Posts by Eponymous Bastard

Huawei's latest smartphone for the UK market costs £1,299. And yes, that's without Google apps

Banking?

No Google, no banking apps? TBH they're the most useful things on my Note and I would miss them too much to abandon the "horrors" of the Chocolate Factory. Apple is anathema.

Apple updates iPad Pro with a trackpad, faster processor. Is it a real computer now?

Nah . . .

. . . still Fisher Price.

All that Samsung users found on UK website after weird Find my Mobile push notification was... other people's details

Note9 & Tab S3

Spotted this this morning. Thought I'd stroked something by mistake, dismissed it, forgot about it until I saw this, suffered no involuntary sphincter contraction. Goodnight.

Microsoft Teams starts February with a good, old-fashioned TITSUP*

Sucks

Where I work we're being encouraged to "embrace the modern office" which includes Teams. I fucking loathe it. We've managed without it for years. I hope it stays borked or can be further borked by some little dweeb out there. I don't even want to think about privacy when it comes to all the data Redmond can slurp.

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson moves to shut Parliament

Re: Two-faced hypocritical sacks of human excrement

Well said. Will you marry me?

Zenophobic - vous?

Re: Oh really

And business is not at all selfish?

No, it has ruined most things - sport comes to mind - and is pretty much as divisive as religion without which the world would be a much more harmonious place.

Re: So, to sum up. . .

Well a majority voted to leave and I suspect some of them have bigger fists than the minority who voted to remain. So stick that up your sphincter sed gawk.

Re: So, to sum up. . .

If you believed that slogan then you are an imbecile and should be denied a vote.

Re: So, to sum up. . .

Stand up then you prick!

Re: Benito Jonsolini

Well if you don't like living here with people like me you can fuck off and live in the shit hole that is across the Channel.

On the seventh anniversary of Steve Jobs' death, we give you 7 times he served humanity and acted as an example to others

7 times a cunt

I always thought he was a total cunt. Now I know he was a total cunt. He's a dead cunt; they're the only kind of decent cunt.

Python joins movement to dump 'offensive' master, slave terms

No offence

Fucker and fucked? Surely that can't even offend your granny if she watches TV after the watershed or walks past a school in the UK when it's home time.

Apple sees the (augmented) light, buys holo-glass tech startup

Paul O'Grady in disguise?

Has Tim Cook morphed into Paul O'Grady, or vice-versa.

It's Latin.

I'll get my Aquascutum.

£1 in every fiver that UK biz, public sector spent on software in 2017 went to *drumroll* Microsoft

%$£

Well thank fuck it didn't go to Apple because it would have bought a lot less.

EU wants one phone plug to rule them all. But we've got a better idea.

Nanny - 1st world problem - or maybe an issue for the Social Justice Warriors / crusties

Why do we need even more nanny state from those pricks in Brussels? Can't they spend some of the obscene amounts of money they spunk on ridiculous projects like trying to curtail climate change on helping people in the 3rd world have fresh water and somewhere safe to take a shit?

BT bets farm on consumers: Announces one network to rule 'em all

Re: Makes a mockery of the CMA decision that EE and BT operate is distinct and different markets

I quite enjoy skipping between BT, EE & Plusnet for my broadband & taking advantage of whichever sweetener they're offering in the knowledge that my broadband will still be 80mbps down & 20mbps up & that my 4G will be available on Bodmin Moor in case I get bored of the scenery; which is unlikely. Living in the Republic of Kernow has its advantages, but it's full so don't even think about moving here any time soon.

Pasties in SPAAAAACE: Cornwall hopes for slice of £50m spaceport cash

The University of Exeter, in Cornwall

The University of Exeter has a presence in Cornwall at Penryn where it shares a Campus with Falmouth University so I think that is what was meant. The University transports some of its staff around in large cars with UOE number plates; very nouveau riche. If you follow the link you included in your piece . . . .

Prisoners built two PCs from parts, hid them in ceiling, connected to the state's network and did cybershenanigans

Nice pun

"meaningful and rehabilitative programming". Were they going to learn Fortran?

Crack in black: Matte iPhones losing paint at alarming rate, gripe fans

Just like another "arrogant" brand

Hasselblad have had a similar problem keeping paint on their cameras. Perhaps DJI can make the company fly. IWGMC

Modular dud drags LG to first loss in six years

Re: Ever had an LG phone?

