* Posts by caffeine addict

903 posts • joined 6 Jun 2007

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Remember the Dutch kid who stuck his finger in a dam to save the village? Here's the IT equivalent

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: El Reg weights and measures soviet

The ohnominute is about 42 ohnoseconds, and an ohnohour is about 23 ohnominutes, based on perceived time?

RuneScape bloke was wrongly sacked after reading veep's salary details on office printer

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: This is why...

I worked there about five or six years ago (for the death knells of Tranformers).

All staff had RFID cards which let you through doors (when the fingerprint sensors broke. again.), paid for food in the canteen, and logged you in to the printers so the only person who can print your document is you. So, if it's been left on the printer, it's either because you are an idiot, or you saw that the printer had run out of paper and you were too much of a git to replenish it.

1Password hopes to cross some items off its todo list with help from $200m in venture capital

caffeine addict Silver badge

Integration into an Android browser would be good.

Or maybe nice a nice wrapper for the chrome rendering engine...

Astroboffins capture video of Mercury passing across the Sun's surface

caffeine addict Silver badge

I assume it happens so irregularly due to some quirk of our respective orbital angles? (is that obliquity of the ecliptic? I never can remember my Vangelis...)

Boffins don bad 1980s fashion to avoid being detected by object-recognizing AI cameras

caffeine addict Silver badge

I'm surprised it recognised either of them, considering how blurry their faces are.

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: razzle dazzle

Razzle camouflage would be very different.

And probably largely useless unless you wanted to hide in the seedier parts of the newsagents...

You'e yping i wong: macOS Catalina stops Twitter desktop app from accepting B, L, M, R, and T in passwords

caffeine addict Silver badge

I mean, that's literally the joke in the headline...

caffeine addict Silver badge

Well, "hei auseen", anyway...

It's back: The mercifully normal-looking Moto 360 smartwatch

caffeine addict Silver badge

"All day battery"?

I should bloody hope so. My Huawei Watch GT lasts 7 days between charges.

Play Huawei... for now: Firm aims Googletastic Honor 9X at young 'uns

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Unfortunately for Honor/Huawei...

Considering how anyone sane puts a case on their phone, I wonder why they insist on making backs fragile, and thinking we'd rather have 2mm shaved off the depth rather than having a more usable battery.

My Nokia8 is an insanely svelte feeling 7mm thick. Which goes up to 17mm when it goes into a top-grain leather case. An extra 3mm would fit in a lot more mAhs.

But I guess that's a rant for a different article...

What simultaneously sucks and doesn't? This new robot vacuum cleaner

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Now THIS is the way an advert should be!

I thought it was just a puff piece...

Sod 3G, that can go, but don't rush to turn off 2G, UK still needs it – report

caffeine addict Silver badge

The Cambridgeshire village of Papworth Everard (that which used to have the hospital) isn't "rural", but it doesn't have reliable 2G, 3G or 4G.

Here's an idea. Make it so that we can "roam" in our own bloody country. As soon as Vodafone drops out, let my phone automatically switch to EE. Or whatever. And make the telco pay a decent charge to the new provider as punishment for having a shit network.

Junior minister says gov.UK considering facial recognition to verify age of p0rn-watchers

caffeine addict Silver badge

Who needs porn when you can watch this clusterf*ck?

I look forward to the inevitable news that this facial recognition system keeps watching after you are verified and the government has accidentally created a vast repository of self pleasure. Including lots of people under 18 years of age. Maybe the home office could arrest itself.

I discovered the world's last video rental kiosk and it would make a great spaceship

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: ArtJl - old fires

Those lamps are rather impressive. I can see myself spending way too long on eBay this afternoon...

caffeine addict Silver badge

Oh. that kind of movie...

UK culture sec hints at replacing TV licence fee, defends encryption ban proposals and her boss in Hacker House inquiry

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Yes please...

I have "the means" - a bendy metal thing on the roof, some cable, and a TV.

I don't have the cable connected to the TV, or the TV tuned.

This means I don't need a license. By law.

(also - the pillock above us waffling about guns is a pillock)

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Yes please...

Why? I get one "you aren't being naughty, are you?" letter a year. Only time they've ever turned up in 18 years license-free, I showed them a roll of coax behind the TV as proof it had no feed. They left happy.

