* Posts by zen1

506 publicly visible posts • joined 29 Dec 2010

Page:

Microsoft seeks patent on employee spy system

zen1
Coffee/keyboard

let em try to implement it... never fear...

BOFH is here.

Obama security in Oz lost booklet FAIL

zen1

Then they gotta be....

Bible thumpin, gun toting, conservative, socialist hating, asexual crocodiles.

HELL ON EARTH: The Great Dying

zen1
Pint

Somebody think of the children!!

Has anybody told Al Gore about this?

Facebook says it's winning against Justin Bieber smut onslaught

zen1
FAIL

but they failed

on combatting Justin Bieber as a person.

Vacuum cleaner set Swedish nuke plant on fire

zen1
Coffee/keyboard

ugh

beer, nose, keyboard laugh! ow ow ow... ever experience a mouth full of beer attempting to egress through the nasal cavity, at high speeds, due to laughter? Hurts like hell, but that was damn funny.

zen1
Coffee/keyboard

Product liability...

The following was copied directly out of the user documentation of a Shop-VAC (TM). Please see item #3. So, either the manufacturer of the device didn't proof read the english translated to swedish document, that was printed in China or somebody didn't read the instructions very well.

Furthermore, after re-reading the below document, in its original, unmolested state, the fact that we need 25 cautionary bullet items (at best we need maybe 5 or 6, says that man with 7 fingers) is conclusive evidence that we, as a civilization, are doomed and will NEVER have anything nice.

Finally, at the risk of sounding serious, given the fact that a containment vessel is designed to withstand tremendous amounts of heat, pressure and the flash point of the run of the mill wet/dry vac is around 500 degrees F, I'm thinking someone has some serious explaining to do.

When using an electrical appliance, basic precautions should always be followed, including the

following: READ ALL INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE USING THIS APPLIANCE.

WARNING – TO REDUCE THE RISK OF FIRE, ELECTRIC

SHOCK OR INJURY:

1. Do not leave appliance when plugged in. Unplug from outlet when not in use and before

servicing. Connect to a properly grounded outlet only. See Grounding Instructions.

2. Do not expose to rain – store indoors.

3. Do not allow to be used as a toy. Close attention is necessary when used by or near children, in nuclear reactors.

4. Use only as described in this manual. Use only Manufacturer’s recommended attachments.

5. Do not use with damaged cord or plug. If appliance is not working as it should, has been

dropped, damaged, left outdoors or dropped into water, contact Shop-Vac Corporation for

assistance.

6. Do Not: pull or carry by cord, use cord as a handle, close a door on cord or pull cord around

sharp edges or corners. Do not run appliance over cord. Keep cord away from heated surfaces.

7. Do not unplug by pulling on cord. To unplug, grasp the plug; not the cord.

8. Do not handle plug or appliance with wet hands.

9. Do not put any object into openings. Do not use with any openings blocked; keep free of dust,

lint, hair and anything that may reduce air flow.

10. Keep hair, loose clothing, fingers and all parts of body away from openings and moving parts.

11. Do not pick up anything that is burning or smoking, such as cigarettes, matches or hot ashes.

12. Do not use without dust bag and/or filters in place.

13. Turn off all controls before unplugging.

14. Use extra care when cleaning on stairs.

15. Do not use to pick up flammable or combustible liquids such as gasoline or use in areas

where they may be present.

16. Do not use your cleaner as a sprayer of flammable liquids such as oil base paints, lacquers,

household cleaners, etc.

17. Do not vacuum toxic, carcinogenic, combustible or other hazardous materials such as

asbestos, arsenic, barium, beryllium, lead, pesticides or other health endangering materials.

Specially designed units are available for these purposes.

18. Do not pick up soot, cement, plaster or drywall dust without cartridge filter and collection filter

bag in place. These are very fine particles that may pass through the foam and affect the

performance of the motor or be exhausted back into the air. Additional collection filter bags

are available.

