* Posts by bpfh

863 posts • joined 26 Jan 2011

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Scientist shares spicy pic of 'James Webb' discovery

bpfh Silver badge
Joke

Chorizo

That scientist made a vain attempt in hamming it up, I don’t think he expected the Twitterverse to pig out and turn it into a saussage party.

Sage accused of misselling perpetual licenses it knew would soon be obsolete

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Re: Asked whether customers would lose access to their data

Ah... Sage. Yep, propriatary licences, export to nothing useful, and in the end could not even get it to generate my basic accounts.... so rebuilt everything in Excel, and ran on that for 4+ years. 10 years later, I pulled the templates out of the mothballs, and now Excel is managing my wife's billing... and accounts!

Homes in London under threat as datacenters pull in all the power

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And so maybe Amazon …

Will move into power generation, making their barns self sufficient and cutting out the middle man?

China's 7nm chip surprise reveals more than Beijing might like

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Re: Ours

ASML has entered the chat laughing in Dutch…

BOFH: Selling the boss on a crypto startup

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Joke

Gaaaah “US English”

There is just English. And American.

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Trollface

Just remember…

When management get in on at the ground floor, there are 2… or maybe 3… floors below that. Especially when the operators run the lift control server. After all, the IT gods are unhappy, and random crashes and machinery failures do happen…

NYC issues super upbeat PSA for surviving the nuclear apocalypse

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I think they did in the 60’s

Duck and cover, (and the UK’s later and amusing “protect and survive” videos with it’s horrible jingle from the early 80’s…), people sort of believed that nuclear war could come at any point. My generation and later sort of forgot that this could ever happen outside of North Korea flexing its muscles, the superpowers were smarter than that….

Today, that’s sort of not so much the case, but it doesn’t really affect the current TikTok generation who have not seen Threads (neither have I actually, but I have read the overview), The War Game or even Dr. Strangelove….

Oh and going off on a tangent about films, “When the wind blows”, which sort of defined “fallout” as losing your hair and protecting yourself with a couple of lean-to doors in your living room…

bpfh Silver badge

Re: Why stay on the mainland?

Diesel can grow algae in it too…

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Mushroom

Re: I'm all upside down

I’m not sure anyone *has* a bomb that big apart from plans in a vault. Castle Bravo needed a ship, Tsar Bomba was touch and go (and may not even have taken off if it had its IIRC uranium damper that should have doubled it’s power.

Today seems that the plan is to shotgun the joint with “little” nukes.

Little being a misnomer as 120 kt does not sound bad…. But just to visualise that using WWII 50lb / 22 kg crates of TNT, 120 000 tons of explosive with a back of the iPhone calculation, would totally cover the full surface of a standard FIFA football (soccer) pitch with crates, to hight of about 30 metres / 90 feet…

But that power is in something the size of a large oil barrel. Now go set off 2000 of my pitches above. This does somewhat scare the crap out of me, as that is a litteral crap ton of sunny booms… survivable, probably, over in 2 hours? Probably yes to that too. What would be left standing…… no idea.

bpfh Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Back when

(which we would never do))

Again?

It didn’t work for the British Empire, it didn’t work for the Soviets, and didn’t work for the US and it’s coalition…. Let someone else go first for the fourth try…

bpfh Silver badge

Re: Standard Operating Procedure upon Encountering a Nuclear Attack at Close Range

“We’ll all go together when we go…”

“Remember, Mommy,

I'm off to get a Commie,

So send me a salami,

And try to smile somehow.

I'll look for you when the war is over --- An hour and a half from now”

This credit card-sized PC board can use an Intel Core i7

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As a raspberry pi alternative…

I’m interested. But I’m guessing that we are not in the same price universe.

Russia fines Apple and Zoom for failure to prove domestic data storage

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WTF?

Windows 1x data slurp?

Is MS going to get fined too? Does slurp turn off if I set my locale to Moscow? Asking for a friend…

bpfh Silver badge

Re: Apple ought to

Full wipe would be malicious intent, even though it would be a hell of a way to go out with a bang.

More like: you have 30 days to (find a way to) back up your iCloud storage locally before it goes away for good. Tough titties if you don’t have the know how to do this. Complaints? Please direct them to the ministry of justice.

Or they could set up an iCloud zone in a Russian DC. Good luck doing that with the current sanctions in place though…

Systemd supremo Lennart Poettering leaves Red Hat for Microsoft

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Trollface

Why hire him?

