* Posts by Smallbrainfield

464 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Jun 2007

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Android is a mess and needs sprucing up, admits chief

Smallbrainfield
Meh

Most people will just install or use the apps they like or are most comfortable using.

I have a load of crap added by Orange on my current cheap as chips San Diego. I ignore or disable the useless stuff (Orange Wednesdays is the only Orange app that gets any regular use) and just use the features I like. Surely most people do this?

It's a much more homogeneous experience on iPhones I'm sure, but being tied into Apple's walled garden doesn't appeal.

I still don't know anyone that has a Windows phone, apart from the ones on the adverts (Holly Willoughby and that big lad out of Gavin and Stacy). I'm sure they're fantastic.

Boffins plan to drop €250,000 TEST-TUBE BURGER on London

Smallbrainfield
Go

Well I'll eat it if no-one else will.

A burger prepared by SCIENCE has far greater appeal than one prepared by a spotty youth.

The Metro experiment is dead: Time to unleash Windows Phone+

Smallbrainfield
Coat

Re: Windows Phone+ is a poor name

What, like Zune?

Smallbrainfield
Facepalm

Metro always looked useless to me as a desktop UI.

The advert showing on TV at the moment sums it up, lots of swiping and arm waving in an exciting 'Minority Report'/'CSI' style and some guff about space and birds. The result of all this faffing about?

A high score in a Star Wars themed version of Angry Birds.

The entire advert sells the product as something you can do on your phone with a flick of your finger, instead of more arm waving than Magnus Pyke* at a rave. Let's face it, unsexy office type stuff is what Windows should do best, pretty much everything else they try is dad dancingly embarrassing. Haven't tried a Windows phone, but I'll take your word for it that they're good. Holly Willoughby likes hers at any rate.

*one for our younger readers.

First, the bad news: EA bags Star Wars games rights

Smallbrainfield
FAIL

Re: Battlefield 3/4 - Star Wars ???

FWIW BF3 hasn't been working properly for about 3 days now, constantly booting players out of the game due to EA's fucked up server system. Fucking clueless. Message says they are aware and working on the problem, shit happens.

Adobe kills Creative Suite – all future features online only

Smallbrainfield
WTF?

Re: Corel is where old software goes to die ...

Cobblers. It's decent software, we use it in parallel with CS and it does most of the same jobs just slightly differently.

Smallbrainfield

Re: Somebody PLEASE!!!!

Have a look at Corel Draw. It does pretty much what CS does, not all of it as well, but you don't have to pay monthly and Corel Photopaint comes bundled. It's a sight better than GIMP.

BadNews, fandroids: MILLIONS of Google Play downloads riddled with malware

Smallbrainfield
Coat

Re: They didn't

Ah right. As you were then.

Smallbrainfield
Meh

You have to admire the cheek of them naming their

fake advertising network BadNews.

Who's a Siri boy, then? Apple hoards your voices for TWO years

Smallbrainfield

Re: Siri

You are Barry Kripke and I claim my five pounds.

Hardware hacker unifies 15 retro consoles in format frenzy

Smallbrainfield
Happy

Being picky here, but he could have spent a bit longer on the case design.

It looks like a banana box. That said, it's an epic achievement indeed!

Researcher hacks aircraft controls with Android smartphone

Smallbrainfield
Alert

Re: Pilot can regain controll

If the hacker can control what the cockpit display is showing, how does a pilot know he isn't flying in the wrong direction?

This assumes the pilot knows his aircraft has been hacked. I suppose he could navigate by the sun / stars, but if the hacker was smart he could put the heading out by a few degrees and you'd soon be way off course..

NASA-backed fusion engine could cut Mars trip down to 30 days

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Re: I don't get it

You'd need to put the same energy in at the other end to stop. Perhaps it uses too much energy?

You would be travelling a lot faster but the window for turnaround would be far smaller. Wouldn't want to overshoot as it's a long walk home...

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Would it not make more sense to launch it in parts?

That way there is less risk to the whole project if one part is lost. Or is one launch less risk than three?

Osborne slashes growth forecast by half in bleak economy statement

Smallbrainfield
Pint

Re: Beer, because at 1p off, why not?

