* Posts by Montreal Sean

503 posts • joined 19 Nov 2010

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'I'm telling you, I haven't got an iPad!' – Sent from my iPad

Montreal Sean
Joke

Re: On helpdesk calls

But the user does have checked cables, coloured by hand in several different coulours.

You mean you never make checkerboard patterns on your cables?

Amateur!

The Devil's in the details: Church of Satan forced to clarify that no unholy rituals taking place in SoCal forest

Montreal Sean

Re: Its in California where..........

This can't be an official sign, there's no mention of anything that is known to cause cancer in California...

Cornish drinkers catch a different kind of buzz as pub installs electric fence at bar

Montreal Sean

Re: Can't abide the stuff.

Maybe the vertically challenged chap enjoys roasted nuts...

Or fried tomatoes.

Your pick. :)

Montreal Sean

Re: Puntastic

I read this article while standing in the AC in a DC.

This pub really knows how to Amp up the patrons!

Montreal Sean

This gives me a tingly feeling.

But not all over.

Bite me? It's 'byte', and that acronym is Binary Interface Transfer Code Handler

Montreal Sean

@Terry 6

"Il est mort" -> "He is dead." Or "It is dead." (Masculine item)

"mort" pronounced "more"

"Elle est morte." -> "She is dead." Or "It is dead." (Feminine item)

"morte" pronounced "mort"

Hello from Montreal, Quebec! :)

Surprise! That £339 world's first 'anti-5G' protection device is just a £5 USB drive with a nice sticker on it

Montreal Sean
Flame

Re: Big savings! Now!

@robust

Don't shit for at least 48 hours! Think of the warranty!

Icon for what I imagine this suppository feels like.

Montreal Sean

@Guildencrantz

As a Canadian, I can tell you these will also protect you from beavers. And maybe the odd goose.

A paper clip, a spool of phone wire and a recalcitrant RS-232 line: Going MacGyver in the wonderful world of hotel IT

Montreal Sean

Re: Proper lash up

"I once caught a tech spitting into Serial connectors to make them plug more easily"

Maybe he should work on his foreplay a bit more...

Remember Tapplock, the 'unbreakable' smart lock that was allergic to screwdrivers? The FTC just slapped it down for 'deceiving' folks

Montreal Sean

Re: hmmm..

@Jake

Because Montreal is an amazing place to live, and it's well east of the Rockies. :)

Are you extracting the urine, ESA? Why, yes it is, from Moon dwellers to build homes out of lunar regolith. Possibly

Montreal Sean

Pass me some more beer.

That wall isn't going to build itself!

Lost in translation and adrift in cloud storage

Montreal Sean

Re: Security?

@TeeCee

That's why I use the Jedi method.

Admin account renamed to "thisisnttheaccountyourelookingfor"

It's a right pain to type in though...

Netflix starts 30-day video data diet at EU's request to ensure network availability during coronavirus crisis

Montreal Sean

Re: Hey, no fair!

Porn that has 4000 tentacles?

That's a lot!

Not exactly the kind of housekeeping you want when it means the hotel's server uptime is scrubbed clean

Montreal Sean

Re: The cleaner did it. In the bedroom. With the vacuum cleaner.

That really sucked.

Don't be fooled, experts warn, America's anti-child-abuse EARN IT Act could burn encryption to the ground

Montreal Sean

Re: Fucking idiots.

@Teiwaz

He's been too busy chastising the border patrol for letting this Mexican virus through the wall so good Americans can buy it in six packs...

Stop us if you've heard this one before: HP Inc rejects Xerox's $36.5bn buyout plan as takeover saga drags on

Montreal Sean

Re: won't someone think about Canon :P

@Benson's Cycle

Those wax transfer printers (ColorQube) deliver beautiful prints, but I'll be happy to never repair one again.

Those 8700 series printers take almost 10 minutes to power up, which makes troubleshooting a potential hours long job.

Montreal Sean

Re: won't someone think about Canon :P

Xerox also doesn't make it's own engines, they used to be Lexmark for the bigger printers, but now they are using Konica Minolta engines.

For their big copiers it may be Xerox engines though.

We regret to inform you there are severe delays on the token ring due to IT nerds blasting each other to bloody chunks

Montreal Sean

@Nick Ryan

It's worse than you think.

When I was starting my IT career in 1999 I ran into an IBM tech while on a break-fix call out.

I noticed that he had a token ring pcmcia adapter in his ThinkPad, and asked him about it.

He said at client sites he'd use ethernet, but anytime he was back at the IBM office he had to use the token ring adapter as they were still using 16Meg Token Ring.

