* Posts by Smallbrainfield

464 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Jun 2007

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Forcefields will guard Mars ships from solar ion storms

Smallbrainfield
Boffin

Re: Deep space

Yep, deep space should refer to any area outside the solar system, (beyond the perimiter of solar influence, whatever you want to argue that is). It's a long walk home, wherever it is.

Shields up, Mr Sulu!

BBC's speak you're branes collapses under Brand-Ross sex outrage

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Down

*fails to give much of a hoot*

This story has no merit whatsoever other than it is not about the credit crunch. I don't care much for Ross, and Brand is a buffoon. They don't deserve the shitstorm they're getting for this, though.

Bryan Adams pulls a Prince on fan sites

Smallbrainfield
Unhappy

You'll be getting a takedown order from

the web sheriff for that picture on the front page, just like b3ta did with Ponce.

This is the man that bought his local pub so he could shut it down because the patrons were too noisy. I hope you're happy, record buying public.

Gamers cash in on LittleBigPlanet delay

Smallbrainfield
Stop

It's a bit of a double standard from Sony...

...but then Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells rarely fills his SUV with petrol and drives it into the side of an airport.

See Christians? If you want some respect, quit all that love nonsense and blow some stuff up.

Palin demands $15m to search her own emails

Smallbrainfield

Please for the love of all that is sane.

Please stop using that image of Sarah Palin. It sends a shiver down my spine.

Son of state lawmaker charged with Palin email hack

Smallbrainfield
Stop

Please for the love of god...

...can you stop using that picture of Sarah Palin on the front page?

Noel Edmonds defies BBC's jackbooted enforcers

Smallbrainfield
IT Angle

Ha ha ha ha ha!

He's a terrible beardy tart and no mistake.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYE0LOhkHh0

China to combine four ships to form space station

Smallbrainfield

Dai X !

That was an ace show. I had a bit of a thing for Commander Makara, then I found out recently that she was supposed to be a bloke...

Bury council carries can over spycam binmen

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Down

Fantastic news.

I live in Bury, so I assume I'm going to have to fork out for this debacle.

Perhaps they could stop wasting money on flowers (Bury has won Britain in Bloom twice) and use that to cough up the dosh instead of hitting my council tax bill.

Exposed: North Korea's taekwondo assassins

Smallbrainfield

"WTF Taekwondo"

Ha ha ha.

Noel Gallagher takes a tumble on YouTube

Smallbrainfield

"Wonderfall"

Best comment ever.

He is a gobshite, but he didn't deserve that.

I did laugh though.

Reg server and chip hack molested by Gray Lady

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Good luck in your new job

Hope you sort the gender issues out.

BBC to 'reimagine' The Thirty-nine Steps

Smallbrainfield
IT Angle

Whoever thought of the word

"re-imagine" should be slapped about the face with a bag of salad leaves from the chilled vegetable section of any of the major supermarkets and then have houmous slathered through their hair and made to stand outside in a municipal car park saying sorry, while a crowd of children dressed as Victorian street urchins point and laugh and occasionally throw half-eaten fruit and potato peelings. Ideally this would take place at a weekend.

The BBC should employ Lord Reith lookalikes to wander the corridors of it's buildings and randomly hit employees with a large rubber stamp with the word 'nobber' embossed in reverse on it's head.

Dutch unlocked iPhone site takes €700,000 then goes offline

Smallbrainfield
Go

@ Kit Temple

WTF did you need £500 worth of bamboo for?

Are you recreating the set of 'Tenko' in your back garden or something?

I think the world deserves an answer.

Ten of the Best... Bluetooth Headsets

Smallbrainfield
Unhappy

This article should be subtitled

"Ten best ways to look more of a twonk."

People with bluetooth headsets in look foolish in the extreme. This sort of thing shouldn't be engouraged, El Reg.

Kiwi cops hunt teenage serial burglar with head of Robbie Coltrane

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

It's a good idea

I think William Gibson used a similar idea in one of his novels.

Basically there was a database of criminals and each had a list of similar looking celebs, so the cops could say, "Have you seen this guy? He looks like a young Christopher Walken / Marty Feldman / Ethel Merman, etc."

Raptor and Eurofighter go head to head

Smallbrainfield

To all the folk worrying about Russia and China

Why do we always assume someone else will be the aggressor?

Russia are more likely to be invaded by us for their gas and oil resources (and China aren't going to attack anyone as long as they can sell us stuff). So on reflection, we probably do need those Eurofighters after all.

