurst

er I think the point is extrapolating the behaviour out.

if it causes such disastrous and inexplicable behaviour in a simple home setup what's going to happen when you let it loose on a monster behemoth of a corporate network?

Government orders data retention by ISPs

Paris Hilton

@Anonymous Coward @Alan Parsons

Yeah http://www.swedish-fanny.com doesn't resolve. http://www.swedishfanny.com on the other hand does...... :P

Paris Hilton

swedish fans

oh, don't get too excited though... :)

"swedishfanny.com for sale

as seen on Ali-G

all offers considered

send an email to - swedishfanny_at_ethicalhack.org"



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