Posts by John Bailey

China demands answers from US after 'I spy on one little Huawei' report

Re: Spying vs. attacks

Pre-emptive defence.

Re: Seems strange...

Whether they have backdoor or not, allowing America to put in the communications equipment that our defense and infrastructure rely on is the height of stupidity!

Somethings you don't do , even if they can do it cheaper!

British trolls to face 'tougher penalties' over online abuse

Did you really need to ask so many rhetorical questions?

Oculus Rift? Tchah, try 'Oculus Thrift' ... You bet your vrAse we tested these bargain VR specs

Re: Might want to re-think the name

Well stoppit. It's all in your mind.

Now go do something else like play with your wii.

Not sure if you're STILL running Windows XP? AmIRunningXP.com to the rescue!

Re: Sigh

"There was quite a lot of bitching about WGA and how it would only inconvenience paying customers. Enough that Microsoft didn't distribute WGA with their volume license customers. Oh, and that fucking awful fisher price colour scheme, which was at least trivially changeable back to something.. well.. else."

Hey.. Don't knock WGA. A very valuable and useful project.

It was WGA that gave me the final push to give Linux a proper go. And I've been using it ever since. Proof that some MS products do actually work.

Re: Your all up your own arse

"There are millions of computers running XP, owned by millions of people who don't give a rats arse what flavour of windows they are running."

Agreed. I don't give a rats arse what they are running either,

"This is aimed at them"

Well.. Aimed is a bit strong.

"They are called "normal people""

Who check on the internet to find out if they are running XP or not.. yes? Such an act would I think in most cases, excuse people from being considered normal. Do they also google "Am I wearing clean underwear"?

Just tried.. Don't.. Not useful.

"People who sit in dark server rooms worrying over shit like this and laughing at people who don't care about the version numbers of some bit of software are not "normal people""

True enough. Weird bastards.. Possibly due to spending far too much time in dark server rooms.. Those places are hot and noisy. Can't be good for anybody.

But people who sit in comfy chairs and hang out in web forums laughing at PR people who think such a site will be useful rather than an object of ridicule are I would say, well adjusted and in possession of a functioning sense of humour.

The PR people on the other hand.. Well.. they work in PR.

I'm sorry. It seems you have got the wrong end of the stick.

Not everybody is going to upgrade in a panic.

WE KNOW.. We get it. And really, in most cases, we don't care.

Or to put it more briefly...

Whoosh..

We are not laughing at "ordinary people".. We are laughing at Microsoft.

Personally, I'm waiting to see Crackergeddon not happen, and newspapers and websites be devoid of stories about breaches that happen the day after the final patch Tuesday.

I really don't care who upgrades or downgrades or switches platform. I'm having a lovely time watching indifferent users make Microsoft cry.

That NSA denial in full: As of right now, we're not pretending to be Facebook or Twitter

Re: Journalism, whither art thou?

"Getting away with the tricksy language unchallenged is getting tired, and a couple of weeks of picking apart every statement on the fly might persuade them to try another tack."

But if you don't ask the approved questions, you don't get invited to the next press conference. Just as news programs have to hold back on what they ask politicians, because the shifty little sods will just refuse to appear if they get a good cross examination.

"Or are we really that fucked for good journos?"

Yep.. Now shut up and read about some dole scrounger with thirty kids and a 50 inch tv set.

Not just for Glasswipes: Google to drop SDK for all Android wearables

Re: If they put this in the back of your boxer shorts

No

A true smartarse is born, not made.

Apple fanbois DENIED: Mac Pro deliveries stalled until April

Obvious issue

They can't get the stock numbers up, because the people at the factory keep trying to empty them.

UK citizens to Microsoft: Oi. We WANT ODF as our doc standard

Re: Open Source Means Choice

"I'd rather have a format that works because there's a financial reason for it to succeed,"

So ODF it is then.

You do understand that the "financial reason" for using a MS format is going to be all Microsoft's, and not yours. So financial reasons like a new file format that needs a new word processor to do exactly the same stuff with, but saves by default in the new ultrashiny file format..

