Posts by ideapete

Inventor flames Reg, HP in memristor brouhaha

Unconventional Computing as in

An Abacus , that explains everything

Stick to sauce

That's what happens when an HP anagram gets outa the sauce business and into Monty Python Memristors when he is playing with himself in an infinite loop where Apple lives anyway - so there

Even brilliant sysadmins need help plugging holes

no such thing

As a free lunch or free audit and what about the weenie problem of Internal Security problems ( 80% isnt it ) duh

Nokia flogs off WiMAX biz

WIMAX Invents

Pink Slips - Duh

seems the typo was right the first time

" Why Max " do we need this bloody non technology ?

Verizon slips $3.6bn shiv into AT&T, T-Mobile ribs

How that read in Dtz land

Verizon rutscht $ 3,6 Mrd. shiv in AT & T, TMobile Rippen

Or shortened VZon shiv Rut mobile ribben - the Sopranos it ain't but possibly food for Discworld

Its da Math

probably a typo by a scared typist or 29 million people blew apart with being angry at this so you get roughly 259m pops - ( sic )

Assange: 'iPhone, BlackBerry, Gmail users - you're all screwed'

wuznt he the one

doing the screwing ?

its not isit

My hat is made of wood sir, how dare you malign it with the tinsult

Micron's glass memory monster chews up slowcoach flash

I always wondered What my wife has in her head

Must be Phase-Change Memory (PCM) its like lightening changes her mind in milliseconds

How Apple beat IBM in Steve Jobs' first retail war

Ditto really great read

Great illustration of the basics - the basics and the Jobsian focus on Customer interaction and quality. Its not rocket science but surprisingly few companies get it today

Very good read

Second water utility reportedly hit by hack attack

Build " Crappy " systems and get rich - CRUD OS wins

Step 1 - The lowest bidder builds a crappy system for Crappy Utility Developer operator / supplier (CRUD-OS)

Step 2 - Install antiquated SCADA oversight devices ( Stuxnet used the same gateway )

Step 3 - Hackers go through the open SCADA doors and have fun

Step 4 - ( CRUD-OS) climb on the security paranoia bandwagon

Step 5 -(CRUD- OS ) suck more public money to fix their FUBAR

Step 6 - Repeat step one and up --- ad infinitum ---

Britain's Harrier jump-jets reprieved to fly and fight again

Marines will always

Buy anything to get a good jump "Semper Fi "

Eurozone crisis: We're all dooomed! Here's why

Burley-aint gonna goni doesnt

Total slander Burley-aint gonna goni doesn't use condoms totally hun - italionao ( my pun my pun )

Reusable plastic rolled Lira only (ouch)

no he said

You will labor UNDER the value of your non property

Boffins build electric car from a single molecule

Ok Ill buy it

How many boffins can you get in a car that fits on the head of a molecule and does it hurt ?

Prince Harry given free run of Arizona town's womenfolk

Harrys weapon works and was Paul right ?

So on the testimoany of the Gila Maidens can we conclude that it DOES and is it now official brit policy that you have to wear a uniform and be in another country to try yours out ?

Sure does put a new slant on Paul Revers' line " The British are Coming "

Process, not just product, will save your IT department

Another one for Steve

To repeat his often used mantra RTFM is dead those that do not get it will be also

Last but not least Technology is a verb not a noun ( repeat for security / firewalls ad infinitum )

How many dumb companies have purchased security systems by name instead of what they could ( or could not do.

Cheered on by the sturm and drang IT apocalypse mob

News of Steve Jobs' death causes market jitters

The meaning of life ?

We often ask ourselves "What is the meaning of Life ? "

Then we see what Steve Jobs did and it becomes really clear

‘Stay Hungry, Stay foolish,’” Yes indeed !

Ballmer: Windows Phone can win third place in mobile!

Dumb and Dumber

Google creates an Android smartphone

Apple creates a smart device series Phone / Pad

Microsoft creates a dumber than dumb phone

Go for the tin cans and sting Redmond it will work better

Ballmer reprises 'developers, developers, developers' chant

He doesn't have one

Balmer doesn't have a past , he was created from a defective code batch before BC or NT somewhere around there

Whose and Old wun den

You and the crap you built , please transfer to an alternate universe

Oracle's Africa dealings under FBI, SEC, DoJ investigation

Whereisitthen

And all the information about this is contained in Oracle RDBMS to which you need to run a SQL report created by an Oracle process to get at it

The world gets dumber and Larry's boat gets bigger - Duh

Russian rocket flub threatens to empty ISS

What goes UP

Must come down , if its Russian make that times 10 very fast or as they say Chyort voz'mi! its right above us ( Damn it!, Oh shit! ) how big is that Polnyi pizdets space vokzal again

Samsung 'mulls bid for' HP's orphaned webOS

Wow impressive Zombi Move

if you cannot copy live things buy DEAD ones

UK could have flooded world with iPods - Sir Humphrey

Ya didnt have one

Total Bs Ya didn't have a Steve and all your inventors studied " The Life of Brian " so at least you got the name for some good software

Quality Vs Cost

To true - You build projects with Quality ( Iphone / Pod / Pad from Steve ) and eventually costs go down and Quality soars

You do it with cheap cost focus and the reverse happens , Quality down and costs soar, unemployment through the roof.