19. Do not leave the cord lying on the floor once you have finished the cleaning job. It can become

a tripping hazard.

20. Use special care when emptying heavily loaded tanks.

21. To avoid spontaneous combustion, empty tank after each use.

22. The operation of a utility vac can result in foreign objects being blown into eyes, which can

result in eye damage. Always wear safety goggles when operating vacuum.

23. STAY ALERT. Watch what you are doing and use common sense. Do not use vacuum

cleaner when you are tired, distracted or under the influence of drugs, alcohol or medication

causing diminished control.

24. WARNING! Do NOT use this vacuum cleaner to vacuum lead paint debris because this

may disperse fine lead particles into the air. This vacuum cleaner is not intended

Ballmer shoots down Microsoft breakup advice

zen1
FAIL

But seriously...

I would be remiss if I didn't at least mention the fact that Bing just sucks and should be wiped off the face of this planet.

Facebook offers 20-year privacy settlement to FTC

zen1
Mushroom

On one hand

If people would simply read the terms and conditions then they would know and understand that facebook has nothing to gain by protecting anything belonging to anybody. So, my guess is that IF the gubment bites on the face book proposed plan, it will be ripe with loop holes and technicalities that, on the surface, appear to be protecting the users rights to privacy, but are really nothing more than an absolute sham.

Conversely, it'd be fantastic if the government forbade FB (et. al) from tracking, monitoring or planting cookies on machines of people who DON'T use Face Book or have a face book account.

After hearing about the latest accusations of FB tracking non-FB users, I did a little digging in some of the cookie files, on a machine that only I use. Guess what, I found a number of cookies that pointed back to facebook.com.

Had I a fb account AND agreed to their ToS, they'd have me by the short and curlies and could do pretty much anything they wanted. But I've never signed up, as I have much better things to do with my time. And I don't recall them contacting me about leasing disk space on MY computer.

Mark: You're a lying, slimy asshole, bitch!

Nokia Lumia 800

zen1

Actually...

I kind of like it. I think it's asthetically pleasing; I prefer wider phones to thinner phones and to me, the whole purpose of a smartphone is emphasis on the latter part of the moniker: PHONE! If this thing has the same Nokia reliability as some of their older phones, in terms of reception and clarity then I think it's worth a shot. However, I'm with a couple of other posters: I do not want to make my contacts public domain information; I don't want integrated into face book, and here's the deal breaker... I DON'T want Bing! In my experience it's as useful as bulgarian funbags on the back of a turtle.

If they address those issues, I may buy one.

Zuckerberg: 'Make partnerships, not war'

zen1
Thumb Down

Um, mr. zuckerburg?

Just suck it & go away already.

Apple was OK to fire man for private Facebook comments

zen1
Coffee/keyboard

You sir...

owe me a new keyboard!

China, Russia called out as cyberspy hotbeds

zen1

@AC

Well, I work for a company that has the attention of the PRC; so much so that the amount of blocked traffic that comes from .CN address space outnumbers the sum total of all other traffic (blocked and allowed). That being said, it sure as hell doesn't help matters that my country, the DoD, other government agencies and a whole gaggle of defense contractors have shitty security policies and even worse incident handling procedures.

What I find so interesting about the whole thing is that IF the "great firewall" of the PRC is so effective at keeping the vast majority of its internet faring citizens from evil capitalist news outlets and other such imperialist and more nafarious websites, then where the hell is it all coming from, if it's not state sanctioned?''

I can see a small percentage of traffic being allowed out through a number of different anonymous methods, but the volumes of traffic I see and over the specific tcp/udp ports, you can't tell me that the Chinese user community are so clueless about infosec that every effing machine is infected.

Robot cop tackles mystery tinfoil poo-bomb bandit

zen1
Coat

sorry, had to (in case someone else hasn't already)

The shit is going to hit the fan in Toronto over this!

600,000 hacks a day, welcome to Facebook

zen1
Trollface

meh...

