Posts by jake

Your mates vape. Your boss quit smoking. You promised to quit in 2019. But how will Big Tobacco give it up?

Re: Look out

"Yes, its absolutely logical, if I'm going to have a head-on collision, I'll hit a Ford Taurus instead of a Kenworth W990."

Are you trying to pretend that you smoke unintentionally?

Re: Look out

"Because you have actual (and wanabe) Nazis again?"

And how's your National Front doing, then?

Re: Look out

Getting into a head-on with an automobile is safer than getting into a head-on with an 18 wheeler. Does that make it logical to get into a head-on with an automobile?

Re: Dunghill

Three years after I quit smoking, I found a long forgotten carton of smokes buried at the bottom of my deep-freeze[0]. I tossed 'em into the trash ... where a friend found them. He was short on funds that month, and asked if he could have them. I nodded, and he took them home. The next day, he looked vaguely green around the gills ... but he finished the carton before the month was out and asked if I had anymore. Ain't addiction ugly?

[0] Wrapped in four layers of Saran and two layers of foil. Addicts do the oddest things.

Racing at the speed of light, Sage superhero bursts through the door...

Re: Worst one I've heard of

"why attend a briefing if you are not going commando?"

It's a belt & suspenders (braces to you brits) thing.

This reply brought to you by the DoRD.

Re: Not me...

Yes, I did. The way I see it, if I can get a chuckle out of somebody by repeating myself occasionally (when on-topic), then no harm, no foul.

Edit: Besides, I don't presume that anybody other than a couple of my most ardent fanbois has read even a tenth of my drivel ... and of course there are many folks who have joined this august forum since I last posted it. For varying values of "it".

Re: Worst one I've heard of

It's a good thing he had his briefs ... going commando in that situation might lead to issues more worrying than an itch ;-)

Re: ... and the other extreme

I've done the "visit banker after cleaning the hog pens" thing. I completely lost track of the time[0], until SWMBO reminded me. Fortunately she (the banker) grew up in a barn and can look past my peculiarities :-)

Another example: The last 9-5 I interviewed for (in 1989), I was wearing my racing leathers. When the interviewer queried my choice of "uniform", I pointed out that he had asked me to drive up from Palo Alto to South San Francisco by 10AM ... and had called at 9AM. I knew I could make it on the bike, but there was no way I was driving the Bayshore without armor ... I got the job.

The 9-5 prior to that, I wore the same outfit, for similar reasons. When queried, I responded along the lines of "are you hiring an engineer or a fashion plate?" ... They made me an offer. I counter offered, they hired me at my price point.

[0] Time flies when you're having ... uh ... fun?

Re: Not me...

Once in the rain I stopped and helped a lady with a flat tire. After waving her on her way, I put my jack & lug wrench away, and carried on to my destination, somewhat dirtier & soggier than I wanted to be. When I arrived I apologized for my appearance, told the gal at the front desk that I was there to talk to the Boss about bidding on a network upgrade. The secretary spoke into the phone, and the Boss came out to meet me. He allowed as to how most folks bidding on lucrative contracts at least took a little care with their grooming, and told me to fuck off. In those words. As I was leaving, his wife walked out of the office. It was the lady I had helped. Later that afternoon, I got an apologetic call from the guy, offering me the job. I told him to fuck off and hung up the phone.

Staff sacked after security sees 'suspect surfer' script of shame

Re: @AC "wouldn't be common freakin' sense to not surf dodgy websites at work?"

No, Nick, we had real pornographic computer images in the late 1970s. Not very good images, mind, but they existed. It was crude technology, but it worked. How crude? Look up CROMEMCO's Cyclops and Dazzler (1975). Things rapidly improved from there (how could they not?), and by the mid 1980s .tga made it's appearance ... As did SGI. And trust me, as soon as bit-mapped displays showed up, there was porn on them. It would seem to be human nature.

