Posts by The Alpha Klutz

Survey: Win8 only HALF as popular as Win7 among IT bosses

botchulism and ciphlisis are spicy

if you got both at the same time, the only thing that could make you day any worse is switching to Windows 8

Black Ops 2 takes HALF A BEELLION DOLLARS in just ONE DAY

People are blood hungry

And you'll want some kind of training in armed combat when the economy that is so obviously unsustainable stops sustaining. Can you guess what happens then? Both barrels in your face motherfucker.

Thought you'd escaped Twitter? Think again as Twits get email button

and if that's not creepy enough, Zuckerberg is sharing your photos with the cops/ad men/marketing gurus/private mercenaries/bureaucrats/technocrats/elite bankers and the new world order...

learn how to use a computer

who cant copy and paste 140 characters into an email client.....

fucking hell i could type the whole thing out from memory. are people really so inferior to me these days?

Facebook: Give us your credit card and pals' addresses as GIFTS

bit of a non starter

i cant get my facebook friends to talk to me.

cant imagine im going to get many cupcakes either....

Boss wrong to demote man over anti-gay-marriage Facebook post

I dont know what is more disgusting

gay marriage

straight marriage

the government

or all of the above

Automatic Facebook couple pages: Nauseating sign of desperation

Is Zuckerburg a brilliant businessman?

or just some kinda idiot, I mean, wtf is this shit all about then?

If I was a shareholder I'd be biting down hard on a towel right now....

Software sucks these days - and just maybe it's all YOUR fault

Re: So when will Software Development become Engineering?

im not in a hurry for it to change

You said it yourself, the work will be farmed out to global consortia who will employ a limited number of the world's best engineers and an army of grunts. They probably won't employ you or your friends and if they do the work will not be fun as you will apply x formula to y problem or get fired. With emphasis on the firings and shitty treatment, as no one really cares how good an engineer is anyway.

Re: Alternatively

CPU cycles are much cheaper than people.

Most software is unremarkable. store a bunch of numbers, show them to user x when he logs on, send out an email, its not some NASA shit they're working on. An engineer might write the code efficiently but a businessman realises it doesn't matter. by the time you've finished writing it efficiently CPUs are already 10 times faster again...

software sucks because the sales people arent selling any software

just their jumped up notion of brand identity and other such nonsense. any actual product that gets made is incidental.

Humans becoming steadily STUPIDER, says brainiac boffin

hes a proper idiot if he think he can look at number of genes and extrapolate out brainpower

its like trying to extrapolate penis length from number of penis hairs. nice idea, but misses the point entirely.

How to spot a terrible tech boss within SECONDS

The depressing conclusion to draw

is that there really is no good IT company, from the developers point of view. It is almost certain no one will understand you or give a shit about you. You might get nice pay if you are lucky, you wont have to sit in an unfurnished flat looking at the bare lightbulb swinging, but even so the bimmer on your drive won't bring you any happiness either. you will never be allowed to do anything fulfilling or even morally acceptable. your job will be to stare into the abyss a little bit deeper every day and in the end you will find that you have no soul

Brits admit to using mobile phones during sex - and not in a good way

haha human couples

disgusting. anything that splits them up is good.

Sinofsky OFFSKI: Is Windows 9 now codenamed 'Defenestrate'?

LOL

If I was a shit disturber that's exactly what I'd do after launching a big new turd on the market.

cash out man.

Ten gaming headsets

this is why pro headphones come with detachable cables. They know cables break or become damaged.

If the cable will not detach, you can cut the end off and solder on a new connector, should you have the tools handy.

just bought Beyerdynamic DT150

They make the DT190 that is the same but with a microphone (i.e. a headset).

Pretty much the industry standard recording/tracking headphones. Judicious use of EQ will make them sound more fun. And a little bit cheaper than some of the cans on offer here. They look horrid but if they don't outlast every other can on the market in terms of durability I will eat my hat.

