* Posts by Smallbrainfield

464 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Jun 2007

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Filesharers petition Downing Street on 'three strikes'

Smallbrainfield
Alien

Blame Elvis

The recording industry exists in a bubble that started in the fifties and still exists to this day. It starts with pop music. Sure, there were artists before Elvis, but his impact on the music business is a legacy that stays with us, creating an unsustainable belief in the power of music as a media and as a business. It's a background to our lives and colours our emotions.

It's built on fallacy and dreams and it's beautiful and crap all at the same time, because it speaks to our emotions.

And it cannot continue to exist in it's current form, simply because it is bloated beyond it's means to support itself.

The emotional baggage of music haunts us all to some degree, even politicians, who will not want to see the music industry die because secretly, some of them still want to be pop stars. Does this make sense? I'm trying to explain why there is such an attachment to music, why it's important that artists are allowed to make money, even shitloads of money.

It would be nice if Simon Cowell drove his Maybach into the Thames tomorrow, but it isn't going to happen as part of the model means people like him, moguls, as it were, are a part of the pop story. You can probably draw a line from Col Tom Parker, via Brian Epstein and Pete Waterman, all the way to Cowell. It would probably be a line made of glitter some of the way, rhinestones for part and almost certainly some of it would be made of cocaine.

How does this relate to piracy? Well, I think all the heartstring tugging will inevitably bring the worst kind of legislation against us, one that for all it's good intentions will penalise people that didn't do anything, while the so called freetard get away with what they're still getting away with.

I liked the idea that was banded about a while back of subsidising music downloads by adding a few quid a month to the fee you pay to an ISP. ISPs that sign up for this could advertise the fact that their users can download prosecution free, while other ISPs that don't sign up have to cut off users that download.

A fee like that would become invisible to most users, paying at the point of internet access. How you pass that money onto the artist is another problem.

Oh blimey, I haven't mentioned films and other stuff. Oh well. I'm sure someone will sort it all out, for the worst. Wibble.

Vote now for your fave sci-fi movie quote

Smallbrainfield

Aliens

Hicks: This little girl survived for weeks without proper training...

Hudson: Why don't you put her in charge?

Ace film.

NASA captures Martian avalanche

Smallbrainfield
Alien

Looks more like

the dust trail of a group of martian dune buggy racers to me. Possibly racing into a cave to hide from those pesky spy cameras from earth.

Jimbo Wales dumps lover on Wikipedia

Smallbrainfield
Coat

I think most of the people willing to bid on the t-shirt

will be more interested if Rachel Marsden has washed it after wearing it.

*pervs*

Warner Bros revs up live action Akira

Smallbrainfield
Stop

As someone has already mentioned,

the anime deviates significantly from the original manga. However, why supplant the entire story to New York? Why not just make an original film instead? Or even acknowledge a debt to Akira and make something else?

I would still love a bike like Kaneda's, mind.

http://www.fayerwayer.com/2005/07/la-moto-de-akira/

Calls to ban hoodie-busting sonic weapon

Smallbrainfield

There was a great story on Radio 4 this morning

Enterprising young wags are downloading the sound onto their mobile phones and playing it during lessons, much to the distress of other pupils and incomprehension of teachers.

The spirit of Jeremy Beadle is indeed alive and well.

Tolkien-inspired oil painting 'immortalizes' Silicon Valley rich people

Smallbrainfield

Yes, but

what if she's a rubbish artist?

Considering the subject matter this is highly likely, given the number of cross-eyed Legolas* sketches on the web. Most of the others tend to be homo-erotic pics of Frodo being 'intimate' with Sam. I'd be worried if I was one of these Silicon Valley rich types.

*and at least as many boss-eyed Arwens.

Three Little Pigs book deemed offensive to Muslims

Smallbrainfield

I think I hear the sound of Richard Littlejohn

bursting apart trying to type "You couldn't make it up!!!" Well here's hoping.

It is rather daft, though.

Spirit discovers life on Mars

Smallbrainfield

I looks a bit like the Copenhagen mermaid statue

http://www.fantompoet.com/index.php?showimage=489

Nude Italian models in kit-on protest

Smallbrainfield
Coat

"bottom"

Gumph!! Fnarr fnarr!

Government rejects elephants for pets e-petition

Smallbrainfield

Elephants like a drop of the sauce, too.

I've heard tell of elephants getting drunk on fermening sugar cane and running amok. I'm sure I once read (possibly in Fortean Times) about a herd of elephants attacking a beer wagon in India.

I don't know whether they were wearing hoodies.

DARPA whirly-wing jet gyrocraft hits noise snags

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Wow

That Rotodyne was pure Gerry Anderson.

Stuff noise pollution. We need Rotodyne!

