Posts by Eponymous Bastard

Study: How Amazon uses Echo smart speaker conversations to target ads

Re: Bears in a forest

Which is about as absorbent as tracing paper from memory, but hey, it had the word medicated printed on it !

Russia's invasion of Ukraine tears open political rift between cybercriminals

Re: 'enemies of Russia'

Indeed, and well said l_r_f . Call me a cynic, I am often called far worse and delight that I have caused such offence to elicit said response. Is the net zero frenzy driven, at least in part, by those who seek to deny the element of control over fossil fuel production which lies in the Middle East? In the light of Putin's aggression might the same net zero zealots want to consider how we are expected to produce electricity on a dull windless day in December in the UK without some form of energy production which can remain constant. Maybe nucular as a Bush would have described it . . . I'll need my fucking coat soon.

Microsoft gives tablets some love in latest Windows 11 build

Wanker is a very English word isn't it, so hopefully the emoji would be able to leave nobody in any doubt as to its meaning. I enjoy a new gesture whilst driving these days and offended by another driver's behaviour. It involves clenching my fist and moving it away from my mouth as if performing fellatio; but it might appear that I am simply stifling a yawn.

Poor data sharing is holding back the UK court system's pandemic recovery, says National Audit Office

GDPR

Err, doesn't the whole clusterfuck that is GDPR provide the new Berlin Wall to data sharing? No, not because the legislation actually prevents it, although it may well do, but because its interpretation, as loaded a word as "assumption" nowadays, is a fucking minefield.

Tesla slams into reverse, pulls latest beta of Full Self-Driving software from participating car owners

Smokescreen

We might have to wait until the Musk's doobie has been fully pulled to extinguishment . . .

I'll get my gas mask.

UK and chums call out Chinese Ministry of State Security for Hafnium Microsoft Exchange Server attacks

Re: How did they find out it was China?

I imagine that those pointing their fingers have access to rather more sophisticated tools than Whois . . .

I'll get my foil coat to repel the heat which is not uncommon in July in the UK.

What happens when cancel culture meets Adolf Hitler pareidolia? Amazon decides it needs a new app icon

Charlie Chaplin anyone?

I have always maintained that anyone who has a problem with the toothbrush moustache should have a look at the 'tache Charlie Chaplin sported some years before 'dolf got his unterhose in a twist.

'Incorrect software parameter' sends Formula E's Edoardo Mortara to hospital: Brakes' fail-safe system failed

1988 Airbus 320 . . .

Planes crashed.

Brexit freezes 81,000 UK-registered .eu domains – and you've all got three months to get them back

TLDidn't give a fuck

Who cares?

How many "average" web users even bother looking at tlds?

Very few, if any of the media reports of successful phishing exploits are to be believed.

SpaceX Starship blows up on landing, Elon Musk says it's the data that matters and that landed just fine

Dope fiend

Musk is dope fiend who thinks he's above the law and gets away with slander. Why waste your time and $$$ on a prick like that?

UK union pens letter to data watchdog on icky workplace monitoring systems like Microsoft's Productivity Score

Doing a deal with the devil, or maybe Jesus?

I have no doubt that the Redmond retards sold the whole MS clusterfuck of apps, namely Sharepoint, Teams, O365 and OneDrive to cunts like my employer on the basis of insidious monitoring tools being available. I used to get productivity bollocks emails from some centralised shit spammer which told me how much time I had available for collaboration or some other bullshit until I unsubscribed. That was all the time I wasn't sitting at my fucking desk interacting with shit like Teams because I don't sit at my fucking desk all the time staring at Teams you fucktards! The dorks who get paid 6 figure salaries at my workplace probably don't even know how to do a fucking sum in Excel or make a table in Word - although to be fair that is still challenging for those with an IQ of less than 120 and I do work in higher education. They like using Excel with pretty colours though, mainly pastels, nice.

Why did Apple hamstring camera repairs on standard iPhone 12 but leave Pro Max module swappable? asks engineering group

Re: Hang on

Indeed. Until recently Sony was clearly of the opinion that no-one using a smartphone wanted to or needed to shoot raw which was one of the reasons I moved on from my XZ which was excellent in all other respects. No-one really wants to edit a jpg, any more than anyone wants to edit an mp3 or any other compressed i.e. compromised file format. Given that smartphone manufacturers are keen to appeal to photographers by providing manual modes which enable selection of shutter speed and ISO whilst still rather limiting aperture control - I assume because of manufacturing limitations - raw capture should be a given I think.

I'll get my film covered coat.

Putting the d'oh! in Adobe: 'Years of photos' permanently wiped from iPhones, iPads by bad Lightroom app update

It's not funny . . .

LMAO

We Kana believe it! Raspberry Pi Foundation launches Japanese keyboard

Why?

