* Posts by MrDamage

1511 posts • joined 25 Feb 2011

Australian PM says nation under serious state-run 'cyber attack' – Microsoft, Citrix, Telerik UI bugs 'exploited'


Re: The New Norm.... Get Used to it being that Way and a Novel Way for Doing All Things Different

Take one tab of acid, every hour, for the next 3 days.


"Serious cyber attack"

Also known as "Everyone in Australia trying to do their taxes online, and overloading shitty govt systems".

This announcement is brought to you by the same govt that insisted a MtM NBN could be done cheaper, betterer, fasterer than FTTH.

Hey Mister Prime Minister ... Scott! Can you get off my lawn please, mate?


Re: I salute that man!



Re: I salute that man!

That's just what the drop bears want you to think. Next thing you know, you'll stop putting Vegemite behind your ears, and BAM!, your face is chewed off.

Lawsuit klaxon: HP, HPE accused of coordinated plan to oust older staff in favor of cheaper, compliant youngsters


Re: Another?

Work at Lowes or Home Depot then. You get to hide out the back, avoiding all customers, and if one manages to track you down, you already know which end of the screwdriver to hold, so that immediately gives you 500% more experience than the average person who "works" there.

You know this Land of the Free thing, yeah? Well then, why allow the FBI to trawl through America's browsing history without a warrant?


Don't worry

It'll all come to an end once Emperor Trump has locked up everyone who has ever said anything nasty about him on the internet.

You overstepped and infringed British sovereignty, Court of Appeal tells US in software companies' copyright battle


Re: Popcorn !

Why not? I may start a betting pool on which toy he throws out of the pram next.

Back from the dead: Appeals court resurrects lawsuit claiming IBM stiffs its own salespeople on commissions


Re: How are IT salespeople surprised when they don't get what they expected from a deal?

Probably the same way the customer is surprised they don't get what they expected from the deal.

Wanna be a developer? Your coworkers want to learn Go and like to watch, er, Friends and Big Bang Theory



The survey respondents thought they were being asked about the Chinese board game, and not languages derived from the fudge factory.

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you


My submissions

Microsofton - Because of how excited we all are with each Windows release.

Mozziesoft - Cortana's voice is as welcome as a mosquito in your ear at 2am.

Uber, Lyft struck by sue-ball, no, sue-meteorite in California after insisting their apps' drivers aren't employees

This post has been deleted by a moderator


Re: AB5 hurts more than just UBER...

Oh Bob. Please go to Florida. From what I've heard of that place, you'll fit right in. We may even see you on the news.

OK, so you've air-gapped that PC. Cut the speakers. Covered the LEDs. Disconnected the monitor. Now, about the data-leaking power supply unit...


Re: Yes we know they squeak

Well all know who is to blame for us not being able to have nice things.


UK finds itself almost alone with centralized virus contact-tracing app that probably won't work well, asks for your location, may be illegal


Re: Hanlon's razor

I'm only going to say this once, so take notes.

PVC Conduit, and rusty barbed wire.

- Insert conduit up recipients back passage.

- Insert rusty barbed wire through conduit.

- Remove conduit, and use it to smack recipient across the arse and back of thighs, forcing them to run with the barbed wire inserted.

'VPs shouldn't go publicly rogue'... XML co-author Tim Bray quits AWS after Amazon fires COVID-19 whistleblowers


> Is it his job to save the planet then?

Actually, yes. Given that he is the boss of Amazon, he has to ensure that Amazon remains viable. Remaining viable means NOT rendering the planet uninfuckinghabitable.

Unlivable planet = no people.

No people = no customers for Amazon.

So, basically, yes it is his fucking job to save the planet


Re: Good for him!

They don't want you to have nice things, because then they would have to go out and get even nicer, shinier things, just so they can continue to pretend they are better than you, because they have better things.

ICANN finally halts $1.1bn sale of .org registry, says it's 'the right thing to do' after months of controversy


Re: Shame on you, Kieren

No. You've been doing it right. I, too, used to have all my small, personal websites on a .org address because that's what the org domain was for.

ISP's and other twatdangles on the early days of the web advertising "get your own dotcom" fucked it up for everybody.


Re: Practice, don't preach

It's not that it was a little too specific, it's more along the lines that there are better tax breaks to leasing souls, than buying them.

