* Posts by Smallbrainfield

464 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Jun 2007


While Microsoft griped about NSA exploit stockpiles, it stockpiled patches: Friday's WinXP fix was built in February


Re: Plenty of blame to go around

Hunt won't get the sack - he's delivering the exact NHS service the tories want.

By running the NHS into the ground they can point to it and say, look it's shit, but look how shiny this private hospital is. Death by a thousand cuts, literally.

Train your self-driving car AI in Grand Theft Auto V – what could possibly go wrong?


Are they kidding?

The NPC drivers in GTAV drive like easily startled gibbons. They panic at the slightest hint of violence and drive with reckless abandon. Making random lane changes and last minute cornering decisions without any indicators... oh wait.

Star Trek film theory: 50 years, 13 films, odds good, evens bad? Horta puckey!



TMP score hands down for me. It gave us the blaster beam!

Wardrobe trivia, one thing the cast insisted on for WOK was a new uniform. The TMP uniforms were uncomfortable in the extreme, (a mistake repeated for the first few seasons of TNG).



For all it's plodding pace, you can't fault the performances. Nimoy is spot on in this film. The first time Kirk, McCoy and Spock meet, there's a point where he totally blanks McCoy's jibe ("Well it's lucky for you we're heading that way") that makes me laugh every time I watch. Also ("You haven't changed a bit, you're still as warm and sociable as ever." "Nor have you, doctor, as your continued predilection for irrelevancy demonstrates".)

Lots of great moments for Shatner as well, like Kirk getting lost on his own ship, pushing the crew too far and generally being a tool just to get his command back.

Teen tricks leaky Valve into publishing hot new Steam game: Watching Paint Dry


Re: Sure beats...

I read another article (on Kotaku) about this chap today. Apparently he very nearly called his "game" Half Life 3...

Original USS Enterprise model set to boldly go… on display


Re: Don't quote me

It depends. Later versions of warp technology possibly allow the warp field to be manipulated without risk to the crew. There are warp capable shuttles by the time Picard was commanding the Enterprise D, so I guess they got the kinks ironed out.

Perhaps bigger warp fields are harder to manage safely so the nacelles have to be set away from the ship? This would make a kind of fictional-universe sense as it's usually the bigger ships that have nacelles set away from the main hull. Defiant is pretty small compared to a Galaxy class.

(I'm trying to think of a federation ship that breaks this 'rule'. The Nebula class possibly, it has a Galaxy class size saucer section with a Miranda style nacelle layout.)

Probably thinking too hard about this now.

'Printer Ready'. Er… you actually want to print? What, right now?



Prst. V.Jeltz

Our current office printer actually offers to print your document on whatever paper size is currently loaded. On the negative side, it will happily default to whatever is in the manual feed tray, (especially if you happen to have left some very expensive paper in there).

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Re: Office Space


What the fuck does that even mean?

Gold bugs, concrete bog roll holders and frolic-friendly furniture: What IS it with designers?


That graph pad stuff has been around for years.

A couple of us had little sample versions we picked up from a materials trade show when I was at college, (over 25 years ago, bloody hell). It's a great idea. Pretty sure mine got nicked when we switched studios.

Cops turn Download Festival into an ORWELLIAN SPY PARADISE


Re: Eugh

Alternative types are often the most conformist, despite their appearance. Not all are of course, but I suspect most people will waive their right to privacy in this case.

I imagine Glastonbury would face more of a backlash due to it's size and the fact it's sold as being a bit alternative and hippy (despite the fact it isn't any more). Reading and Leeds might go for it, depends on what sort of backlash they got on Tw*tter or F*cebook.

Currently as I type, the tw*tter stream is filled fill starving Download punters as their RFID payment system isn't working. So I guess it's sorted itself out.

Robot Overlords: Tween babysitting fodder with no in-jokes for the adults


Well I for one welcome our robot overlords.

(Can't believe nobody has posted this comment yet. Standards are slipping, commentards).

AUTOPILOT: Musk promises Tesla owners a HANDS-OFF hands-on

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Re: KITT, come quick!

Came here to post a similar comment, was not disappointed to find yours. Here, have a Knight Rider intro.


Can't promise the mechanic will be as nice looking as the one that worked on KITT, sadly.