On the positive side though, beer!

EA Origin vuln puts players at risk

Smallbrainfield
Facepalm

I only have Origin so I can play Battlefield 3

It's a shitty rip-off of Steam and I wish I didn't need it installed.

It did update last night, I suspect it would be too much to hope this issue has been patched.

Build a BONKERS gaming PC

Smallbrainfield

Re: About to pull the trigger on a gaming PC

I did this with my last machine. They (Computer Planet) did an excellent job with the cabling, (all my builds looked like spaghetti in comparison..) I got the machine I wanted ready to roll out of the box. Definitely going to do the same thing next time.

Smallbrainfield
Facepalm

Re: welcome to th 1990'2

Obvious troll is obvious.

Play BF3 on a PC or BF3 on an X-Box? No contest, PC wins every time*, even with crappy EA Origin doing its best to spoil everything. Better graphics, more players and FPS are much more fun with a mouse and a keyboard.

*I have played both and it's a much better experience on PC

Smallbrainfield
Windows

Articles like this just make me feel sickeningly jealous.

Sadly, life keeps getting in the way of my dream gaming machine.

Ten serious sci-fi films for the sentient fan

Smallbrainfield

Re: Why are the flowers dying, Bruce?

Hmm, I used to think he missed the obvious answer because he'd gone bonkers.

Smallbrainfield

Re: Is Deckard a human or an Android?

I once read a weird article that suggested Deckard's memories are actually Gaff's. He was Gaff's replacement and that Deckard is 'activated' only at the start of the film as Gaff is injured (hence the walking stick).

Smallbrainfield
Pint

Re: Silent Running

Ha ha ha, the unfortunate image of Connery in his thigh high boots and 70s underpants is burned onto many people's retinas.

I can't watch Silent Running any more as Bruce Dern's murderour eco-tool character is such an idiot. Why are the flowers dying, Bruce?

Smallbrainfield
Alien

Have to agree with most of these, though Zardoz does look very daft.

I've never watched it all in one sitting.

Have to agree about Star Trek, it's my favourite Trek film (providing you fast forward through the 'look at the cool spaceship' scenes).

What about 'Moon'? That's a corking modern science fiction film.

Carrie Fisher dusts off THAT bikini for Star Wars VII

Smallbrainfield
Mushroom

It won't matter what she wears or looks like as

there will be lens flare. Lots of lens flare.

It's the Peer 2.0: Martha Lane Fox now a crossbench baroness

Smallbrainfield
Coat

Re: It's not really relevant, but...

You ran into her after her accident?

Poor woman, some people just can't catch a break.

Smallbrainfield

Re: It's a good thing...

MLFILF!

Wouldn't.

North Korean citizens told: Socialist haircuts are a thing... go get some

Smallbrainfield

Re: Old news

Really old news. I remember seeing this on some programme years ago, might even have been one of Clive James programmes in the eighties.

Razzie voters drive stake through Twilight

Smallbrainfield

Re: Meh

I watched this film the other night. It was a big daft film which went well with beer. Rihanna was alright in it, I thought.

Is world's first space tourist Dennis Tito planning a trip to Mars?

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

Re: Definately Possible

Burial at sea, more food for me.

If that isn't a quote, it should be.

Smallbrainfield

Re: NO return missions is what we need to do!

Just what we need, a planet inhabited entirely by politicians and bankers.

Oklahoma cops rake ashes of 'spontaneous combustion' victim

Smallbrainfield

Re: By any chance

Ha ha, best damn car in the yard.

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

I thought this kind of thing had been explained as a 'wick effect'?

i.e. all the fat in a persons body acting like tallow while clothing acts as a wick?

I remember reading 'The Unexplained' when I was a kid and being completely grossed out by the picture of an SHC victim. Just some legs sticking out of a charred pile.

AMD: Star Trek holodecks within reach

Smallbrainfield
WTF?

IIRC, holodecks use a combination of forcefields, holographic projection and replicator technology.

I would suggest we are more than a few decades from achieving at least two of those technologies.

Bioshock Infinite, Devil May Cry, SimCity

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

Re: San Andreas

Ha ha, I've been playing GTA San Andreas on the PS2 recently since my kids took over every other machine in the house. There's still tons of stuff I haven't finished, and I never managed to finish the casino mission as the girlfriend mission is bugged; she's never home!