Imagine a Brit gov sponsored Ipad the size and cost of an aircraft carrier, then again you could sell that to the far east when their Russian never used carrier submarine does its dive sideways

Where is Q when we need him ?

Not on

Innnnnnnnnn his Ipod in his trousers

Just how will Apple restrict device-ID snooping in iOS 5?

The Force

Knows where U are so whasapoint

Dosent that hurt

when U pull it without telling someone or even when U do

Free Ride: Disney, Fela Kuti and Google's war on copyright

Gimme a Link

To the book so I can BUY it !!!!!!!!!

This guy makes sense and in this business that's beyond rare

Apple pictures iOS on your wall

Bansky dunnit

http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/pint_32.png.Already - and in color 2

Look at the post below

Trawl all you want the US army already did it. Relating to the great Feynman and the patent for a dollar joke which is sadly true. In the UK they stiffed the boffin for his quid ( or maybe 6 pence )

Sam Sung

But Steve got the money

Good reminder

He who dreams and invents things is one thing , He who has a BIG legal department defines what reality IS and will sue the crap outa you if you disagree

Steve says IT-IS

Apple submits a patent and at the top you probably see the acronym IT / IS or " this is unique to Info Tech / Int or Info Syst but what Big A really means is

" Steve says IT IS so that's frigging it "

Been doing that 4 years

http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/pint_32.pngBack to the future AGAIN - Got wimote Got wall-screen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT_HkU_jAIk unless they want to make porn work better , now there's an opening ( pun ) -- Do it on the wall

Wasn't he great

Nice post - We need to clone the great Feynman's DNA and flood the world with him.

The great Bongo player must be looking from on high in amazement at all the wannabees who couldn't reach higher than his bootlaces ( which he didn't use either )

OWK is off for the weekend

He got nabbed loading laptops in his shuttle outside of Curry's and will not get his freedom or light-saber back till Monday

The Greeks Dunnit

Give up all techies - the Greeks really own the patents to everything as we all know Plato and Aristotle invented it all

Hey dumbo, Facebook isn't sharing telephone numbers

The Guvmint dunnit

Simple innit or it wuz that geezer Nixon

Blackberry's BBM service name racially sensitive ?

How long before our politically correct crowd moan about the racial implications of their sweet yobos, of a specific color, who just like to chuck objects through glass windows in the spirit of fun, getting their Blackberry's BBM service disconnected ( ouch)

Travelodge blames 'vindictive individual' for email database breach

To right

http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/pint_32.pngban EULA's and make everybody accountable , enough garbage. Sadly idiots that believe paper and data are a replacement for human accountability will wander in ever decreasing circles Ad infinitum without beer 2

Will someone for once

http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/pint_32.pngJust say , hey we screwed up , mea culpa and here is your free whatever and how in the hell do they know he / she was vindictive . Most security systems ( like this one ) are a joke and whoever did it was probably LOL not a vindictive bone in their body .

Imagine this in Plodland

Yus guvnor wen i threwed the brick into the jelery winder i wus perfickly calm after a few pints no agro attal

Well well naughty man as long as you didn't get angry or upset with someone go and sin no more

Scotland Yard probes News of the World computer hacking claims

Bent Coppers launch full investigation of Wikipedia

To find out what acronyms and hacking really mean

The Dick that isn't thinks they are medical terms !

Adobe releases lengthy list of Apple Lion woes

Adobes Walls of Crud land like a Thud

Gotta go with the Jobsians on this one. After watching the other side of our business struggle with every major system upgrade on the windows OS including 7 , Vista etc etc and its Adobe suite . Adobe doesn't play well on any upgrade system Mac or OS whatever . I even watched at Gig and up fixes and patches recommended by barely comprehensible overseas tech support and rolled over laughing when most didn't work, unravel that crap forgetaboutit. Its also fun to see the eager beaver techs find way cheaper smaller faster apps that does the jobs ( pun ) better.