MS takes Windows 3.11 out of embed to put to bed

Smallbrainfield

I remember Windows 3.11 being installed on my work PC

It was on 6 disks as I recall. I still have some BMP wallpaper I created with MS Paint in Windows for Workgroups, so we're not all long gone.

MS DNS patch snuffs net connection for ZoneAlarm users

Smallbrainfield
Unhappy

I wonder how many poor sods downloaded this update last night

and now have no internet access? You can't find out about the problem unless you can visit a website and a fair few folk probably don't have a clue what's happened to them. I think I'm going to download Sunbelt or Comodo tonight.

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

This caught me out last night.

I figured it was the patch causing the problem, but didn't realise it was affecting Zone Alarm. Thanks for the heads up.

Hawkeye technology turns tennis into a cartoon

Smallbrainfield
Happy

That must be the shortest answer ever from amanfromMars

Clearly not a fan of tennis either.

Besuited cubicle monkey trashes office

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Sounded like eastern europeans to me

they love going crazy. I've seen GTA IV so it must be true.

The footage looks real enough to me. Some of our offices still have CRTS.

Smallbrainfield

@ Kenneth Ross

Yes, I think he gets tasered twice. I certainly stopped him in his tracks, anyway.

Fire at The Planet takes down thousands of websites

Smallbrainfield
Unhappy

Lunchtime and...

...still no b3ta. I may have to go out in the fresh air. Nice to see a few b3tans on this comments page here, though.

Uncontacted rainforest tribe caught from the air

Smallbrainfield

Start the plane! Start the plane!

Was anyone else disappointed by the new Indiana Jones film?

/in process of getting coat.

9/11 an inside job, says Irish pop folkster

Smallbrainfield

Least Sexy Corr

I reckon the other Corrs used to make him dress up as a girl Corr when they were kids, too. This is just Jim asserting his masculinity, which is pointless as we only want to know what Andrea's opinion is on all this.

Garage sale genius juices software-hawking eBayers

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Does he have any more copies for sale?

Autocad is bloody expensive. Even LT isn't cheap.

Russell T Davies bows out of Doctor Who

Smallbrainfield
Happy

I note my kids reaction is very similar to the one I had to Doctor Who..

..when I was a kid. They laugh at the funny bits and get scared at the scary bits. So it's pretty much doing it's job then.

A fair few of Russell T Davies scripts have been toss, but the show overall has been great. All credit to him and his team for making it fun and bringing some drama to Saturday nights, instead of Ant and bloody Dec. (Bringing back Dr Who also gave us Primeval, which is good fun as well.) Also, just think about the utter shite the BBC show on a Saturday night when Dr Who isn't on.

I like Catherine Tate in Doctor Who as well and Torchwood has improved immensely since it's first season. So there.

Heathrow 777 crash: Siberian cold to blame?

Smallbrainfield

Hey, I'm not an engineer either!

Perhaps we should form some sort of club?

Extreme porn bill gets final reading

Smallbrainfield
Coat

I can't imagine anything worse than browsing images on a BDSM website

and coming across a picture of Gordon Brown...

(well somebody had to make the gag. Gag... I'll get me coat.)

Winehouse cans Bond theme project

Smallbrainfield
Coat

She's holding out for....

ONE MEELION DOLLARS.

Franco robbed Sir Cliff of Eurovision win

Smallbrainfield

@Marvin the Martian

It's just improbable enough to be possibly true. Some kind of insane agreement over the Bolivian Marching Powder by the higher ups foisted on the lower orders who then have to lie, bribe and cheat the general public just to keep their jobs. Which incidentally, they hate. TV has more looneys and egos working for it than any other profession I know.

'Mad Scientist' developing powered suits for US military

Smallbrainfield

Lifting heavy ordnance?

I have a mental picture of the Power Loaders from Aliens. Slow, but great for dealing with with large extraterrestrial stowaways.

Holes in London Mayor websites leave them open to 'e-gaffes'

Smallbrainfield
Coat

I take it someone

has hacked Boris Johnson's site to include that picture of him looking gormless at the top.

Ah.

Grand Theft Auto 4 queue man stabbed in head

Smallbrainfield
Happy

@ the anonymous coward that replied to my post

Not sure what you mean by being monitored by the government due to my lack of porn/alcohol usage prior to turning 18. Are you monitored in some way? Do they know you have access to the internet?

I'm not sure how the government monitoring my teenage porn-buying escapades would have any bearing on whether or not I turned out as shockingly dull as I am. I wasn't tall enough to reach the top shelf either.

