* Posts by bpfh

660 posts • joined 26 Jan 2011


Not the Wright stuff: Bitcoin 'inventor' loses bid to sue YouTuber who called him a liar

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Re: Judges names

A video of him smashing his gavel and declaring "I AM THE LAW" would be an instant viral hit...

80-characters-per-line limits should be terminal, says Linux kernel chief Linus Torvalds

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Re: not the terminal, the punch card

If my BSE addled brain serves me correctly, this was why most of the old basic interpreters started at line 10 and next line was 20. Nothing stopped you inserting 1 or 2, or 11 or 12, it was just to allow you to add to the code later keeping the tens as a staticish reference to the original lines.

All gone out the window with spaghetti coding, web development and code and content mixed wordpress themes...

It's not yet 11 AM. Can I have my pint now please?

Dude, where's my laser?

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Re: "Of course, in the '70s, active correction of the beam was not an option."

And hold it sideways

Document? Library? A new kind of component? Microsoft had a hard time explaining what its Fluid Framework is

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JS was derived from Java?

Maybe vaguely inspired Java by when Netscape collaborated with Sun in the mid nineties, but not derived from it?

Microsoft drops a little surprise thank-you gift for sitting through Build: The source for GW-BASIC

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Still waiting for them to open source VB6...

Maybe in 15 years...

Microsoft announces official Windows package manager. 'Not a package manager' users snap back

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A long long time ago...

In a job far away... I remember packaging up standard installers into the Windows 2000 beta for remote deployment / scripted install for part of the Windows 2K Micros~1 Administrator certification. That was 21 years ago. Are MS reinventing the wheel? Again?

The Register calls for aid, and Microsoft's Rohan Kumar will answer... our questions about SQL Edge and Azure Synapse

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Surely you mean...


What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

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My 0.02p

Forever mothballed: In memoriam Apple Butterfly Keyboard (2015-2020)

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Re: You lucky ...

I raise you a mid 2010 MacBook Pro.

In its defence, from 2011 through to 2017, it was hardly used....

Square peg of modem won't fit into round hole of PC? I saw to it, bloke tells horrified mate

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Reminds me of an old story....

I believe it was with a Compaq box. Guy wanted to plat Quake I believe but the integrated cirrus logic graphic circuit did not cut the mustard. A PCI graphics card was purchased but would not run the screen. A lot of back and fourth between Compaq and the IT store asking to update drivers before it was discovered that it was impossible to add an external graphics card - the integrated graphics circuit was the one and only and would make the system ignore any cards.

After several calls to Compaq the guy came back in the store and asked if they had any updated drivers. Sales guy said it would not work, and the customer replied that the card was working fine. Someone mentioned Cirrus Logic on the Compaq hotline, and the client took a set of snips to the mobo, cutting out any chips stamped Cirrus Logic, and Lo, external card ran perfectly - to the horror of the store owners - and the Compaq field techs it was related to....

Resistance is futile: Some Cisco security appliances are ticking time bombs of fail thanks to faulty resistors

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Re: BS .....It's AVR 54 again....

Possible - seen someone playing with resistors to fix the issue...


SE's baaaack: Apple flings out iPhone SE 2020, priced at £419

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Re: Way too muct

Same comment. I’m annoyed. At 149, I’d equip the family...

OK brainiacs, we've got an IT cold case for you: Fatal disk errors on an Amiga 4000 with 600MB external SCSI unless the clock app is... just so

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Re: A clock up what?

No you did not mis-read. It had to be a certain size in a certain position. So It’s not the size of the clock that’s important. It’s what you do with it...

Linux fans thrown a bone in one Windows 10 build while Peppa Pig may fly if another is ready in time for this year

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Re: Windows

You already had it. It was called Windows NT 3.51.

Now If only there was some modern hardware support including USB, sound, video and DirectX...

Neo4j has this great IDE-a: How about we stuff all our graph workspace, database, algorithms and visualisation wizardry in one place?

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An MS-Access for the modern age?

See title.

Borky shark: A deserted airport and a Raspberry Pi feeling poorly at baggage claim. Welcome to 2020

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Re: I blame the military

Certainly coming from a Bad Sector, as they keep reading my private files. At least my computer tells me General Failure Reading Disk.

Watching you, with a Vue to a Kill: Wikimedia developers dismiss React for JavaScript makeover despite complaints

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Re: Front-end development is a complete mess

Tabs vs spaces, the continuing flamewar.

I still get roasted by colleagues due to me using tabs rather than spaces, but when editing in vim, I still claim that tab tab tab is superior to space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space, but in the end, everyone to their own.


Your data was 'taken without permission', customers told, after personal info accessed in O2 UK partner's database

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Re: "partners"

Probably works when they have to manage custom & special setups that go beyond a mobile phone or a WiFi hotspot, like systems requiring 4G Cisco routers and embedded stuff, along with the corresponding vpn support that goes beyond what any customer facing telco team are able to talk about?

