* Posts by lesession

117 posts • joined 21 Dec 2010


A tiny typo in an automated email to thousands of customers turns out to be a big problem for legal


Re: ????

The irony being that anyone who *is* using MySQL in a production environment (or MyLittleSQL as it's known round here) deserves everything they get.

The open source equivalent of MS Access, with about the same level of enterprise reliability.

Tim Cook: Sideloading is a disaster and proposed App Store reforms would harm user privacy and security


Re: So you're saying

"Android has 47 times more malware than iOS does."

Citation needed. Sounds very much like one of those 57.9% of all statistics that are made up on the spot ...

As another vendor promises 3 years of Android updates, we ask: How long should mobile devices receive support?



Still getting regular updates on my nearly 3 y o Huawei.

So whilst I may be a threat to Cisco's profits national security, I know that my data is leaking to China in the most secure way possible!

Burgers, birds, and Blue Screens of Death: Remember the joys of commuting?


Re: Pull the shutters down?

I think you'll find that puts you in Nid

We can't avoid it any longer. Here's a story about the NFT mania... aka someone bought a JPEG for $69m in Ether


Re: It just goes to show ...

Whilst we're doing a book club, 'Tulipomania' by Mike Dash. Read that then tell me the analogy is 'tired'.

Knock, knock. Who's there? NAT. Nat who? A NAT URL-borne killer


Well played on the headline

That is all. beer to whoever came up with that one!

Theranos destroyed crucial subpoenaed SQL blood test database, can't unlock backups, prosecutors say


Re: Hmmm

Donald? Is that you?

Elon Musk says he tried to sell Tesla to Apple, which didn’t bite and wouldn't even meet


Re: Apple Car

Brilliant, multiple upvotes.

The only other thing will be that it will only go to Apple approved destinations on Apple approved roads

Google declares Maps COVID-19-ready after retraining it on pandemic traffic – or the lack of it in some areas


Title inflation

Ah, but if you called your project (a) 'calculating a rolling average' or (b) 'AI-driven machine learning', which one do you think you'd get paid more for?

See also (a) 'keeping the lights on and not screwing up upgrades' and (b) DevOps

You're testing them wrong: Whiteboard coding interviews are 'anti-women psychological stress examinations'


That's what the manager is for

S/he should be fielding the execs and stakeholders, leaving the techies to, you know, fix the problem.

Every time a developer answers a phone call from some suit asking for a resolution time, the resolution time has slipped by the length of the phone call plus the time taken to refocus after the phone call.

Who's still using Webex? Not even Cisco: Judge orders IT giant to use rival Zoom for virtual patent trial


Backed the wrong horse

As lockdown rapidly approached, our organisation spaffed thousands on panic-buying Webex licenses.

About two days before MS Teams became temporarily free for organisations in our sector.

So we're all WFH and using Webex to keep the team going ... send help ...

Whoa, someone actually texted you in 2020? Oh, nvm, it's just Boris Johnson, telling you to stay the f**k at home


Re: Didn't get it

Still not arrived on either of our Vodafone devices as at 09:00 Wednesday

Grab a towel and pour yourself a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster because The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is 42


I did the Northern Lights coastal voyage last year, and Slartibartfast's work really is worth seeing

We regret to inform you there are severe delays on the token ring due to IT nerds blasting each other to bloody chunks


God this story made me feel old

A story which has to explain to the whippersnappers what Token Ring was is bad enough,

but one that has to explain what Doom is/was ...

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now: Brexit tea towel says it'll just be the gigabit broadband


Re: Led Zep

For a horrible moment I thought nobody else had picked up on that.

You want a Y2K crash? FINE! Here's a poorly computer


Re: Same as Audits

Not a challenge within the rules, but you can have a bonus point as we enjoyed your contribution

Not call, dude: UK govt says guaranteed surcharge-free EU roaming will end after Brexit transition period. Brits left at the mercy of networks


Thanks Brexiteers

Another fine mess you've got us all into

Brian Eno's latest composition: A giant Christmas card with Julian Assange on it


Re: Boring Eno

'Always Crashing In The Same Car' is quite appropriate for Assange don'tchathink?

Pencil 15 Jan 2020 in your diary: That's when Microsoft hopes you'll be at the cutting Edge... Chromium style


I know it's unfashionable round here ...

But I've been using the Edgeium Dev channel for a few months and it's looking really good.

Faster page rendering than Chrome, wide support for website functionality, and very few issues encountered along the way (the only major-ish issue I've encountered in daily working use was that it took a while to get debugging compatibility with Visual Studio, and there's some incompatibility with the way RealTimeTrains manage the display of their cookie acceptance dialog which means the message appears on every page refresh).

Microsoft says .NET Framework porting project is finished: If your API's not on the list, it's not getting in



Because continuing with a flawed, incomplete, or post-release compromised API is infinitely preferable to working with one that maintains 100% backwards compatibility whilst issuing fixes, patches and updated versions.

How are you getting on building everything with v1.0 of every tool and interface you use?

Our hero returns home £500 richer thanks to senior dev's appalling security hygiene


Re: Ahhh passwords...