Australian contact-tracing app leaks telling info and increases chances of third-party tracking, say security folks


Re: Maybe, maybe not.

That they were found out, was unintentional.

IBM Watson GPU cloud cluster Brexits from London to Frankfurt – because GDPR


Re: Genuinely...

Given the "Yes, no, maybe, can you repeat the question?" clusterfuck that was Brexit negotiations, can you blame IBM for waiting until they knew what the fuck was going on before making a decision?

Mayday! Mayday! The next Windows 10 update is finally on approach to a PC near you


Re: Just wait

I'll try it out on my main machine. I take weekly snapshots of my machine, and its not like restoring SSD to NVMe will take much longer than brewing the kettle and making a cuppa.

NASA dons red and blue cardboard 3D glasses to drive Curiosity rover because its GPUs are stuck in the office


Re: Sounds like they are using old GeForce 3D Vision kit

Because NASA need to clear all shots of Mars with our lizard overlords on the dark side of the moon to ensure the public aren't made aware of the Democrats child abuse camp.


Re: Real Question

Why do you waste money on burgers and beer, when gruel and water are "good enough"?

WeWork sues SoftBank over 'AWOL' $3bn shares purchase – which included millions lined up for ousted CEO Neumann


Re: Farcical valuation ... Softbank ... have now realised this

Then entire stock market is a pump n dump Ponzi scheme.

How else could any company be "worth" billions of dollars, and yet one weeks worth of no sales has them begging on the government doorstep for a fucking bailout?

The opening of the Dow should be done by Drew Carey every morning. "Welcome to the Dow Jones Index. Where the valuations are made up, and the points don't matter."

Apple creates face shield for health workers, resists the temptation to call it the 'iMask'


Because they've already donated masks sourced from within their supply chain.


This is something they can actually produce quickly, rather than having to retool. It won't stop you from breathing it in, but it will stop droplets of spittle hitting your face when someone coughs, and will be a handy reminder not to touch your face to begin with.

Captain Caveman rides to the rescue, solves a prickly PowerPoint problem with a magical solution


Re: My word...

> I wouldn't phone up someone in India and in a broad cockney say "Awright cockle, it's Ranjit Malik here."

I do, however, answer the phone that way if they make the mistake of calling me and trying one of their scams.


He can't. The lawyers found him.

Oh-so-generous ransomware crooks vow to hold back from health organisations during COVID-19 crisis


Re: Look at the super markets.

From what I've read, Australia is either talking about, or enacting, the anti-profiteering legislation normally reserved for times of conflict.

Facebook does the right thing for once: Joins Google, LinkedIn, Microsoft, Reddit, Twitter, YouTube to clean out dodgy COVID-19 info


Re: Which authoritative

Can you call him trustworthy though? Whilst he is a qualified nurse, he is not a qualified medical doctor. He holds an academic doctorate in nursing.

To be passing himself off as "Doctor" whilst passing out medical advice, is disingenuous at the very least.

French watchdog to take €1.1bn bite out of Apple over 'anticompetitive' practices


Re: Shed a tear?

I expect them to appeal. It's one thing when the "fine" is only 30 seconds worth of profits for the year, but with this being close to 2% of their net profit, they're going to cry foul.

How's this for a JEDI mind trick? AWS waves hand, has Uncle Sam 'reconsider' $10bn contract award to Microsoft


Re: "requiring that work on the contract pauses while the objection is considered."

Yes, like how Donald Trump tried to sue Julius and Edmond Trump, for daring to have the same surname as him.

Or when he tried to sue Merv Griffin for daring to be a competitor on a bid to buy a casino.

Or when he tried to sue the Chicago Tribune over an opinion piece that doubted his ability to build a tower taller than the Sears tower. An opinion which was somewhat justified given Trump hadn't even hired an architect to design anything.

Or suing an author, and his publisher, for daring to estimate Trumps fortunes to be only millions, not billions.

Or suing Scotland over a wind farm.

Or how he tried to get a video game banned because it depicted a rival's casino, and not his.

Or how he just threatens to sue anyone, at any time, for saying anything that hurts his feels?

When the world ends – coronavirus plague, WW3, whatever – all that will be left are cockroaches and Larry Ellison trash talking his rivals


Re: "all that will be left are cockroaches and Larry Ellison"

I strongly suspect that each time a legendary rocker dies, Keith Richards goes through "The Quickening".