You've duked it out with OS/2 – but how to deal with these troublesome users? Nukem

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Re: Timing is off..

Was still cloning office PC’s for IBM internal use in 1999 using Warp....

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Alt+255 as a directory name

Adding a null character as a directory name or in part of a file would through quite a few people but the GUI took the fun out of it

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Why reinstall Win3.1?

When Warp came with a far more stable version of Win3.1 compared to the standard DOS version?

Want to own a bit of Concorde? Got £750k burning a hole in your pocket? We have just the thing

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Re: So close, yet so out of reach...

I’ve seen a couple in museums over the years, one in Somerset, 2 in Le Bourget and the Air France gate guardian at CDG airport, but I was also lucky enough in 1999 to be working for a pharmaceutical supplier based on the Châteauroux airport complex and Concorde flew down to the maintenance centre there, and we got a free tour airside, with just some steel fencing around the landing gear. The noise the next morning when it blasted off the runway was bloody epic - even from inside the office buildings. We got used to hearing wide bodies come and go, but someone turned the volume up to 11 when that bird went. As I was inside I have to rate that one as a close second to the sound of the Vulcan and Typhoon displays over Herne Bay a couple of years ago.

BOFH: Here he comes, all wide-eyed with the boundless optimism of youth. He is me, 30 years ago... what to do?

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Brings back memories of the BOFH looking for a new PFY

- Take this metal pen and put it in the power socket

- Isn’t that dangerous?

- Would I ask you to do it if it was dangerous?

- Oh. < bzzzzzzzert >

- Of course I would

Firefox now defaults to DNS-over-HTTPS for US netizens and some are dischuffed about this

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Re: Thank goodness we can turn it off...

Except most. browsers have a multipurpose search & address bar and have done for years and it will second guess you, unless you add a protocol such as http://n1a, then generally it will realise that you want to go to that host and not look it up in $SEARCH_ENGINE.

I will admit, mixing the search and address bars is a great boon to the general public, but I've mostly found it to be a pain :( Oh, and get off my lawn!

Yo, Imma let you finish, but for the 6,000 people still using that app on a daily basis ... we have a question: why?

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There is a market for this!

In Teams, Slack and Outlook....

Haunted by Europe's GDPR, ICANN sharpens wooden stake to finally slay the Whois vampire

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Whois, lookup...

The ICANN still has a lookup directory hosted on their own site...

Ever had a script you just can't scratch? Excel on the web now has just the thing

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Re: ODS Compatibility?

Stopping the desktop version completely is probably the only way they can kill VB6^M^M^M VBA.

Tech can endure the most inhospitable environments: Space, underwater, down t'pit... even hairdressers

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Re: In 1998...

Ah yes. The reference diskette. Lose it and be doomed :)

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In 1998...

Our campus still had some 386 based IBM PS/2’s hands up who remembers the MCA bus? hanging around in some dark corners, one of which was the badge logging and timing software used by our access systems, and the PSU went TITSUP*. I pulled the short straw to get a taxi order to shuttle a “new” PSU from our parts warehouse to site and had to swap the part.

The change itself went fine, almost plug and play on the 20kg behemoth of a tower.... but every one of these beasts always had a resident spider. This one had a big bugger walking around in is warm and fluffy home.

Standard operating procedure was from there to disconnect the tower, try and manhandle the beast outside, using a fork lift if needed, crack open the case and give it a few bashes and return the resident wildlife to nature. I only ever found spiders, but mice got in a few that my colleagues had encountered - god knows how.

If you were lucky and had one of the power dusters, take it out to the service parking lot and let loose. The resulting mushroom cloud of dust looked like someone had touched off a small yield nuke...

*Totally Unable To Supply Usual Power

Former Autonomy boss Mike Lynch 'submits himself' for arrest in central London

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Re: Again, and again, and again...

No due dilligence was needed. The auditors just needed to believe in Brexit.

Which I guess means that auditors don’t really serve any purpose?

Colombia accused of rigging .co contract for dot-org provider Afilias – is this document a smoking gun?

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Re: Of course you haven't

^ This. They met in public and hoped that hiding in plain sight would be enough?

The show Musk go on: Elon asks Uncle Sam to let him fly his Starship over Texas, scores fat NASA contract

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can he get permission for LOHAN?

What actually happened to her after the Spaceport America jaunt fell apart? Has she at least become a gate guardian at Vulture HQ?

Remember those infosec fellas who were cuffed while testing the physical security of a courthouse? The burglary charges have been dropped

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Re: State is not county

Why were these people in the wrong? If all the legal paperwork, signed off by what appears to be the state’s own legal mandarin seemed legit, then if laws were broken, why did the sheriff only go after the testers and ignored the rest of the chain of command that got to that point?

From the article, only the testers got time in the big house, not the DA’s office or the states judiciary who could be considered the brains - and the money - behind this conspiracy?

