Posts by The Alpha Klutz

Microsoft sails into Africa with White Spaces and Huawei phones

if you were a rich evil man

would you honestly not do evil things under a media smokescreen that says you do good things? I mean, if you can afford to buy the media, and he can, you can basically tell people anything and they WILL believe it. Because in order to fit in and not seem crazy, everyone has to believe the same lies in the mass media - that's how it works. You could believe any crazy lie you want and it could be such a lie but if its on TV you will still feel so smart and clever about what you "know" and you will go around getting hurt feelings when people point out different.

Data centers to go bonkers over microservers

It gets me thinking. Why would I pay over the odds for a Raspberry Pi that won't ever actually get here when I could design the same chips onto a board minus the crap i dont need, add in the clustering features I do need, and the boards can be manufactured in China and sent over in no time at all. Ok its gunna cost a shit load and I don't actually have the skills to do that. But it's an appealing prospect. <16 low power CPUs on a board is going to end up being cheaper to manufacture than millions of tiny boards. And I want an ethernet switch on every single board, built in.

I don't know why people don't design their own supers.

Design a small circuit board, could be 6 inches square and still have a dozen SoCs connected together on there with some sort of PCB based ethernet. then a power and ethernet connector on the board itself to connect them together. I would try and standardise the voltages needed on the board i.e. only 3 volt components or only 5 volt components or whatever.

Earth-like planets abound in red dwarf systems

Dinosaurs

why would a civilization need to be "advanced" to be worthwhile. I would be more interested in finding the Dinosaur planets tbh.

Imagine a spaceship the size of a 10 storey building landing on a planet full of animals the size of 20 storey buildings. Would that not rock your socks?

First video inside thinking fish's brain captured by boffins

Re: new psychiatric medications - it's not all bad

Sadly yes this is a country where you better not mention your mental illness to anyone if you want to keep your job.

And the attitude to drugs (other than tobacco or alcohol) is poor in general. You tell people you do SSRIs and you get the same reaction as if you told them you do cannabis which again is the same reaction you'd get from saying you do crack cocaine.

The government has set up a framework for the masses to interpret drugs its taken very effectively to the collective unconscious despite its foundation in complete bullshit.

new psychiatric medications

I'll give you a prediction. In 4 years not having a job, or not enjoying your job, will be a condition in the DSM, and you MUST take the drugs that "fix" it. New jobs in 4 years time will be: ditch digging, ditch filling, and also some people will be needed to man the internment camps.

Twitter breach leaks emails, passwords of 250,000 users

Re: OMG! Twitter breached, I posted my life on it, I'm ruined #gulliblesademptytwat

100% of the people who deserve to be hacked.

BBC: What YOU spent on our lawyers in Secret Climate 28 debacle

Re: how can the global elite carbon tax us

yes well the elites know how to manufacture and traffic all sorts of explosives in a very lucrative arms trade that involves selling last years stock to the nations you are then going to bomb with the latest model. very sexy and profitable work if you're a member of the right billionaires' club.

Re: why not a voluntary subscription????

You're obviously not from around here. Let me break down the class system in the UK for you:

1. Working class. These are your chavs. They watch ITV or Sky. They hate the BBC and would never fund it given the choice.

2. Middle class. These are the people with the cranial capacity to understand BBC programming and the main beneficiaries. Also, these people work for the BBC or its subcontractors.

3. Super rich elites. These people don't watch TV and have no stake -- other than controlling the corporations that create news. They control the corporations from which all BBC "journalists" get their press releases, sorry news. They are the gatekeepers.

how can the global elite carbon tax us

if we ever find out that carbon isn't poisonous? It must be kept a secret from us

Bring out your dead: Reg readers reveal filthy, filthy PCs...

Dan Martinelli's machine is clean

shit

Facebook finds new way to wring hundreds from users

lame

hi friend here's my facebook gift card that i got for you please like me

UPnP scan shows 50 million network devices open to packet attack

Presumably

If you disable UPnP in the router, then it doesn't matter if other devices on the network still have it enabled?

If devices want to fruitlessly send SSDP packets around then I don't really care - is it a problem?

Oracle 'fesses up: Java security flaws more than storm in teacup

Do you want me to post all the drive by critical CVEs found in Adobe's products in the last year?

Go ahead. I could use a little gallows humour.

Java

Okay lets get one thing straight. All the smart devs know that Java shops turn out shite. I could earn quite a bit as a Java dev but I don't want to be involved with actively making the world a worse place.

'Gaia' Lovelock: Wind turbines 'may become like Easter Island statues'

building wind farms is literally destroying the planet

can you imagine the environmental damage it will do to decommission these things, after they've killed off all remaining wildlife in the area of course.

nuclears a bit iffy too when these are basically military reactor designs dressed up as power plants. and then we have the cheek to go around other countries saying their reactors are military spec even when they aren't.