Personally, I still think FB and all of it's overlay networks are nothing more than one giant threat vector and should be 'walled' off by the rest of the civilized world. This could have the positive effect of no longer displaying the stupid that makes use of it, from every country that allows FB in. I for one would be particularly happy as it seems a rather disproportionate number of the clueless originate from my homeland (America). And the fact that these twits are allowed to touch a computer at all, let alone be allowed procreate and further pollute the gene pool, makes me weep for the whole of humanity.

Just think, if we turn off access to the very entity that enables their stupidity, maybe they just might read a book?

OK, naive, I know

Jobs: 'I'll spend my dying breath destroying Android'

zen1

@ Adrian W

Then using your logic, why wouldn't Mercedes-Benz sue the hell out of every auto manufacturer on the face of the earth, for hundreds, if not thousands of "rip off's"? As much as I hate to admit this, Job's didn't really own the concept of a "smart phone". I distinctly recall RIM, Palm and HP (pocket PC) having similar products pretty much come and go before the iPhone ever showed up on anybody's radar.

Apotheker right hand man Wohl exits HP

zen1
Facepalm

chief turd polisher?

So he was the one ultimately responsible for sugar coating feces? Wow.

Vegas man begs web for $1m to fix gigantic scrotum

zen1
Meh

I'm thinking

Either the national distributor of Brazil Nuts or Adidas (soccer/football ball division) would be naturals! My guess is that he could probably get a better deal through tissue/organ donation.

Cassandra database now ready for mere mortals

zen1
Devil

Is it just me?

"You don't need to know the nuts and bolts..." and this was developed by FB? I'm thinking that alone would be incentive enough to go over every inch of it with a fine tooth comb.

Spotify 'sold soul' to boy king Zuckerberg

zen1
Devil

sink into into the swamp

The second burns down, falls over then sinks into the swamp. But the third castle, after becoming a bastion for all of your personal data, will evently either explode or be pillaged, before sinking into the swamp.

Gay-bashing cult plans picket of Steve Jobs funeral

zen1
Mushroom

WBC

It's morons like this that erode any remaining credibility for legitimate churches. Not that anybody agrees with me or even cares, I happen to be a devout christian and I'm positively convinced that God probably wants to bitch slap these people, for a wide number of reasons.

I hope, albeit highly improbable, that this church gets its collective head out of its ass and gets a clue.

When Ellison goes, will he go gracefully?

zen1
Pint

I dunno

I don't have quite the glowing admiration that the author of this article apparently has. But when I think about how Ellison will leave Oracle, I'm almost certain it's going to happen in one of two ways:

1) He is hauled out of Oracle's HQ in a body bag.

2) He leaves in a rather spectacular, if not explosive way, that will be the talk of the IT industry for years.

My money's on the latter. Mainly because if Larry's delicate sensibilities and massive ego are offended in any way, shape or form, his head will probably explode. My guess is if he's put into a situation where it would be better for Oracle for him to quietly step down or it would result it in being torn to shreds, he'd allow the company to be ripped apart just to spite the entities questioning his authority or, well, sanity.

While I certainly hope it's a good long time before he takes his last breath, I can't wait to see him melt down in an epic way.

Apple cofounder Steve Jobs is dead at 56

zen1
Pirate

God speed and good tail winds

I know I've made a lot of cracks about Apple and its products over the years, but Mr. Jobs was a visionary. I would like to express my sincerest condoleces to his and the rest of the Apple family.

I chose the Jolly Roger because for years it flew over Cupertino.

Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

zen1
Pint

Do you hear that popping noise?

it's the sound of fanboi's & girls heads exploding all over the globe, as a result of this article. Just be careful.. if you write anything too negative, they just might attempt to storm the gates of el Reg HQ and pelt you with rotten fruit (put absolutely intended).

However, should the author need ammo of his own, I would be more than willing to offer my gen 1 iPhone so he can fend at least one would be fan-attacker off.

Ellison: 'There'll be nothing left of IBM once I'm done'

zen1

If you must know

the only reason he wears a tie is to keep the foreskin from sliding up over his face.