I used to watch iPlayer til they changed the rules. Now I occasionally watch Only Connect at a friend's house. Don't miss anything else.

caffeine addict Silver badge

I'm constantly bemused that no-one seems to remember that free licenses for over 75s only became a thing in 1999.

Can't help thinking that they ought to be free to anyone under a certain income threshold. My grandfather's civil service pension used to be more than my salary as an IT professional, but he was entitled to a free license. :/

This fall, Ubuntu 19.10 stars as Eoan Ermine in... Dawn of the Stoats

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Someone hit the publish button a bit early?

"It will get released when it's ready"

I'd like to hope it was ready before the press release went out.

What am I saying? Hell, most of the big boys don't manage to get it ready until days after release...

Oh dear... AI models used to flag hate speech online are, er, racist against black people

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: “I saw his ass yesterday”

The other words in the text, the history of the person posting, the audience

That simply means that someone who is consistently racist doesn't get flagged as racist...

The safest place to save your files is somewhere nobody will ever look

caffeine addict Silver badge
Joke

Not "documents" as such...

C:\Documents and Settings\Dad\My Documents\faxes\sent faxes\

*ahem*

Ah, the days when Windows didn't secure people's user directories and we had to resort to trying to hide our... "downloads".

Microsoft has made an Android phone. Repeat, Microsoft has made an Android phone. A dual-screen foldable mobe not due until late 2020

caffeine addict Silver badge

Forget the 360 hinges - if they can make it 180 with edge to edge screens then (IMO) they have a better product than Samsung of Huawei.

I still wouldn't buy it though. My Nokia8 is a fantastic machine for sod all money. I just wish they'd make it a couple of mm thicker and double the battery size, but that's the same for all modern devices.

Astroboffins baffled after spotting solar system with great gas giant that shouldn't exist

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: The standard model of planet formation

Elements. Not gasses. Damnit.

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: The standard model of planet formation

Presumably that would mean it's almost entirely made of the same material as stars (H, He) rather than more complex gasses. That should be testable, no?

caffeine addict Silver badge

the maximum distance between both bodies is about twice as close as the Earth is to the Sun

What, exactly, is this supposed to mean? Do you mean half as far away?

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise, politicians will philander... And US voting machines will be physically insecure

caffeine addict Silver badge

You're not allowed to give results of exit polling until after the polls have closed either. Think it was last election an MP got in trouble for reporting exit polls early.

caffeine addict Silver badge

Jesus, you've only got five times the population of the UK. You're not China or India.

Admittedly, it might be a challenge finding enough people who can count high enough.

caffeine addict Silver badge

In any fair system, no votes are counted until the polls close.

In the UK everything is done on paper with a thick black pencil and we have the results in within 12h of the polls closing.

Time to check in again on the Atari retro console… dear God, it’s actually got worse

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Fools and their money...

That looks like a real product with real movement, albeit late.

I don't get why ROMs have the whole loading stage though. Surely, with the speed of SDCards compared to tape, they shouldn't have any of the loading modem noises.

The Wun Show: Douglas Crockford has been sniffing JavaScript's bad parts again

caffeine addict Silver badge

I've been doing this job for 20 years and often had DC's name flung at me without ever bothering to find out *why* he's considered the one true authority on JS.

It does worry me when people decide that any one way is the only way, and the fact that he's just one bloke who happens to be smart and happens to have looked under the hood early on makes me wonder about the logic of buying into the cult. Obviously there's a lot of sense in the DC-ish way of doing things, but there are other religions that have the same general rules. IYSWIM.

EU court rules Right To Be Forgotten doesn't apply outside member states

caffeine addict Silver badge

So... what counts as "inside the EU"?

It can't be a matter of location, or else google could/would argue that its servers are outside the EU and therefore exempt.

It can't be the domain, or else everyone would use a .com domain and claim to be exempt from EU laws.

It can't be the location of the visitor, or else the EU would argue that all Google domains are covered, but only from EU IP addresses.

Look, we know it feels like everything's going off the rails right now, but think positive: The proton has a new radius

caffeine addict Silver badge

You're so desperate to make everything a Brexit joke you're even willing to mix your units? Do you have no standards?