So: 6,500 Win 8 laptops later, how are BT's field engineers coping?

Re: I hope this causes the BT staff lots of problems

it would be nice to see them helping people in the first place and not just constantly lying that its their internal wiring.

Re: I hope this causes the BT staff lots of problems

hey ho maybe something bad will happen to you and then I can stroke my chin and say maybe the process fucked you over correctly. maybe it will be something like a disease. yeah.

Re: I hope this causes the BT staff lots of problems

I don't think so. They think they're too good to let me work for them. Well they're not. They take a shit through the same hole as everybody else! but they think they're so much better. They wouldn't know talent if it hit them in the face like a big red telephone box. That's why it's such a horrid place to work and why I'm happy I don't work there and why I think they're all scum. I'm sorry the truth is so painful to you.

I hope this causes the BT staff lots of problems

because they deserve it

Yay for iOS 6.1, grey Wi-Fi iPhone bug is fix- AWW, SNAP

i thought it just worked

They only have like 4 iPhones, the fact that they did not properly test this release on all of them is UNACCEPTABLE. No ifs or buts. It's just unacceptable.

PayPal plugs SQL injection hole, tosses $3k to bug-hunter

Re: PayPal is ...

PayPal has all of the downsides of a bank (fees, charges) and none of the upsides (your money is not safe, can be stolen any time, probably by paypal themselves - leaving you no recourse, nobody at paypal will care or even pretend to care, and you can kiss your money goodbye)

Re: It's not fair..

It's all about shutting down competition and training you that the mega corps run everything. It's about training you that you are not allowed to run your own profitable business. You are not allowed to have your own free thoughts. You are not allowed to challenge the tax dodges of the super rich. Your only option is to serve serve serve them.

Remember, the banking elite have stolen 31 TRILLION in offshore accounts. They could pay off the US national debt and still have more left over than the entire US GDP. But guess who has to pay for THEIR mistakes?

what do you expect

google 'Ebay Mafia'. 10 million results

or 'paypal mafia' 5 million results.

Help us out here: What's the POINT of Microsoft Office 2013?

"With Office 2013 now officially available, is there anything in it actually worth upgrading for?"

Let's look at a complete list of reasons to upgrade shall we:

1. To guarantee compatibly with Microsoft proprietary formats into the future as and when they are changed arbitrarily.

2. Because you hate having money, you could give it to charity, but it turns out you hate charity as well, so you give it to Microsoft

YouTube's hilarious cat videos could soon cost you $5 a month

wtf

I watch Youtube because people like Dave Jones make the excellent EEVBlog and distribute it for free.

I would pay Dave Jones $5 a month but I sure as hell aint giving a penny to Google corp. For that matter, they can choke if they think they're ever getting my real name.

Zuck on it, Google: 'Public' Facebook events are dead to you

Re: Why would anyone want to seach anything on Facebook?

Don't worry about it. These are people who make it to the first ad break and then intentionally wait for the second half of the show to begin.

Re: Why would anyone want to seach anything on Facebook?

if you are a cretinous marketing scumbag, your whole entire job probably consists of typing strings into Facebook search like a monkey on amphetamines all day. It helps if you're the kind of pleb who watches X factor un-ironically. It probably also helps if you wear 3 inches of fake tan so that nobody can see what a visibly horrible person you are.

Re: thriving community for like-minded souls

I used to be a loner but now I've met hundreds of people who use the same bog roll and washing powder.

nothing new

Didn't TBL write a hit piece about data silos years ago. I think he implicated Facebook as the major culprit.

Twas ever thus.

Tablets BEAT DOWN laptops in 4-to-1 Xmas bloodbath - analyst

the problem is people dont know how to buy laptops

they see it costs £250 and buy it, but they didnt realise or care that it has a CELERON chip inside.

When Intel makes the C2Ds then they strip out most of the cache, half the instructions, all the extra cores, drop the clock speed and FSB, then call it a Celeron, and people wonder why their new computer is a piece of shit.

So now, they see the £250 tablet and get that. The CPU is just a shit if not worse but it doesn't have to run WinFail so you at least get a passable computing experience. Which Microsoft can only offer you on the multi-hundred watt systems. 600 or 700 watts is a good Windows PC in my house. My Linux PCs and Macs pull about 30. That's thirty, three zero, not three hundred.

Microsoft tries to sell home Office users on subscription pricing

wtf?

Home users should not pay hundreds of pounds for software that can literally be substituted with any of hundreds of free alternatives. If I find out you are an Office subscriber, that to me is a good indication that your brain was not properly formed. Your mum probably denied you breast milk and fed you MSG every day.