Grand Theft Auto 1997: 'Sick, deluded and beneath contempt'


Re: I loved the top down GTA Games

Quote: "You're aware that most countries drive on the right hand side of the road rather than the left hand side (UK), right?"

That doesn't make them correct though.



I came here for this comment, I was not disappointed.

Boffins unearth the ultimate antique art - 500,000 years old


If only that Monolith had been more instructive.

This was the only art tutorial.

All the other tutorials were about bludgeoning your rivals with crude bone weapons.

Man asks internet for $1k for pebbles. INTERNET SAYS YES


Very true.

The only reason you might want to add ice cubes is to add water to the drink. Some people consider this the best way to drink whisk(e)y as it improves the taste on the palate.

'CAPTAIN CYBORG': The wild-eyed prof behind 'machines have become human' claims


Re: "he installed a chip in his arm"

It has his name and address on it. It's so the vet can tell who Warwick is when he gets lost.

Move over Microsoft: RealNetworks has a GOOGLE problem


Wow, RealPlayer.

I have to say I'm amazed they are still a going concern considering how horrible RealPlayer was.

Flying Toaster screen savers return on GitHub


Bring back Bill Posters.scr

is all I have to say on the matter.

Scientists discover supervolcano trigger that could herald humanity's doom


It didn't end well in Mega City One when terrorists attacked Power Tower

Be careful what you wish for, citizen.

Sega’s Out Run: Even better than the wheel thing


Re: The Soundtrack...

Ha ha ha, I wondered if anyone would mention this. Used to put it on in my mates car. Sadly it was a Vauxhall Chevette, not a Ferrari.

You gotta fight for your copyright ... Beastie Boys sue toymaker over TV ad



they expressly said a while ago that they didn't want any of their songs used in adverts.

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Ten tech treats from yesteryear


FX570 was a superb calculator

Plus the hex function meant you could spell FAECEE5.

Kids today, etc.

Cut through the winter chill with these Rupert Murdoch tweeting cards


Ed Balls

Ed Balls

IT MELTDOWN ruins Cyber Monday for RBS, Natwest customers


It does make you wonder what sort of hardware our banking network is running on.

I've read some horror stories that suggest some of it is built on very very old hardware indeed.

Staying power: The small screen spans of the eleven Doctor Whos


You could argue that 8 was the longest serving.

Since the time between him and 9 appearing on TV was far longer than any of the others were around.

What a twit: Obama aide FIRED for anonymous gov-bashing tweets


Re: Parody

"Sarah Palin is a hot-looking babe, not white trash at all!"

No. Just no.

Vulture 2 paintjob: Kim Jong-un battles flag-waving Brits


Magenta cock-alike for the win!

Just imagine it throbbing on the launch pad, before thrusting for the sky and finally, flopping back down to earth, it's payload spent.

Snap-happy blogger babe posts catcalling blokes' mugshots online


The only thing I got from this is that parts of Philadelphia

look like bits of northern industrial towns here in the UK. Even down to the terraced streets, which is weird and looks out of place somehow in the good old US of A. Like someone plonked Coronation Street in the Fresh Princes old stomping ground (pre Bel-Air, of course).

I think this project is generally a good idea, especially if it provokes debate and maybe makes someone think twice before they make an unnecessary comment to a lady.

In my day you doffed your hat to a lady and left it at that. If she was interested she dropped a 'kerchief for you to retrieve and you went from there, chaperone permitting of course.

Beyond: Two Souls - the game that thinks it's a Hollywood blockbuster


Whoever devised quick time events

should be made to sit on the stairs for an hour and think about what they've done.

Assange: 'Ecuadorian embassy staff are like my family'


I still think this would make a good sitcom.

For extra creepiness, Ricky Gervais could play Julian Assange, hanging around the office, making paper planes, playing Solitaire and perving over the secretaries.

Boffins spot LONE PLANET roaming interstellar void


It's Marrow.

We just need to get over there and restart the engines then the grand tour of the galaxy can begin.

The Vulture 2: What paintjob should we put on our soaraway spaceplane?


A big magenta cock would look great soaring through the skies.

Remember, 3 pubes per ball.

Reg readers! You've got 100 MILLION QUID - what would you BLOW it on?


A Solid Gold House

and a rocket car.