Apple turns the screws on reseller channel

zen1
Thumb Down

Former Apple reseller...

I remember back in the day when Apple first tapped into the educational market with the //e's. As a reseller back then, we were devastated when we were undercut by Apple's direct sales force. And as the product lines changed, Apple's policies have become more predatory and have essentially screwed anybody who's attempted to purchase a franchise or plunk down the substantial investment of becoming an authorized reseller.

In todays business climate, if I were a reseller of apple kit and had that crap pulled on me, I'd probably liquidate all my inventory, bail and go for something a little more profitable.

Reebok used 'very fit woman' in buttock-related deception

zen1

sigh

more conclusive proof that various departments of the government are nothing more than anal retentive, asexual pricks with no sense of humor.

Facebook wants to poke politicians 'who share our goals'

zen1

@ Craggy & AC 08:07

Now you know how a lot of us feel, over here. It'd actually be quite humorous if it weren't so contemptious and nausiating.

zen1
Thumb Down

As an American

I find Political Action Committee's nausiating. For example, the PAC run by the financial industry either heavily influenced or supplied verbage to a lot of legislation that our moron government has passed into law.

The fact that FaceBook wants to Borg us into their way of thinking makes me want to drop off the grid entirely, although, my wife, being a rather ardent FB user, may have a slight problem with that.

I could rant on and on about the evils of PAC's, but I'll stop there.

Ed Miliband signs up for another hour of insults from Twitter

zen1
Go

I for one...

welcome our vertically challenged overlords and lordettes.

Facebook's complexity will be its doom

zen1
Childcatcher

God I hope not

Let me clarify... The closest I get to facebook is "failbook", which satyrizes and spotlights all of the general stupidity that some FB users can exhibit. Nothing brings me more pleasure or gives me more hours of entertainment than watching people embarass the hell out of themselves.

Be it through the magic of updating their status, via their cell phone, that has an over aggressive spell checker.

Or the relentless and brutal trolling that makes the Reg forums look like a completely non-dysfunctional family's weekly dinner.

So, before anybody complains about the invasiveness of all the new FB changes, please take a moment and think about me and my lone selfish indulgence of watching FB users make cannon fodder out of themselves.

Trust me, I'm a computer: Watson takes on health care challenge

zen1

Yes, but...

Everybody’s physiology is slightly different, case in point, perfume. While, from the bottle it generally smells the same to everybody, once it’s applied to 10 women, it’s subtly different on each one.

Watson may help narrow things down slightly, but it’s not responsible for the ultimate welfare of the patient, the doctor is.

However, I am curious, what’s say a patient comes in complaining of flu like symptoms, and the Watson device misdiagnoses the person’s malady, who’s held responsible, IBM and Watson’s programmers, the insurance company or the Doctor and the medical institution he’s affiliated with?

I don’t know, I’ve got really mixed emotions about this, but I’m leaning towards the “I don’t think this is the smartest idea” side.

Rogue toilet takes out Norfolk server

zen1
Coat

ugh

that would be a shitty job. The paperwork just keeps piling up (documenting server outages for sla.. honestly).

Facebook suggests sharing everything all the time

zen1
Pint

But does she

service the brakes on your vette?

Facebook 'personal' news feed gets algorithm rejig

zen1

hehehe

"google struggling to find it's g-spot"... almost spilled a pint after reading this one... bravo!

Rumor: HP giving Apotheker Das Boot

zen1

Yeah, but...

at least the titanic had a band.

Man sentenced to 14 years for mass credit card theft

zen1
Pirate

if it were up to me..

he'd get one day in prision for every dollar he stole. Don't ask what I'd do to the robbers (corporate or otherwise).

Apollo 17 Moon landing: Shock revelations

zen1

Yanno Lester...