My LG G4 is by far and away the best Smartphone I have ever had and I have owned Samsungs, a Motorola and two HTCs. The LG smartwatch I have is still working after over 2 years of daily use. Maybe you were unlucky. My Samsung S4's on/off switch failed after less than two years and the other one I owned suffered badly from dust ingress. I like to be able to stick a micro SDXC card in my 'phone and replace the battery if I want to. Have a lovely weekend.

Sound-mufflers chuck acoustic sleep blanket at the noise-plagued

Noise

Or we could just give the police the right to tell your selfish neighbour to shut the fuck up or go to jail - now. I dream of all the selfish cunts in this world suffering unimaginable pain in the next or even better instant retribution. Selfishness is one of the greatest malignancies blighting the 21st century and if there is a god then it's failing to wipe out the selfish. No wonder I'm an atheist.

LG: Stop focusing on Apple and Samsung. There's us. And our G5. Look at it. Look at it

...and the battery life HAS NEVER BEEN a constant worry ...

The battery life has never been a constant worry on my G4 which I have had since last June, and the 'phone is running Marshmallow, having received an OTA update, on an EE 4g contract. The camera is the best I have ever had on a 'phone and I love the dng option. The screen is amazing, I can swap out the battery, I have a 64gb card in it. What's not to like? I won't buy another Samsung 'phone as the two I have had have been a disappointment. The Tocco - remember that? - suffered from chronic dust ingress and the S4's power switch failed after less than 2 years - POS - and the camera was shite. My G4 could be a keeper.

Windows 10 will now automatically download and install on PCs

Get over it.

Get over it fanbois.

Yet another Android app security bug: This time 'everything is affected'

Bored with this . .

. . because none of the journalists seems to be able to tell us how these exploits can happen. Side-loading? Dodgy wif-fi? What the fuck? Answers anyone?

Budget UHD TVs arrive – but were the 4Kasts worth listening to?

The sound

Personally, I find the additional improvement in sound quality worth paying the extra for with Blu-ray. Also, new release Blu-ray discs are now not much more expensive than the DVD equivalent, so what's the point in buying the DVD? IWGMC to protect myself from the downvote storm.

Another day, another stunning security flaw in Android – this time hitting 55% of mobes

Devil in the detail

So, can someone tell me if this can happen if I install an app from the Play Store or is it only possible via side-loading. If it's the latter, WTF.

Photo finesse: Eyefi Mobi Pro Wi-Fi SD card

"whether that is in-body or via a hot-shoe accessory for techno-laggards like Canon."

Pray, to what kind of hot-shoe (sic) accessory do you allude Mark 65? I don't have any problem tethering Canon DSLRs via Capture One.

YOUR DATA could be SOLD in RadioShack's bankruptcy auction

Tandy

I miss Tandy :( There was a store in Royal Parade in Plymouth where I could buy components and tools made out of something softer than chocolate. They used to send me a newspaper thing in the post every now and again with computer type stuff in it at crazy prices. Happy days.

Wind turbine blown away by control system vulnerability

PV

As PV or Solar Farms as the f**king tree huggers call them are spreading across Cornwall, I wonder how long it will be before someone hacks these for "fun". The sites look like concentration camps with their fences and CCTV. The only benefit is that they are wildlife havens although I expect they do manage to generate a couple of megawatts . . . which cannot be stored. Why not divert some of the millions wasted on AGW research towards energy storage. I will get my coat as it's still quite chilly here.

£100 MILLION poured down drain on failed UK.gov IT projects - in just ONE YEAR

Waste

Haha, too many people here are getting their knickers in a twist. Just think how much the government can waste trying to "fix" "climate change" - ****ing billions!

Dashboard Siri! Take me to the airport! NO, NOT the RUNWAY! Argh!

Distractions

Do drivers need any more distractions, any more displays, any more things with which to fiddle while they hog lane three at 90mph in pouring rain?

El Reg BuzzFelch: 10 Electrical Connectors You CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!

Re: What about the first universal power supply outlet?

Good shout. I know someone who has one of these on the front of his PC so he could light his "cigarettes" with one of those glow plug jobs which every car used to have.

