* Posts by Antonius_Prime

178 posts • joined 22 Feb 2011


Microsoft says Azure fended off what might just be the world's biggest-ever DDoS attack


RE: "working as planned"

Have you been attempting to connect from Asia though?

Pretend starship captain to take trip in real space capsule


Re: Use the force Kirk

Bah Weep Grana Weep Nini Bong!

Firewalls? Pfft – it's no match for my mighty spares-bin PC


Re: In a previous life...

The 11/05 was probably acting as a counterweight for the rest of the kit, in case it tipped over...

Electron-to-joule conversion formulae? Cute. Welcome to the school of hard knocks


Re: Ask the dog - it has an 80% success rate

The TShirt is:

"Of course I talk to myself!

Sometimes I need the expert advice!"


Excel still has issues if the default is a network printer and the user is, say, WFH...

Thankfullt it isn't full on falling on face, but it's a fairly long hang on start up, print, exit, etc.

The fix? Swap default printer to PDF...

Apple debuts iPhone 13 with 1TB option, two iPad models, Series 7 Watch

Big Brother

"I don't think that Google Glass type things will ever become socially acceptable."

Well, you're not wrong.

From a privacy standpoint anyway, they're dead in the water, despite what Zuck & Rayban want us to think.

If there was some provable way to show that images of people were being discarded before the AR stuff was being acted on (like directions, news info, etc) and displayed, then they'd have a use.

And if they were being manufactured by anyone not Google, FB, Amazon, MS or Apple, people might even believe them on the privacy thing for a while, too!

Because let me tell you, if these AR goggles (not VR, actual AR) with front facing cams become popular, hoods and some sort of targeted infrasonic to mess with image pick up will suddenly become a very popular field of research...

Lenovo pops up tips on its tablets. And by tips, Lenovo means: Unacceptable ads


Re: Remove the core problem - Windows

"Good luck stuffing a hard drive into that."

With a good enough hammer, and a strong enough will, anything is possible!

Elevating bork to a new level (if the touchscreen worked)


Has anybody pointed these lifts out to Simon & Steven?

The capacity & capability for "Hijinks" would be readily observable for those two fine gents...

Scientists reckon eliminating COVID-19 will be easier than polio, harder than smallpox – just buckle in for a wait


Re: Fairly worthless comparison

To borrow from Marvel for a moment:

"He's outta line. But he's right."

Google: Linux kernel and its toolchains are underinvested by at least 100 engineers


Has anyone asked Linus what he thinks?

And as a follow up, how far away from the blast was the reporter found?


International Space Station actually spun one-and-a-half times by errant Russian module's thrusters


Entirely clear to see what happened here...

The controller in Russia had Kerbal Space Program running in one window and the Nauka stuff in another.

And got confused.

Give it 3 weeks and it'll show up in an On Call or Who, Me?...

(Icon obvious)

BOFH: They say you either love it or you hate it. We can confirm you're going to hate it


Re: ... to be continued ...

"Now thinking about what to do with an industrial pot of Marmite and a hock of ham..."

Have a tasty, sodium filled, yet frequently running to the bog weekend?

Who needs 'Bliss' in Teams when you can have the real thing on a Bristol bus?


Headline writer missed a trick...

"The Bork on the Bus(stop) goes round and round..."

I mean, honestly!

BOFH: Here in my car I feel safest of all. I can listen to you ... It keeps me stable for days


Re: Box Tickers Anonymous United .......

Apple have a clause for the iTunes one. You can't use the code to develop bio weapons.


Go search for it!


YouTube's recommendation engine is pretty naff, Mozilla study finds


Re: You don't say

This comment officer. Right here.

It's clear, well thought out, articulated and 100% on point.

Obviously we can't be having that, here, on the internet...


In all fairness, you are 100% spot on. Youtube really does have the monopoly on non-studio produced streaming video. There are simply no alternatives that have amarket or audience share anywhere near threatening to them.