Brits may still be struck by Lightning, but EU lawmakers vote for bloc-wide common charging rules

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Re: "Mobile device"

That would fall afoul if laws obliging you to provide 2 years legal guarantee when legally sold as a homologated device that respects all the weird symbols under the battery or in the user manual. And if they refused, there are not too many operators around to lean on and tell them to boot non compliant devices odd their mobile network...

What they would do is supply the phone with whatever connecter they wanted, and a small converter, like Apple does with a lightening to 3.5 trrc jack - which I promptly lost for my jesusphone...

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The infamous Nokia pop-port

A dozen connectors on the plug for charging and connector your 1 earpiece hands free - but not at the same time, but also you could be lucky because a Nokia could also charge both through the pop port and through a 2.5 mm barrel jack. At least on my 3330.

Star wreck: There's a 1 in 20 chance a NASA telescope and US military satellite will smash into each other today

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Re: Recycling

Orbiting waste collection is not as easy as it sounds. Years of Star (Wars|Trek) have a shuttle rendez-vousing with some other craft, pull up along side, board, and have shootouts, but with magical fuel tanks that never need topping up - except when you are being chased by the bad guys - it's a lot easier.

Given that fuel is a big problem given how much fuel it takes to put fuel up in space, having to speed up and down, change orbits, chase something down, catch up, slow down to match it's speed, then either slow it down enough for it to fall back, or speed it up to get it to fly somewhere else far far away then rince & repeat for the next piece of junk, all keeping your own attitude stable as every action has an equal and opposite reaction and the like: kick something down, you will also be kicking your craft up, etc: it's definitely non trivial. Just going out on a spacewalk with a net, and giving whatever a small punt in the direction of the earth is not going to be enough, and all this takes a long time.


No big deal, Rogers, your internal source code and keys are only on the open web. Don't hurry to take it down

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Re: Do you have a scalable way of doing that across a a server farm?

Thank you! I have some reading to do!

bpfh Silver badge

Do you have a scalable way of doing that across a a server farm?

Honest question: If you have a way of doing that automatically across multiple servers and services, I'm interested.

Beware the Friday afternoon 'Could you just..?' from the muppet who wants to come between you and your beer

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Re: „I use Macintosh“

That German “99-66” quote does throw me, but I still have existential problems with the french « quotation marks »...

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This is rare and such events are few and far between

In the early 00’s, going above any beyond in helping remotely some Dutch colleagues in getting their network up for a large parcel delivery firm, come Christmas, I got a parcel delivered to home with 18 different bottles of Dutch beer, and about 4 years ago, doing the same for , funnily enough a Dutch sales director in my current company and at Christmas, a box arrived with a bottle of Jenever - think Dutch begin - arrived in my name at the office.

Moral of the story: you need to keep the Dutch contingent happy!

Sometimes shining a light on a nuclear problem just makes things worse

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Re: Mice too

For wired rodents, a piece of post-it note strategically placed over the centre pins of the usb plug before carefully plugging it back in the back into the computer, isolating the 2 centre data connectors, but not the power lines on the left and right of the plug. Mouse lights up (if it’s a LED and not an IR laser), but no movement data is sent. That generally takes someone a few more minutes especially when they turn the mouse upside down, no post it and a shining red light saying all is well...

BOFH: You brought nothing to the party but a six-pack of regret

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Re: Just the morale boost I needed

I think he was employed as a speed bump. Once...

We’ve had enough of your beach-blocking shenanigans, California tells stubborn Sun co-founder: Kiss our lawsuit

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Big Brother

Re: Godwin

Looks like we now have 0laf’s rule of Communist analogies.

Icon: Stalin had a similar power ‘stache.

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Airbus A350 software bug forces airlines to turn planes off and on every 149 hours

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Re: Why is there a choice?

So they bricked the little Fokker?

No horrific butterfly keys on this keyboard, just you and your big, dumb fingers

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Re: Not enough room

Digitiser pens won’t work. Either calligraphy level slow or an indecipherable mass like my local doc who refuses to write scripts other than by hand and the pharmacy has to call her up for a verbal explanation of what the squiggles mean... No AI could deal with that...

A Notepad nightmare leaves sysadmin with something totally unprintable

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This is why hex editors were made

So you can edit the msdos core files and replace “starting ms-dos...” by “sod off c***.......” or other such niceties as long as the string was the same length you could customise your victim’s machines as much as you like.... Aah, the fun days before executable signing...

Two missing digits? How about two missing employees in today's story of Y2K

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Re: There's notthing so enjoyable as rightful smugness

X being an unknown quantity and a spurt is a drip?

BOFH: The case of the Boss's hidden USB inkjet printer

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Ahhhh finally!

A good old kzzzzert!

Been missing that. Please sir, more please!

El Reg presents: Your one-step guide on where not to store electronic mail

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Re: Deleted

Pavlovian response: can you hook up some sort of vba macro that sends 2000 volts up the mouse whenever anyone clicks on the “Trash” folder. Though my users would just start wearing rubber gloves rather than attempt to understand the reason why that folder is off limits...



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