* Posts by messele

145 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Mar 2011


Programmer finds way to liberate ransomware'd Google Smart TVs


Re: LG are on my shitlist, now

They have been on my shitlist since 2013, when El Reg reported that "LG smart TVs silently log owners' viewing habits to the South Korean company's servers and use them to serve targeted ads, one researcher has claimed."

So Google essentially. Got any problems with them or just when it suits?

Banks' bid to board iPhones' NFC chips rebuffed


Re: They ain't dumb Apple you know

0.15% - there's your figure.

But that is in the States (15c per $100). The percentage is actually lower in the EU.

Apple are not in the financial business, they are not in the 'spying on your phone user's every move' business. They are in the 'user convenience to shift hardware' business less anybody need reminding.


Banks + direct access to hardware

Banks with open access to ANYTHING.

Good luck with that one Australian Androidateers.

Mercedes answers autonomous car moral dilemma: Yeah, we'll just run over pedestrians


Think again, their HGVs rust even more than their passenger vehicles and their Sprinter vans rust even more than those. Surprised to be able to see the ground through the scuttle panel while changing the wiper blades? Yeah I was too.

Japanese and British all the way.

Good God, we've found a Google thing we like – the Pixel iPhone killer


Re: Awww thats sad

No you are right, Google doesn't actually sell the raw data that they are collecting from you every second of the day. More like they sell data and services derived from the common pool of data collected.

They do however still themselves know an extraordinary amount of data about anybody who routinely uses any of their services, even indirectly, and they are manoeuvring themselves into a position where they are the expert on every nuance of information about you.


Re: Fanboy alert

Except in the real world lack of OIS makes all those static lab tests utterly moot. I don't care how fancy software is, you cannot emulate a corrective lens. DxOmark has never made any sense to me.

I take it that it's underwater photography performance is just as great. Oh, you are out of date on that too DxO?


Doesn't matter how great any aspect of the physical specifications are...

...Google is and will always be HAL 9000 in your pocket and any loss of focus on this fact is a very dangerous thing.

I've lost the remote! Fury as Samsung yoinks TV control from its iOS app


The beginning of the end...hopefully.

Freedom from privacy-defying, information-slurping dumbass "smart" TV's?

I'd buy that for a dollar!

Give me the good old days when the TV set itself was a one way (incoming) portal of information. If I want to be spied on I can always buy one of your suspiciously cheap add on boxes (foreword: I don't).

Crash this beauty? James Bond's concept DB10 Aston debuts in Spectre


The Emperor's new Aston...

This modern taken on recent, beautiful Aston designs is really really disappointing...

I'm not supposed to be rooting for the bad guy but that Jaguar is simply beautiful, breathtaking in the flesh.

Who gets Teslas made and throws Apple shade? It's… MUSK!


"I'd shut it down and give the money back to the shareholders"

How did that massive underestimation work for you, Michael Dell?

The pinnacle of automotive engineering is not in consumer passenger cars, it's certainly not at Tesla.

Volkswagen used software to CHEAT on AIR POLLUTION tests, alleges US gov


...and what of the nasty diesel trucks, coaches, railway locomotives, portable electricity generators etc?

Who says anybody else is doing it, we just don't know that yet. Seems to me Volkswagen AG has been trading on this bullshit for years now which has massively promoted sales of their cars, or to put it another way, has unfairly penalised other car makers that have played by the rules.


Re: One surprise...

Partly because of the higher calorific value of heavy oil (opposed to petroleum by mass) partly due to the fact that in order to burn 'cleanly' diesel engines run at a higher temperature...

...except higher combustion temperatures has an undesirable side-effect of creating higher concentrations of oxides of nitrogen, though oxides of carbon are reduced.

The EPA have always been interested in NOx, Europe were mistakenly focussed on CO2 until recently.

VW have 'cheated' their performance figures by circumventing US laws, which gives the advantage of making their engines look more efficient, when in reality this comes about through unfair means. Plenty of other manufacturers could make engines at least as efficient if they didn't play by the rules either.

