* Posts by Thomas Steven 1

53 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Dec 2010


BOFH: What a beautiful tinfoil hat, Boss!

Thomas Steven 1

Re: Blockers

I thought they were peril sensitive and absolutely necessary for dealing with the ravenous bugblatter beast of the planet Traal, a creature so stupid that it believes that if you can't see it, it can't see you.

BOFH: Good news, everyone – we're in the sausage business

Thomas Steven 1

Re: gigaspandrels

All hail Daoloth

US Senators take Meta to task for releasing LLaMA AI model after token safety checks

Thomas Steven 1

Personaly I suspect that senators Blumenthal and Hawley are a pair of whiny pissants who need to fill a bunch of dead air in order to get reelected at some point. Models will be used and abused regardless. Genie out of bottle, horse bolted etc etc.

Programming error created billion-dollar mistake that made the coder ... a hero?

Thomas Steven 1

Now we have Entity Framework and LINQ for writing a few lines of code to make huge inefficient garbage calls to SQL Server databases

World's richest man posts memes as $44b Twitter acquisition veers off course

Thomas Steven 1

Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

I feel like I bought too much popcorn and this shitshow could be over by the end of the month. Probably the fastest bonfire of $44bn in history. The way Twitter is haemorrhaging staff, I honestly can't see how it can continue to exist for much longer.

China to crush secondary market providing forbidden gaming accounts to kids

Thomas Steven 1

Re: Modus operandi

I'll see your 'War on Drugs' and raise you a 'War on Terror'

Hey – how did you get in here? Number one app security weakness of 2021 was borked access control, says OWASP

Thomas Steven 1

Re: Needs to be announced to music

I'd personally go with https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

D'oh! Misplaced chair shuts down nuclear plant in Taiwan

Thomas Steven 1

Who Me? in ten years time

Dave, for that is certainly not his name was working in a power plant in Taiwan on the fateful morning in question As early mornings in a nuclear power plant are quiet, the crew's management had instituted a cleaning regimen, ostensibly in the name of building team morale and keeping everyone awake. The crew suspected that much of the cleaning effort was also aimed at keeping the reactor control room looking as new as possible because the operators wanted to get their operating license, which was due to expire in 2023, extended for a further five years, and were running a PR campaign to achieve just that.

Of course what was really happening was that a bunch of tired control room operators were lacklusterly going through the motions when the inevitable happened...

Thanks, boss. The accidental creation of a lights-out data centre – what a fun surprise

Thomas Steven 1

Re: Access denied

The only thing better than learning from your mistakes is learning from somebody else's mistakes.

I work therefore I ache: Logitech aims to ease WFH pains with Ergo M575 trackball mouse

Thomas Steven 1

Never found a replacement for the Trackman Marble FX T-CJ12

Used to love my Marble FX. Had 2, then Logitech stopped making them and never produced as good a trackball since. I used to love the way you could flick the mouse across multiple screens and stop it at exactly the spot you wanted. Also awesome for FPS gaming as you could spin round much quicker than most other players and aim precisely with it. All the subsequent thumb operated trackballs produced a far less satisfactory experience IMO.

I'm a trackball evangelist too, just the best trackball ever made stopped being made a long time ago.

Flying camera drones, cuddly Echo gadgets... it's all a smoke screen for Amazon to lead you gently down the Sidewalk – and you'll probably like it

Thomas Steven 1

Re: It helps to have the world's wussiest burglar break into your house...

Unfortunately if your rottie grabs a burglar and hangs on to him by the leg for 3 hours, doing minimal damage to the burglar, the law seems to take the view that your dog is dangerous and should be put down, and the burglar gets off scot free because of his 'ordeal'. Of course your family pet being murdered in the course of its duties doesn't count as an 'ordeal'. Best to have a plan for disposing of burglars properly.

Uncle Sam to blow millions on getting fusion power finally working – with the help of AI

Thomas Steven 1

Re: But how long will it take to get there?

I reckon that we would have abandoned nuclear fusion research decades ago, if it wasn't for the giant fusion ball in the sky that keeps telling everyone that this technology does work. All science has to do is miniaturise it a little bit. Apparently miniaturizing what the sun does is not as simple as shrinking transistors.

Global network controlled by erratic billionaire Qracks down on Qanon Qranks

Thomas Steven 1

Illegal how?

Facebook - their platform, their rules surely. You might not like their rules, but you're free to use any other platform that will have you, or even set up your own.

USA decides to cleanse local networks of anything Chinese under new five-point national data security plan

Thomas Steven 1

Clean Path...

This sounds like part of somebody's jobs list for the weekend has escaped onto a work document. Time to fire the intern!