When the heck are we going to kill the he said she said its the OS no its the App blame game

Really simple metaphor is that Adobe Suet ( my pun ) Concrete castle is and will always be really cumbersome heavy crud and the world is moving like lightening to small and simple.

Then again what is usabilty ?

Its not only the programming its the whole silly idea that software isolated testing of any kind can resolve the real human user needs. Agile my ass , how many usability workflow study patterns do you see in any software meeting about the crucial point of " How people really use or stuff " How many internal feedback studies on user pattern use and problems do you see.

Its simply screw it we have a EULA and why should we give a dam. Frustration WTF will zap most of the user complaints and help desks staff with Tagalog speakers will zap most of the rest and as introverts we know the extroverted users are full of it and they probably drink wine anyway so up theirs RTFM its based language is Mandarin and perfectly incomprehensible or they post on the Reg totally radical.

Murdoch parliamentary pandemonium: Shock snap

One "small" problem

The NASA guy is obviously trying to give ( or sell ) them a used rocket ( or Shuttle ) or maybe sell meeting space on the Space Station where Johnny will have a brainteaser with his pie ( in the sky ) Wendi probably owns all of it anyway. They left out his sale sign

Well done indeed PlayM

Rupert Murdoch was never Keyser Soze

The New Wizard of Oz Sequel - The case of the missing small round objects - Act 1

Johnny, whose name implied he had some but didn't, was trounced by Wendi whose sex implied she didn't but obviously did. Ed who shared his with David wasn't wearing them that day so was out of the picture. Gordon always said his were stolen by Tony who rented them as needed anyway, or so Cherie said. Rupert had upside down golden ones and had them fearlessly protected by Wendi and she checked them often. James got rid of his as he was sadly awaiting a pair like Rupert which probably will not happen as his sister Liz has a bigger pair that work anyway. Boris had the biggest ones in town but claimed parliamentary privileged to play with them so no one could watch except by appointment. The Royals all claim theirs are better as they have crowns and are bright blue ( ouch ) and they wear white gloves in case they have to handle ( Do not say play with ) the ghastly things

Stay tuned for Act 2.

Announcement ( The New Wizard of OZ ) playing down under

Wendi's part has been filled by a lady with real balls

Cowardly Lion , Tin-man, Scarecrow applications for parts ( pun) are totally oversubscribed

Ex–News International boss Brooks denies bribing cops

The curse of the big Brown Blair NOW box

The story so far

Tony the red cap goblin knew his tribe would stab him in the rear end one-day especially the Brown ( flush it down crowd ) and so together with the beautiful princess Reb they created a NOW box that accepted crap and paid out coins. ( If you where a blue with a pointy hat it paid you two ) . The curse he placed on it ( unknown by the beautiful Reb ) was that immediately the redcaps got replaced by the blues it would start to smell and if anyone tried to turn off the box it would explode. Somewhere along the line the box was sold to the Murder of the Orchs ( MO s lead by King Rupert) family so Tony added another curse " Screw with me and my caps and the smell will stick to you like glue ( aided by the blue, with the pointy hats ) . Well they did and it did and when the MOs tried to shut down the NOW box and make it NOT NOW it exploded and boy did they get showered.

The MO prince Jamie who took his eyes of the box trying to look down Rebs negligee got really covered. The boxes hiding place was in the middle of Jock Yard and they were tasked with making sure expensive shit went in and real money came out and only they knew that it paid you two if you wore blue with a pointy ( hat preferably ) . The other blue crowd led by Dave and his assistant partial blue Nick screamed at the Pointy hatted blues WTF and some of the bigger ones called " Head Rozer Peelers " ( No one knows why ) Paul and John ( no relation but will they sing ) tried to jump on the NOT NOW box to shut it up and it blew ( no relation ) them right outa the yard. The MO crowd who are from a land far far away who don't really believe in fairy stories except for equal rights are looking for Rebas twin to tell them WTF is going on.

Stay tuned to the next Epi - Slode

Will Dave come back from the land of Zoom with some blue Impis to asaguy the NOT NOW supporters up the rear ( They are experts at that )

Will anyone figure out that Ed and Dave are changeling puppets created by the NOT NOW redcap Tony

Will Boris stop sharpening his axe and write some jokes

Will Rebecca go into the room with the entire met for a down and dirty and come out smiling ( Tickets available at your box office )

Will Shakespeare's lawyer sue the whole lot for copy write infringement and making his works all jumbled up and incomprehensible

Will the Pointy hatted blue rozers keep swan diving the box and who will get blown the furthest including a Dick that isnt ( we will keep you posted )

Special thanks to the Goons and Terry Pratchett for making my mind the mess it is

( : ( : pete