Oh, and yeah my Jag is rather efficient too but let's not let that cloud the aura of German bullshit that is all pervasive in the car industry.


Second element

We need to factor in the other element - that is consumers who were conned into buying vehicles based on a lie when they may have bought a different vehicle had they realised that these modifications will now change certain aspects. After all Americans don't exactly have a great love affair with heavy oil powered engines.

Heavy oil? That's right, not diesel as these engines were pioneered by Hubert Akroyd Stuart in Fenny Stratford, right before a cheating German took the concept and developed it as his own and it's been known by his name ever since.

Apple iPhones, iPads BRICKED by iOS 9's 'slide-to-upgrade' bug


Re: A particular favorite...

You might think of legacy password protected backups as an inconvenience. I think of Apples methods as solid and secure.

Are you saying you WANT ported user libraries to crumbly simply by moving them to a new device?




In conclusion then the number of users affected is probably a percentage rounding error at worst.

Still, I suppose a "tech professional" news site has to have something to go on, after all you wouldn't rely solely on mocking users for backing up before performing a major OS upgrade to get your click bait ad revenue...

...would you?

Look out, world! Apple is about to launch .apple


Re: Boring

Can't blame them for relying ever more on click bait to prop up flagging ad revenues.

Apple fanbois cry (bless) as site motionless during iPhone 6S pre-order wrest


I had no problems pre-ordering at 8am and it appears to be fine to me the rest of the day...I mean it's not like I've been banging the refresh key the last 12 hours but...


I guess that means the perverseness of Adblock means El Reg missed a DD and got cut off temporarily?

Wheely, wheely mad: Petrolheads fume over buggy Formula One app


Re: Techno-wannabees

That's weird since the KERS system in LMP-1 Audis is actually the old Williams inertia system that they abandoned in F1 years ago.

Vorsprung Durch Bullshit...

Bigotry posted by your Facebook account? Use this, Mister UKIP MP wannabe: 'I was hacked'


Since when was being a bigot a bad thing?

An intolerance towards those who hold a different opinion or belief to your own?

By that measure the Author is a blatant bigot.

LEAKED: Samsung's iPhone 6 killer... the Samsung Galaxy S6


Re: Samsung makes Great hardware, but ...

To be fair Android is fantastic if you really are an enthusiast or you do not mind faffing about with the thing to keep it on the rails...all day every day it seems.

But no, for most iOS does tick the more relevant boxes. In my experience many people just really could not care less about bleeding edge software features that don't work that brilliantly.

Just look at the furore surrounding Apple maps - and now it's a great, really useful piece of software hence why nobody talks about it anymore.


Re: "If leaks are real, Apple is in trouble"

"Why Samsung is suddenly going to reverse it's inevitable decline into loss-making also ran with one weird old Chinese trick"

Wasn't the waterproofing from last year's model a killer feature (anybody still got their USB bung attached to the phone by the way?) along with 16 MEGACORZ or whatever the processor trick was.

Conversely what happened to all the "ZOMG doesn't anybody know 64-bit just gives more memory" iPhone software gimmickry claims?

French Google fund to pay for 1 million print run of Charlie Hebdo next week


Re: Thanks to Google

Thanks to Google? Why should Google get any credit for this. They made no conscious decision to partake in this at all. What a joke!

No, Google rightfully copped it for their usual business practice of distributing other peoples work for free, thus denying them their rightful earnings for their own work while Google creams ad revenue from it.

The fund was set up to benefit the publishing / journalistic industry in any way they see fit. Anybody who sees this as some heroic act by Google is as deluded as those Muslim nut jobs and their Koran hatred guide to the world.

Metrics house hails Apple DOMINANCE of X-Mas phone 'n' slab sales


Re: "more consumers are switching to the larger phone"

"Apple's new phone forced everyone buying a new iPhone to the larger screensize. If you wanted the new shiny shiny, then the only option was the larger phone size, or the small phablet size of the 6 Plus."

That'll be besides the 5c and 5s that Apple will still happily sell you (new) so there is this actual thing called choice at different price levels.

