* Posts by The Alpha Klutz

636 publicly visible posts • joined 17 Feb 2011

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Report: Apple, Google, Microsoft join forces to buy Kodak patents

The Alpha Klutz

patents are for satan worshippers

if you buy or sell a patent then you should go to prison. thats where you should go. scum.

The best tablets for Christmas

The Alpha Klutz

Re: re-sale value

apple fans are scum on the whole. i am an iMac user but I use it because its a solid PC with a glass fronted screen that I can spit at and wipe clean (eventually, when i can be bothered). when im done with it its going in the skip with the rest of the turds.

The Alpha Klutz

Re:It wasn't even bile filled enough to provoke anger.

i dunno, feelings of butthurt seem to be running high

The Alpha Klutz

Re: Troll symbol

I was going for the Silver, that's why I had to increase the quality of my posts like that.

I just break down modern reality to give my readers the facts

The Alpha Klutz
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Re:change it to a troll symbol

yes!

The Alpha Klutz
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my wife is lucky to get food

The Alpha Klutz
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Re: Asus

yeah but you could say that about any equivalent product.

Acer use the nice cheap plastics that look like shit and fall apart, and for that you save maybe 10% over a correctly built unit from another manufacturer.

Acer are shit.

The Alpha Klutz

tablet computers be shit

soon people are going to realise how shit their life is that even tho they managed to get fucked once or twice, now they sit around with their significant other, using tablet computers and being despicable yuppy scumbags.

the only use for a tablet computer is to be satisified that you are upper middle class enough and/or you have a violent brain disorder that causes you to carry your ipad around in the front seat your range rover or in the glove box with an emergency punnet of organic raspberries.

they have so much money that they have to buy holidays and pretend that theyre having fun and put the pictures on facebook and they will fuck and more yuppies will come out of satan's loins

Stallman: Ubuntu spyware makes it JUST AS BAD as Windows

The Alpha Klutz
Stop

"In your install fests, in your Software Freedom Day events, in your FLISOL events,..."

LOL, I'm not some kinda weirdo....

This page has been left blank intentionally

The Alpha Klutz
Black Helicopters

The name Verity Stob was created by the CIA

look it up

Dozen more cities to get ultrafast broadband cash in gloomy UK budget

The Alpha Klutz

Re: > are there any practical benefits at all??

the stronger as one rhetoric seems great till you see EU nations rolling in cash and conversely other nations killing each-other on the streets for lack of cash. Real strong commitment to the ideals of the EU there.

The Alpha Klutz

some elite a thousand miles away is gunna vote on our broadband

the EU is shit isnt it... i mean are there any practical benefits at all??

Microsoft’s so.cl network now open to all

The Alpha Klutz

rich social media etc

all sounds very trendy.

Is there a website that makes shitty people fun to be around? I doubt it...

McAfee seeks asylum in Guatemala

The Alpha Klutz
Happy

I send all my decoys out on North Korean passports

yes

China plans astro-farms on Mars

The Alpha Klutz

When I get to Mars

I want a BIG house, no Earth scale shit for me next time around thanks!

It's a chance for a fresh start to really treat everyone else like shit. I hope I'm allowed guns on Mars. Get off my lawn!

US and UK spooks alerted over massive Swiss data leak

The Alpha Klutz
Facepalm

first rule of selling state secrets

dont be found setting up shop in your house when you should have been at work looking after the secrets.

Chinese student fails job interview because of iPhone

The Alpha Klutz
Go

the firm was “not looking for students with iPhones”.

fucking yes!

I use the same line on women. I'm not looking for bitches with iPhones!

Forget fluorescents, plastic lighting strips coming out next year

The Alpha Klutz

This is promising

If the claims are true then it pretty much makes all prior lighting systems look like crap. Sort of like upgrading from plastic bags to real shoes.

Operation Hunt the Hunter: Anonymous targets 'revenge porn' man

The Alpha Klutz
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Anonymous characterised Moore as a bully and facilitator of abuse

LOL, savour that irony.

Microsoft braces for Surface RT feedback storm

The Alpha Klutz

Re: Not have had any hands on with the Surface RT I have no personal experience.......

Microsoft will not return items. I got a scratched up disk from them, which i was silly enough to actually open, thereby "agreeing" to give up all my rights by breaking the red sticker they put on the case.

After an hour on the phone saying I can't install Windows from this piece of shit scratched disk you sent me, they made it pretty damn clear that I would have to just pirate it off the internet.

Now I do that first without buying Windows. Treat your customers like shit and they'll return the favour innit

Titsup Windows 8 PayPal payments snare upgraders

The Alpha Klutz

when i want to upgrade

just press the button in the package manager and it does it all for the free price of £0.00

Sex offender wins case against Facebook vigilantism

The Alpha Klutz

"It's hard to believe the ignorance of some people."

These people were never educated. Most of them have low IQs. They probably have no life except buying whatever the adverts in the middle of X Factor tells them to buy. They are efficient and compulsive at not thinking.

Hearts, minds and balls: Microsoft's Windows 8 Surface gamble

The Alpha Klutz
FAIL

A Core i5 to help with graphics? That's a bit of a fail when surely the AMD APUs can easily outperform an i5 on graphics. Maybe their x86 cores are a bit weak compared to Intel's, but why would you need an i5 in a tablet? Are they going to give you 16GB of RAM to run virtual machines as well?