Going back to the original post, we don't actually know how old the kid in question is. You said you wouldn't mind a 14 year old playing GTA4. What if he's 8? Is that young enough? If he's not old enough to earn the cash to buy it himself, then he shouldn't be playing it. Is that a better benchmark? I don't know. Anyway, I'm off to catch up on my drinking. I didn't start 'til I was 18, you see.

Smallbrainfield

@Life imitates art

Tell youngest son no. It's an 18 title. You have to be 18 years old to buy it. Unless of course you let him watch porn, smoke, have sex, vote on your behalf and drive to the off-license to buy booze, then go right ahead.

I've never understood folk that can't read labels. I know for a fact there will be dick-headed parents in those queues buying GTA IV for their kids. Those morons are the ones that cause folk like Vaz to get their trolleys in a knot, ultimately spoiling it for the rest of us who want to play stuff like GTA.

Mel Gibson to star in Edge of Darkness

Smallbrainfield
Stop

Oh dear

If he's a fan of the original, why remake it?

I can't see Mel sniffing a vibrator, like Bob Peck did in the original.

Hellboy helmsman to direct The Hobbit

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Round Green Door-tastic choice.

Hellboy is an ace film, and Pan's Labyrinth is wonderful. If he can bring some of that to The Hobbit, all well and good. Not sure about a sequel idea, but if anyone can pull it off, it's Jackson and Del Toro.

>SAY TO BARD "SHOOT DRAGON"

I never got any futher than that, as Bard invariably couldn't be arsed shooting Smaug and Bilbo got fried.

PETA offers $1m for test tube chicken

Smallbrainfield

Psssst.

Soylent Green is made of people.

Pass it on.

El Reg celebrates 10th birthday

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

At least we know for sure now that Ashlee Vance is a bloke.

Happy Birthday, Register!

Japan turning itself into Cyberman machine civilisation

Smallbrainfield

Re: Immigration

I have a mate who lives in Japan can confirm this attitude up to a point. Conservative members of Japanese society are shit-scared of immigration.

It doesn't suprise me that they'd rather decant their brains into cybernetic bodies than accept foreigners into their society. It's a typically skewed solution, but don't take my word for it: http://www.wordpress.tokyotimes.org

especially: http://www.wordpress.tokyotimes.org/?p=2087

Comcast acquires BitTorrent for $53bn

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Ha ha ha!

Very nice.

Jimmy Wales resigns from Wikipedia

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Posted in San Francisco...

...so it's an April Fool. It only appears to have been posted after 12 noon to GMT users ?

Heh, I took the headline seriously until I noticed it had been posted in Bootnotes.

Jules Verne creeps up on ISS

Smallbrainfield

@The pedant's pedant

Oh dear. Wherever there is a pedant, there is usually another pedant standing ready to correct them. It's nuclear, not nucular.

Unless you are George W Bush.

/awaits minor punctuation mistake correction by previously unknown new species of super-pedant.

The Baying of the Hounds

Smallbrainfield

Well

I rather enjoyed reading that.

If you didn't mind being arrested, it would be great fun to walk past sniffer dogs with bags full of bones from the butchers, dog treats and old slippers to see what reaction you get from the dog.

Next time you go to the loo, bring your locked laptop with you

Smallbrainfield

Daisy Duke

Phwooar.

32nd Carry On film is go

Smallbrainfield

Cor blimey guvnor.

I can hear the bodies of Sid James, Peter Butterworth and Bernard Bresslaw thrumming at high r.p.m. even as we speak.

Terry Pratchett donates £500k to Alzheimer's charity

Smallbrainfield
IT Angle

So what if it's cynical?

I'm sure the people doing research into alzheimers don't give a monkeys.

As to charity, I'm pretty sure Pratchett has done a bit of work with charities dedicated to saving the Orang-Utan, so he's hardly Montgomery Burns

Is it cynical of me to hope Pratchett's money finds a cure then he can churn out a couple more novels, which I happen to enjoy?

Zuckerberg's Total Venom Spew is the new BillG

Smallbrainfield
Gates Horns

To the rest of the world

Mark Zuckerberg means nothing. Facebook means nothing.

Bill was King Evil because he was the overlord of Microsoft, architect of pain for a million Windows and Office users, not some website for fannying about in your dinner hour.

Honestly, it's like comparing that thing out of Cloverfield with a mildly perturbed Yorkshire Terrier.

South Korea grounds astronaut for security gaffe

Smallbrainfield

Too right they demoted him.

There's no room for idiots in space. What if he forgot to shut the airlock?

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