Former beauty queen cuffed for torturing ex

Smallbrainfield

Smile for the camera!

I don't fancy yours much, as they say. Is she in a straightjacket in that picture?

MySpace celebrity hacker downs hacking forum

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

"Amusingly enough, I actually *am* a Mensa member"

When I read that comment, I imagined the voice of Comic Book Store Guy from The Simpsons reading it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must go and re-alphabetise my Xena Warrior Princess action figures, (boxed of course).

This article is suffering from a dearth of Paris Hilton, methinks.

Facebook CEO capitulates (again) on Beacon

Smallbrainfield
Coat

"Sites that participate in Bacon"

Methinks someone has made a pigs ear...

Brits declare Paris most pointless celeb

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Without going too far with this,

surely Heather Mills, who, pre-Macca was a committed fund raiser for various charities should be further down the list than a complete no mark like Jack Tweed?

Some of the people on the list have actually achieved something, however minor. This list makes no sense.

Mindless food-tubes like Hilton, Goody and Tweed are proper no marks and deserve to be at the top. Also, wherefore Calum Best?

Greenpeace slams Apple Nintendo over eco-credentials

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

I'm still not buying a PS3

no matter how less ecologically disturbing they are than a Wii.

Darling admits Revenue loss of 25 million personal records

Smallbrainfield
Alert

Phew!

Well, at least if it's TNT that have lost them, you can rest assured that they'll be smashed into thousands of pieces as well.

Thank the maker for ham-fisted carriers!

Police Complaints joins inquest into Darling data giveaway

Smallbrainfield
Unhappy

Some poor tea jockey is going to get

the blame for what is probably an endemic lack of care taken with personal information. Darling actually called some of their systems 'ancient' on the Today programme this morning.

Beer set to hit four quid a pint

Smallbrainfield
Happy

I feel a bit bad for you lot down in London Village

I went out on the sauce last Thursday in Manchester.

£1.20 a pint of lovely Mild in Sinclairs Oyster bar. I went out with £50 beer money and came home with £35 change.

Mild for the win!

Best Buy sells 'last Wii' twice

Smallbrainfield
Happy

Wiis are like magic dust here in the UK

I was over in the US a few weeks ago and there were loads in the store I visited in Las Vegas. Cheaper too. I had to pay through the nose to secure one via eBay a few weeks ago as they've been sold out over here for weeks.

You lot don't know you're born. ;-)

I wouldn't mind, but prior to this console I wouldn't have a Nintendo in the house as I always thought they were for kids. Anyway, I've got one now. Bask in my smugness.

B3ta served DMCA notice for Photoshop Prince challenge

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Apparently the B3ta and B3tards servers are

in the US, and as such are liable to takedown under US law.

It's certainly not worth the hassle and we can all go back to not remembering who Prince is (was).

Smallbrainfield
Unhappy

Well I'm sickened by this turn of events.

It took me most of the week to think of something vaguely humourous about the humourless bastard.

Todays board should make interesting viewing. I imagine Rob will be watching through his fingers.

'I'll be back' is most-quoted movie line

Smallbrainfield
IT Angle

So how are people misquoting

"I'll be back"? It's probably harder to sod up than get right.

Paris Hilton exits missionary position to save Universe

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes

Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes.

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Considers Hutu Visit

Picks Japan over Rwanda. Tutsi daisy!

Paris Hilton heads for the cryogenic freezer

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Hopefully, enlightened future society,

with it's silver togas and food pills and flying cars will embrace the simple joy of thawed-out Paris, as we have in this epoch.

What war-ravaged, post-apocalyptic future society of mute humans and intelligent ape overlords will make of her is another matter. I'm sure Paris won't notice the difference.

Fire service may charge for shifting fat people

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

How short is the skirt?

Is she pretty?

Student suspended in gun rights email row

Smallbrainfield

I don't understand

...why he wants to conceal his weapons. Surely a couple of six-shooters strapped to your chest is more of a deterrent than the possibilty you might have a gun in your manbag?

It would certainly bring moseying back into fashion if people could openly carry weapons. Not sure how a game of football would play out with a rifle over your shoulder though.

Fairly realistic flying car offered for 2009 delivery

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

"Marty, where we're going, we won't need roads...

....just a runway. Oh, and you might want to leave that skateboard behind, I don't think we'll get up in the air with that on board."

100Gbps Internet2 is ready

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Fastest porn downloads in the west.

And it's for bloody students. Pah.

Qinetiq touts 'Transformer-like' mobility-scooter killbot

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Does it play "Pump up the volume" as well?

I think we should be told.

Also, @ Andrew Norton, did you ever meet the legendary George Francis and was he as strangely manwomanlike as he appeared on TV or was that just the nerves?

Nissan builds twirly-cab sideways electric pod-car

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Clearly inspired by the Jonny Cab from Total Recall.