Nothing more fun than cruising round stealing cars, apart from flying the harrier!

Smallbrainfield

Re: SimCity

I'm guessing you'll have to have the massive sack of shit that is EA's Origin - a Steam clone that was much improved last month when EA managed to break the store for a few days.

That said, I am looking forward to SImCity

El Reg contemplates the ultimate cuppa

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

I like Roiboos tea.

It tastes fucking awful with milk.

Smallbrainfield
WTF?

This sounds suspiciously like trolling.

Are you a merkin? Water should be boiling for Proper Tea.

Smallbrainfield
Thumb Up

PG tips, strong, milk no sugar if you please.

Earl grey, with a bit of milk if I'm feeling posh. No milk if I'm pretending to be a Starfleet captain.

Strong cup of Lapsang Souchong if I want to clear the office.

'Disturbed' Dell investors could tank private buyout

Smallbrainfield

Re: Shock asset stripper thinks his shares should be worth more!

Hmmm, there are still a lot of jobs you can't beat a desktop for. Tablets are alright for salesmen to wave under customers noses, but I reckon we'll still be using mouse and keyboard in offices for some time to come. Somebody has to write up sales reports and type in sales figures.That's where a firm like Dell can still make some money.

Smallbrainfield
Pint

Re: Not exactly.

I think there's a point at which a majority shareholder can take the company off the market. Think that's what happened when the Glazers bought Manchester United. I have no idea what happens to any shares still floating around that don't get bought up. I suppose they might be worth their issue value or something, certainly less than the market price. Anyway, it's nearly beer o'clock!

'Gaia' Lovelock: Wind turbines 'may become like Easter Island statues'

Smallbrainfield

"So Wolfram Alpha tells us than Sizewell B produces as much juice as 5,400 such turbines (and that's before you get into all the other windfarm issues of intermittency etc)."

Reminded me of playing Sim City 2000..

Star Trek saviour JJ Abrams joins the dark side: Star Wars VII

Smallbrainfield
Facepalm

Re: Ughhh

That's exactly the point I was making, you pultroon.

It's clearly bollocks, but there are rules to aforementioned bollocks.

Smallbrainfield
Alien

Re: Ughhh

I didn't mind the first film, though it does not warrant repeat viewings. The plot is a mess, the Enterprise looks slightly crap and transporting to a ship at warp, come on. (Kevin Smith has talked at length about things like this, where a piece of science-nonsense irks the fans). But come on, the ground rules for transporters have been around for years, it's just fucking wrong.

Come to think of it, Spock has Kirk ejected onto a hostile planet for no other reason than he's pissing him off. That's a much bigger WTF moment for me. Why didn't anyone else on the bridge pull him up about this?

'Like most convoluted theories, it was an incorrect one'

Smallbrainfield
WTF?

Re: I call bullshit...

Hardly. They flew a rocket into it to determine from the impact if there was water ice under the surface of the moon at the poles.

I love the way disenfranchised Merkins always manage to shoehorn their grievances about President Obama into practically every thread on every forum on the internet ever. Like the other cunt would have been any better. Do grow up, there's a dear.

Smallbrainfield
Paris Hilton

"Insignificant"

He's paraphrasing Darth Vader, who considered the Death Star insignificant compared to the power of the force.

He was right in a way, as Luke Skywalker used the force to target the vent with missiles which led to the destruction of the Death Star.

British armed forces get first new pistol since World War II

Smallbrainfield

Play a lot of COD, do we?

Bigger isn't always better.

Kill that Java plugin now! New 0-day exploit running wild online

Smallbrainfield

Re: Minecraft

^ This. Both my kids play Minecraft and eldest plays Tekkit.

Chinese spacecraft JUUUUST avoids smashing into Toutatis

Smallbrainfield
Coat

Potato!

The post is required, and must contain letters.

'We are screwed!' Fonts eat a bullet in Microsoft security patch

Smallbrainfield
Stop

Re: The Real Story here...

Cobblers. Corel Draw is a corking bit of kit and Corel Photopaint is extremely useful as well.

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