Posts by Montreal Sean

You walk in with a plan. You leave with GPS-tracking Nordic hiking poles. The same old story, eh?

Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

Damn! The plate compactor is sold out!

I needed one of those to help me close my tool kit.

When everyone else is on vacation, it's time to whip out the tiny screwdrivers

Re: Haynes Manuals

I stopped buying Haynes manuals once the internet came along and I could find the shop manuals for my cars.

When you couldn't find them for free they were usually about the same price as the Haynes manual.

Re: Haynes Manuals

Nah, impact wrench before blowtorch. :)

Fix five days of server failure with this one weird trick

Re: always in the last place we look

You keep looking in order to be thorough of course!

I remember going into the Burroughs office in Montreal with my dad, and being shown the BTOS machine he had.

I thought it was pretty cool.

I also learned how to fix PCs on a Unisys 286 he brought home when I was much younger.

I eventually followed in his footsteps and became a break-fix tech at Unisys in Montreal back in '99.

Fun times.

BOFH: But soft! What light through yonder filing cabinet breaks?

Re: Why, of course...

Our Fouriers are transforming too slowly, we need more powerful computers.

Suck on this: El Reg forces dog hair, biscuit crumbs, and disconcertingly sticky stains down two mini vacuums

Re: Mop and bucket

Nothing beats HOT water, Mr. Clean, and washing with a rag on your hands and knees.

You youngsters and your new fangled mops!

Go to L: A man of the cloth faces keyboard conundrum

"In latex they are identical"

swm,

I wouldn't know, my kink doesn't include latex covered letters.

BOFH: Oh for Pete’s sake. Don’t make a spectacle of yourself

The non-idiot colleagues won't need gas masks because they are smart enough to vacate the area until the idiot is gone.

Re: Brilliant

@TRT

"All you'd be left with is the girl, the clown and the chalkboard."

And that would be a problem, why?

What job title would YOU want carved on your gravestone? 'Beloved father, Slayer of Dragons, Register of Domains'

Audio

Dabbsy, your schlong-lengthening audio will only work of accompanied by schlong-lengthening video.

It's a package deal.

Whatever you've been doing during lockdown, you better stop it right now

Re: At Doctor Syntax, re: fun smells.

ShadowSystems, there is nothing comical about cat barfing noises.

One of my cats just finished barfing up his dinner.

Then one of the other cats was heard licking it up.

Happy Friday everyone.

Refurb your enthusiasm: Apple is selling an 8-year-old desktop for over £5k

@overunder

1980s Chrysler K cars.

2.2L 4 pot, not great fuel economy, not great power, slow shifting automatic, bodies would rust out in under 10 years.

Crap stereo, even the premium tape deck.

Uncomfortable seats.

Not too pricey though, so I guess there's that...

By the time my father handed me the keys of his 1984 Plymouth Reliant SE in 1993 it had done 250k kms and was falling apart. I got to use it for a Code of months until the plates were up and I drove it to the scrapper.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz? Detroit waits for my order, you'd better make amends

Re: “I already know what you want!”

The custom ringtone I set for calls from my boss:

Hell's Bells by AC/DC.

Terminal trickery, or how to improve a novel immeasurably

Re: Novel interference

@dvd

Years ago I wrote a paper for my college "Ancient Near Eastern Art and Archaeology" course.

Wrote it through the night, finished in time to hand it in on the deadline. Did incredibly well, got an A.

It was a very fine balancing act of just the right amount of vodka to keep me buzzed through the night.

China launches first module of new, crewed, Tiangong-3 space station

Re: Uighurs?

Pedant mode on.

They aren't American Indians, they are Native Americans.

And there are no Eskimos anymore, they are Inuit.

Pedant mode off.

Half-metre pizza or an upgrade from Windows 7? We know what we'd choose

Re: Upgrade Windows 7 ...

@Anonymous Coward

The POS does not need internet access, the POS should only be communicating with a "back office" server of some type that then provides a secure connection to the outside through a secured firewall.

The POS systems I work on (restaurant, retail stores, petrol stations) do not have direct access to the outside world.

George Clooney of IT: Dribbling disaster and damp disk warnings scare the life out of innocent user

@C R Mudgeon

Sounds like Windows Plus! Which I had on Windows 95 and 98.

SpaceX's Starlink: Overhyped and underpowered to meet broadband needs of Rural America, say analysts

Finally!

I've been waiting forever to get a weather controlling device!

My goal of world domination is slowly getting closer!

LG Electronics finally gives up cellphone business

Re: Shame

@Snake

I've been a happy Motorola owner for quite some time.

Moto G LTE, then Moto E5 Play, now Moto G8 Power Lite.

Ok so none of them are anywhere near flagship level but they do all that I need. Email, phone, sms/mms, web browsing, pdf viewing, movie viewing...

All came with a vanilla Android, or incredibly close to it, and very little bloatware.

None of them over $200 unlocked, new in box from a retailer.

Your tastes may differ, to each their own and all that. :)

Scientists stumped by strange X-rays from Uranus

Re: *snigger*

Wrecked him? I hardly knew him!

Diary of a report writer and his big break into bad business

Re: Amazing

It's also saved in the wrong format which is wreaking havoc with my IE6, an amateurish mistake.

Maybe the next version will be better.

A word to the Wyse: Smoking cigars in the office is very bad for you... and your monitor

Re: From the days of big iron …

@Arthur the Cat

Provocative maintenance? Sounds risqué!

Canadian Windows demands a jolly good bit of validating

@Glenn Hunt

I find the President's Choice kettle cooked chips to be quite good.

I second the chocolate chip cookie vote.

Re: Francais?

In Quebec all signage can be all French or be bilingual, with French first and in significantly larger font.

