* Posts by Smallbrainfield

464 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Jun 2007

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Blade Runner tops sci-fi movie poll

Smallbrainfield
Terminator

Wherefore Total Recall?

Blade Runner stands up today as a good film, but I sometimes feel that the science fiction is window dressing when I watch it. But what do I know? I quite like 'Chronicles of Riddick'.

I see the mawkish ET gets a look in. Really.

Meter insecurity raises specter of free parking hacks

Smallbrainfield

I'm guessing if you got found out doing this

they'd probably just weld the clamp to your car.

Microsoft ultra-thins to 'out cool' netbooks, Apple

Smallbrainfield
FAIL

Good luck selling those ultra thins, Steve

Assuming they exist by christmas, who can afford a new piece of tat at the moment? I got a netbook cos they're smaller than a laptop and bigger than a phone, but most of all, 'cos they're cheap. It has XP on it 'cos life's too short for Linux. (Sorry, fanboys, but that's how it is with me and about 80% of the rest of the PC-buying public.) There must be a margin for a stripped down, cheap Windows 7 for netbooks. They're not going away at christmas just because somebody at Microsoft says they will.

Duh, Steve.

Wikipedia kills legendary journalist

Smallbrainfield
Unhappy

RIP Swells

Used to like his stuff in NME, turned me onto the Manics but he failed to convince me about the musical merits of Bis. Though they did do the theme to the Powerpuff Girls.

Bristol crim caught with mobile up jacksie

Smallbrainfield
Coat

@ John Hichliffe

It was the charger cable poking out of his trousers that made them suspicious in the first place...

El Reg reader crafts Gordo Lolcatprat

Smallbrainfield

Needs more Impact font

with drop-shadow around it for the full effect.

Twitter Yi not, as Beijing bins Bing

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Headline of the month

I can't help feeling a bit envious of the Chinese population being denied Twitter. Is that wrong?

Debbie Gibson battles Mega Shark and Giant Octopus

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

I bet that

all the CGI in the film is in the trailer. It is preposterously good trailer though.

Duke Nukem Forever developer defunct, says staffer

Smallbrainfield
Unhappy

I did check up from time to time to see if there was any progress..

There was some talk that it might see the light of day this year. Or was it next year?

I imagine the offices will continue to be staffed late at night, by a ghoulish, insane programmer, who frightens off the locals and is eventually captured by a group of plucky teenagers and their dog, before finally being unmasked as the caretaker, who was planning to buy up the land and sell it on to developers and would have got away with it too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids, and that dog.

Conservative US shock-jock to sue Wacky Jacqui

Smallbrainfield

Oddly, I have to side with our unhinged home secratary on this one.

We've got enough extremist looneys of our own without importing them as well. Lunatic witch is pretty spot on, though.

'Lunatic' Smith doubles ID card costs for Mancunians

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Down

Sixty quid for something I don't want or need?

I just paid for a passport, wtf do I need an id card for? Is there a checkpoint on the road into Salford now?

Kebabs pose 'no danger whatsoever', Russians claim

Smallbrainfield
Coat

I am Alicia Silverstone

and I haven't made any good films in a while.

Kebabs are great stuff after a night out, replacing lost salts and other stuff, probably. I even eat the slice of cucumber.

Lotus offers to end e-car silent running

Smallbrainfield
Coat

Playing cards in the spokes

would be a much cheaper solution.

Student sentenced for F-ucked up grade hack

Smallbrainfield
Coat

Ferris Bueller's Day in Court

Did Mr Rooney spot the grades changing on his monitor?

PETA pitches for Pet Shop Animal Shelter Boys

Smallbrainfield
Boffin

Invokes Chris Lowe icon!

PETA are a rich bunch of winnits.

Students Union reps vote to ban cheap booze for students

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Down

The description of this guy makes my skin crawl

Career politicians should be sent to a remote island to argue amongst themselves.

When I was at Sheffield Polytechnic, going back a few years here, you could get leathered for a few quid at the union bar. It was the cheapest place in town. I seem to recall Huddersfield and Leeds had similar establishments, where knowing the right person could often lead to a night of free or at least very very cheap drinking. The beer was in plastic glasses and the floors were sticky, but at the time it was the best place in the world.

