Posts by Goldmember

Election hacked, drunken robot elected to school board

'Drunken Robot'

Bender isn't drunk when he drinks. Future robots need alcohol for fuel. They get 'drunk' when they DON'T drink.

And the cigars make them look cool.

iPad 3 launch news pushes Apple shares to $500bn high

Re: Re: £6.26 of that $7B dividend is mine! (Less 15% dividend tax, of course.) Drinks all round.

"pint and a half"

Half? Of a pint? Never heard of it.

Cineworld flaunts '4D' movies

I hope...

..this won't mean they put the monthly subscription prices up. It still grates on me that I have to pay an additional charge to watch a 3D movie, even though I already have a pre-paid pass AND I bring my glasses back (grrr).

Schmidt's $1.45bn Google stock sale compelled by adultery?

Am I the only one...

...who has noticed the use of the fabricated word 'guestimated' in a Reg article? GUESTIMATED for fuck's sake!

Ian Thompson, you should be banned from writing articles for the next week. At least.

Hey Commentard! - or is that Commenter?

Re: Re: Re: Go for it!

Touché, sir! Perhaps we should add 'typotard' to the list as well.

Re: Go for it!

Don't for get 'pedantard'.

By the way Drew, you missed a comma in the title of the story.

Just saying.

"a Reg reader contacted us via our Twitter account to complain"

Just about sums up the userbase of Twatter, does it not?

Lighten up, commentards.

Sincerely,

Unoffended UK user.

Foxconn allegedly hid underage workers from inspectors

Re: Re: Re: Patiently waiting..

"obligation to do ethical trading"

I hate Apple and their mediocre, over-hyped and wildly over priced products as much as the next guy, but this really isn't their battle.

China is an awful place to work; shit conditions and shit pay are the accepted country-wide standard. Foxconn happen to be slightly less shit, partly due to negative press and slight pressure from Apple. And the huge amounts of cash they rake in. The people who work there aren't 'slaves' or any worse off than anyone else working in the area, in fact Foxconn are seen as better employers than many others.

It is for the Chinese government and manufacturing industry to legislate working conditions and minimum age and pay requirements, not Western customers of Chinese manufacturers.

Proview wins new Chinese IPAD ruling as Apple threatens to sue

"Apple's Reputation"

Ha ha, that bit caused a chuckle. Apple's rep is a sterling one, to be sure.

Apple antagonist Proview unveils its own iPad

@Thad Re: The Japanese answer

Indeed, English text has become a fashion thing in Japan. Teenage girls walk around with slogans such as 'I'm wet and ready' on their t-shirts, having no clue what those funny foregin characters actually say.

Whistleblower: Decade-long Nortel hack 'traced to China'

So...

Top execs of a big company, with access to all sorts of sensitive info and company secrets, were allowed to use the same passwords for 4+ years...?

Major FAIL for that one. Not surprising though, really.

Apple 'seeking part makers' for 8in 'iPad Mini'

More 'pocket friendly'?

You'd need a bloody big pocket to fit a 7" tab in there, never mind an 8"

BOFH: The Cloud Committee Calamity

Plausibility? Way to miss the point entirely.

That is all.

Appcelerator adds Titanium backend with Cocoafish buy

"I like backends and I cannot lie"

Sub title of the week, definitely

Microsoft blames poor Windows sales on PC slump

@jubtastic1

"They already make money from each Android sale, once they release Office for iOS and Android they'll be coining it in regardless of how well win8 tablets sell."

Er, what...? Since when did MS make Android? And since when was Android for sale, not free under an open source licence?

Flog secondhand MP3s at your peril - law guru

I don't understand...

So do you sell your track to these guys, and then have to delete it from your hard drive (maybe their software does it for you)? I've never used iTunes, but I believe that if you experience a hard drive failure for example, you can download all of your songs again from iTunes onto another device. What would stop you doing this after you sold all your tracks?

Or do you simply prove (somehow) that you've bought the track, and then sell a copy of it to the company, keeping the 'original'? In this case, you could do it over and over again.

Either way, it all sounds dodgy. How did they expect to get away with it?