China to slice internet connection costs for locals as part of plan to rebound from recent unpleasantness

Thomas Steven 1


5G/Covid conspiracy theorists don't have 'minds' to speak of, theirs have all been irradiated away by 3G and 4G signals already.

Is this an ASP.NET Core I see before me? Where to next for Microsoft's confusing web framework...

Thomas Steven 1

I think "EF driven hellish wasteland of something little better than SELECT *" is incredibly kind

Trying to disentangle the hellscape of nested selects and correlated subqueries that EF creates to figure out what it's actually trying to do, and turn it from a 4000ms horror that requires 30% of the system's entire resources to a sub millisecond query that you can show to a developer and say 'make it do that', only to be told it can't makes EF the bane of the lives of anyone who has to tend a database that's been around for more than a couple of years. EF looks like not merely a marketing tool for SQL Server, but a means of ensuring that the number of licenses required to run a given database is increased by orders of magnitude, and the costs of running a database with more licenses than it needs for years is likely to outstrip the cost of teaching developers how to write a decently optimized bit of SQL.

I suspect that the developers who use EF are long gone by the time someone operations realizes that the business is being bankrupted by their database and some poor DBA is told it needs to be looked into.

Ofcom measured UK's 5G radiation and found that, no, it won't give you cancer

Thomas Steven 1

electromagnetic hypersensitivity

I assume one of the symptoms "electromagnetic hypersensitivity" is that you're a twat

Delayed, over-budget smart meters will be helpful – when Blighty enters 'Star Trek phase'

Thomas Steven 1

Re: "when we move to the Star Trek phase..."

More like the Brazil phase

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight

Thomas Steven 1

Lambs to the slaughter...

TSB goes TITSUP: Total Inability To Surprise Users, Probably

Thomas Steven 1

Is TSB a canary

Are all the other banks equally awful, and the TSB is just the first to properly fall over?

For all anyone knows, most banking systems are held together with gaffer tape and bailer twine. TSB has had issues doing upgrades, are they just the first to try to modernize their systems, and at some point all the banks are going to have similar issues.

Amazon meets the incredible SHRINKING UK taxman

Thomas Steven 1

This is just a non-problem isn't it

Politicians look at company profits

Politicians see big numbers

Politicians want to get hands on company money

Politicians can't because of the laws only politicians can change

Politicians tell company it's doing it wrong

Politicians leave law alone because they are all doing the same as big company, they're just not as good at running their affairs as big company, which is why they're in politics.

Those who can't go into politics where they shout loudly that those who can shouldn't or something

Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

Thomas Steven 1

Oliver Cromwell?

Surely Ely is better known as the birthplace of Andrew Eldritch?

British Crackas With Attitude chief gets two years in the cooler for CIA spymaster hack

Thomas Steven 1

CWA man in Cooler after CIA Spook Cyber Caper

Sorry, just what came to mind when I saw this story

Don’t fight automation software for control, just turn it off. FAST

Thomas Steven 1

Yeah, I'm waiting for self driving vehicles. I want mine with no windows, and certainly not to front or rear, as I presume they will be millimeters apart. I want a toilet, shower, kitchen, couch and TV, and I intend to use one or all of them on the way to work. I expect that once out of urban areas nothing other than gentle braking or acceleration will be required because there won't be any idiots either pedestrian or other drivers.

I expect my commute to work, should I choose to accept it to be quite pleasant, of course, with a few other additions, I might seriously consider not needing the house.

I also expect that it will go off and get itself serviced while I'm at work, otherwise, why the hell is it autonomous. Perhaps if it can pick stuff up from B&Q and the supermarket while I'm at work as well...

15 'could it be aliens?' fast radio bursts observed in one night

Thomas Steven 1

Doesn't powering down active Alcubierre-White propulsion produce something akin to this

Is it possible that a FRB could be an Alcubierre-White warp drive equipped spacecraft skipping through space/time and taking breaks every 15 minutes to make minimally destructive progress around a galaxy.


Why is it that geeks' favourite enemies are... other geeks?

Thomas Steven 1

Surely it's because only other geeks can be worthy adversaries

There's no point in taking on clueless users. They are not worthy adversaries.

Today is a good day to die. Qapla'

Google bins white supremacist site after it tries to host-hop away from GoDaddy

Thomas Steven 1

Nazis love diversity

I take issue with '...albeit against opponents whose position on diversity is to insist there be none'

Nazis love diversity.

There's the Nazis (they call themselves us)

and then there's:

There's everybody who is black

There's everybody who is Jewish

There's the Communists

There's everybody who is Gay

There's the gypsies

There's the Catholics

There's the Freemasons

There's everybody who disagrees with them

There's everybody who isn't white

Britons ambivalent about driverless car tech, survey finds

Thomas Steven 1

Yes, can I spec my self driving car

I want a shower, a toilet and a sofa/bed and TV and a wardrobe.

