Posts by Monkey Bob

Obsolescence of food is complete: Soylent now comes in bottles

Dammit

Hungry now...

Tesla bumps up Model S P85D acceleration – with software update

Re: P85D

I suspect someone's got a thing for WW2 planes, the P51D was the Mustang, the P47D was the Thunderbolt.

And as someone who possibly plays a bit too much War Thunder I can't help but wonder if you unlock rockets after driving the P85D enough...

Let's make an app that posts your poo to Apple HQ

Was rather drunk at the time...

Crouching tiger, FAST ASLEEP dragon: Smugglers can't shift iPhone 6s

Re: "But, smugglers are not only reporting fewer sales"

You're holding it wrong.

World's only flyable WWII Lancaster bombers meet in Lincs

Re: Aviation geeks

Play more War Thunder? That was the main reason I guessed it was a Beaufighter first! My first thought as it went over was "blimey they really got the in game engine noise right didn't they?"

Re: Aviation geeks

Thank you both, better than anything else I'd found.

I was buzzed by either a Beaufighter or a Mosquito just below Ladybower on 18th May mid morning, I'd assumed it was the RAF BBMF, no mention of either on their site though (it had the D-Day paintjob too). That's what made me start looking, & now the plot thickens.

**edit - I bet it was their Dakota actually, I never realised they have such similar arses & I've just noticed what could be windows on my (shit) photo.

Aviation geeks

Could any aviation geeks please tell if there is some online resource telling you what will be flying where & when?

A couple of times in the Peaks I've been buzzed by WWII era planes (not counting the regular pleasure flights) with no warning (& always when I'm using the wrong lens) & have always wondered if they announce flight plans for heritage planes in advance anywhere.

Reg Latin scholars scrap over LOHAN's stirring motto

It's even better if you imagine the corrections being given by John Cleese dressed as a centurion

Beautiful balloon burst caught on camera

Re: Is that the 'globe' of helium that remains for a few frames?

I was wondering the same, or condensation from the inside of the balloon maybe?

Red-faced LOHAN team 'fesses up in blown SPEARS fuse fiasco

Oh come on, it's not rocket science.

waitaminute...

123-reg shrugs off customer complaints over stealth domain transfer charges

Re: Rubbish

> Want to change the ownership information? That'll be £10+VAT to Nominet.

They've changed this relatively recently so that if it's done right it doesn't cost anything.

The registrar can change the main admin (a1) contact if needed, which can then request a password for Nominet's portal, & the account name can be changed through there with no charge AFAIK*.

The contact details, & anything other than the main account name, can be changed by the registrar at any time, in seconds by pgp signed email.

* - I've never changed the account name myself. I work at a registrar, & I've changed the a1 contact for customers & sent them off to do this, & not one has come back saying it doesn't work...

Nookie becomes, um, a virtual reality for Oculus Rift gadget gamers

Haptic?

Faptic, surely?

Acer suffers terrible let-down after unexpected withdrawal of Wang

El Reg headline writers...

I can't work out if you've just hit new heights, dug to new depths, neither, or both.

Congratulations anyway.

Kamikaze Moon mission on track as NASA grips its tumbling LADEE

Kamikaze probe doing a spot of landscaping...

...& not a single LADEE garden joke in 12 hours. Shameful.

NSA: NOBODY could stop Snowden – he was A SYSADMIN

Re: "The damage, on a scale of 1 to 10, is a 12."

Is it too late for a "BOFH of the year" award?

Or too early?

LOHAN lays mitts on second Iridium sat comms kit

Most importantly...

If there's going to be some ground-based manual kill switch it has to be something suitably Bond-villian-esque, the sort of switch that would look fitting on some instrument panel in an extinct volcano-based lair.

Can it have a cover that you need a key to open?

And red, lots of red. Flashing.

Soylent days and soylent nights

Re: not a balanced diet

Uranium mill tailings you mean :) Best ingredients list ever that, & top book, thanks for the flashback.

"Water, blackstrap molasses, imported habanero peppers, salt, garlic, ginger, tomato puree, axle grease, real hickory smoke, snuff, butts of clove cigarettes, Guiness Stout fermentation dregs, uranium mill tailings, muffler cores, monosodium glutamate, nitrates, nitrites, nitrotes and nitrutes, nutrites, natrotes, powdered pork nose hairs, dynamite, activated charcoal, match-heads, used pipe cleaners, tar, nicotine, single-malt whiskey, smoked beef lymph nodes, autumn leaves, red fuming nitric acid, bituminous coal, fallout, printer's ink, laundry starch, drain cleaner, blue chrysotile asbestos, carrageenan, BHA, BHT, and natural flavorings."