Poor guy.

Just the place you'd want to spot a BSOD: While waiting in line for a roller coaster that lifts you up 124ft

Montreal Sean
Coat

I don't know, it's proven it does a good job of breaking...

Montreal Sean

Steve plugged in his trusty Linux live-USB with OpenRCT2 on it, rebooted and got on the ride.

HP Ink: No way, Xerox. We're not accepting your takeover. Well, we'd never say never. Maybe even maybe? Hello, you still there? Please?

Montreal Sean

Re: "the current Xerox acquisition offer is not in the best interest of HP shareholders"

@simonlb

I noticed that too, no mention of what's best for the employees. I guess employees don't count.

Also I noticed this one:

"Some of the "value creation" in the company plan may take the form of continued workforce reduction. About 800 employees left HP in Q1, said Fieler."

The employees didn't leave, they were laid off. Fieler's an asshat.

Come on baby light me on fire: McDonald's to sell 'Quarter Pounder' scented candles

Montreal Sean

Re: no publicity is bad publicity ...

The most satisfying thing I've gotten from McDonald's recently was a BM.

OK, which Dombås stuffed Windows 10 to bursting at Swedish flatpack flinger?

Montreal Sean

Re: "Relationship-ending"

@9Rune5

My wife and I solved those IKEA problems.

We order online with in store pickup.

No charge, reserved spaces by the door, all required boxes together so we know we didn't miss one on the shelves.

And if you buy the non-particle board furniture it actually is pretty decent.

You'll never select all and mark as read again after this tale of peril... Oh, who are we kidding? Of course you will

Montreal Sean

Re: User problem: needed to be escalated.

@A K Stiles

All the necessary steps were taken.

Ah, night shift in the 1970s. Ciggies, hipflasks, ADVENT... and fault-prone disk drives the size of washing machines

Montreal Sean

Re: How to treat removable pack drives

Maxtor should have used the bricks, at least bricks can be counted on to do their job for years on end.

Unlike Maxtor hard drives.

Clunk, whirr, buzz, whine. Shared office space can be a riot and sounds like one too

Montreal Sean

Re: OpenOffice

@ColinPa

So it was more like Pong?

The time that Sales braved the white hot heat of the data centre to save the day

Montreal Sean

Re: Awww bless..

@ Anomalous Custard

The correct answer to what noise does it make when you turn it on:

"John tried turning it on. The server might have made noise but John's screams as he was electrocuted drowned out all other noise. Please send us the disks, and an ambulance."

Who says HMRC hasn't got a sense of humour? Er, 65 million Brits

Montreal Sean

Re: Sorry I'm late, my doctors claimed I'd died...

@ Shadow Systems

I misread that as "fried dog pills"

I may need more sleep.

It's always DNS, especially when you're on holiday with nothing but a phone on GPRS

Montreal Sean

Re: No Service

When I'm not on call my work mobile ringer and notifications are silenced, from the moment my work day ends at 17:30 until 08:30 rolls around.

El Reg presents: Your one-step guide on where not to store electronic mail

Montreal Sean

Re: Deleted

@Martin an gof

"Which OS is it that lets you see which files are in the trash can, but won't let you use them directly, requiring that they are restored to their original locations first?"

That would be OSX. Not sure if there are others.

BOFH: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and the ransomware struck

Montreal Sean

Re: Xmas cheer

This year I introduced my 2 kids to Die Hard.

Both boys (7 and 10) complained when my wife and I said we were going to make them watch our favourite Christmas movie.

They were very surprised when the guns came out. :)

After the movie finished we told them not to tell their teachers and definitely not yell "Yippee kai yay motherf*ucker!" when they return to class after the holidays. :)

Log us out: Private equity snaffles Lastpass owner LogMeIn

Montreal Sean

Re: Bitwarden

@DavCrav

Your two rounds of ROT13 have nothing on my ROTTWEILER method. He won't let anyone near the list pinned to his collar.

Valuable personal info leaks from Facebook – not Zuck selling it, unencrypted hard drives of staff data stolen

Montreal Sean
Flame

"If somebody can make a laptop that'll produce thick, stinking smoke when switched on, I'll leave that in plain sight as bait."

Didn't Toshiba make one of those?

BOFH: I'd like introduce you to a groovy little web log I call 'That's Boss'

Montreal Sean

Re: Ooohhh ! We're back to sneakily dreadful.

The boss survivimg this long must mean he's a Linux user.

He stays far away from Windows.

Ok, where's my coat?