I fail to understand why so much spleen is vented at such a remarkable British computer success story.

It's only an HID ffs.

Cornwall councillor suggests authority paid £2m for Oracle licences that no one used on contract originally worth £4m

This is the Council that has suggested . . .

I quote from a report on the BBC's news website:

A draft version of the Cornwall Economic Recovery and Renewal Plan was presented to the council’s economic growth and development overview and scrutiny committee on Tuesday.

Councillor Richard Robinson said there was "a stamp of Orwellianism that worries me somewhat".

He drew attention to one recommendation which states: “We should not allow a rise in traffic back to levels we had previously, cycling and walking should take precedence.”

Now this would all be fine if there were adequate traffic free routes between the major - and boy they are becoming major - conurbations but there are not and it's unlikely that there can ever be. What impact do these idiots think their ideas about "traffic levels" would have on tourism for example. Many of us living here would love it if the emmets would just fuck off, but many do depend on their patronage for their livelihood.

Cornwall County Council is a shambles and much of my council tax is spunked on pointless "initiatives" so I am not surprised to read this article.

Huawei's latest smartphone for the UK market costs £1,299. And yes, that's without Google apps

Banking?

No Google, no banking apps? TBH they're the most useful things on my Note and I would miss them too much to abandon the "horrors" of the Chocolate Factory. Apple is anathema.

Apple updates iPad Pro with a trackpad, faster processor. Is it a real computer now?

Nah . . .

. . . still Fisher Price.

All that Samsung users found on UK website after weird Find my Mobile push notification was... other people's details

Note9 & Tab S3

Spotted this this morning. Thought I'd stroked something by mistake, dismissed it, forgot about it until I saw this, suffered no involuntary sphincter contraction. Goodnight.

Microsoft Teams starts February with a good, old-fashioned TITSUP*

Sucks

Where I work we're being encouraged to "embrace the modern office" which includes Teams. I fucking loathe it. We've managed without it for years. I hope it stays borked or can be further borked by some little dweeb out there. I don't even want to think about privacy when it comes to all the data Redmond can slurp.

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson moves to shut Parliament

Re: Two-faced hypocritical sacks of human excrement

Well said. Will you marry me?

Zenophobic - vous?

Re: Oh really

And business is not at all selfish?

No, it has ruined most things - sport comes to mind - and is pretty much as divisive as religion without which the world would be a much more harmonious place.

Re: So, to sum up. . .

Well a majority voted to leave and I suspect some of them have bigger fists than the minority who voted to remain. So stick that up your sphincter sed gawk.

Re: So, to sum up. . .

If you believed that slogan then you are an imbecile and should be denied a vote.

Re: So, to sum up. . .

Stand up then you prick!

Re: Benito Jonsolini

Well if you don't like living here with people like me you can fuck off and live in the shit hole that is across the Channel.

On the seventh anniversary of Steve Jobs' death, we give you 7 times he served humanity and acted as an example to others

7 times a cunt

I always thought he was a total cunt. Now I know he was a total cunt. He's a dead cunt; they're the only kind of decent cunt.

Python joins movement to dump 'offensive' master, slave terms

No offence

Fucker and fucked? Surely that can't even offend your granny if she watches TV after the watershed or walks past a school in the UK when it's home time.

Apple sees the (augmented) light, buys holo-glass tech startup

Paul O'Grady in disguise?

Has Tim Cook morphed into Paul O'Grady, or vice-versa.

It's Latin.

I'll get my Aquascutum.

£1 in every fiver that UK biz, public sector spent on software in 2017 went to *drumroll* Microsoft

%$£

Well thank fuck it didn't go to Apple because it would have bought a lot less.

EU wants one phone plug to rule them all. But we've got a better idea.

Nanny - 1st world problem - or maybe an issue for the Social Justice Warriors / crusties

Why do we need even more nanny state from those pricks in Brussels? Can't they spend some of the obscene amounts of money they spunk on ridiculous projects like trying to curtail climate change on helping people in the 3rd world have fresh water and somewhere safe to take a shit?

BT bets farm on consumers: Announces one network to rule 'em all

Re: Makes a mockery of the CMA decision that EE and BT operate is distinct and different markets

I quite enjoy skipping between BT, EE & Plusnet for my broadband & taking advantage of whichever sweetener they're offering in the knowledge that my broadband will still be 80mbps down & 20mbps up & that my 4G will be available on Bodmin Moor in case I get bored of the scenery; which is unlikely. Living in the Republic of Kernow has its advantages, but it's full so don't even think about moving here any time soon.

Pasties in SPAAAAACE: Cornwall hopes for slice of £50m spaceport cash

The University of Exeter, in Cornwall

The University of Exeter has a presence in Cornwall at Penryn where it shares a Campus with Falmouth University so I think that is what was meant. The University transports some of its staff around in large cars with UOE number plates; very nouveau riche. If you follow the link you included in your piece . . . .