Phil Collins' daughter 'will give you A VIRUS' – security bods


I wonder if she inherited his hair?

Fortunately she doesn't seem to have inherited his looks.

Phil Collins was once described as permanently looking like he had a stocking pulled over his face.

It's Grand Theft Auto 5 day: Any of you kids remember GTA the First?



The soundtrack to GTA was a thing of beauty. I used to have a copy I played in the car.

Have you tried turning it off and on again - oh, you did: IT Crowd RETURNS


Don't forget Matt Berry


Hey, Bill Gates! We've found 14 IT HOTSHOTS to be the next Steve Ballmer


Re: Gabe Newell

He'll pass. The conditions of his contract stipulate delivery of Half Life 3 before the end of the century.

Four ways the Guardian could have protected Snowden – by THE NSA


>"Given how tiny they are" -- Given that they [MicroSD cards] are made from metal it would be extremely easy to find with one of their metal detector wands. If you hid it in your luggage it would be likely be located within 30 seconds and removed within a minute or two.

If you hid it in or near a metallic part of your luggage, how would they know? The wands are pretty general about where metal is and unless there are clear signs of tampering they're probably going to miss it?

1953: How Quatermass switched Britons from TV royalty to TV sci-fi


The plot of this sounds suspiciously like that of 'Lifeforce'.

I wonder if the makers watched Quatermass and thought, lets make that, only with a naked woman wandering about and vampires.

PEAK SAMSUNG? Shares slide ahead of BEELLLIONS in profit

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Re: Stock Market

'big greasy moose dick.'

I doff my cap to you, sir.

Tickle my balls, stroke my button and blow the fluff from my crack


I have a 7 button mouse for gaming which is probably as many buttons as I'll ever need on a mouse.

Never really enjoyed using Apple mice though, always found them a bit uncomfortable and the one button restrictive. (Almost like they were trying to prove a point). Which is weird 'cos if you plugged in a 3 button MS mouse you could use the other buttons just like you can on a PC (or you could, it's a few years since I tried).

I believe newer Apple mice have other options like some sort of side grips to access other functions?

Gourmet chemists sniff out ultimate cheese on toast


You dodged the issue of where you're from nicely there..

You can get real meat kebabs in the UK, used to go to a place in Sheffield that did amazing lamb kebabs with big chunks of lamb, mmmmmm.

Sounds like most of your English eating experiences have been post-pub. When your hangover subsides, have a look round and there are some fabulous eating places in GB.


Re: When I'm feeling frisky, I like to add pepperoni under the cheese for that budget pizza taste.

I don't know whether to be happy or not, why are you crying?


When I'm feeling frisky, I like to add pepperoni under the cheese for that budget pizza taste.

For the Hestons amongst you, before adding the cheese, spread a layer of pesto on the toast, then add the cheese and some Worcestershire sauce. Works well with a good mature cheddar or tasty Lancashire cheese (not too hard or it doesn't melt properly).

I love cheese on toast.

Internet pioneer Vint Cerf predicts the future, fears Word-DOCALYPSE

Paris Hilton

Ha ha, this remnds me. I have

a drawing database that started life in Paradox, moved on to MS Access and currently resides in MS Excel. Twenty two years that database has been alive in one form or another. It's older than my kids.

Paris, cos her most famous work has probably been converted into dozens of different formats, ensuring her place in cinematic history.

Shorteurs rejoice as Vine comes to Android


Doesn't work on my phone.

When I try to capture video it just hangs then goes back to the menu scren. It isn't working at all for others, if Play store comments are anything to go by.

Former Microsoft Windows chief: I was right to kill the Start button


It makes no sense to this user to upset your core...

... business with something that only really satisfies one form factor.

That form factor being the one the majority of your users are not working with.

Is the next-gen console war already One?


Late result.

Playstation 4 = X-Box 1

Adobe's Creative Cloud fails at being a cloud


Re: Not quite so...

Psssst. Sick of Adobe? Give Corel Draw a punt, you can even try it out for free for 30 days IIRC.

Mentioned it on the forums last time this brouhaha reared its head. Does what Photoshop and Illustrator does, only cheaper.

Its major advantage over the GIMP is that it is not GIMP (i.e. the UI makes some kind of sense).