That didn't fare too well against Arnie's road rage, did it?

iPod Nano in airport trouser conflagration horror

Smallbrainfield
Jobs Horns

Was he listening to Jerry Lee Lewis at the time?

I think we should be told.

Facebook 'friend request' lands UK man in jail

Smallbrainfield

It serves him right for signing up to Facebook,

the big silly man-sheep.

British teens offered boozing qualification

Smallbrainfield

Re: Re: Marky W's comment about mild

Mr Cancer can still be found lurking in the doorway of the pub, or in a specially constructed lean-to around the back.

Of course, I also forgot Mr Nuts, Mr Crisps and Mr Pork-Scratchings, the jovial trio at the bar, sometiimes also found warming themselves around the fire, laughing at the world through greasy spittle-flecked lips, shortly before collapsing in the toilets of a massive heart attack.

The pub is a harsh mistress.

Smallbrainfield

Re: Marky W's comment about mild

Your dad is incorrect in his humourous explanation of how mild is produced. Mild is the drink of kings; a proper drinkers drink, sitting proudly alongside Mr Bitter and Mr Stout. Mr Lager is the late to the table ne'er do well who talks too loudly and interrupts. He is only tolerated by the others as he is related in some way, though he's clearly not from around these parts.

Elsewhere in the pub, Mr and Mrs Wine are rolling around on the floor grappling with their teenage daughter, Alcopop, who is screaming and laughing while simultaneously trying to defecate into the spitoon. In the corner, the Spirits family look on, disgusted, before rolling out into the street and going home.

US Special Ops buys hydrogen droid strato-comms tech

Smallbrainfield

Hang on...

...wasn't the Terminator powered by hydrogen cells?

So, what's the first rule of Reg Club?

Smallbrainfield

The first rule of Reg Club is...

you don't talk about the IT angle in comments on a Lester Haines story.

IBM virtual strike goes ahead in Sadville

Smallbrainfield

There's a union in Italy called EMF?

Unbelievable!

MIT student walks into airport wearing circuit board and wires

Smallbrainfield

Quoting Adam Azarchs...

" Do I have to label all my positions "not a bomb" just in case? (actually, that would be a really bad idea, but my point stands)"

Posessions, Adam, not positions.

If you labelled your positions, that would be akin to "The Joy of Sex" or the Kama Sutra, something I'm sure everyone would rather not see happen, let alone have to think about.

Man sues God

Smallbrainfield

Doomed to fail as soon as God...

...has to swear on the bible. Having sworn by almighty God to tell the truth, She can then go on to say what She bloody well likes.

I hate Alanis Morrisette.

Welcome indeed to the billionaire toyshop

Smallbrainfield

I wouldn't fancy trying to dock an airship

with a skyscraper. They tried it with the Empire State Building back in the 1930s without succeeding. Too many crosswinds and updraughts in a city. See 'Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow' for an idealised CGI version of events. Also, who would fancy walking across a gangplank hundreds of feet above street level?

Still, it would be cool.

The iPhone arrives, but is O2 being taken for a ride?

Smallbrainfield

I have a mobile phone.

It cost me 35 quid and is on pay as you go. I can ring people up on it and people can ring me. I can text and recieve texts and when I get bored there's a game called Nature Park that's a bit like Tetris. Actually it's a bit more like Columns that Tetris.

My only problem with it is that the little rubber bit on the back has peeled off, so it slides off the dashboard in the car when I set off and forget it's there. It's so irritating when that happens.

Am I losing perspective?

Come celebrate the web...

Smallbrainfield

Grim

I heard about this yesterday. I would have thought most people, even drunk or stoned would have used their phone to call an ambulance.

Perhaps the prison will let him keep his cameraphone, so he can film himself being beaten up by fellow inmates. He could post that on You Tube.

Peruvian 'meteorite' strike provokes noxious gas attack

Smallbrainfield

The Colour Out Of Space

by HP Lovecraft. Brrr.

Cursing senior plod samples electric justice

Smallbrainfield

ANDY CRANE!!

Has nobody else noticed Andy Crane in the second video? Where's Edd the Duck now, eh, Andy?

'Happy slapping' vids prompt Brown to push net filters

Smallbrainfield

Or

...just don't buy them phones with video capability. That would work.

Internet is not for children!

Moller touts flying-saucer hovercar, again

Smallbrainfield

I remember seeing that flying car prototype

in the newpapers back in the eighties. It still looks bobbins. The BBC report was a carbon copy of every other report I've ever seen on Moller. He must have powers of mesmerism.

Irish firm seeks Trainee Assistant Banana Ripener

Smallbrainfield

Is Mick really the best stereotypical Oirish name you could come up with?

Honestly.

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