Mind, if the Daily Mail has it's way I guess we won't have any standards either. We'll end up using those Imperial things like the Americans...

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Huh?

You probably have to get it really cold to stop it moving around too much.

( I've just realised my 'joke' may actually be true. In which case that's what I meant. )

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Shifting a lamb

So... an aniseed ball that is the size of Uranus's orbit and a proton the size of an aniseed ball?

My head hurts.

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Shifting a lamb

if the ewe is in the barn or under a bloody hedge

The answer is always "under a bloody hedge".

For such stupendously stupid animals, they have a real knack for knowing how to make life difficult for people trying to help them.

OK, let's try that again: Vulture rakes a talon on Samsung's fresh attempt at the Galaxy Fold 5G

caffeine addict Silver badge

How bloody much?

£1,900? Really? Fecking hell...

My daily driver car cost less than that to buy and I'm much more confident it will still be running in 5 years time.

I mean, who looked at the latest iPhone and thought "you know what? That looks a bit cheap to me..."

Big bang theory: Was mystery explosion over New York caused by a meteor? Dunno. By a military jet? Maybe...

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: military aircraft ...

The noise of the plane and the sonic boom aren't really related. Otherwise bullets would be silent in flight. :)

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: military aircraft ...

This is what I was trying to work out. Presumably any of those could break their rated ceiling on a balistic trajectory, but you'd presumably have heard the boom over a wider area as it would have been supersonic on the approach.

The reporting makes it sound like it was a boom in a relatively localised area, which only leaves rocks, doesn't it?

With nothing non-military going above about 50,000ft I assume that radar doesn't track those heights? Or is all tracking at that height transponders anyway?

Allowlist, not whitelist. Blocklist, not blacklist. Goodbye, wtf. Microsoft scans Chromium code, lops off offensive words

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Coffee without milk?!

Inside a civet?

caffeine addict Silver badge

Have you got a cite? The only references I can ever find are references to the story, not the event*. The only thing I see actually stating one way or the other is The Socialist Worker, but that doesn't do anything other than say "LIE".

* which likely means it *is* a legend.

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Coffee without milk?!

This would be the programmer's answer, I agree. It's concise and complete.

But to the general population, the response "coffee" is followed by a question about milk.

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Programming and computers as a casualty

As long as we can keep our flanges...

caffeine addict Silver badge

I doubt it's genuine, but there was a story that in the 1990s Islington (?Harringey) council tried to ban "black coffee", preferring "coffee without milk"

Good news Flash lovers! Microsoft won't be disabling it by default (so long as you use IE or old Edge)

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Banks

The only reason for Flash to be a better option for compatibility in the last ten years is Microsoft and its stupid habit of tying IE versions to OS releases. If IE6, IE7, IE8 and even IE9 had been upgradable to the latest versions the whole world of compatibility would have been massively easier.

That and all the activex bllcks that meant some companies (looking at you big banks) hung on to old OSes for waaaay too long and insisted web developers support them.

India's Chandrayaan-2 and Vikram lander split amicably above Moon, SpaceX hops over Texas

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Apogee & Perigee?

Ta!

caffeine addict Silver badge

The lander is in an orbit of 119km x 127km and has a few more engine firings to go. A first deorbit burn is planned for tomorrow, taking the orbit down to 109km x 120km. A second manoeuvre on 4 September will send the lander to 36km x 110km.

Can someone explain these numbers to me? This looks like a distance being recorded as an area. What am I missing?

Hey, it's 2019. Quit making battery-draining webpages – say makers of webpage-displaying battery-powered kit

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: There's little incentive to do this

*glares at ElReg's doubled up parallax advert nonsense*

UK.gov: Huge mobile masts coming to a grassy hill near you soon

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Health concerns

Have you connected your steel wool hat to the regulation PP9 anti-interference module?

Bloke who claimed he invented Bitcoin must hand over $5bn of e-dosh in court case. He can't. He's waiting for a time traveler to arrive

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Time

Thank you for making me double check you weren't amanfrommars1 .

You aren't, are you?

GIMP open source image editor forked to fix 'problematic' name

caffeine addict Silver badge

Re: Astronomers are more mature...

Only when trying to locate uranus.

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