Worried dad invents pepper-spray iPhone case

Re: not a fan of chemical weapons

and in the heat of an attack, how is having your most expensive possession attached awkwardly to your weapon via cheap plastic supposed to offer any benefit at all? the savvy shopper would buy the refill cans on their own... probably direct from the supplier so no money has to go to this sociopath.

not a fan of chemical weapons

there's easier cheaper ways to hurt people

Box shifters cram UK market with crusty PCs to make room for Win 8

Re: newsflash: nobody wants celerons

or at least make them justifiably cheap not just £10 off the i3 model.

newsflash: nobody wants celerons

stop fucking selling them

yeah

i wouldnt put it past the likes of acer that some of their products maybe are built like shit with this in mind

Mmm, what's that smell: Coffee or sweat? How to avoid a crap IT job

Re: Nah

The consequences of not being choosy are just as severe:

> no career path

> depression

> suicide etc

I remember being desperate for my first job and I would take any work. Now not so much. There are companies out there who simply don't deserve to have employees and in any good economy would be out of business, but because of the cheap labour and loans available to them now that our economy is shat through a bin bag, they are turning out a shit product and making everyone miserable in the process. Is this really what we need in this country? No. We should all agree to up our pay expectations by 6 or 7% overnight. So the bastards wake up and everyone they interview from now on is suddenly asking for more money. Maybe then they'll have to focus on making a quality product with high margins so they don't have to treat their staff like shit.

It's a romantic thought. Never happen tho.

Re: If I'm interviewing you I will lop 20% off my expectations of you based on your CV

bloody hell, on the CVs I've seen, that would leave your expectations for most of them sitting between about -10 and -20%.

Just to clarify I do advocate reading the job description before the interview. But when dealing with the waste of space recruitment companies, any amount of effort you put into impressing them is wasted. They see exactly what they want to see in the candidates. I have spoken to these people are you are right, they are ignorant and dishonest. If they ask technical questions at all, it is immediately clear that they do not understand the nature of what they are asking, and are simply reading items off a list. A robot could do that.

All jobs are ultimately a waste of time. Don't try too hard to get any one job. Don't even read the descriptions (have you ever read one that was accurate?). Play the numbers game. This has several advantages; it's easier, and by attaching no significance to the outcome of the interview you are free to perform your best and to take a healthily cynical view of your prospective employer.

The painful fact is that it takes a recruiter about 2 seconds to determine whether they give a shit about your CV, so why should you spent (more than) 2 seconds reading a job description when the effort will not in any circumstance be reciprocated? It's not fair is it? And who's time is more important? Yours. The recruiters are paid to look at your CV, so send it in and let them worry about the sodding job description. Most of the time they haven't even read it themselves, so what is the fucking point?

New iPad's innards: Good news for recent fondleslab buyers

Re: hahaha

no

Re: hahaha

i thumbed u down because what u have isnt curable. sorry mate.

hahaha

the idea of buying an apple was to have a one size fits all computer that, while being crap, was at least reliable because allt he devs use the same crappy computer as you. now thats not the case as they have a whole line of crap computers just like Dell etc so fuck it just buy a Sammy like everyone else.

Verizon staff arrested for stealing customer's nude pics

this is why you don't go into phone shops

as middle men go, they are some of the worst around. the majority of them are pornographers but others do worse things as well. you have to be quite a sick person to consider working for Verizon in the first place.

as an aside, the education system in the west is based on the Prussian model precisely so that we could have lots of phone shop employees (people too dumb to do anything else). so in a way its the pinical of modern achievement to have some pervert look through your shit and sell you a phone for too much money, at least it is in america where standards are quite a lot lower than they used to be...

Facebook trial: Tell everyone where you are, have a Wi-Fi peanut

location sucks says your friend near London

who cares?

Underdone iTunes put back in oven for another month

Re: how long does it take to knock up a shit music player?

I guess in Apple world everyone has an iPod so it doesnt really matter what format the music ends up in it would probably sound better through a tin can and string than it would through an iPod. but the facts are too painful for iPod owning masses

Re: how long does it take to knock up a shit music player?

i literally boot a second Windows XP machine w/ mediamonkey to listen to the codecs apple dont like because apparently a top of the line thousand pound computer from apple cant play most audio formats go figure. and they wanna cram their dick down your throat about being good at media.

how long does it take to knock up a shit music player?

why are all the main music players so shit? the crack smokers at apple should learn their fucking place and study how to implement MediaMonkey on Mac so that people dont have to use iTunes....