The Great Renaming (1987) was arguably brought about partially because of the binaries that were being posted at random all over USENET. As a guy who ran a news farm back then, I can assure you that most of said binaries had been porn since roughly late 1982.

Data heavy? Does SLAC count? How about Bigger Blue? We could see a spike in traffic when someone was eyeballing porn, even in the old days. Maybe especially in the old days, when practically every byte of connectivity had to be accounted for.

Re: Access Denied

"which proudly advertised that its website contained the largest collection of online porn in Europe!"

They claimed "in the world!" until I pointed out an unnamed, dotted quad accessible anonymous FTP site located in Berkeley IP space that was basically a USENET binaries archive.

Odd.

I've rarely seen a company that wouldn't get along just fine with 40 to 60% of middle management shown the door.

Re: The mistake was to use them for blackmailing intead of simply blocking the domains

"using the expensive Haas CNC to machine something pornographic/offensive."

I know folks who would consider such a CNC pornography all by itself. Shit, people drool over my aging Bridgeport ...

Re: @_LC_ What a cunt!

"Sorry, but if you were dumb enough to surf for porn on company time and equipment, you deserved it."

Correct. You're supposed to be working at work, not wanking. Frankly, I'm really surprised that all the commentardary here on ElReg grinds to a halt over the weekend ... until London wakes up again on Monday morning, which makes me suspect most of you are posting from work! Do all y'all's bosses know how much company time you fritter away here on ElReg?

"For the rest of us... there was USENET."

Still is. But you'll cause a spike in traffic anyway. And I'll fire your ass if you try it on my watch.

Re: @AC "wouldn't be common freakin' sense to not surf dodgy websites at work?"

As early as the early 1980s, Internet bandwidth getting maxed out always meant porn. Back then it was bunnies on USENET and open FTP servers. Prior to that, Fidonet and other BBSes had the same problem. Indeed, a case could be made that it was porn, and not gaming or gambling, that drove connectivity.

I know for an absolute fact that EVERY male college student's computer that I've worked on over the last 35 years or so has contained traces of porn. The coeds didn't start picking up on Internet porn in college until around a 20 years ago ... and now, they are equal to the boys.

In business, over the last quarter century or so, probably 80% (or thereabouts) of all male middle management PCs contain traces of Internet porn (in my experience). The ladies started surfing porn around 15 years ago, and are now (roughly) equal to the men. Obviously, those stats are in companies without cluefull network administration.

Not trying to justify it, nor vilify it, and likewise not drawing conclusions, just stating my observations. Do with them what you will.

An upset tummy and a sphincter-loosening blackout: Lunar spaceflight is all glamour

Re: As time goes on the space program gets more amazing to me @jake

I could have retired over 20 years ago. I choose not to.

That's not hate, mate. That's pity.

Re: Lunch from both ends?

Need to take it twenty minutes or an hour before symptoms set in (depending on how much you are digesting at the moment ... takes longer after a meal).

As I said, I've never seen it fail, but I'm just a testimonial. As are you. Try it again?

On the gripping hand, I've never suggested someone prone to sea-sickness venture out in a force 8[0] ... Contrary to popular belief, I'm not prone to torturing lubbers.

[0] Beaufort? Really? Haven't you lot gone with teh metrics?

Re: As time goes on the space program gets more amazing to me @jake

Out o'curiosity, what flavo(u)r was the coolaid? Because THAT level of delusion usually requires industrial strength pharmaceuticals ...

Re: Lunch from both ends?

"there isn't really good anti-nausea medication that works on most people"

Ginger. Works for everyone I've recommended it to. Sea sickness, air sickness, car sickness, name it, it works.

Re: 0Day Rule is Licensed to Thrill .... Submitting and Surrendering to Simply Heavenly Tasks

Earth to amfM! We're discussing the Apollo program as it was back in the 1960s. We were afraid of very different Reds Under Our Beds back then.