Revealed: Why Windows Task Manager took a cuddlier approach to (process) death and destruction


I'd pay good money to have it narrated by Frankie Boyle, swears included, like you can get the Big Yin on certain SatNavs...

"Right, so we grabbed th'process and decided to ****in' shove a wee lengthy bit o' knife inty 'em."

After staff revolt, Freenode management takes over hundreds of IRC channels for 'policy violations'


Oooh! Reminds me!

Articles about IRC always remind me to do my semi-annual check of bash.org


The Epic vs Apple trial is wrapping up, but the battle has just begun


Anyone remembered that Epic have their own store?

On Windows. Yeah, its "only" 12% but it does have exclusives that don't appear on other storefronts (Steam, Ubi, EA, etc) so that does make their arguments about controlling the market a bit hollow...


Re: "Apple’s ironclad control of the iOS platform"

Bit of a strawman argument there.

I mean, by your reasoning, if you don't have a car, your portion of taxes shouldn't go towards maintaining the roads.

One thing this case has brought to light is that a flat fee of X% per dev is probably something that needs to be reexamined. (Remember, Google have a similar structure, as does Steam - and Epic on their own storefront.)

If I were to start developing apps for sale as a 1 man show and charge 0.99 currency per app/IAP, why should I only get .7 of it back per app if I "only" sell 100,000 apps/IAP in a year. (That figure, like all good stats is pulled directly from my ar$e... YMMV)

Contrast that with Epic or another big name like King. They sell way more than 100,000 apps/IAP per year. I'd wager that they sell an order of magnitude more than that a month.

I'll let the maths as an exercise for those interested.

Who's getting screwed more? Yeah, they're both getting 30% taken off the top, but if I expect to get 100,000 but instead 70,000 compared to Epic expecting 100,000,000 and getting 70,000,000. Who does it affect financially more? The large developer who has a diversified and stable platform or the lone dev who's on one platform starting out?

I'd said it before on one article and I'll say it again.

Epic only went after Apple for 2 reasons:

1. Visibilty (I's fashionable to dunk on and hate Apple)

2. The size of the playerbase on that platform is smaller than on Playstation, Windows and Android. It's less of a loss to them. Imagine what would happen if MS banned the Epic store app from Windows...

Not to take Apple's side on this, because the App Store model needs changes more than a newborn with diarhea, but Epic are doing this purely because they know if they make this noisey and even get it thrown out, they can strong arm Sony,. MS and Google.

If they win, they'll still strong arm them from a better position plus have money from Apple to do so.

The swift in-person response is part of the service (and nothing to do with the thing I broke while trying to help you)


Wishing for BOfH-mas

We all did...

Subconciously, we need him... want him.. on the system...

(Throwback to a Few Good Bastards...)

Just one in 5 Googlers plan to swerve the office permanently after COVID-19


I managed to shout...

Bingo three times in that article alone...

If I had that old bluetooth enabled buzzword bingo aoo, my phone would've gone bang!

Day 3 of the Apple vs Epic trial: What actually is an iPhone anyway?


The real reason isn't Epic V Apple...

The reason they took on Apple isn't to tackle the App Store's policy.

It's because it's the smallest market share for Fortnite. If they can crack that, and / or set precedent, they can prise the same 30% off of MS grasp and whatever Sony charges.

(Survey is way out of date, but gives a general idea,,,)



RE: BS, BS everywhere

"Although I concede that running a text editor on a jailbroken smart toilet is not the most practical thing…"

Yes, but until someone ports DOOM to the Port-a-potty, is it really even a platform at that point? :D

(Can we get a DOOM Guy icon?)

Update on PHP source code compromise: User database leak suspected


"Or is write once, run anywhere bollocks?"

Always was. They fed us that fallacy in Uni with C, C++ and Java.

It ends up being write once, debug 7 trillion times, publish, hope t'f*** nothing breaks...

... and go again...

Yes, there's nothing quite like braving the M4 into London on the eve of a bank holiday just to eject a non-bootable floppy


That's the most efficient way, yes.