And then you've got the main problem; two Microsoft computers running two different instruction sets, with this fact completely glossed over so you get to decide on the basis of which flavour of Microsoft you want. In other words: Microsoft software is so shit that no one can port it, YOU have to buy two computers instead.

Ten weird Chinese mobile phones

The Alpha Klutz

i want the Ferrari phone

oh wait, no i don't

Windows 8 launch outdoes Windows 7's, says Microsoft bigwig

The Alpha Klutz

its so cheap

that it legitimises all the pirate installs of more expensive older versions

if theyre just gunna make it 15 bucks now, its a bit of a piss take really

TVShack O’Dwyer strikes deal to avoid US extradition

The Alpha Klutz

"they just want to give you a small kick on the bum with a regular shoe...."

Ten technology FAILS

The Alpha Klutz

Re:TV's able to read from inbuilt USB ports.

And the reason they can do that: kick ass Linux based OS

Imagine Microsoft releasing a Plays For Sure TV... you know it would be shit.

Badges for Commentards

The Alpha Klutz
Trollface

its a good thing nobody put any effort into making the badges line up on the page

The Alpha Klutz
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now my life has meaning

ViewSonic Pro 9000 laser hybrid LED projector review

The Alpha Klutz

when its half the size half the price and twice the brightness

call me back

Revealed: Google's manual for its unseen humans who rate the web

The Alpha Klutz

so if you're a sad scumbag with no social links at all you can do this

sums it up

BT.com blats small privacy bug, ignores GAPING HOLE

The Alpha Klutz

the BT website is a monument to functional death

Google, Apple, eBay shouldn't pay taxes - people should pay taxes

The Alpha Klutz

corporate tax should be paid by the people at the top

so everyone in the company earns kinda the same amount overall.

the first rule of pyramids is you can cut the top off and they still work

Just bought an Apple product? Need support NOW? Drop an F-BOMB

The Alpha Klutz
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Re: Almost anything works

I usually say You're a fucking shit robot you couldn't even pass the Turing test you transistorised pansy ass.

Pirate cops bust LITTLE GIRL, take her Winnie-the-Pooh laptop

The Alpha Klutz
Trollface

Re: Fine does not fit the crime

There's a lot of intellectual property in a choccy bar, maybe they should start suing on the grounds of IP infringement lol. Not the actual chocolate bar manufacturer's, but a shady cabal of chocolate bar resellers who claim to act in the public interest and do everything in secret.

The Alpha Klutz
Happy

why does this happen globally in all countries at ounce

because of the global dictatorship.

Pocket Wi-Fi hotspots paralyse Chinese metro lines

The Alpha Klutz

The subway system depends on the unlicensed 2.4GHz band to link up its signalling systems.

LOL

Design guru: Windows 8 is 'a monster' and 'a tortured soul'

The Alpha Klutz
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Re: cpu power consumption

even a Z80 system will stop the CPU clock when its not needed...

Telcos react coldly to renewed UK.gov smut-censoring push

The Alpha Klutz
Megaphone

BTW, If you are old enough to use a keyboard to type out what you want to see, then you should be old enough to see it. It's a simple but profound idea that people don't have a biological switch that changes their brains age 18 so that at midnight its finally safe for them to see sex (having already been doing the nasty for years etc).

authoritarians gunna be authoritarian. If you trust them, human progress will have peaked. If you let us go beyond that shit, we might finally reach new heights of humanity.

The Alpha Klutz

the thing about suicide websites is the audience is entirely self-selecting.

scratch that, the thing about all websites is that the audience is self-selecting.

and that's what these mass media idiots dont understand. when you buy a computer and go online, bad sites aren't the first ones you see, IDIOT. If you want to look at them then YOU want to look at them.

And one kid that finds the site bad might live next door to another kid who gets his whole life meaning from running the site. So have some fucking understanding about how the internet works.

The Alpha Klutz
Megaphone

Let's stop torturing people first, then we can worry about the suicide websites, yeah?

Trying to get these politicians to acknowledge any real issues is just, well, impossible. They come up with these manufactured issues year after year. Nobody questions it. The media just tells people to go along with it and they do. Who is asking for this? Nobody. Where is the grass roots support? Nowhere. How is it being pushed? Top-Down as always. How is it that they get away with this?

Who are you going to vote for? The party that ignores you and does what it wants, but has a red logo, or the same guys but with a blue logo? Who cares?

The Alpha Klutz

Re: and im getting pretty sick of this idea that kids are all so emotionally crippled

the government will do anything they can to protect children but if they're born in the wrong country they just might have to blow their brains out? give me a break

The Alpha Klutz

and im getting pretty sick of this idea that kids are all so emotionally crippled

that the first dodgy porn site they see is gunna have them tying a noose.

its just not the case.

there are children in countries right now having their faces blown into pieces for the fun and profit of those who like doing that shit. you can see the brain pour out of their skulls in some cases. ive seen that shit online and guess what im not dead (i didnt even cry)... but i do have a mistrust of the government brain blowing out of skull politicians. heeeeey there's a thing. I wonder if that could have anything to do with the government pushing this.

The Alpha Klutz

"Do you have any children sir?"

None of your fucking business mate!

David Cameron can suck my dick.

Bah humbug! Google cancels Christmas

The Alpha Klutz

gods representative on earth

I think they should do it again properly

GoDaddy puts gratuitous sexy pics on IT content

The Alpha Klutz

Re: Hmmm...

rather obvious, or rather convenient?

yes govnor the guides site is run by some dodgy defectors we cant track them down doo doodle doo.

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