I've seen the future of car radio - and DAB isn't in it

Distraction

More distractions with which the driver can fiddle - great.

Haswell micro: Intel’s Next Unit of Computing desktop PC

Re: Strange

Never mind bless you. Make yourself a nice warm drink and head off to bed with a good book. Nighty night!

@ 2 x AC - Cold water

Careful, or I'll pour cold water over your tiny erection. Every man needs a small garden shed after all does he not?

But it will be a Mac . . . .

. . . . so it will be made from Satan's DNA . . . .

Britain's costliest mistake? Lord Stern defends his climate maths

Hot air

It's all hot air, and what a lovely mild winter we're having? I hope all those warmist freaks fall on their swords when the next ice age sets in. No they won't, because they are spineless liberal retards who probably eat too many vegetables and create more than their fair share of hahaha "greenhouse" gases via flatulence and whilst driving their fucking hybrid vehicles with their precious little retardlets strapped into the back smearing saliva over their fucking iPads. Yeah, coz it's their prerogative to breed isn't it? Unchecked population growth is the biggest "threat" facing planet earth. Even pseudo-intelligent people acknowledge that. look forward to reacquainting myself with a Lee Enfield 303.

IT bods: Windows XP, we WON'T leave you. Migrate? Chuh! As if...

Re: I believe it

Rubbish! I chose not to "sign in" to my Live account and I can install anything I want on my Windows 8.1 machine. Suggest you get your facts right before you bother writing this crap.

Amazon to hire over 85,000 temporary elves for Christmas

Sweat

Well if they make 'em sweat they might lose some weight, but I wouldn't want to work there if the elves don't get a fresh shirt every day.

Google Nexus 7 2013: Fondledroids, THE 7-inch slab has arrived

@ Craigness Re: Best Tablet in the World?

Funniest thing I've seen on here for ages - thanks Craigness!

Re: Taking photographs on a tablet.

Well Sony might have come up with the goods for you with the new QX wireless camera / lens gismo invention.

'Silent' staff stood by as £100m BBC IT project tanked – DG

Not a unique business model

Higher education seems to be employing the same business model as the BBC. It pays huge salaries to people with little or no commercial experience - they've probably not even worked in a shop - to wield an axe over employees who might have decided that to work in education was ethical, like working for charity. Unfortunately both sectors have been ruined by commercialisation. Oh to be self-employed.

Look out, fanbois! EVIL charger will inject FILTH into your iPHONE

Poison apple

Who would adam 'n' eve it?

IWGMC even though it's nearly summer.

Adobe kills Creative Suite – all future features online only

Film anyone?

Or you could avoid using any software at all and shoot film and print your images in a darkroom like everyone used to do only about 10 years ago . . . . Or maybe you prefer to work in a room with 18% grey walls and subdued lighting and hope that your printer can satisfy your needs. Oh BTW, yes, I have done this in colour and black and white and it's really not that hard and it involves standing up and not sitting down which is apparently very bad for homo sapiens. Is digital so appealing then, given the "costs"?

I won't need a coat as, at the moment, it's not raining in Cornwall.

iPads in education: Not actually evil, but pretty close

Books or trips anyone

"down to about 250-300 quid each . . . . "

That's quite a few books or nice little trips out to the park or the beach or the ghetto even. I hope nobody in teaching has the balls to turn around and say that education is underfunded in this god-forsaken cold grey country because they need . . . . it'll be censored or the thought police will smash down my front door if I type it. I will get my "outerwear".

Apple to stop European shipments of Mac Pro on March 1?

Mac Pro case

Surely they're made by the same God that should have saved Steve Jobs from his untimely departure and eased his travelator ascendancy to Heaven? Or am I being glib? No, thought not.

How to destroy a brand-new Samsung laptop: Boot Linux on it

French cars

Have owned two albeit, BL tinged, British cars, three French cars (but not Renault), and one Japanese car and have driven many of them around the clock. The French cars were agreeably reliable, the Japanese one almost faultless and the British cars . . . . ask Red Robbo as he should be very proud of what he did to the wonderful British car industry and can probably tell you why the cars made in his era were so wonderful too.

Mobes, web filth 'pornifying' our kids, warns top Labour MP

Re: @Obviously! ?

Why does a "child" need a smartphone?