* Posts by Gareth

61 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Jun 2007


Craigslist shutters 'erotic services' section



Excellent! Doing this will put an end to prostitution. Well done lawmakers.

Ron Howard accuses Pope of scuppering Dan Brown movie



What a snooty article!

Google juices in-photo ads biz


Not all pics, shirley?

Hmm... Why, yes. I *would* like to buy a cup..!

German Mickey Mouse radio snoops on cops



Bugger Apple devices & Phorm's nefariousness - serve us up our 2ewe dish..!

3D laser maths models of women's bodies produced


A nod's as good as a wink

psssh. C'mon Reg, you can't take the moral high-ground on other people's ribald remarks. Where would this great site be if it didn't have its head in the stars and its mind in the gutter...

Microsoft: Vista desktop key to life fulfillment



"a desktop with numerous neat rows of icons means you’re the sort of person" who clicks auto-arrange, shurley..

War, Web 2.0 and the Fail Loop


Bugger neologisms

"I call this place Cyburbia..."

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Pirate Bay supporters ram Swedish IFPI website



Bit of a smear that.

Illegal file sharing, hacking and DDOS attacks are all computer crimes, yesss.. But someone who commits one does not automatically condone the others..

Blogger fights Psion's claim to 'netbook' name



Are going to stand by & take this effrontery? How the hell do you preannounce something?

Surely the fact that you've made *an* announcement makes that The Announcement, and anything subsequent becomes postannouncements.

/me goes for quiet lay down & dried frog pills.

Samsung NC10 netbook



Arrrgghh! I'm very grateful for your reviews, el reg, but can we *please* get photos with a sense of scale in them?

I'm really tired of seeing the same manufacturer provided photos again and repeated showing the laptop/camera/smartphone/teledildonic-leafblower rotating in a white vacuum bereft of any scale comparison. This netbook could be a few nanometers across or the size of the Starship Enterprise. Just one (one!) picture of the shiny thing on your desk as you run the benchmarks would be *so* useful!

Love to your mothers.

Brits find accommodation a little uncomfortable


Dog bites man

It rather brings to mind the image of walrus-mustached old men sitting in a smoky club off Harvey Street complaining that the blasted telegraph has led to a terrible decline in spelling and grammar.

Plus ca change, as the plucky Frenchies would say.

Novell cutting more heads?



"NetWare was the network operating system standard that predated - and was outsold by - Microsoft's Windows NT"

Humyo cloud disappears from afternoon sky


Cloud outage

I'm going to make millions by building a device that guards against inevitable outages by downloading all the data from your cloud repository to a local disk. iCloudstore2.0 - $399 & $29.99 per month.

Apple massages iPhone code



Let me temper this by saying that I do own an iphone.

It's great to have a story telling us that new firmware is out, and what it might fix/featurise, but are the idiot-proof instructions really necessary? When I saw seven (count 'em!) screen shots of a blue-bar creeping along I genuinely thought this was a piss-take article.

Would such an idiotic level of detail accompany a story about a symbian or windows mobile patch?

Who reads The Register?


Why isn't my demographic represented?

I mainly come here to complain about the lack of poll options, and I was disgusted to see that this was not an option in your recent poll.

Thank you, it made my day.

Toshiba NB100 netbook


How big?

Thanks for the review, and could we get a real world picture of these devices on your desk or something? Every pic in the review was *just* the machine. The only way to get some sense of scale is to look at the video port & try to extrapolate..

Start-up promises video-on-phone editing chip


Not the bloody iPhone tho'

Whaa? Hardly a mobe article gets up that doesn't namecheck the iphone in some way, but here it's noticeable by its absence. For all the glory that they get, it's worth repeating that iphones (including mine) can't capture video. It's prolly *won't* rather than *can't*, but nevertheless, a valid point.

LG trumpets 3G wristphone


Would you believe it's a watchphone?

No - but I would believe that's a photoshop.

YouTube 'poisoned baby food' hoaxer pleads guilty



I think this is where we've drawn the line of free speech for quite some time. Whether it's youtube, telegraph or standing in a crowded theatre, makes no difference.

iPhone 3G finally unlocked


@Matthew Brown

To be fair, there aren't many fashion accessories that allow me to easily ssh into my servers.

I'm not saying there aren't a plethora of mobile devices that can do this, but still, hardly just a fashion accessory.

Addonics to strike big with matchbox NAS kit?



Pssh! Is this Slashdot? Over here we read the articles..

From the linked manufacturer's website:

"Once on the network, the USB storage can be shared by any network user, just like an ordinary NAS device."

Hmm.. who to believe - the people that make the device, or some guy on Amazon writing about a different product that looks the same..


Datawind PocketSurfer 2R internet palmtop



I love your reviews - they're informative & realistic.

One thing though - could we get a realworld pic of the review item, say sitting on your desk, or nestled in the bosom of the brazilian maid who serves the Reg cocktails & cocaine..? (Javier, I think he's called.)

Shuttle X27D



"..as most models use regular desktop parts. The tiny X27D chassis only measures 250 x 185 x 70mm and uses a laptop hard drive and optical drive.."

That'll be a regular desktop laptop hard drive then..

Unseen touchscreen Nokia leaked



"the UI looks nothing like those on modern-day Nokia phones"

Yes, but it does look familiar. Large touch screen.... finger swipe interaction... Ooooh, it's on the tip of my wossname..

IBM takes on VMware virtual desktop



"Virtual printing"...? What's that then? File > Print Preview?