Microsoft builds observatory to spy on Earthlings' spectrum

12 guage tin foil hat will be needed.

How do you expect my BRAIN to function in this radio wave soup? It's all part of DARPAs plan to turn us into robots

Patch often: Cyber-crim toolkits love stinky old gaping holes

Re: is it only AV producers that are singled out?

Yes.

Firewalls are the dogs nuts, and also I give props to the guys maintaining the spam blacklists which are very effective. They are the real heroes. Everyone else is just trying to cash in on the perceived glory.

Anyone can surf the internet looking for viruses and call themselves a security researcher. It's the easiest job in the world.

how much are the AV companies paying you to thumb down my posts

You don't take antiviral drugs every winter do you? No. Why not... you could get a cold and die unless you take your Tamiflu.

But Tamiflu doesn't work and neither does AV software.

I ride around in a pimped out hearse

twin turbo, twin superchargers, 6 litre v12, flames down the side, blasting Breaking The Law by Judas Priest through a row of amps in the dead-body compartment.

WHY would I want to wear a seat belt?

Re: "how many times have I correctly told you that AV software doesn't work"

I think you are having trouble telling the difference between hardware, the laws of physics, your crap car analogy, and software - which is completely different. Try and write a software seatbelt. You are obviously on drugs.

to put it another way

Antivirus software is like putting up special barriers to protect your kids from Michael Jackson and Jimmy Savile long after they're both dead.

how many times have I correctly told you that AV software doesn't work

a lot. but I continue to get thumbed down for pointing out the truth.

It's all a big scam. The AV companies don't write the viruses, but they sure do make a lot of money pushing pointless "fixes" to old viruses that are dead and buried, slowing down your computer, and NOT addressing the real threats of today. Half those virus definitions you care so much about are for old worms from the early 90s, like you would ever catch one anyway. Wake up.

HP launches security service for after the horse has bolted

lol so true

If you are not paying PEOPLE to secure your computers, then your computers are not secure. No software will do it for you. Not even software with cool names and graphics.

Anons hack Asteroids into US DoJ website in Swartz death protest

new world order

20 or 30 years will be a short sentence soon. Just like the private companies making money off litter fines in the news tonight, we are going to see the privatization of the entire police force globally in every country (At the same time). But it's just a coincidence like it always is.

China may axe 13-year console ban, games OK for kids after all

Puzzling

given that all of these consoles are made in China how can they also be banned there?

Boeing 787 fleet grounded indefinitely as investigators stumped

crap batteries

well thats a bit shit then. didnt anyone test the batteries before putting them in the plane. did they just design it out of pure fantasy and speculation then hope it would work... guess so

Waiter! There's a phone in my soup

wtf?

if you are a loser, what you need to do is eat them out of a saucepan while on the PC. putting it in an iPhone bowl isn't any better but it is highly pretentious so actually its worse.

Greedy Sky admits: We crippled broadband with TOO MANY users

Re: the curse of unlimited

you think its silly to download things? I just looked back through a years worth of my bookmarks. Most of the good stuff has been removed. Number of times my own file server has lost data in the last few years? Nill. Thank god for the pirates archiving the good stuff. you may not realise how important it is now but you'll thank us in 30 years when guess who will have all the real juicy stuff when the totalitarian government locks in? us. If you want any good music in 30 years, you will have to beg ME for a copy.

how many clowns can you fit in a VW?

You'd have to be pretty silly to sign up to Sky in the first place....

UK malls use Google in desperate stab at luring shoppers off the web

think mcfly

the jobs are going. theyre never coming back.

Even if we all spent the next thousand years shopping we couldn't create enough taxable income to service the debt.

Dotcom's Mega smacks back: Our crypto's not crap

crypto is intense

i wonder how long it will take to change your password if you have gigs of data?

i dunno because i make a habit of not forgetting my important crypto phrases but there you go....

Mobes, web filth 'pornifying' our kids, warns top Labour MP

...let me put on my Dianne Abbot hat...

Our UK children are being sexualised by militant US pornographers. I am a UK MP, working here, in the UK, fighting for our British and Irish children that live on our UK island together with us. Let me begin by saying that I love all the UK children, in a good way, and will be counting on your votes at the next election. Remember to vote for Labour and the UK children in Ireland and the UK will be safe from internet. I will do it for you and the children.

Foxit outfoxes fiendish flaw to fix foxed-up Firefox PDF plugin

Foxit

I use Foxit but the real point is that diversity is key. if PDF is supposed to be a standard we shouldn't have a monoculture of one single PDF reader. Inevitably it will get bought by a careless profit driven monolith like Adobe and Microsoft who will use it as a platform to start churning out shit.