Posts by JR

Your trainee just took down our business and has no idea how or why

Re: Whoopsie!

I put a logoff shortcut on the machine's desktop and a reboot shortcut in a 'reboot' folder on the c drive (to keep accidental reboots/shutdowns from occurring).

BOFH: The Christmas party was so good, an independent inquiry is required

Re: Plagiarism?

So do cockroaches and other vermin.

Beer for it being Friday and a holiday weekend. Merry Christmas Everyone!!

BOFH: I care a lot ... about onion bhajis

Re: It's all online nowadays

The BOFH & PFY would tweak the slideshow to make it more interesting...the wrong answers would become the correct ones. 8^D

BOFH: Who us? Sysadmins? Spend time with other departments?

Re: Internal relationship manager

Would you need to date a COTAS if HR are throwing administrative hoohas at you?

BOFH: Tech helps HR investigate the Boss's devices

Re: A thing of beauty

"Their own juices" is going to be a combination of sweat, cheap cologne/perfume, & urine...not an appetizing marinade.

BOFH: All hail the job cuts consultant

Re: "Gerard's going to recommend firing the board."

Bill the cannon/trebuchet as a reusable 'Launch Expenditure' that can be used for all kinds of new product 'launches'.

BOFH: They say you either love it or you hate it. We can confirm you're going to hate it

Re: Who said anything…

...about surgically inserted. I would opt for a ballistically insertion of said laptop, wrapped in barbed wire & Marmite and a charger with a loose wire attached to building mains.

BOFH: When the Sun rises in the West and sets in the East, only then will the UPS cease to supply uninterrupted voltage

Maybe the local authorities are keeping watch for vans coming and going from their building so they substituted the van with an "ambulance" complete with "medical personnel" and loaded with rolls of carpet, bags of lime, and spades.

Cheers!

BOFH: Postman BOFH's Special Delivery Service

Re: Back to work... NOPE

Here's the theme song for your work week. Play it loud!

https://youtu.be/geTSBFb_GR4

BOFH: I'd like introduce you to a groovy little web log I call 'That's Boss'

Re: Ooohhh ! We're back to sneakily dreadful.

Sounds like there's going to be a lot of openings (window & job) in the weeks to come.

Re: Gotta say

The beancounter's blog looked like it may have been written (or at least edited) by the BOFH/PFY. Especially when they unlocked the window at the end.

BOFH: On a sunny day like this one, the concrete dries so much more quickly

Re: ahhh 2004

I wanted to use the third pane's opening line several times with my previous PHB.

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-04-14

BOFH: Turn your server rack hotspot to a server rack notspot

Re: When your vendor provides

My favorite bit on 'Customer Service' by George Carlin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BtzaYpivFM

His Advertising bit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtK_YsVInw8

Enjoy, it's Friday!

BOFH: Buttock And Departmental Defence ... As A Service

Re: Missed opportunity

Have the counting session after giving him a special BOFH "chocolate" treat. I foresee a brownload and

massive cleanup in beancounter central giving everyone several days off for...mental anguish. I'm sure the BOFH & PFY could manage a prescription for consuming large quantities of mental bleach (lager) at the local pub, paid for by the company.

Where's the biohazard symbol?

BOFH: The trouble with, er, windows installs

Re: Database Normalisation Warning

Any window is openable at least once.

BYOD might be a hipster honeypot but it's rarely worth the extra hassle

BOFH: Mmm, gotta love me some fresh BYOD dog roll

BYOD Redefined...

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/03/20/bofh_2015_episode_3/

Deloitte is a sitting duck: Key systems with RDP open, VPN and proxy 'login details leaked'

Re: Redacted Passwords

They must use the BOFH password strategy...

From https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/02/03/bofh_2017_episode_1/

"A good thing too, because I have three passwords I use for everything – Low, Medium and High Security."

"And I'm assuming that this is low security?"

"No, work is low security, this is medium and all the personal stuff I care about is high."

"Work is LOW?!" he gasps.

"Of course it is. It used to be Medium High, but then I realised that there was no point so I just went to low. One capital, some lowercase, 2 numbers."

"Like Banana47."

"Yeah, that was our admin password for about two years."

...

BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

Re: The only committee I would be part of

It's not called skipping if you're spending the time 'contemplating' that importantish work.

Cheers, it's Friday!

After Monday's landing, SpaceX wants to do it in triplicate

Re: Betteridge's Law of Headlines may apply

This sounds familiar...(Mine's the one with a towel)

"You were quite entitled to make any suggestions or protests at the appropriate time you know."

"Appropriate time?" hooted Arthur. "Appropriate time? The first I knew about it was when a workman arrived at my home yesterday. I asked him if he'd come to clean the windows and he said no he'd come to demolish the house. He didn't tell me straight away of course. Oh no. First he

wiped a couple of windows and charged me a fiver. Then he told me."

"But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine month."

"Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anybody or anything."

"But the plans were on display ..."

"On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them."

"That's the display department."

"With a torch."

"Ah, well the lights had probably gone."

"So had the stairs."

"But look, you found the notice didn't you?"

"Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard."

BOFH: I found a flying Dragonite on a Windows 2003 domain

Do a search and download the GWX Control Panel. It's a great tool for removing the smoking Win10 grogan from your machine before it gets installed.

Engine warning light appears on Uber's $100m driver settlement

"Only problem is that, in the act of harnessing Uber, they will kill the company."

Why exactly is that a problem?

BOFH: Taking a spin in a decommissioned racer? On your own grill cam be it

Re: Nice touch...

Google's unit will probably convert itself into a drone with 'return home' flight plan built-in.

To fel with you! There's an NSA spook in my World of Warcraft

Re: Nice job...

Reminds me of a line from Monty Python & the Holy Grail...

Guard (agent): Oh, yes of course. I thought you meant him! (to other Guard/agent) You know it seemed a bit daft me having to guard him when he's a guard.

BOFH: The back-up backdown smackdown

Re: At the risk of being serious...

How did a (L)user get in here?

BOFH: The day the office budget bombed – literally

It's been a while...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/mushroom_32.png Since we've had a good maiming by an act of PFY revenge. Good Job!

Fukushima update: No chance cooling fuel can breach vessels

Facts...

Skimming through all these comments reminded me of a saying I read once...

"The facts, however interesting, are irrelevant." (Don't remember where I saw it)

That sentence summarizes the attitude/mindset of many of the commenters here as well as that of the supposed experts & talking heads spouting crap on what on what's called "The News" today.

I've heard better and more informational reporting on the local radio station.

Cheers!