But...but...but... They are not a new design. Well no, obviously but they are still very capable phones and probably of not dissimilar performance, in the case of the 5s at least, once the bigger screen of the 6 and 6 plus have been factored in.

iPhone sales set to PLUMMET: Bleak times ahead for Apple


Peak Hamill?

...no, just kidding folks. This tabloid gutter snipe clown flatlined years ago.

Daily Mail headhunters not been in touch yet then?

Be real, Apple: In-app goodie grab games AREN'T FREE – EU



"Free" apps are absolutely "Free" and we should not need a bunch of Bureaucrats to muddy the situation for the simple reason that citizens cannot exercise a bit of self control, or in the case of parents, bother themselves to set up a few basic controls for in-app purchases.

If something is acquired that did not cost money or does not require money to be spent in order to function then it is free. Simple as.

Changing a word to an ambiguous, far more confusing word, only serves to give people the false impression that the situation has been fixed and they have no responsibility themselves when all this has done is make EVERYBODY potentially confused as to whether "Get" means it will cost money by taping that icon or not.

OFFICIAL: Fondling of Apple's slab declines – iPad sales DOWN in Q3


Re: Or

Ah the good old German quality myth. Any signs of rotten sills yet?

I've never seen the sense in flooding the market with product that ultimately doesn't turn the manufacturer a profit, especially since the only benefactor from a large user base is Google themselves, all the hardware manufacture has is the headache of support and warranty issues.

There's something very wrong in giving away a free tablet with a smartphone on contract or (as I note with Currys right now) a £20 discount on a £100 tablet, which after the discount, VAT, the retailers margin and import duty have all been knocked off must enter the UK for all of about 40 quid.


So long, thanks for all the ...er, FISH BRIGHTER than boffins thought


Deep Sea?

"Researchers from the University of Bath joined forces with London's Queen Mary University to work out how zebrafish perceive their deep sea surroundings."

They probably perceive them as a tad cold, dark and salty seeing as Danio are a temperate freshwater species...

Apple tool: Buying an iPhone in a carpark? Find out if it's STOLEN


Re: I can see what you're trying to do here El Reg.

Who's the more tool-ish; the tool or the tool who follows them (or the tool who follows them)?

Not pro Bono: Apple's audio junk mail made spammers' lives easier


Well this is bollocks

It's not as if they planted it on any device, but let's not let facts get in the way of rolling our sleeves up to give that barrel a good ol' scrape.

Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched


Re: Morbid.

I don't think Tim Cook is weird. What I do think is weird is somebody having the thought in their head of producing that piece of artwork and then taking the time to actually sit down and live out their fantasy.

That's REALLY creepy.

I'll be sure to point Luca Cordero di Montezemolo this way so he can cleanse the DNA of the company in his stewardship and clear out Enzo Ferrari's office (preserved since 1988) to appease you weirdos.

Would Apple godhead Steve Jobs have HATED the Watch?


No-mark journalist speculates on dead mans thoughts that nobody could possibly know on a product that he's not seen or used himself, or can even get the name right of.

Does spite directly correlate with revenue from those ad impressions?

DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR? New leccy BMWs have flimsy password security – researcher


What, you mean the laminated glass that every car on the planet has had for decades?

Keep telling yourself that BMW's are somehow special. They're far from it.

Watch: Kids slam Apple as 'BORING, the whole thing is BORING'


Built into a beige case with all the beauty of a wet Milton Keynes morning

Both the Apple II and Milton Keynes were somewhat revolutionary in 1977. Compared to lesser objects of desire in the late '70's, like your mum, both were, and still are, things of beauty.

Rain just makes things even better.

Faster Macbook Air pops out: What, a NEW Apple thing and ZERO fanfare?


Meanwhile in his parent's spare bedroom...

Trashy wanna-be hack plunges slightly deeper to find a negative spin on a story that anybody else responded "more for less, I have no problem with that" to.

Target audience brand him a petty, worthless twat and lazy journalist*.

More for less.