"than one that was being pulled from all directions from the "include my feature too!" crowd."

Ahh.. you are familiar with Microsoft’s internal politics problem then.

"I use word because it works, and I can export it to just about any other format that the 5% who don't use word need."

But we are talking about a file format, not a word processor. Do try to keep on topic.

"Not that it's going to matter soon anyway, who's going to bother creating a static document when all people want to consume it from their <insert name of favourite mobile device here>? A web/mobile delivery format will trump document standard formats before long."

Ohh.. People who sell <insert name of favourite mobile device> for example.

Banks, Mail/internet sellers. Supermarkets, schools, government departments, engineering firms, double glazing companies.. In other words, the same people as care today.

People will still be using computers for work in ten years from now. Because really, people do not just use computers for facebook and Youtube cat videos. They also do stuff that they get paid to do.

They create or organise information. And that sucks on a tablet.

Sorry mate.. Perhaps next year will be the year of Windows 8.1

Nokia launches Android range: X marks the growing low-cost spot

Nah.. It's the new MS strategy..

Embrace, Extend, Isolate.

My smelly Valentine: Europe's perfumers wake to V-Day nightmare

Re: "banning cheese next, followed closely by nuts."

"Has it though? Everything has a nut warning on it. Could have been a good idea but the warnings are so ubiquitious that they are just noise - like Website cookie warnings have become."

Which indicates how widespread peanut based products are used in food. Nothing wrong with peanuts.. High in protein.

Unless of course, you are allergic.

What were you expecting? after a few years, that peanut allergies would go away, and the warning could be dropped?

Apple Mac Pro: It's a death star, not a nappy bin, OK?

Possibly.. If you stick a kettle on top.

WHEEE... CRUNCH! iPad Mini tops list of most breakable slabs, mobes

Re: Read all about it

CLARIFICATION - Some devices with large glass screens are MORE easily broken than others.

In other headlines,

RDF still in operation.

Fanboys still incapable of facing reality.

Apple still over priced techno jewellery.

Apple RESURRECTS the iPhone 4: report

Re: seems an odd thing to do

But would that not be fragmentation? Because apparently, no developers will develop software for fragmented OSs.

Bad enough they now have a landfill phone, but a fragmented landfill phone.. Oh my..

Boffin dreams up smart battery gizmo for Raspberry Pi fiddlers

Re: Where's the incentive @John Bailey

Don't worry Hamish.. We get it. Well.. Most of us anyway.

Good luck with the board. Hope you reach your target.

Re: Where's the incentive @John Bailey

None of it. But I'm not the one whining about money off vouchers requiring payment to use.

Re: Where's the incentive @John Bailey

Nope.. I comprehend just fine.

You are the one who seems unsure of how a money off voucher works.

Perhaps I need to make it simpler.

Imagine you get a 10% off voucher through the letter box..

It's for a product you already buy.. yay..

So.. You go to the shop, and you pick out the product.

Then you go to the checkout,and you pay for the product, and present the voucher.

The cashier then charges you 10% less than they would without the voucher, but you still have to pay the remaining 90% for the product.

If this is too hard, then you have no chance with understanding kick starter.

Re: Where's the incentive @AC

Umm.. that is kind of exactly what you do with a money off token.

You pay the asking price, less the face value discount on the token.

Have you considered burying your money in the garden to see if a money tree grows? You don't seem to have quite mastered the concept of retail yet. Might be a bit early to start thinking of investing in stuff.

Unmanned, autonomous ROBOT TRUCK CONVOY 'drives though town'

Wait til you see the tactical decoupage.

Ancient video of Steve Jobs launching the first Apple Mac found

On the fields of Trenzalore, at the fall of the eleventh, when no living creature can speak falsely or fail to answer, a Question will be asked, a question that must never, ever be answered.

Am I holding it wrong?

Apple plans to waggle iNormous 4½-incher in fanbois' faces

Re: How about two sizes?

"Should Apple only ever sell one iPhones size at the time?"

According to the iFanboys who are prone to ridiculing anything not of the sacred fruit..

Yes.

Because apparently the holy aspect ratio of magnificence is one handed down by the Steve himself. And it optimises the user experience in many shiny shiny ways..