I have to hand it to the russians and their inginuity... I remember reading where NASA spent millions on developing a pen that would write in 0 G... The russians used a pencil.

zen1
Pint

re: Armando

Wait a sec... you had me sold on items 1 and 3, however, I have it on good authority Al Gore invented the moon, as well as the Saturn V, as well as most of the analog circuitry used in the LEM and Command Module.

Lest we forget, Al Gore is to inventiveness as Chuck Norris is to. um.. being Chuck Norris.

Lester: You are now my hero!

Yahoo! 'f**ked me over'! says! Carol! Bartz!

zen1
Coat

What if...

Her and Ballmer created an offspring? This causes me to wonder if the child would first throw its dirty diaper at someone, before launching into an obscenity laced tirade?

Oh the humor... the humor...

Sweden rolls out invisible infrared tank

zen1

re: Larch

Genius. Pure genius! Thank you, you made my day.

WikiLeaks releases full searchable US secret cable files

zen1
Mushroom

love him or hate him

Thanks to Julian, lots of people, innocent and guilty as sin alike, are in for a world of shit.

Google unleashes Street View upon the Amazon

zen1

So....

what exactly is the street address for "the amazon"?

Celebrity Google+rs do need steenkin' badges

zen1
Coat

Office Space...

punchlines come to mind...

Chic USB drive leads double life as personal vibrator

zen1
Coat

I think my head is about ready to explode..

The punchlines....

While I certainly admire the designer's inginuity, I'm already wondering about when they start showing up in the office? Will data files be backed up more regularly or will there be a drop in productivity, by 50% of the workforce?

As a part time desktop tech who has to help folks out with regular usb drives, I'm wondering about how I should react when a customer rings, complaining about something that has gone awry with their product (the storage component).

If I buy a couple of cases of these things for executives (as gifts to the ladies), do you think the mood might lighten up a little bit?

I'm also wondering that if I jam a thumb drive into an unused oriface of a blow up doll, if I can claim her as a legitimate business expense, as storage? Or would that fall under entertainment?

And as a sidebar about the possibility of a buttplug offering... I do believe that would be best marketed to the Apple crowd, for rather obvious reasons.

I don't understand anymore...

Apple sued over Mac OS X 'quick boot'

zen1

I for one...

Am tired of all this shit!

MPs slam 'unworkable' one-size-fits-all NHS care records' system

zen1
Mushroom

I can't speak for BT...

but if CSC-UK is anything like the GOS based out of the states, one of the reasons it was so damn expensive is CSC has more project managers and bean counters than they do competent technical folk.

Hackers dump secret info for thousands of cops

zen1
Pint

The telephone game

I don't believe I insinuated that anybody should be shot for hacking. I simply stated that if convicted, they should be tried as adults. And while I'm clarifying, I think a fair number of you seem to be operating under the misperception that 'merica is nothing more than one giant cess pool with the constant drone of small arms fire. That might be the norm for LA, San Francisco, Denver, Chicago, Cincinnati, most of "the south", Detroit, Cleveland, Pittsburgh and everything on the eastern seaboard, from Maryland to, oh say, the northern state border for Mass.

We're not all uncivilized heathens or uncouth trash that rely on pistols. I happen to prefer my 30-06 or my .308 rifles.

Now, back to "at the risk of sounding serious"... One can argue that the police screwed the pootch for laxed security, ok, fine. I'll grant you that one. BUT, comparing organized crime to a "hacktivist" group that's pissed at the world about wiki leaks? That's too much of a leap.

If they ever do find out who's responsible AND those suspects are found guilty then they should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. Killing them? Nah, just remove all the product warning labels and get rid of product liability law suits and the gene pool will clean itself out in no time.

'Topiary' suspect bailed

zen1

"Serious Organised Crime Agency"?

opposed to 'funny organised crime agency', or 'mildly annoyed and organised crime agency'? But house arrest? What if he's convicted, a spanking, followed by no sweets?

Good news: A meltdown would kill fewer than we thought

zen1
Coat

as quoted from "The world according to Garp"

"But honey, the odds of another airplane crashing into this house are beyond astronomical... now..."

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