Not Airplane (Looks like I picked the wrong day to give up correcting references) but XKCD ...


DXC Technology exec: What should our brand be known for?


How is DXC appalling, let me count the ways ...

What should DXC be known for?

- their ability to delay any project by a factor of years

- their ability to buy a product, sack everyone who knows anything about that product, and then continue to charge exorbitant maintenance fees for technical support by people who know nothing about the product they are supporting

- over-promising and under-delivering

- incompetetnce

- their ability to project manage anything to death

- did I mention incompetence?

The sooner DXC goes belly up the better.

It was all Yellow: Mass email about a Coldplay CD breaks the internet


Re: The magic phrase...

The best thing about that for me on SO was the earnest discussions about 'Whether this design ties in with our policy of being welcoming to newcomers' ...

Are you a Windows 1 in 10 (1809)? Or a mighty 80 percenter (1803)?


Re: 1803

Ah, more FUD. I'm guessing you've never seen a W10 box in your life.

Surface: Tested to withstand the NFL. Microsoft firmware updates? Not so much


Re: It's a bit like rugby?

I'm a huge NFL fan and have been known to describe it as a combination of all-in wrestling and chess.

Show me a better spectacle in the world of sport than Montana to Rice, or Mahomes to Hill, and then maybe let's have a conversation about whether the time the ball spends moving is the key indicator; I've seen lots of (Association) football where the ball was in constant motion and there was precisely zero excitement on offer.

Windows 10 Insiders sent on quest deep into Registry to fetch goblet of Reserved Storage


Re: Kill Windows 10 version of Start Menu

Blimey is ClassicShell still around? The market for that hacky POS disappeared the moment W10 appeared and fixed the nastiness of W8.

Presumably you're also still using a 14 inch CRT television, your telephone has a rotary dialler on it and a wire attaching it to the house, and your car has none of those new-fangled parking sensors and seatbelts and airbags ...

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight


Re: Mixed feelings

> [TAB] has been the [next field] key for the -also many- decades of HTML existence,

> it's strange that you would only notice it now.

It's Eternal September ...

Time for a cracker joke: What's got one ball and buttons in the wrong place?


Millennium Bug

I got a new job and my start date ended up being Tuesday 4th January 2000.

So I spent the last few months of my old job coordinating getting the Novell Netware upgraded to a Y2K compliant version and all the other hardware & systems patched and upgraded.

It being a local Council office the place was shut to the public on Monday 03/01, so my manager and I went in early on the Monday, ran through our checklist and testing to ensure everything was OK, and were in the pub by 12 noon for a final Millennium Bug project sign-off and a farewell drink or several.

Tuesday 04/01, I turn up to my new job at another council ... and the email system wasn't up for nearly a fortnight because of a Y2K issue.

I should have known then; the place never did improve technologically and I moved on as soon as was decent ...

Careful with this latest Microsoft release – tug too hard on the threads and it tends to unravel


The Wikipedia jumper

Spends every December hassling you for payment, and gives the money to the website 'Foundation' rather than the people who actually raised and sheared the sheep, made the wool, or knitted the jumper

Ooo shiny! First Visual Studio 2019 sneak peek here in time for Chrimbo


Re: It always makes me smile...

> "The VS IDE isn't perfect, but for software requiring a visual interface"

> Which is a minority of software development in business enviroments.

Maybe in a business environment where every end user is comfortable setting parameters via the command line, or alternatively is engaged in such a menial process that the software does it all for them and they're just turning the handle.

Everyone else, including the healthcare staff I write software for, much prefers a UI thanks.

Behold, the world's most popular programming language – and it is...wait, er, YAML?!?


Re: "Popular" as in...?

Nah, popular as in 'Datree.io make the most money from getting management eejits to blow their budgets on consultancy about it'.

If you've got some budget left I've got this London Bridge I could sell you ...


Rule One of DevOps

Here's the only markup masquerading as a programming language you ever need in these circumstances:

(Reg.article.title).contains 'Devops'

{It's Marketing Hype regurgitated as 'News'} >> ignore


{Might be worth reading}

Macs to Linux fans: Stop right there, Penguinista scum, that's not macOS. Go on, git outta here


Ah diddums

Let me find my very smallest violin and play a sad sympathetic dirge.

Any idiot who spends Apple prices to run a linux box needs all their computing devices removing immediately for their own and the greater society's safety.

Worrying Windows 10 wrecking-ball weapon weirdly wanders wildly on worldwide web


Re: Sorry, but ...

Already do, just couldn't remember the canonical phrasing (and couldn't be bothered to look it up) at the time of posting :)


Sorry, but ...

New zero day flaw: 'It can be exploited by a malicious logged-in user or malware on an already infected computer' ...

Last December's RID hijacking: 'The technique requires a hacker to obtain administrative rights on a box, and can be used to assign admin rights to other users and guests.'

So to summarise both of these techniques rely on the attacker *already being an admin on the machine.* So the game is already up, the Visigoths are already inside the gates, and the attacker could install what they like and wreak all sorts of havoc without going to the trouble of mucking about with reg keys etc.