It's a shame that cavalier attitude is going, but that's progress I suppose. I am genuinely saddened by this turn of events.

Lloyd-Webber calls for clampdown on ISPs

Smallbrainfield
Pirate

I can't stand Lloyd Webber

Why did they pick such an unctious person as their spokesman? Alongside John Birt as well. It's like they want people to rip off the music industry.

Note to music industry: send someone sexier next time.

That point Lloyd Webber makes about delaying investment in faster broadband. Way to win everyone over, nobhead.

Wacky Jacqui spanked by husband

Smallbrainfield
Go

Ha ha ha!

I wondered how long it would take this tale to turn up on El Reg.

So what films was he watching then? I think we should be told.

Profs design AK47-locating 'smart dust' helmets

Smallbrainfield
Go

This sounds like the sort of kit

every GI* should carry. Possibly in their Helm.

*Genetic Infantryman, of course, like Rogue Trooper.

BT names first 29 exchanges for fibre rollout

Smallbrainfield
Go

Yay

I live in Bury. Bring it on.

Science-boosting thickie questionnaire backfires

Smallbrainfield
Go

I like the later question about whether evolution is still going on...

Answers

a: Yes

b: No

c: No, there's no such thing as evolution

d: Not Sure

I'm not going to make fun of merkins being daft as we have plenty of our own morons over here in Blighty.

Hollywood to totally recall Total Recall

Smallbrainfield
Coat

This is terrible news.

McDonalds could cash in though... http://www.b3tards.com/u/899d78c16b9bb1676226/kuato_pounder_sml.jpg

UK kiddies cop a righteous tasering

Smallbrainfield
Coat

My grandfather took out a machine gun nest,

... but she ran off with an american servicemen. Bloody Yanks....

Coppers that I know can't wait to get their hands on tasers. But only because they want to come home in one piece after their shift.

Hitler ordered Luftwaffe to spare Blackpool

Smallbrainfield
Go

Apparently he wanted Rochdale town hall...

...taken apart and shipped back to Germany. as well. He was a closet pie-eater basically.

Blackpool isn't irredeemably shit, it just attracts a lot of people who think they can behave like arseholes just because it's Blackpool. You could say that about anywhere where they allow lots of British people to get horribly drunk.

Microsoft goes retail with own shops

Smallbrainfield

All the comments so far forget that Microsoft does

have one bit of popular hardware to base it's stores around, namely the X-Box. I reckon they'll base their stores largely around that, the games and accessories.

If they are going to sell PC hardware, they already have branded mice and keyboards. They'll probably push high end Dell/Sony/HP machines to show off their products.

New Zealand bolts net filtering regime into place

Smallbrainfield

They can't be that bad at censorship in NZ

Peter Jackson after all gave us 'Bad Taste' and 'Meet the Feebles'.

Man robs convenience store with Klingon sword

Smallbrainfield
Coat

Typical Klingon moron.

If he'd just taken a type-2 phaser and stunned the clerk, he could have opened the till at his leisure and taken out the security cameras too.

Half Life 2 used for firefight fire drill

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

They could at least have given him the crowbar.

That would have made short work of those office windows.

Iranian rocket puts satellite into orbit

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

I think this is great news.

Maybe the fatheads at NASA will pull their thumbs out of their arses and actually get some work done putting the AWESOME back into rocket technology. And what is it with Barack Obama's comments? Whiny, moaning bobbins, he hasn't got a clue. If he wants to put some cash into his economy he should be investing in a proper space programme.

Russia, China, Richard Branson and now Iran. The space race is back on, daddio.

Swiss cops sniff out dope plantation on Google Earth

Smallbrainfield

Norbert

is a wonderful name.

Universal thaws out The Thing

Smallbrainfield
Unhappy

You've got to give it to Ron Moore

The guy must have some big cohones taking on a remake of The Thing. The John Carpenter version is one of the best horror films ever. Ever.

'Bart Simpson' punts Church of Scientology

Smallbrainfield
IT Angle

Mmmmmmm, chocolate coated operating thetans....

D'oh!