*If sitting around in your underpants regurgitating shit that you found elsewhere on the internet infused with your own brand of spiteful vomit counts as a career these days.

Apple stuns world with rare SEVEN-way split: What does that mean?


Re: Translation

Bit weird how the entire IT industry readership seems to be a single mass of borderline Aspergers golf-clapping bitter fuckwits though isn't it?

CEO Tim Cook sweeps Apple's inconvenient truths under a solar panel


Glad to hear you are all posting your scorn from your soy protein bio degradable suparkomputers.

Let's hear about The Registers efforts to improve anything, I'm not looking for a miracle, just anything.

Thought not, what a load of hypocritical pricks.

UK.gov chucks £28m at F1 tech for buses and diggers plan


Re: Cue the bus fans complaining...

I have and I do so that blows your sweeping generalisation out of the water.

Apple fanbois eat static as Beeb, Sky web stream vids go titsup on iOS


Re: Fixed on iPlayer?

Yes same here. BBC have completed the necessary (DRM related?) work, Sky have not.

Anybody still think it's anything to do with iOS?

Dashboard Siri! Take me to the airport! NO, NOT the RUNWAY! Argh!


Anybody who doesn't like it can always buy an Audi.

No, but seriously everybody around you will quietly think you are an utter bellend.

Daimler hints at Android-powered telematics in future cars


Re: Daimler, not Daimler-Benz

Try "Daimler AG"

...so as not to get confused with the much longer established "Daimler Company Ltd." of England which was most certainly not founded by Gottleib Daimler.

Apple fanbois DENIED: Mac Pro deliveries stalled until April



How many click bait posts does it take to 'earn' a fully loaded Darth Vader dustbin?

Answer please on the back of a postcard - and just toss 'em in your dark side receptacle.

Stephen Fry rewrites computer history again: This time it's serious


Re: The Reg...

Yeah, but no, but yeah...

So anyway, that aside you didn't answer the questions. Obviously the first one was too difficult but regarding the second.

"Is this intended to wind Fry up so he says something publicly in a sad bid to garner publicity?"

We all know he's a sensitive chap, so c'mon fellas it's near the end of the month. How are those quotas looking?


Fry may have got it wrong but so did Orlowski.

Chris Miller posted the correct version - as told by those actually present but you were all too busy having a go at Stephen Fry and tapping at anti-BBC rhetoric to read what he said weren't you?

Gates were NOT in the OS business when they started dealings with IBM. They were pitching their application software to them.

The story involves Gary Kildall, his wife, his lawyers, Tim Paterson of Seattle Computer Products. The suits of IBM and of course Bill Gates. If you do not mention the role of all of these people then you do not know the story. That doesn't really make you any better than Stephen Fry when you preach as you do.

First I've heard of any mental health issues though...

Elderly Bletchley Park volunteer sacked for showing Colossus exhibit to visitors


Ok who had Apple on the first page on their 'Irrelevant Bingo' card?

Apple: That 'white screen of death' nightmare? We'll fix it... AT SOME POINT


My beta of 7.1 doesn't do it but then again nor did 7.0.4

Is it a big problem or is the tea kitty running low and it's Hamill's turn to 'put in'?

Apple coughs up 7 hours of profit to refund kids' $32.5m app spend spree


Re: Ow...

...and the punchline to your joke is?

Samsung snafu at CES causes Michael Bay meltdown


"So tell me what you think about our new marketing gimmick"...

..."Fucked if I know, the autocue broke and your PR guy only handed me the cheque five minutes ago".

Samsung whips out 12.2-inch 'Professional' iPad killers


No focus

Yet again no focus, no realisation as to why there was a mass exodus to the tablet for the general use.

I guess we can plainly see which of the turds that Samsung threw stuck to the wall this time round.

Google and Apple in DRAG RACE: It's fanboi Mercs VS fandroid Audis


Re: for fucks sake

Yeah but it is a BMW to be fair, had to be owned by a wanker, right?


Be interesting to see how much further Audi can plummet until they officially reach 'junk status'.


Right around Citroen. Nice work boys!