When windows has had a daemon ressource hog since Windows 2000 called svchost.exe?

BOFH: Would I lie to you, Boss?

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Re: I’m guessing that if…

The more you know!

Time to switch out the tonic for Schweppes citrus :)

bpfh Silver badge

Re: Missed opportunity

The overcharged cattle prod, grepping your maildir and “anonymous” purity tests spring to mind…

bpfh Silver badge
Headmaster

I’m guessing that if…

“Barley sugar” is the same sort of stuff as “bath salts”, not only will the workplace accident theory have an explanation, you will also have a new boss after the drug test…

Mental note: don’t eat the poppy seed cake that was left on your desk every day for the last 3 months. Does not contain opium, but the tests can’t always tell the difference…

Digital burglary at recruitment agency Morgan Hunt confirmed

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So less Morgan…

… and more Berkshire?

The perfect crime – undone by the perfect email backups

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Re: "Delete" = "Hide"

It removed the first letter of the filename didn't it? I remember undelete returning a list of files and having to select the first name of each one!

BOFH: HR's gold mine gambit – they get the gold and we get the shaft

bpfh Silver badge

Re: ah, the HR other shoe scenario

I think "trippy" can have several connotations too. Especially when the stairway door is open and the fire ax is missing from its "break in case of emergency" box...

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Re: Favourite CPU socket?

The follow on socket A wasn't too bad, taking a whole slew of AMD processors from 650mhz to 1.7 gig. I must have ran 3 cpu upgrades on the same box when I was young and thin, without having to think about dumping the lot and rebuilding a whole new system...

bpfh Silver badge

Along with...

The presence of absence of carpet and the quantity of quicklime...

bpfh Silver badge

Re: Brilliant...

That can still happen. When one comes down on him after falling down the empty shaft...

Unbelievably clever: Redbean 2 – a single-file web server that runs on six OSes

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Headmaster

So...

Have they just reinvented electronjs and reinstating network connectivity?

Always read the comments: Beijing requires oversight of all reader-generated chat

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Trollface

Outsourcing opportunity?

So when big social media companies complain that they cannot moderate content.... now they can?

BOFH: Tech helps HR investigate the Boss's devices

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Re: Inspirational!

HR: Human Remains

Although not much remains left once wrapped in a cheap carpet and buried with 50 kg of quicklime in a Scottish forest... not that anyone could prove it...

GitHub drops Atom bomb: Open-source text editor mothballed by end of year

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VSCode is great but...

Things like copying code without bringing the dark mode formatting with it and pasting just .... code, I still rely on Atom for that (on Mac due to the lack of notepad++...).

Hope someone can fork it, it's a decent (if bloated - thanks electronjs) editor!

Taiwan bans exports of chips faster than 25MHz to Russia, Belarus

bpfh Silver badge
Trollface

Not sure about Doom

That was rough on a 33mhz, and acceptable on a 40. Maybe Castle Wolfenstein 3D? That worked well on a 286. Putin would like that, given his obsessions with Nazis

The next time your program is 'not responding,' (do not) try these steps

bpfh Silver badge
Headmaster

Fiddler or Wireshark...

I would guess that your app is calling back to the mothership to check if you are up to date on your subscription.

Find that domain and send it to 127.0.0.1 in your hosts file which should cause that lookup to fail and all will be good - up until the cached "offline" mode requests and requires a connection to recheck your status, and you don't remember wtf you did and end up reinstalling windows after 4 hours of troubleshooting!

California Right-to-Repair bill quietly killed in committee

bpfh Silver badge

It's not just changing components on a board

It's having that complete board available. Or batteries. Or not blocking parts like batteries if they did not come from the mothership because they are device locked. Or not requiring a full factory diagnostic when you replace a faulty throttle position sensor on a certain brand of tractor that any car owner can and have done with the correct Haynes manual for the past 20 years...

BOFH: Where do you think you are going with that toner cartridge?

bpfh Silver badge

Re: Hmmmm

I think his van had the shattered windscreen of death...

Vehicle owner data exposed in GM credential-stuffing attack

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Devil

Re: Although passwords are poorly managed...

All depends on what you are protecting... finger print or iris scans are great but can be defeated with a sufficiently motivated attacker with EMT shears or a warm spoon...

bpfh Silver badge

Re: GM online account

They stole that from Lotus: Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Original killer PC spreadsheet Lotus 1-2-3 now runs on Linux natively

bpfh Silver badge
Trollface

An alternative

As MS still CBA to port anything office here...