But not one that generates a constant revenue stream...


Re: To be fair...

I see this with some work machines from time to time.

Given I'm the one that imaged / built them they seem to work if they know I'm coming.

I put it (indelicately as some once said) as they know the hand that first beat them... :D


Re: HR's Disappearing Data

Probably only one of the very few things S. Adams has said in recent years that people agree with is appropriate here:

"There is no "I" in "Team", but you can't spell "Who Cares?" without HR..."

In YouTube's world, parental supervision means: 'Everyone sign in to Google, click once, and trust we get it right'


Re: What is filtered?

Yeah, my then 3 year old started asking who Jeesis is, because he was asked to stay after the toy video to be told the gospel.

That particular channel got blocked so damn fast I near put a hole through the tablet with my finger.

Religion is a personal choice. It shouldn't be forced on people in mass media.

Or, as I once saw it masterfully put:

"Religion / Opinions is/are like a penis. Many people have them. They're all different. It's OK to be proud of yours. Just don't whip it out and start waving it in peoples' faces or shoving it down their throats. Especially childrens..."

(I state all of that as someone living in a catholic country, where the child will more than likely be brought up in that faith till he makes his own choice, by the way. Keep the grandparents on either side happy...)

A word to the Wyse: Smoking cigars in the office is very bad for you... and your monitor


Re: It's about time

I was looking for something along these lines.

This article is a good mix of "On Call" and "Ventblockers".

(Incidentally, I've shown the VB articles to a few people over time and any smokers or cat owners have miraculously managed to clean their acts up... Hrrmmmm... XD )

Voyager 2 receives and executes first command in 11 months as sole antenna that reaches it returns to work


Re: "Trust me - I'm an engineer."

Yeah... nah.

I'm not letting a bunch of civil, mech, electrical, process & HVAC engineers anywhere near the door to our comms rooms, let alone in them! XD

Besides, I prefer the BOfH's approach. I tell people that voltage is a great educator.

It has positives and negatives though. But HR says I have to be nice, so now I let them choose which teste / nipple will be positive and which will be negative...


Re: "Trust me - I'm an engineer."

Errrm... gonna err on the side of caution.

Mainly because I work with a lot of engineers (some of whom have issues with some things now considered to be basic PC use, but I digress..) and I don't trust many of them.

Especially since I was asked did I happen to know, offhand, the tensile & breaking strengths in Netwons per square inch; of the patch cables we had.

When I asked why, I was give an answer which chilled my (admitedly shrivelled IT) soul: "Building a desktop Trebuchet...

Where are you running off to?"

XD - icon because it really matches...

Death Becomes It: Who put the Blue in the Blue Screen of Death?


I do love that message.

The one thing I love even more is the memory and core dump it causes in people reading it for the first time, looking for a keyboard and generating their own "Keyboard missing" error.

I'm quite certain at this point that I may slightly get off on watching or causing cognitive dissonance events...

... which would explain why I still do Hell Desk... XD

There's no 'I' in Teams so Microsoft issues 6-month warning for laggards still on Skype for Business Online


We're still trialling Teams. Some regulatory, compliance and security concerns in my org about it.

It... works... for what we want (Meetings, calls, scheduled events, IM). But it's the raft of other... lets call them enthusiastic addons that are causing us to hang back.

Been 18 months of hanging back now, which tells you just how concerned we are...

That's it. It's over. It's really over. From today, Adobe Flash Player no longer works. We're free. We can just leave


Re: "Is my computer going to be fast enough to view this webpage?"

It's all those obfustcated trackers and ad tech...

Facebook rolls out full-page ads, website complaining Apple is forcing it to get consent before tracking you


Re: That tweet showing the multipage scroll is damning

Could always file an FOI request with the NSA for their own data...


World+dog share in collective panic attack as Google slides off the face of the internet


Re: Try again *later*

Could call it the "Shower". I mean, that's what happens when clouds fall over in meatspace, right?