Kids should be making software, not just using it - Gove

@PyLETS

It's highly unlikely that kids who take in interest in programming will then grow up and write an OS or an alternative Office program. It is, however, likely that they will grow up to create desktop/ mobile apps etc, thus CREATING demand for MS products, such as Visual Studio. That's why Microsoft now give away VS for free to Uni students etc., on the proviso they use it for educational purposes, and pay for a licence once they create something commercial.

Tesla 300-mile e-car UK debut set for 2013

Decent looking motor

Looks kind of like a cross between a modern Jag and Mondeo, with a Maserati-style front grille. Quite pretty, and seems like they're improving the range. Although with price translation what it is, I reckon you won't get much change out of £40k if you want an increased range when it arrives here, even with the government discount (if they haven't cut it by then).

Also, surely those back boot seats are a safety concern? Looking at the shape of the boot, the heads of passengers sat in there look like they'd be VERY close to the back window, facing it. I wouldn't like to be driving round with kids sat there. They'd get a great view of any car rear-ending you.

BOFH: The day the office budget bombed – literally

Back on form

Nice one Simon

Life-size Lego assault rifle really works

Some people...

..have WAY too much time on their hands.

And I am INSANELY jealous on this occasion. Good work!

MPs: 999 HQ revamp FAIL cost £469m

holy shit...

The empty buildings are costing the taxpayer £4m per MONTH to maintain:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-14974552

Thanks, labour

Apple will 'own games industry'

Agreed...

What a crock of shit.

30,000 Shreks besmirch BeautifulPeople

Don't forget....

...The Vorderman. Oh yes.

Remastered 4K, 3D Titanic steams towards cinemas

Actually...

... 3D projectors are different to 2D. Not that I'm a fan of 3D particularly.

Facebook twins lose court case

Er...

Did you read the subheading, or even the article? It was the JUDGE who had the porn stash. A stash belonging to a greedy, spoilt college boy wouldn't get so much of a mention I wouldn't think

W**k-O-Meter

Yes...

Just looked it up. It does indeed aqppear to be real!

Modern times, eh..?

Good one Reg

Someone put some real effort into those fake screenshots. Your April fools are getting better each year

WTF is... cloud gaming?

Hmmm...

"The price of games will plummet, as publishers can reach consumers directly without the need for retailers"

Yeah right, that'll happen.

Still, this is an intersting premise. However, the idea of having a physical game you can play years down the line (as I still do with some of the better PS1 titles such as FF7) may disappear. I can't see a service like this storing games online indefinitely. Then of course there are the usual cloud issues (service outages etc) and the fact that the UK broadband network is not yet anywhere near equipped to handle HD game streaming. But if, some years down the line they offer a decent range of new games for a competitive monthly fee, there could be a future for a service such as this.

Black Ops is the best selling videogame EVER

Meh....

I preferred Modern Warfare 2

Fukushima is a triumph for nuke power: Build more reactors now!

Good article...

May be a little early to tell, but the content seems to make a lot of sense from the facts presented so far. The sensationalist 'we're doomed' reporting found in most of the media this weekend have driven me to despair. This is a welcome breath of fresh reporting. One question, however:

"..performed magnificently in the face of a disaster hugely greater than they were designed to withstand"

"Then the tsunami – which the plants weren't designed for at all – struck"

Why, in a country founded on a faultline and prone to huge-scale natural disasters that can strike at any moment, weren't the ABSOLUTE WORST scenarios anticipated and prepared for at the design stage? This suggests there may have been a huge amount of luck involved, as well as good planning.

iPhone to whup Sony PSP 2

Nah...

The PSP2 isn't supposed to be a direct competitor to the iPhone. Sure, many commuters etc. won't be happy with the idea of carting around a second device in addition to their Jesus phone purely to play games on the train, but that isn't the point. This isn't aimed at that market.

If the PSP2 really does live up to the hype and if Sony can keep the firmware under control to cut down piracy (a MAJOR problem for the original), this has the potential to be great, and to breathe new life into the portable console market.

Man found guilty of battery after ejaculating in co-worker's drink

That last line...

..was in very poor taste (no pun intended):

"Tiffany apparently burst into tears after a verdict, prompting a sherriff's deputy to bring her tissues."

Still, I had a cheeky giggle to myself after reading it

Passport office loses applications

Great...

I just sent them a renewal form, including plenty of personal info, a cheque (complete with bank details, of course) and my old, not quite expired yet passport. Nice to know my entire identity is in safe hands.