Export bans prompt Russia to use Chinese x86 CPU replacement

bpfh Silver badge

Re: Yablochka redux?

So back to Pentium MMX levels. Be fun running cracked copies of Office 2020 on those...

Arm CPU ran on electricity generated by algae for over six months

bpfh Silver badge
Joke

More aluminium?

Just toss some more cans empty cans of Stella into the pond. Job done!

We can bend the laws of physics for your super-yacht, but we can't break them

bpfh Silver badge

Re: Pull the udder one

Goat meat is lovely. Baaaa....becue.

On the subject of goats and airplanes, a friend of my father was working in Saudi Araba and for some reason, the way back home involved several connecting flights, one going through Kabul (in the early 80's).

Getting in the 747, he was escorted upstairs, but had a strange smell of kerosene that would never go away.

After talking to the air hostess who said not to worry about they strong smell (to a senior technical sales engineer who sold firefighting products and worked alongside multiple fire departments - specialising in airport and aircraft fires across the world), he went downstairs, strolled back to economy class, and found passengers brewing up tea on primus stoves using pressurised kerosene, and a couple of goats were on board. He vacated the plane with the quickness and got a different flight on BA.

Elon Musk puts Twitter deal on hold over bot numbers claim

bpfh Silver badge

Geoip and profile country matching for a start.

an issue I had when managing a dating site: if your profile says for example you are Jane Doe from Scunthorpe looking to meet locals from your area but your signup address says you are from an ISP in Ivory Coast, India or Vietnam, then you go onto the naughty list and have some explaining to do. If the explanation is valid then fine, you valid user check mark, otherwise you may sign up but nobody will see your posts or something.

It's not perfect and can be vpn'd around, and there may be legit reasons for this sort of connection, but is a big red flag especially for non-professional accounts.

Starlink's Portability mode lets you take your sat broadband dish anywhere*

bpfh Silver badge

Re: Yup, that idea may have serious problems in Europe.

And then it just won't be applicable to Europe. Or outside of your home country. Which sucks if you are in one of the smaller states of the union...

bpfh Silver badge
Flame

Re: That's a new one

They won't. Trust me.

Pass me those two green fire extinguishers that we found in the basement. We may have a "fire" in the think tank. Yes the one with the sticky door. I blame the airtight seal. Halon - I mean the random contents of those old green extinguishers is heavier than air and can be squirted through a gap in the ceiling tiles...

bpfh Silver badge
Devil

That's a new one.

I claim my god given right to spend 2 minutes with the inventor of *that* phrase in a think tank and an overcharged cattle prod..

bpfh Silver badge
Joke

Shirley you mean...

They socialised the question?

I'll need to update our bullshit bingo cards for our next all-hands meeting...

US Cyber Command shored up nine nations' defenses last year

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Joke

Re: Spies

Well at least the Old World rebalanced the Shah of Iran with British and French assistance, allowing the Ayatollah Khomeni to go home, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Oh wait...

Samsung unveils hardened SD card that can last 16 years if you treat it right

bpfh Silver badge

Re: Hmmm

At 300 gb per minute, I'm surprised that the on board hardware is able to keep up as that filling the card in less than 6 seconds!

bpfh Silver badge

Re: "can sustain 16 years of continual writes."

That does not mean one backup in 16 years, mmkay?

Crooks steal NFTs worth '$3m' in Bored Ape Yacht Club heist

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Paris Hilton

Re: Why the hate ?

Nobody really eats snails for the snails. And since I've found the garlic butter stuffing they use, I just buy that and forget the gastropods.

bpfh Silver badge

Re: Why the hate ?

This actually rings a bell... but the only evidence of a "token" for Paris transports Ive found was a commemorative token coin made by the French Mint for a Châtelet Les Halles station in 1977, and certainly not in the last 25 years where it's all been paper tickets and slowly moving contactless...

i wonder if some of the editors of the textbooks ever even visited France !

SpaceX's Starlink service lands first aviation customer

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Alien

Re: Put that laptop away

They don't want any extra signals being picked up by the aliens that could be roaming around up near the Bermuda Triangle...

Not to dis your diskette, but there are some unexpected sector holes

bpfh Silver badge

Re: You were lucky

Period correct :) "I love to turn you on" was that time's "start me up" I guess?

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