MTBS - Mean times between showers...

Could catch on...


Re: Ain't those Cloud services supposed to be up 100% of the time?

Global Warming. It's getting hotter, so the Cloud is evapourating a little...

Behold the drive-thru of the California Highway Patrol: Fry me a river, has 'CHIPS' stopped working again?


"Welcome to McBorkald's: Over 8 Billion Borked!"

Should be a headline on one of the next McBorkage's...

European Space Agency will launch giant claw that drags space junk to its doom


Re: They should have gone with the James bond scoop design

De-orbit to Luna.

That way, when we get back there, we have readily-ish available materials for building / landing sites.

And unless there's anything else up there, we won't screw up the environment there.

Bloated middle age beckons: Windows 1.0 turns 35 and is dealing with its mid-life crisis, just about


Re: Mobile

"pretty stable for me as well as long as you didn't ask too much of it"

We've an office manager like that. Not a window manager. An office manager.

Stable, until you ask too much of her. (Current stack limit: 2 items. A week.)

One does not simply shove elephants on a ballet shoe point and call it an acceptable measure of pressure


Re: Pressure

"Tons of glove-box-resident "Queen's Greatest Hits" cassettes."

Though doubtless these started their existence as something else by entirely different artists altogether...

When even a power-cycle fandango cannot save your Windows desktop


Re: Too Many Stories!

Just beat me to it! :D Have my upvote!


Re: Too Many Stories!

HP Thunderbolt Dock G2 - AKA The Whack-A-Dock


Entire top is the power button. Exactly what you need when you're trying to reach in behind and plug in USB devices or network cables for the users who can design complex, complicated piping, HVAC, electrical & CAD designs but apparently basic matching sockets eludes them...

The dock is related to the icon...

Solving a big, yellow IT problem: If it's not wearing hi-vis, I don't trust it


Re: Data Entry

Counts as a warcrime, maybe...

(I have to remotely deal with Belgians and AZERTY - while on a QWERTY keyboard as the Gods of Computing intended...)

Reports of one's death have been greatly exaggerated: French radio station splurges obituary bank over interwebs


Re: Better later than sooner for the aforementioned people

"Recursivity. If it happens again, call back."

Cow-workers wondering why I'm darkly chuckling to myself...

Remember 2013? This coffee machine does: If I could turn back time – I'd reboot this PC


Re: The elephant in the room

It's been documented that my memory is abysmal before application of the Black Go Juice That Appeases The Beast, so perhaps they reckoned in their similar way "Lets give the machine as much grunt as we can, so that the users don't give as much grunt as they can..."

(In all probability, it was most likely an accounting idea. Build the machine as cheap as they can & charge through the nose. "Oh, software is slow? We can speed it up, that's an extra X a months. Cheers!" Interface is probably Java based anyway and we all know how memory efficient that is!*)


Lift us up where we belong: UK's Network Rail puts elevators online


Simon will be *very* happy...

I mean, hasn't the BOfH been doing things remotely to elevators for years?

(In fact, this is precisely where my mind went when I read the article...)

Excel is for amateurs. To properly screw things up, those same amateurs need a copy of Access


Re: All that counselling, wasted

I wouldn't call it a repressed memory.

Argument for the Defence, perhaps...


BOFH: Rome, I have been thy soldier 40 years... give me a staff of honour for mine age


We are spoiled!

New BOFH and a new Dabbsy on the same day?

This is more inspirational that Dabbsy's "Today is your life's tomorrow!" (https://www.theregister.com/2020/10/09/sftw/)


For me anyway...

Those that think the above platitude is the way of the world may end up herding alpaca's in Patagonia, via the Ural Steppes...

From the Department of WCGW: An app-controlled polycarbonate lock with no manual override/physical key


Re: Welcome back

Last person who attempted to hunt down the BOFH hasn't been heard from.

Something about taking up Alpaca Herding in Patagonia, via the Ural Steppes...



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