Prisoners built two PCs from parts, hid them in ceiling, connected to the state's network and did cybershenanigans

Nice pun

"meaningful and rehabilitative programming". Were they going to learn Fortran?

Crack in black: Matte iPhones losing paint at alarming rate, gripe fans

Just like another "arrogant" brand

Hasselblad have had a similar problem keeping paint on their cameras. Perhaps DJI can make the company fly. IWGMC

Modular dud drags LG to first loss in six years

Re: Ever had an LG phone?

My LG G4 is by far and away the best Smartphone I have ever had and I have owned Samsungs, a Motorola and two HTCs. The LG smartwatch I have is still working after over 2 years of daily use. Maybe you were unlucky. My Samsung S4's on/off switch failed after less than two years and the other one I owned suffered badly from dust ingress. I like to be able to stick a micro SDXC card in my 'phone and replace the battery if I want to. Have a lovely weekend.

Sound-mufflers chuck acoustic sleep blanket at the noise-plagued

Noise

Or we could just give the police the right to tell your selfish neighbour to shut the fuck up or go to jail - now. I dream of all the selfish cunts in this world suffering unimaginable pain in the next or even better instant retribution. Selfishness is one of the greatest malignancies blighting the 21st century and if there is a god then it's failing to wipe out the selfish. No wonder I'm an atheist.

LG: Stop focusing on Apple and Samsung. There's us. And our G5. Look at it. Look at it

...and the battery life HAS NEVER BEEN a constant worry ...

The battery life has never been a constant worry on my G4 which I have had since last June, and the 'phone is running Marshmallow, having received an OTA update, on an EE 4g contract. The camera is the best I have ever had on a 'phone and I love the dng option. The screen is amazing, I can swap out the battery, I have a 64gb card in it. What's not to like? I won't buy another Samsung 'phone as the two I have had have been a disappointment. The Tocco - remember that? - suffered from chronic dust ingress and the S4's power switch failed after less than 2 years - POS - and the camera was shite. My G4 could be a keeper.

Windows 10 will now automatically download and install on PCs

Get over it.

Get over it fanbois.

Yet another Android app security bug: This time 'everything is affected'

Bored with this . .

. . because none of the journalists seems to be able to tell us how these exploits can happen. Side-loading? Dodgy wif-fi? What the fuck? Answers anyone?

Budget UHD TVs arrive – but were the 4Kasts worth listening to?

The sound

Personally, I find the additional improvement in sound quality worth paying the extra for with Blu-ray. Also, new release Blu-ray discs are now not much more expensive than the DVD equivalent, so what's the point in buying the DVD? IWGMC to protect myself from the downvote storm.

Another day, another stunning security flaw in Android – this time hitting 55% of mobes

Devil in the detail

So, can someone tell me if this can happen if I install an app from the Play Store or is it only possible via side-loading. If it's the latter, WTF.

Photo finesse: Eyefi Mobi Pro Wi-Fi SD card

"whether that is in-body or via a hot-shoe accessory for techno-laggards like Canon."

Pray, to what kind of hot-shoe (sic) accessory do you allude Mark 65? I don't have any problem tethering Canon DSLRs via Capture One.

YOUR DATA could be SOLD in RadioShack's bankruptcy auction

Tandy

I miss Tandy :( There was a store in Royal Parade in Plymouth where I could buy components and tools made out of something softer than chocolate. They used to send me a newspaper thing in the post every now and again with computer type stuff in it at crazy prices. Happy days.

Wind turbine blown away by control system vulnerability

PV

As PV or Solar Farms as the f**king tree huggers call them are spreading across Cornwall, I wonder how long it will be before someone hacks these for "fun". The sites look like concentration camps with their fences and CCTV. The only benefit is that they are wildlife havens although I expect they do manage to generate a couple of megawatts . . . which cannot be stored. Why not divert some of the millions wasted on AGW research towards energy storage. I will get my coat as it's still quite chilly here.

£100 MILLION poured down drain on failed UK.gov IT projects - in just ONE YEAR

Waste

Haha, too many people here are getting their knickers in a twist. Just think how much the government can waste trying to "fix" "climate change" - ****ing billions!

Dashboard Siri! Take me to the airport! NO, NOT the RUNWAY! Argh!

Distractions

Do drivers need any more distractions, any more displays, any more things with which to fiddle while they hog lane three at 90mph in pouring rain?

El Reg BuzzFelch: 10 Electrical Connectors You CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!

Re: What about the first universal power supply outlet?

Good shout. I know someone who has one of these on the front of his PC so he could light his "cigarettes" with one of those glow plug jobs which every car used to have.

I've seen the future of car radio - and DAB isn't in it

Distraction

More distractions with which the driver can fiddle - great.