I don't want windows.

Make my journey to work perfect.

Fall out of bed and into the car. Perform 3 Ss in car. Get dressed in car. Arrive at work.

Drive me with no heavy braking or acceleration to allow the above to happen.

On way home catch up on TV/internet

Sleep in car if necessary/fallen out with wife/car's better than my house

London Mayor slams YouTube over failure to remove 'shocking' violent gang vids

Thomas Steven 1

Re: Why doesn't the Met do something useful with these videos

No, its not trivial, its their job.

If what is happening in the video isn't a crime then why are they whining about it? If it is a crime then they should be doing their job. My guess is that there is very little glory in doing your job and a whole lot of looking like you're doing something while achieving virtually nothing in pointing fingers at YouTube in press conferences.

If they did their job and then demanded the video was taken down after the miscreants were behind bars, then all well and good, or even better demanded it was taken down and replaced with a re-edited version, perhaps highlighting the characters and their fates.

'Sean Dickwad, seen here making gun gestures at Petey Arsehole, 10 years for dickwaddery',

'Petey Arsehole, here recorded saying he is going to kill Dickwad and his gang, 5 years for aggravated arsehole'

Pour encourager les autres.

Ditto extremist/sexist/racist/homophobic inciting violence blah blah blah video.

Thomas Steven 1

Why doesn't the Met do something useful with these videos

Like identifying these people from the video

Like identifying the crimes of these people from the video

Like using the video as evidence to arrest these people

Like using the video as evidence to convict these people

Perhaps showing how they use the video to identify these people, identify their crimes, secure an arrest and conviction, perhaps even in their own video. Instead of whining about videos glamorizing gang violence that they want taken down, how about leaving them up with a counter video showing how the police are doing their fricking job and rounding up and arresting the kind of idiot that makes a Youtube video like that.

Oh, that's right, the above looks like work and a proper job, whereas bitching at YT about the video being up in the first place just involves firing off a couple of emails and a press conference, about how they can't protect the children unless censorship.

'OK, everyone. Stop typing, this software is DONE,' said no one ever

Thomas Steven 1

Re: If you're into tool porn...

Yay for Festool yes, yes, yes! And railsaws Yes!

I still haven't found what I'm malloc()ing for: U2 tops poll of music today's devs code to

Thomas Steven 1

Which songs?

Where the streets have node names?

Two leading ladies of Europe warn that internet regulation is coming

Thomas Steven 1

there is clearly confidence that something solid will result.

Most likely a huge grogan that won't flush.

All that free music on YouTube is good for you, Google tells music biz

Thomas Steven 1

Most artists only make between 0 and 3 things I want to hear

I find most musicians (around 99.99999%) produce 0 things I ever care about hearing ever.

Of the rest, I believe that most will make 1-3 tracks I would care for.

I have tried Spotify and will never move off their free tier because their discovery algorithm is pants. You liked something by artist X. Other users liked something by artist X. Those users also liked Y. You will like Y. Complete tosh. I spend my entire time trying to vote off the shit tracks by artist X that seem to be the primary handle for feeding me more dreadful shite by artist Y.

If their algo worked closer to track level it might help, but I've never seen any evidence, and 6 downvotes a day may not be enough to benchmark with, but I'm not prepared to even think of paying for a crap algo.

I used to spend a fair amount of time tuning Nokia's Mixradio so it didn't produce crap, but at least it could be tuned.

Youtube can't be tuned at all, but it's about as good as Spotify without the frustration because at least it's honest and doesn't make any grandiose algorithmic claims that are clearly BS.

Franken-firm DXC Technology is born today, the fun begins...

Thomas Steven 1


This sounds like a day of torture for these poor souls.

Any event at work where 'fun' is compulsory is what we used to call funishment.

Russia, China fight UN effort to extend human rights onto the internet

Thomas Steven 1

Re: @Hstubbe Theresa May

It may be imprudent to imagine a politician can't be all bad. Maybe she wants something worse.

The underbelly of simulation science: replicating the results

Thomas Steven 1

Re: and this is called chaos theory...

I believe the country you mentioned is called something like the Caliphate and is currently being set up in the odds and ends of other countries such as Syria. If you want a place run on naive idealistic principles, it looks pretty good.

UK needs comp sci grads, so why isn't it hiring them?

Thomas Steven 1

I love developing

When I was at school 'computer whatever' wastaught by maths teachers. Unfortunately most of the time software development is about problem solving not maths (not directly). Unfortunately if you give teaching computing to maths teachers they tend to teach mostly maths'n'computers. When I was 11 I wanted to do software, so I didA levels in history, politics and english lit and a philosophy degree. Still developing software 30 years later because I didn't let some arse spoil it for me.