And yes, the Soviets landing a man on the moon was a phantom threat. It wasn't going to happen, now way, no how, fageddaboudit. But they took great pains to make us think otherwise ... Disinformation is something they've been doing well since long before Putin was accepted into the KGB.

Whatever. Solstice was a couple days ago, the days are getting longer now. Almost time to start seedlings for spring planting ... and so the cycle continues, despite all the politicians worldwide doing their damnedest to fuck it up for the rest of us. Beers all around! :-)

Re: As time goes on the space program gets more amazing to me

No, the aspiration of the US is not to build a wall. That is the aspiration of our current and temporary Idiot in Chief, and a very few of his most ignorant loudmouthed xenophobic supporters. The vast majority of us would rather see the money spent on something useful, like education. Or pothole repair.

Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password

Re: Loopy passengers

For rather large values of effective. One might even say overkill.

Re: Backdoor man - pedantry alert

We know.

TINW

Re: I don’t know why I’m reading this except...

Pining? Let's not get sappy.

Re: If this is how things are going to be

Yours wasn't b0rken, SirSpoon ... The problem was on my end. I should know better than to buy anything from ebay ...

Re: Evidently, they are politician detectors.

It detects people who are daft enough to think that online petitions mean anything to politicians.

Re: Doorways and walls?

"everything east of San Andreas will eventually slide into the Atlantic"

Common misconception. Actually, everything East of the New Madrid / Wabash Valley seismic zones will fall into the Atlantic. The rest of us will party.

Re: Loopy passengers

That's the first time I've heard a Rocket Propelled Grenade described as an expository method.

Re: Doorways and walls?

It's because the additional framing around a door makes it stronger than the rest of the walls. Also, door frames won't have weakened points where wire & plumbing are run.

Standing in your back door is contraindicated in an earthquake ... if you can get to it, get outside. The advice for standing in a doorway during an earthquake is if you are caught in the house. Note that depending on what's outside might make the "get outside" a bad idea ... hanging out under overhead wires, a carport, an old hollow oak tree or what have you might not be the best place to take shelter during a temblor. Best to make your exit plans in advance if you live in earthquake country.

As I type, I'm a couple hundred yards from the Rogers Creek fault, probable location of California's next big one ... When, not if! is the mantra around here :-)

Re: Solution...

A petard is just a small breaching charge. It doesn't necessarily have to be on a stick. Most were placed by hand, but some were fired from morters. Still are, actually, but they aren't usually called petards anymore ... the name has changed into many forms to describe the intended action of the charge.

Re: I'm pretty sure I can prove that...

Careful, now ... They'll be calling for a Mess Committee if we carry this to it's illogical conclusion, and we wouldn't want that, now would we?

Re: Solution...

If you really want to be petulant and archaic, you could use "hoise by his own petard".

Re: I'm pretty sure I can prove that...

I'm fairly sure that today would be a good day to eat a whole mess of pie, should one be so inclined.

Re: If this is how things are going to be

My UniversalDecoderRing[tm] suggests that you typoed "SOMEL".

The thing about politicians and backdoors ...

... seems they tried it just for once, found it all right for kicks, but now we've found out they have a habit that sticks.

(Apologies to Howard Devoto and Pete Shelley ... although I suspect they'd approve.)

Re: Australia day

"on the masses"? Eh?

Does Oz have enough of a population to even qualify as one mass, much less plural?

Re: I don’t know why I’m reading this except...

Those jokes are so old they are a copse. Everybody knot participating, take a bough.

OK, ok, I'll leaf now ... it's time forrest anyway.

Error pop-up? Don't worry, let's just get this migration done... BTW it's my day off tomorrow

Re: Not sure who is more dull...

Good fiends are hard to find.

Re: took the day off

As I tell prospective new clients "It's my job to ensure we see as little of each other as possible".

Related: I implemented a four hour minimum for on-site visits in (roughly) 1990, a couple years after I went solo. Double on weekends/holidays. A few clients balked at the new rate ... I simply told 'em "Don't call me unless you actually need me".