Doner kebabs: Death wrapped in pitta bread

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Definitely having a kebab next time I'm out for a drink.

It's like a kind of slow acting Fugu.

I love kebabs, but I do miss the tandoori kebab. You don't see them much these days.

German engineers punt 'open source' OLED-clad car

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

OLED panels, eh?

Now you can really tell that fool that just cut you up what you think of him, with diagrams.

A new era of road rage beckons, methinks.

Hastings junkie hotspots pop up on Google Maps

Smallbrainfield

Smacktastic

More of this sort of thing.

UFO wind turbine prang site: Exclusive photos

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

The week in Playmobil

Awesome.

Kirk's Khan nemesis beams up at 88

Smallbrainfield
Unhappy

Farewell Senor Senior

You will be missed.

http://www.b3tards.com/u/899d78c16b9bb1676226/khaaan.jpg

Council to crack down on Cracknuts Lane

Smallbrainfield
Stop

You couldn't make it up gone mad

My favourite regularly defaced street name is Canal Street in Manchester, which for those who don't know runs through the middle of the gay district. Guess what that gets defaced as. Go on, guess.

Microsoft knew about Xbox 360 disc-scratch problem, employee claims

Smallbrainfield
Gates Halo

Why in god's name would you tilt a console while there's a disk in it?

What are they doing? Feng Shui? I can't say I've ever felt the need to tilt any console I've ever owned, as far back as the Mega Drive, though I may have angled my ZX Spectrum askance during Daley Thompson's Decathalon. Especially not whilst playing anyway.

Microsoft should have thought more deeply about designing their console for morons.

I can't believe I'm using the Saint Bill icon.

Chip boffins hone silicon-brain interface

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

I would love a set of brain chips.

A bit like the neural nanonics described in Peter F Hamilton's Night's Dawn trilogy, please.

Germany tests tadpole airship

Smallbrainfield
Coat

Flying Spermatazoa

Presumably they make a giant condom shaped airship to catch them in.

BBC relives The Day of The Triffids

Smallbrainfield

Well, it's a slap in the face (ha!) with a triffid sting for

the 80s version, which still is awesome. Really scary intro.

Like everyone else, I wish they'd make some other piece of classic Brit SF. Rendezvous with Rama still needs to be filmed.

China slams Guns N' Roses album

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

No rush, eh lads?

They've had about 14 years or so to get wound up about this album's title. I suppose at least if they ban it at least the Chinese will be spared having to listen to it.

Social workers sacked over Gary Glitter email

Smallbrainfield

Humour being what it is, different things to different people...

...it's probably wise not to send stuff like this via e-mail at work. I think sacking is too harsh, but then I don't have the full facts.

More likely someone is following their internet and e-mail policy to the letter. I read mine, which states clearly that sending profane or offensive content in e-mails will result in disciplinary proceedures, which probably means the sack.

Brand new Star Trek prequel pics and trailer

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Well I think it looks awesome.

Every generation has it's own take on Shakespeare so why not Star Trek? The only niggles I have are that it's supposedly a time travel story (i.e. an utter cop-out) designed to shoe-horn Nimoy in,) and young Kirk destroying a Corvette. The rest of it looks like great fun.

MP calls for Jezza Clarkson's head

Smallbrainfield
Stop

It's funny because it's true.

I think the BBC should sack Adrian Chiles because he's a 'bit Birmingham'.

Drunken Brummie hack resigns on YouTube

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Ha ha!

Nice to see journalistic standards being kept high at the Birmingham Mail.

Barack Obama will be president

Smallbrainfield
Heart

"Apart from, that is, the millions of babies killed"

This is some kind of clever comment about abortion, isn't it? Perhaps they'll make them into Soylent Green, if that helps.

I have no illusion that Obama will bring much change for the better; he's inherited an empty treasury in the middle of a financial crisis. Still, change is as good as a rest eh?

I'd go and get a cup of tea to celebrate, but it means wading through all those millions of dead babies again.

Ledger zombie pizza promo pulled

Smallbrainfield

Youtube or it's not real

It sounds a tad insensitive to me.

The True Confessions of an Election Official

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

What an excellent article.

And what a top bloke, too.

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