If I need maths I can read, and I still read more than most of my colleagues on a daily basis..

Sat TV biz Dish: I'm not an authorized iPhone repairer ... but $20 is $20

Thomas Steven 1

I'll raise you 'genius'

Apple, using the word "Genius" very liberally and loosely....

Get yer newspeak ere

Data-thirsty mobile owners burn through 5GB a month

Thomas Steven 1

Same here

I was on £15pcm tariff with unlimited data (no idea about calls and texts as I don't use them) and they have just sent me a letter saying they're going to put me on a £30pcm tariff based on my usage. There's a £20 tariff with unlimited data and less calls and texts (which I don't use anyway).

The old plan had unlimited tethering and the new one has tethering capped at 12Gb. Not happy about that either, even if I wasn't hitting anywhere near the cap. Personally I think this seems diametrically at odds with their current advertising campaign.

What the Investigatory Powers Bill will mean for your internet use

Thomas Steven 1

I'm already subject to a MiTM attack at work

My workplace already has a MiTM attack vs HTTPS installed. Blue Coat https://bto.bluecoat.com/webguides/proxysg/65/acceleration/Content/01Concepts/ssl_proxy_co.htm.

'One of the functions of the SSL proxy is to emulate server certificates; that is, present a certificate that appears to come from the origin content server (OCS). '. Oh dear.

Ironically these clowns call themselves a security company and my employer appears to have lapped it up. I guess whatever passes through this can be 'requested' by the security services and they don't have to do any work at all.

11 MILLION VW cars used Dieselgate cheatware – what the clutch, Volkswagen?

Thomas Steven 1

Re: "Wide Open Throttle"

Or just piss into the urea bottle? In which case it's cheap and plentiful, possibly reduces water usage. An environmental win/win

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Thomas Steven 1

Computer plays snake

Plods waste millions keeping their arses covered and ears open

Thomas Steven 1

Not this perennial nonsense again

This kind of nonsense gets peddled annually about government procurement.

Firstly, separate police forces procure separately. If you want everyone to get the same price then procure centrally for all police everywhere.

Procuring centrally for all police everywhere doesn't take account of the operational circumstances of the various forces. For all I know North Yorks police need more powerful and therefore more expensive radios because points of contact are few and far between whereas City of London coppers communicate over much shorter distances, consequently a central procurement setup still doesn't really solve the problem.

For everything that can be bulk bought you have the risk that your bulk buying creates a monopoly supplier that can supply the volume but puts every other possible supplier out of business, and ultimately the price of the goods goes up.

There are probably savings to be made, but what is achievable is usually far below what this kind of naive paper exercise would suggest. One size does not, unfortunately, fit all.

Dying cipher suites are stinking up TLS with man-in-the-middle vulns

Thomas Steven 1

Why bother

There's a huge, apparently legitimate market in in-house man in the middle attacks. Yes, Blue Coat I'm looking at you. The instant there's one compromise on the network that's regarded as legitimate then you can't really expect users to start to be bothered if there are two. They all look equally legitimate.

It's still a man in the middle attack, even if you can ring him and have him tell you with a straight face that it isn't.

Creationist: The Flintstones was an accurate portrayal of Dino-human coexistence

Thomas Steven 1

Re: Derr.....

So Mr Ham only needs to produce a Babel fish and we can stop sneering at him.

hive mind informs climate change believers and sceptics

Thomas Steven 1

Re: Shocked

The only worthy sacrifice is a blood sacrifice, and the most worthy blood sacrifice is a human sacrifice

Cicada 3301: The web's toughest and most creepy crypto-puzzle is BACK

Thomas Steven 1

Re: For fun.

A lone funman?

False widow spiders in guinea pig slaughter horror

Thomas Steven 1

Mummy Mummy I haven't fed the guinea pigs for a week and now three of them won't wake up...

More likely little Jonny was supposed to be 'responsible' for the animals, didn't look after them and they died. Spiders moved in post mortem to exploit the available space.

Reg readers! You've got 100 MILLION QUID - what would you BLOW it on?

Thomas Steven 1

Pah 100 million

If I had 100 billion I would have Antarctica sawn off at the bottom and towed into the Pacific ocean. All the ice would melt and the seas would rise, wiping out Manhattan, coastal China and low-lying European states economically crippling the only powers that could take me on. I would then build my clone army and start kidnapping scientists to build my laser shield and shark mounted laser technology. While they're at it, some late Cretaceous land/sea animals wouldn't go amiss.