And apparently, "Nobody wants a big phone"

"Some people have small hands…"

Then they need to get bigger ones..

Sorry, but this is Apple. Choice is not an option. I mean.. how are you going to know you have the best one, if there are choices.. Think of the market confusion.. think of the FRAGMENTATIION!!!!

What next.. You want colours other than the classic turtleneck black, or the virginal white?

MPAA spots a Google Glass guy in cinema, calls HOMELAND SECURITY

Re: Did he mount his Glass on a tripod?

Shhhhh..

You should know better than to ask sensible questions here.

Google Glass driver told she CAN wear techno-specs while on the road

Re: Huh?

Damn.. Now you tell me..

"Darling.. Have you drunk that coffee yet.. "

Hopefuls rattle tin for customisable snap together 3D printer

Re: So easy to make....

Don't worry. They already have the idea.

3D systems Cube printer. Domestic level filament printer. needs cartridge packed filament. To make it "easy to use"..

Happily, most seem to be avoiding that trap, and are allowing standard off the shelf filament and a choice of open slicers and front ends. We shall have to see what the big names do when they come on the scene.

Foot-loving cat burglar nicks THREE THOUSAND individual socks

Re: Easy to defend against

Nah.. Answer is to replace washing line with electric fence.

THOUSANDS of UK.gov Win XP PCs to face April hacker storm... including boxes at TAXMAN, NHS

My thinking too.

Imagine if the desktop was lost to Linux by programs that ran fine in WINE, but not in Win 7+..

Naked Aussie gets wedged in washing machine

Re: Wierd News

"In fairness, there's a world of difference between an 11-year old playing hide and seek, and a 20 yr old who should know better."

Yes..

The 11 year old is more likely to be smart enough to realise how stupid the idea is before doing it.

BT tweaks WORDING of sex-ed web block after complaints

Re: RE:WTF are toddlers doing using the internet unsupervised???

Cheers.. I'll smear it on the wall after I finish setting up this VPN.

Re: If I was making such a list...

And the Conservative website.

Who can forget the clip of a pubescent William Hague at a party conference..

RE:WTF are toddlers doing using the internet unsupervised???

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Parents can hide abortion, contraception advice from kids, thanks to BT's SEX-ED web block

Re: Speechless

"If the children are so young that the parents do not want them to have access to sex-education sites, then why are they being allowed onto the internet unsupervised?"

Because they are not really "that young". But the god squad no doubt got this little modifier dropped in.

And yes.. WE BLOODY TOLD YOU SO..

Little kids do not go searching for sex information. Doesn't happen. And have you ever in your entire on-line life accidentally come across a sex eduction site?

By the time they hit puberty, when they DO go looking for information, they need to know it. And withholding this information is wrong.

Problem is.. the "must preserve their innocence" mob, get a bit carried away some times, and refuse to accept their little darlings are getting ready to rut. So knowing that taking a bath straight after is not actually a means of contraception, is a good thing. And yes.. One can get pregnant if one does it standing up.

Little kids however, DO go in search of sexual abuse information. Because when you don't know what is normal, how do you know daddy having a special cuddle, or the way Uncle Dave touches you is ok or not?

This is a bad thing. And it needs to be fought. The police will not put you on a perv list. So skip the paranoia. Say no to all filtering, if you have kids or not.

Otherwise, welcome to the white-list internet. Because function has already crept.. And will continue.

Australia rebukes Apple for 'false or misleading representations'

Because that worked so well last time..

Kiwi inventor's court win rains on Apple's parade

Re: DryPhone

"So why not call it DryPhone then?"

Or a DRIPhone.

or a DrIpHoNe.

Or George.

Because the inventor called it Driphone, and Apple threw a hissy fit. And it seems.. lost the case. Perhaps Apple should have bought a more distinctive product name.

And are you sure there is not already a trademark for DryPhone.

Not that anybody will need one anyway.. Aren't iPhones waterproof now with a firmware upgrade?

Sensation: Chinese Jade Rabbit FOUND ON MOON

Re: Most

"Most of the technology has been "borrowed" from the Americans."