Can't you hear me knocking? But I installed a smart knocker

Montreal Sean

Re: (which I can then change when I get back home).

"Just the code, or are you properly paranoid, and so change the locks and keys as well? :-)"

I bought one of those Weiser Smart key dead bolts. It lets you reprogram the mechanical lock to use a different key.

As long as you don't lose the special little tool that lets you make the change...

The silence of the racks is deafening, production gear has gone dark – so which wire do we cut?

Montreal Sean

Re: The big red button

Don't knock Casio watches, those Databank watches were the first smart watches!

I loved my Telememo 30 (Casio DB-31) back in the late '80s.

Microsoft has made a Surface slab that mere mortals can dismantle

Montreal Sean

Re: What’s with el reg’s constant whining about torx screws?

Torx screws are not proprietary, they are fairly common.

They don't strip as easily as a Philips head, especially at the tiny laptop screw sizes.

Montreal Sean

Re: a Surface slab that mere mortals can dismantle

@bombastic Bob

If it floats, it's a witch.

Not just adhesive, but alcohol-resistant adhesive: Well done, Apple. Airpods Pro repairability is a zero

Montreal Sean

Re: That vendor's track record for reparability is miserable

"If the things last 3 years, you're paying ~$7/mo for them. That seems crazy expensive to me."

Doesn't sound so crazy to me.

I had a car I bought for $4500 Canadian, into which I put almost $2000 Canadian worth of stereo equipment.

I sold the car 3 years later, not regretting a single penny spent on the stereo since I was in the car 25-30 hours a week...

It all depends on what makes you happy.

Google forks out $2.1bn for Fitbit – and promises not to exploit all that delicious health data to sling ads (honest)

Montreal Sean

Re: Google promises...

"Just got back from the Gym and several people there have already decided to ditch their FitBits. They were all talking about getting an Apple Watch which is not what Google wants."

Is an Apple watch really any better for privacy? You are leaving Fitbit for fear of Google getting more of your data, and handing that data to another company (Apple) instead.

I figure Google already has my email and I already have an Android, but Apple has nothing yet. Why would I want to give another of the big 3 my data?

IT protip: Never try to be too helpful lest someone puts your contact details next to unruly boxen

Montreal Sean

Re: Where were you 20 years ago?

Time does fly!

This time 20 years ago I was a month into my break-fix career, having just started at Unisys...

I left them for a few years later for a better offer elsewhere.

'Earworn Wearables' will save the day (wireless earbuds, but cool name for your D&D halfling)

Montreal Sean

Re: They call that smart ?

The number of times my oldest son has done this is beyond belief.

Last time we made him go through every piece of clean clothing from the load and remove every little bit of tissue paper.

He was not happy. Hopefully he's learned the lesson. :)

This fall, Ubuntu 19.10 stars as Eoan Ermine in... Dawn of the Stoats

Montreal Sean
Coat

Re: Stupid Scapegoat

"I still miss the nudes from Warty Warthog."

Personally, I'm waiting to upgrade until Salacious Salamander is released.

I hear it will put Warty to shame.

Hey, I wrote this neat little program for you guys called the IMAC User Notification Tool

Montreal Sean

Richard Shiner...

I know a Richard Painter.

He used to go by Dick....

Linky revisited: How the evil French smart meter escaped Hell to taunt me

Montreal Sean

Re: Le Diable

My father always told me that Lucas was tri-state electrics.

On, off, and flicker.

Now that's integrity: Bloke sinks 7 beers, turns himself in. Cops weren't looking for him

Montreal Sean

Re: Ode to American 'beers'

1829? Bah! Youngster!

Molson has been brewing beer in Montreal since 1786. Still won't touch much of their product though.

Older doesn't always mean better. :)

Behold the perils of trying to turn the family and friends support line into a sideline

Montreal Sean

Re: Volunteering

Old folks try to one up each other just as much as youth do.

My MIL bought an iPad because she had gone on a weekend writing retreat with some friends and they all had iPads while she only had a new MacBook Pro.

After buying the iPad on her return to civilization, she left it in its box for 6 months. When she finally took it out she realized typing on a screen sucks so she went out and bought a keyboard and mouse.

We all warned her before she bought it. Arg!

Montreal Sean

Re: Cable entanglement

Often that offspring will be damaged in some small way that will only be discovered after you've managed to separate it from the bunch...

Belgian F-16 pilot rescued from power line after emergency ejection

Montreal Sean

He was tired

He just needed a little boost and found a good spot to recharge.

Montreal Sean

That one really came down to the wire!

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