Down the Digital River, into the heart of download darkness


To the complaining prudes

Intercourse Off.

Why is information delivery so bloody hard?



I'd say it's so hard to manage information because digitization and computer management is the obvious solution to the problem and yet (and excuse me while I whip out my broad brush) most upper managers, the very people who hold/grip/hide and could use the information are the kind of people who, when presented with a sophisticated database of 3,000 pdfs, all neatly collated and OCR'd, would ask their secretary to print them all out for him because he "can't be bothered with reading all of that on a screen."

Vuzix iWear AV230 XL video glasses



"Today, we're looking at - literally"

Do we assume that you do not - literally - look at the other review devices...?

(Sorry - it's going to be one of those days)

Miscreants hijacking machines via (freshly patched) Adobe flaw


Upgrade scripts

Hmm. Helpful, lads.

This is a quickie script I'm using to update client pcs:

Download the standard version of Reader 9 (without Adobe Air) from:

ftp://ftp.adobe.com//pub/adobe/reader/win/9.x/9.0/enu/ AdbeRdr90_en_US_Std.exe

then you can script this silent install overnight or something:

AdbeRdr90_en_US_Std.exe /sAll /rs /l /msi /qb- /norestart

I use psexec to kick it off on each PC.

For more thorough scripts, check out http://www.appdeploy.com/packages/detail.asp?id=1328

Swedish transsexuals offered prosthetic todgers



It's nice to see transsexuals finally getting the shaft..

Dead boffins deflate the cloud


Too sick

"Alan Turing paused from gnawing on an apple"


Hands on with Sony's slimline Vaio TT



"during our time with the machine, Windows Vista reported a forecast runtime of just under four hours"

...Thorough testing. We've heard of it.

AVG tags ZoneAlarm as Trojan


Oh my god

Are we really going to let the comments "flagged as +ves" and "The intrusions caused are a -ve" go unchallenged? This isn't youtube, I'll have you know..

Firm threatens action against CCTV whistleblower


Hack...? Wha...?

How is this a hack? The cameras, if not configured with security details, publish themselves on the public internet, saying "Cooo-ee boys! Look at me!" This guy merely said "Hey - here's how you can find them with a simply Google search."

It's like, say I had this car, and the..... Oh buggerit - no bad analogies needed - it's just simply not a hack.

Reg server and chip hack molested by Gray Lady



Cor blimey.. Best of british luck in the Windy Big Smokey Apple, Ash.

Google penetrates fake sex world with Lively


Lively discussion...?

More of a mass debate, I fear..

Cardiff 'copter coppers give chase to UFO



here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/7471724.stm

It was floaty, hot air balloon-type lanterns set off by wedding guests.

Fire at The Planet takes down thousands of websites


Like a Parisian courtesan

Firefox can't establish a connection to the server at www.b3ta.com.

Firefox can't establish a connection to the server at


Phoenix Mars website invaded by hackers



"Red is the color of the Martian surface, but it seems it also describes the faces of security pros responsible for the sites"


F1 chief seeks French ban on orgy video


Collective nouns

"P.S. Anyone know the collective noun for a group of paid-for-lovelies?"

I guess it would be 'a scandal of whores'.

Scientist warns against technology addiction



Of course I'm not in denial..!

My gadgets would get wet.

HP pays off reporters it spied on



Ah, lovely.. American justice.

"Free to those who can afford it,. but very expensive to those who can’t."

Sun nails four buyers in 15 months with White Trash Data Center


re: Better clarify that "wifebeater" comment


It was the MacBook Air sub-notebook


re: so what's it going to COST

Maybe it wasn't there when you read the article, but it says at the end: £1199.

By my reckoning, that's enough for an eePC AND a plane ticket to travel to whichever beach that model hangs out on.

Acer gives Dell notebook business a kicking


re: Apple anybody?

I think apple users were accidentally missed out from the survey because they're such quiet, modest people that nobody knew they used macbooks...

NZ bans Brit immigrant's overweight missus



here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=494616&in_page_id=1770&ct=5

And remember, if you can't say anything nice...

eBay glitch wipes out 11 year-old account without a trace


2 winner glitch

Yeah - I had a fun glitch recently. I listed one item, and ebay let two people buy it using buy-it-now. So I had a payment from each of them, each of whom thought they'd won.

I had to spend my own money refunding the difference, & ebay has been USELESS in helping me. They say they're not responsible for "interruptions of service" & refuse to budge. Ebay? Ebastards more like...

Phoenix hijacks Windows boot with instant-on


re: More nostalgia...

"...for Logo"

Ahhh yes. I used to love those little bricks...

VC legend Perkins regrets HP debacle and taunting the poor


RE: Re: RE:RE: Pimped

_Buying_ DVDs, Ash? You must be on Comcast. :-)

Funnyman-loving Facebookers mock US prez race


Patronise much?

I disagree with the rather snobby tone of the article. I see this event as a leading sign of America's youths being disenfranchised with politics. With the last 3 presidents being a Clinton, 2 Bush's, and another Clinton trying to get in, is it any wonder. One only has to look at King Dubya's reign & his peculiar election irregularities to see why the (largely) young facebook crowd have given up on participating in politics, and prefer those who mock it.

It was missed in the dismissive article, but this (allegedly) fastest growing facebook group wasn't about a pop group, an actor, or chimpanzees touching themselves, it was supporting an often intelligent political satirist.