As for software - depending on the company size - it may also be required to be French, not English.

Because French is an endangered language don't ya know!

Elon Musk says he tried to sell Tesla to Apple, which didn’t bite and wouldn't even meet

DeLorean has prior art

If Apple ever do build cars they'll have to license tech from DeLorean and Doc Brown.

They had a Time Machine and had Lightning charging too.

Cats: Not a fan favourite when the critters are draped around an office packed with tech

Re: Keep the hoover handy

We have 4 cats, 2 of which are long haired. All our cats are indoor only.

The long haired cats get shaved 2 or 3 times a year, leaving them with a short mane, "booties" and bottle brush tails. They absolutely love it, they play much more and snuggle much more. They also both purr super loud and stretch out for the groomer.

If I pedal faster and feed it spinach, my robot barman might pull more pints

Re: Re fooling the exercise bike settings

Other activities can also be as good as walking several miles according to the Fitbit.

Or so I've heard...

@Doctor Syntax

The more important question is, do you want those same forearms supported only by a breadstick?

When even a power-cycle fandango cannot save your Windows desktop

Re: a perfectly understandable error

Printers keep a log of the last several errors, should be easy on a computer.

Did I or did I not ask you to double-check that the socket was on? Now I've driven 15 miles, what have we found?

"Over here in the land of the treasonous colonials they have the top and bottom socket in an outlet fed from different circuits. So you blow a fuse, carefully check that the socket is dead (using a known good lamp) take the cover off and get sock from the other pair of still live wires."

That can't be to code, can it?

Should be 1 outlet = 1 circuit, surely?

BBC Micro:bit with boosted specs and onboard mic to go on sale from next month

Re: WTF is wrong with you british people?

"how's your Alexa?"

Bound and gagged. Just like Cortana, Siri and Google.

At least I think they are...

Microsoft tells staff work-from-home is now ‘standard’ – with caveats galore

Re: WFP

Careful with the offers of free tea or coffee in that tenner a day...

You have no idea how much tea can be consumed...I have a priest friend who drinks in the region of 15L a day.

Now if you charge for toilet access, that could be a real money maker!

Big IQ play from IT outsourcer: Can't create batch files if you can't save files. Of any kind

Re: Idiocy

I work for a national IT services company and it’s the same here.

I’m a break-fix technician, one of the guys who fixes that nice hardware the company has sold/leased to clients.

But we don’t make the company money, so we’re only seen as an expense.

Nope, it’s the sales team that makes the company money, we are just the ones who make sure the clients don’t leave so you keep making the money.

There ain't no problem that can't be solved with the help of American horsepower – even yanking on a coax cable

Re: Closest I've had to that ....

"Brown, orange, and yellow or black, red, and blue (208V)."

They got both.

OPPO's ColorOS 11 hits beta, but swerves EU audience over GDPR compliance concerns

Re: As old as 2019

@RM Myers

I don’t have to imagine, I was around for the “Vista Ready” devices!

What a time to be alive: Floating Apple store bobs up in Singapore

Does this mean

We can go bobbing for Apples?

'I'm telling you, I haven't got an iPad!' – Sent from my iPad

Re: On helpdesk calls

But the user does have checked cables, coloured by hand in several different coulours.

You mean you never make checkerboard patterns on your cables?

Amateur!

The Devil's in the details: Church of Satan forced to clarify that no unholy rituals taking place in SoCal forest

Re: Its in California where..........

This can't be an official sign, there's no mention of anything that is known to cause cancer in California...

Cornish drinkers catch a different kind of buzz as pub installs electric fence at bar

Re: Can't abide the stuff.

Maybe the vertically challenged chap enjoys roasted nuts...

Or fried tomatoes.

Your pick. :)

Re: Puntastic

I read this article while standing in the AC in a DC.

This pub really knows how to Amp up the patrons!

This gives me a tingly feeling.

But not all over.

Bite me? It's 'byte', and that acronym is Binary Interface Transfer Code Handler

@Terry 6

"Il est mort" -> "He is dead." Or "It is dead." (Masculine item)

"mort" pronounced "more"

"Elle est morte." -> "She is dead." Or "It is dead." (Feminine item)

"morte" pronounced "mort"

Hello from Montreal, Quebec! :)

Surprise! That £339 world's first 'anti-5G' protection device is just a £5 USB drive with a nice sticker on it

Re: Big savings! Now!

@robust

Don't shit for at least 48 hours! Think of the warranty!

Icon for what I imagine this suppository feels like.

@Guildencrantz

As a Canadian, I can tell you these will also protect you from beavers. And maybe the odd goose.

A paper clip, a spool of phone wire and a recalcitrant RS-232 line: Going MacGyver in the wonderful world of hotel IT

Re: Proper lash up

"I once caught a tech spitting into Serial connectors to make them plug more easily"

Maybe he should work on his foreplay a bit more...

Remember Tapplock, the 'unbreakable' smart lock that was allergic to screwdrivers? The FTC just slapped it down for 'deceiving' folks

Re: hmmm..

@Jake

Because Montreal is an amazing place to live, and it's well east of the Rockies. :)

Are you extracting the urine, ESA? Why, yes it is, from Moon dwellers to build homes out of lunar regolith. Possibly

Pass me some more beer.

That wall isn't going to build itself!

Lost in translation and adrift in cloud storage

Re: Security?

@TeeCee

That's why I use the Jedi method.

Admin account renamed to "thisisnttheaccountyourelookingfor"

It's a right pain to type in though...

Netflix starts 30-day video data diet at EU's request to ensure network availability during coronavirus crisis

Re: Hey, no fair!

Porn that has 4000 tentacles?

That's a lot!