Who "borrowed" it from the Germans.

El Reg's contraptions confessional no.3: the Apple G4 Cube

Re: Not just beautiful, quiet too

Mine is the same. A few fans swapped out for the quiet ones, and a little thought when selecting components = a box that is not obtrusive, and if it wasn't for the power light, nobody would know it was on.

Knocking up a quiet PC is pretty easy unless you are looking for a big actively cooled game rig. Even stock CPU coolers are pretty quiet these days.

Google's patent chief slammed the US patent office – now she's the agency's acting director

Re: Backlog ?

Yes..

Unless the money is siphoned off into the general government kitty that is.

Beastie Boys parody sueball tennis ends after toy firm yanks Girls

Actually.. It's for an engineering toy.. Not yet another plastic ink fluffy fashion programming monstrosity.

Microsoft hires Pawn Stars to shaft Google

Re: The overwhelming message I get from these ads

"Just showed that either MS or their advertising agency really did not know what they were doing. I suspect that the animators probably felt a bit dirty to have done the ads, but only until the money hit the bank!"

Didn't Microsoft almost get vista advertised on Family guy?

PR department thinking fail is not exactly a rare occurrence.

In fairness though.. Is it any worse than Cybermen talking to each other.

The ULTIMATE cuppa showdown: And the winner is...

Well.. Loose leaf tea in a pot.. 4 minutes is reasonable.

A tea bag in a mug.. Hell no. 4 minutes is way way too long.

As long as it takes to get the sugar stirred in, and fetch the milk from the fridge. A minute tops. Any longer becomes wood stain.

Schiller: 'Almost everyone' at Apple works on iPhones - not Macs or anything

Well someone has to milk the unicorns too..

Show us your Cook: Size is everything for Apple iWatch fans, apparently

iJust come to wind up fanboys.

Doctor Who nicked my plot and all I got was a mention in this lousy feature

Seems everyone agrees..

I know a big Who anniversary is coming up, and it's gong to be in the "news" a bit. But isn't this stretching a point to fill a few column inches?

Doctor who plots not all 100% original.

The horror.

What's next.. The surprising commonality between Eastenders and Coronation street? Oh.. I know.. The Oriental characters in 70s American cop shows that were inexplicably almost all ninjas...

Original plots stopped existing before Plato was a lad. Every book, every movie, even every kids TV series watched by a large number of adults is derivative. What changes is the storytelling, the scripting, the atmosphere.

RED planet, INDIAN mission: Space probe prepares for voyage to Mars orbit

Re: Why am I not supprised.....

"Ah so it's not about the science, just a pissing contest......"

Yep.

But be fair. So was Americans going to the moon.

'It's a joke!' ... Bill Gates slams Mark Zuckerberg's web-for-the-poor dream

Re: I'm Bill Gates...

"But money isn't infinite, you have to pick one."

No we don't.

iPad Air not very hot: Apple fanbois SHUN London fondleslab launch

Re: Eh?

Umm.. Actually I think the concept he was trying to get across is that he has this thing called a life.

Bucket? Check. Toilet plunger? Check. El Reg's 50 years of Doctor Who

Re: Only 11 actors?

Or Richard E Grant. Who was quite good in some of the radio series.

DEAD STEVE JOBS chap becomes ENGINEER ... at Lenovo

Re: Many professions can complain...

"Back when I was a teenager, I referred to myself as a "Petroleum Transfer Engineer" when I worked as a pump jockey at a full serve station..."

I used to be a bovine effluent relocation engineer.

Google in PRODUCT RECALL for its Glass spy-goggles

Re: What a bargin

Oh .. It's much worse than that.

The first group of beta testers (not sure if it is still happening) actually had to fly to a designated place and pay to be allowed to use them after "winning" some kind of competition.

Seriously though.. I can see many uses for these things. And I seem to be one of the few who realise that it is indeed possible to take them off your face at will.

MacBook Air fanbois! Your flash drive may be a data-nuking TIME BOMB

Re: just out of curiosity...

"what do you call a female fanboi?"

Myth?