AI startup accuses Facebook of stealing code designed to speed up machine learning models on ordinary CPUs


Re: "nifty software tricks to achieve similar speeds on CPUs"

CPU or 487 NPU?

You've duked it out with OS/2 – but how to deal with these troublesome users? Nukem


Re: Timing is off..

The standard for using capitals to emphasise words, is to capitalise the first letter only on words of importance. Using all caps for random words simply makes you a moronic shoutyman.


> I'm sure many a person here has groaned at the problems caused by too long filenames in DOS and early Windows

That problem is still there, only now it applies to the combination of folder and file names totaling more than 256 characters.

Anyone who has had to restore files for users who believe that the folder structure can have an infinite amount of characters, knows this pain.


Re: A wunch of bankers ...

You know what dissolves glue? Cattleprod, roll of carpet, shovel, and quicklime.


Re: Expensive

You didn't "need" a 3DFX card, but it certainly helped. Think of it like very early SLI.

Don't be fooled, experts warn, America's anti-child-abuse EARN IT Act could burn encryption to the ground


Re: *shudders*

> Perfectly Panders to the Phoney Proselytizing Praying Protectors of Personal Purity.

(bad falseto) All right. Don't practice your alliteration on me.


Re: No rest for the wicked

It means they can simultaneously bang the "law and order" drum, while gutting funding the fleshy things that do the actual policing.

The same way they cut down on beat cops, then install cameras everywhere "for our protection".


Don't fight it.

Maliciously comply every step of the way.

1. Excise all references to the Talmud, Bible and Quaran from their platforms due to their outdated beliefs on child rape and abuse.

2. Remove all pics, and even references of children from their platforms, you know, just to 100% comply with the law, just in case.


Re: Fucking idiots.

So, according to this, it's only illegal if you know you have it.

BOFH: Here he comes, all wide-eyed with the boundless optimism of youth. He is me, 30 years ago... what to do?


Re: Cynical is what an optimist calls a realist...

BOFH (while charging the cattleprod): WHO SPILLED MY FUCKING PINT?

More than a billion hopelessly vulnerable Android gizmos in the wild that no longer receive security updates – research


Re: Google could help

You could always go after the manufacturers of chipsets, and phones, under the "Right to Repair" legislation should it ever get passed.

If the increased support costs leads to increased parts and thus increased phone prices, that too, will be a good thing, as it will slow down the upgrade cycle, and lead to less in the landfill.


Re: And in comparison...

> Admittedly it's a bit shit, but it works, and it's reliable and secure.

Well, it was secure....


But apart from my pedantry over information less than 24 hours old on this publication, your point stands.

'Optional' is the new 'Full' in Windows 10: Microsoft mucks about with diagnostic slurpage levels for Fast Ring Insiders


I only use Edge on a new build, to visit Ninite and get everything I need to replace Winbloat with functional software.

Although, sometimes I use Bing, to search for Chrome, and click on the Ad for Chrome, just so Google has to pay MS a few cents. Petty, yes, but when you do dozens of builds weekly for customers, you gotta find fun in the monotony somehow.


Re: MS are moving their slurping all into CrEdge.

And NoScript, PrivacyBadger, SponsorBlock, HTTPS Everywhere, a strong hosts file, and throw in a PiHole just for good measure.

'Unfixable' boot ROM security flaw in millions of Intel chips could spell 'utter chaos' for DRM, file encryption, etc


Re: A backdoor ?

Of course it was put in by the gays. The more backdoors the better.


Re: Getting security 100% right is hard

Nah, but Hanlen left his razor in the company bathroom.

Death and taxis: Windows has had enough of clinging to a cab rooftop in the London rain


Samsung "Stumpy" Chromeboxes are pretty much a dime a dozen on Ebay now. Reflash the firmware courtesy of MrChromebox, install Linux (Gallium is designed for Chromebox), and you have yourself a nice little 1500 passmark linux box for anything from PiHole, basic PC, ad-flinging box, you name it.

Apple tries to have VirnetX VPN patent ruling overturned again, US Supremes say no... again


Re: A Strange Admission to Make ..... for Does it Not Reek of a Ponzi Zombie on the Take ‽ ‽ ‽

Given that the guys who sit on the board actually created the patents, instead of buying them, I don't think they're patent trolls.


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