The 1809 update; that's a monumental cockup and MS deserve all the heat they're getting for that. This, not so much.

30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days


Re: "you were seriously stuck up a gum tree"

Have an upvote just for the use of 'Eternal September' which is a phrase I've not heard in many a year. The whole fricking world apart from you & me is now in Eternal September,and quite frankly I'm not so sure about me ...

Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!


Dawn Stubble's support tickets on the Devon County Council helpdesk are going to be permanently set to lowest priority for a good while ...

Reckon you deserve a Wikipedia entry? Try getting this bot's notice


Budge up on that island; I'll bring my flutes & concertina and we can play tunes as the rest of the world disappears up Jimmy Wales's backside

A fine vintage: Wine has run Microsoft Solitaire on Linux for 25 years


Re: !Linux can and does offer applications to perform the same task"

God I wish I could upvote that more than once. The only people who think that the simulacra are as good as the originals are people who don't actua;l;y have to do any meaningful work on the applications.

Just remind me about the latest OS market share scores again?

MSDN unleashes a fresh round of unintentional innuendo bingo


And of course ...

And of course don't forget the precursor to Stack Overflow, Expert Sexchange ...

Software development slow because 'Most of our ideas suck'


More utter bullsh ... snake oil

Good luck trying 'continuous experimentation' in software that actually *matters* like healthcare.

"That update you put out last week has directly contributed to three patients being mis-diagnosed, and one of them has died as a result!"

"Ah well, chill, man, we were just experimenting, I'll bang out another release with a fix in it later today."

Can I be a speaker at next year's event? I've got a scheme to remove the G from gullible and I need £200 mill in venture capital to get started; I should raise that from that shower in about 10 minutes, and sell them three London Bridges while I'm at it ...

Can't view memes on London-Southampton train? It's the worst line for mobile coverage


London-centric as ever

Try any of that Internet browsing nonsense on the Buxton-Manchester line!

Mind you we're lucky on BUX-MAN if the train that turns up has got all its wheels on; at least some of the rolling stock give you free showers in some seats when its raining.

But on the bright side, we're looking out the window at the Peak District, not London ...

DXC Tech CEO continues to wash away HPE old guard


DXC is in an utter tailspin

It must be hard work rearranging those deckchairs, seeing as how most of them are already under water ...

Software gremlin robs Formula 1 world champ of season's first win


Everything that is wrong with Formula 1 right there

What kind of 'sport' determines its winners and losers according to algorithmic calculations about how long it takes to get to the garage and back?

Calling F1 a 'sport' and the individual episode a 'race' should be done by the Trades Description Act.

Make the tracks wider so that the drivers can actually overtake, reduce all the in-race telemetry to the absolute minimum required for driver & crowd safety (by all means analyse the heck out of the gathered data afterwards), and cut the rule book down by 700 pages throwing out all the nonsense that means the start order is rarely actually determined by the qualifying laps, and then maybe you'd have something that was actually getting somewhere within a chance of being called a *sport*.

YouTube plan to use Wikipedia against crackpots hits snag


Oh the ironies

"It's not polite to treat Wikipedia like an endlessly renewable resource with infinite free labor."

Says a spokesdroid for the organisation that is built on people giving their expertise/fanaticism for free then regularly asks for money to support the 'Foundation'.

I'd put my response but that also wouldn't be polite.

Great, we're going to get DevOps-ed. So, 15 years of planning processes – for the bin?


Re: I'm not a developer but this is a genuine question...

You're missing the point. The whole point of DevOps is to shift blame and workload entirely onto the developers.

No specification? Tough, just keep guessing and shoving out updates until your guess equates to the requirement.

No oversight? Well that's your fault, that suddenly was the developers' baby as well.

Blame? Oh that goes squarely into the developers' lap, because if the solids hit the ventilation, management didn't know what the naughty developers were up to.

DevOps is an utter abrogation of management responsibility, and is deliberately engineered so that the developer gets the blame if it goes wrong whilst the management gets the credit if it goes right.

It is a fraud built on a Ponzi scheme anchored in a software South Sea Bubble.

Fender's 'smart' guitar amp has no Bluetooth pairing controls


Re: I will not hear a word said against Fender

Bah, modern rubbish. Gut strings and friction tensioners for the win!


Re: my neighbours take over our LG soundbar with their Bulgarian music

This must be the first Andy Irvine / Planxty ref on El Reg.

Mine's the one with the Well Below The Valley in the pocket ...

EU aviation agency publishes new drone framework. Hobbyists won't like it


Ban the lot of them

In what kind of parallel universe is it *sensible* for the average person to fly these things out of line of sight?

What kind of dunderheaded mouth-breathing cretin *cannot* see the potential dangers presented by them being in charge of, but not able to see, a flying object with the impact equivalent of several house bricks?

This is not an assault on people's liberties. This is society attempting to protect the majority against the actions of the brainless.

A dog DNA database? You must be barking


Anti-pun police

Are all the 1 downvotes for the various puns all from the same person?



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