A new issue soon arose: Convincing 'em to pay 4 hours for a one minute visit. The old TV repairman's maxim applied, "I'm not charging you for thumping your TV with a screwdriver. I'm charging you for knowing where and how hard to thump your TV, and for showing up to do it". The explanation seems to have worked ... although about nine months ago, a child CEO wondered why I'd need to thump a TV with a screwdriver.

IT is many things, but it's rarely boring. "May you live in interesting times" may not be an actual old Chinese curse, but it's applicable anyway.

A few reasons why cops didn't immediately shoot down London Gatwick airport drone menace

Re: How about a high power laser burst ? (or things I saw in Star Wars)

How about giant Fresnel lenses in orbit? Burn 'em down like ants under a magnifying glass!

Freudian typoe?

"Just because the technology is available doesn't mean we should automatically sue it "

So THAT's where we are going wrong here in the US!

Theoria, poiesis, praxis, sueball! Not quite what Aristotle had in mind, methinks.

Re: How about a high power laser burst ?

"We British are the world leaders in just about everything..."

I've read that here in ElReg's "comments" section for years, so it must be true!

Re: Flak

"I seem to remember a plane going down in the Hudson River in New York because of a bird strike."

US Airways Flight 1549 hit a flock of geese and lost all engine power. It wasn't just a bird-strike.

"I would assume that a couple of pounds of meat and feathers would generally do less damage than a couple of pounds of metal and plastic."

Flesh turns into a bag of really sticky, stringy elastic material that sticks to revolving bits and sends them out of balance, causing massive failure. (Ever clean a meat grinder after making sausage?) Drone-sized metal bends and goes away, plastic (mostly) shatters and goes away, causing less massive failure. (watch any number of "will it blend" videos.) I wouldn't want either one to hit my Cessna, but if I had a choice I'd take my chances with a drone over a goose or turkey.

London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found

Re: How many drones does it take ...?

"whether a twin-engined aircraft at max t/o weight losing an engine"

https://www.mercurynews.com/2010/02/17/plane-crash-kills-3-tesla-motors-employees-striking-fear-in-east-palo-alto-neighborhood/

ElReg's article:

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/02/18/tesla_palo_alto_plane_crash/

My initial take on the subject:

https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/all/2010/02/18/tesla_palo_alto_plane_crash/#c_698489

@Trixr

"but it's hard to find driver's licence forgers. I wouldn't even know where to begin. So that immediately stops me from hiring a car to rob a bank or deliberately mow down pedestrians."

What makes you think a criminal would hire a car or other vehicle, when it's so easy to steal one? They are criminals, remember?

"there's really one use for guns"

I can think of at least five: Food harvesting; putting down diseased/infirm critters; varmint control; meditation[0]; collecting. I've used guns for all of the above in the last week.

[0] I find gunsmithing, handloading and long-distance target shooting to be quite meditative.

Chill, it's not WikiLeaks 2: Pile of EU diplomatic cables nicked by hackers

Re: Everybody Needs Read This for it is gospel truth ? :-)

Around these here parts, "despicable" is usually only used by folks who are somewhat loony. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Might I add disgusting, detestable and discreditable?

Re: Everybody Needs Read This for it is gospel truth ? :-)

Exactly, amfM. I think deplorable would also work.

50 years ago: NASA blasts off the first humans to experience a lunar close encounter

Re: Apollo 1

"Brain is not gonna hurt you though."

Depends on what kind of prions it contains ... I'm not allowed to give blood here in the US because I lived in Blighty for a number of years before/during the BSE scare.

Re: Remeber those heady days of the Apollo missions well

To be fair, "the US" doesn't want a wall. The Idiot in Chief and a small faction of his favorite loudmouths want a wall. The vast majority of us would rather seen money spent on something useful, such as education. Or pothole repair.