Xbox mod spreads KILLER Borderlands 2 GERM

i dont know what to hate more

the people who made the game

xbox 360

or the modders

hmmm

4G: Bad coverage, crap battery life - but at least it's really expensive

all phone companies are scum

right now wireless comms networks are a mess of crappy crap run by crap

in the future it will all be free and all phone calls will be free because the cost would be so insignificant that to produce a bill would cost several orders of magnitude more than the call itself.

im sick of paying for this crap service. im holding out a decade or 2 for it all to be free, and it will be, it wont be economical to charge.

Yahoo! will! ignore! 'Do! Not! Track!' from! IE10!

you could use some kinda high power laser to shine adverts into peoples eyes

peoples intent is always to look at adverts, the advertises just have to help them realise it

Headaches, delays plague Windows Store, dev claims

i wouldnt worry about it

nobodies checking the Microsoft app store anyway

Chrome extension blocks political speech on Facebook

elections r fun

people dont know hu to vote 4 because dey both suck

Windows 8: An awful lot of change for a single release

im already not missing the start button

it and its associated menus are so shit. its okay in a nicely package managed OS like Linux where a menu works but on Windows its a pile of shit even the bits linking to other bits of the OS are kludgy and you can click 6 links just to do some basic crap and its all worded like your a corporate whore in an office clicking links on the company dime. disgusting really. in start menu every company has its own menu systems --like your really gunna memorise the names of every company who makes every software you use. um no you are not. disgusting. it would be like Linux expecting you to memorise the names of Linus' family before you can open your browser.

The hoarder's dilemma, or 'Why can't I throw anything away?'

I finally managed to throw away my 56k modems

most of them

Facebook opens mobile apps advertising for all

ur friend says: buy this shit

trouble with Facebook ads is they just aint convincing.

They aint cool. they're fucking chilly. and chilly aint never been cool.

Protestors target Google over that video

Re: That attitude, protestors said, mean we have entered an "age of mockery".

the british answer to that is the "this is a drink free zone" sign that they put up exclusively around areas where people like to get pissed in public.

i kinda like being offended

its fun, like taking drugs or having sex or masturbating out of a car window. it gives you a rush that you cant get from being a glum killjoy.

That attitude, protestors said, mean we have entered an "age of mockery".

no shit sherlock

Endeavour: donuts and a Toyota ease shuttle's drive through L.A.

Re: A sad end

the globalists are about to make driving illegal for the 90%. only their AI cars will be allowed to drive. Soon robots will be dragging your body from workplace to workplace and that's how the globalists want it. If you experience any happy emotions, the globalists will find a way to fix that too. In the globalists system the human spirit is replaced with the idea of biological androids fighting for the minority of resources not allocated directly to globalists. Meanwhile the globalists will drink caviar and whale semen and burn the fossil fuels that they naturally don't want you to have, and it won't warm the planet when they do it.

Übertroll firm bags DRM patent for 3D printing

Re: Fixing stuff

Fixing stuff is is fulfilling.

But wasting stuff is fun

MYSTERIOUS GREEN GLOW seen on iPhone 5s

im sick of apples shit

my iMac keyboard broke after just a year. Different keys fail but they never all work at the same time. They are all physically perfect and work at different times--its completely random--so yeah im quite pissed. And they want £70 for this thing... im going to go and hit an apple employee with it. its very sturdy so it would be good for physically injuring people but its not good for typing.

and now the mail app has stopped working. didnt change nothing. just wont open. Apple products are shit. i bought the iMac because of their monoply on getting the best screens from LG so basically whatever monitor you buy is shit if its not an Apple because LG make them all and Apple buy the top 10% that roll off the production line without faults. except when the ones Apple gets has faults too because they put too much pressure on their suppliers and basically show a total lack of respect.

Boffins baffled: HUGE EYEBALL washes up on Florida beach

i wish i had an eye like that

awesome