Users rage as Fasthosts virtual servers go titsup... again

Obligatory xkcd

http://xkcd.com/908/

Apple unveils hints of Monday's new-product announcements

Re: Cynicism on my mehflakes

meh...

Germans purge selves of indigestible 63-letter word

They had an example of this in the German GCSE book we used, IIRC it was...

vierwaldstaterseedampfschiffgesellsschaftkapitansmutzensternlein

I can't remember how to say anything meaningful in German, but that stuck in there somehow. Any German speakers here? Did I get it right?

US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

Broke out the popcorn, clicked to the comments...

And not a single "squeal piggie" or porking punchline.

Shameful, commentards, absolutely shameful.

El Reg's 'Chuck Norris' faces down charging elephant

Why not use blue whales & elephant seals? All this metric crap is just far too easy. It could be like stone, pound & ounces, except with blue whales, elephant seals, & oh I don't know, some sort of penguin maybe?

Open-source attack dog enters Ballmer's inner ring

Open source attack dog?

Isn't that the next Ubuntu release? Rabid Rottweiler?

Merde! Paris Apple Store in €1m armed raid on New Year's Eve

The police gave chase & couldn't catch 'em...

But as soon as they rounded a corner Apple's lawyers were on to them like a shot.

B'dum, tsssssh...

Vatican shrugs off apocalypse, fiddles with accounts dept

World ends in two days?

Fuck I forgot, I've just renewed my monthly travel pass...

China plans astro-farms on Mars

Science schmience

I want some Chinese Space Chillies!

Prisoner found with phone + charger in anal cavity

Re: "A Scottish man has been given an extra stretch inside"

I didn't, until you pointed it out, for which I thank you.

Sony tempts 4K Ultra HD TV buyers with free films

Re: Lawrence of Arabia

I remember Peter O'Toole admitting being so pissed for one scene that he tied himself to his camel, I can't help but wonder if you can tell at 4K.

'007' job ad for an assassin appears on official UK.gov website

Fake? Bastards!

I've just had my tailor alter my dinner jacket for a shoulder holster.

US paper spaceplane disintegrates at 107,000ft

Yeah right..

One denial in the sub-head, one in the article.

I suppose Lester has a cast-iron alibi too?

<-- Safety googles

First eyes EVER SEEN (by definition) appeared 700 million years ago

Re: The Holy Jellyfish?

May you be touched by his (kind of) noodly (albeit in a squishy over-cooked kind of way) appendage.

America mounts attempt to top the Register's world record spaceflight

Dear El Reg SPB

If they beat the record will there be a PARIS 2 after LOHAN?

Apple loses UK 'Samsung copied us' appeal: Must publicly GROVEL

Re: Arial? How gauche!

As much as I hate Comic Sans I can't help but think that Papyrus would look worse.

Vote now for the ultimate bacon sandwich

Bastards

My local sarnie shop stopped doing hot sandwiches an hour ago.

Investor pulls out of Facebook, pumps cash into pork-printing joint

Igor, throw the switch!

Tablets to outship laptops in 2016 SHOCK

Correction

bullishness? Bullshitness shirley?

TSA screeners spooked by Apple's 'futuristic artifact'

Can you change the battery?

Crytek says future is free-to-play

Re: Merchandising!

You forgot the cuddly toy!

*pulls string* "May da schwartz be with you"

Man's car warns of AIR RAID OVER LONDON

Pffffffffffffft! </tea>

Bullfights...

Miniature woolly mammoths once roamed Crete

Fantastic

I need four of these & a kick arse dogsled. My commute will never be dull again.

'Woz' wants $100,000 for Mac 128K prototype

Re: Not suprised....

"Mind you, I've heard of people taking vintage macs to apple stores and getting service, so stranger things have happened."

It's almost worth $100k just to take it into an Apple store & try!

LOHAN to straddle meaty titanium rod

Re: Why titanium rod?

If you used a tube could you fill it with whatever is in those chemical hand-warmer thingies, just before launching, & at that altitude would it do enough/anything to stop freezing?

Ignore me if I'm talking shit, it's already beer 'o' clock round these here parts & I know nothing.

Google swings new mobile unlock patent punch at Apple

Re: Re: Patents...

There was a phone released in early 2005 which had an on-screen "slide to unlock" feature. Apple filed the patent in December 2005. Can't remember the manufacturer, some Scandinavian company (not the obvious two).

PARIS soars to Guinness World Record

When I read the headline I just knew the article would involve at least one photo of people holding beer.

Congratulations.

Shark versus shark in Barrier Reef DEATH MATCH

Bonus points for inserting a gratuitous cockwomble.

It's like watching two software patent lawyers mating.

LOHAN lifts skirt on 3D printed parts

No no no, it's like ounces, lb & stone.

16 trees of monkeys to the sack of badgers, 14 sacks of badgers per box of frogs.

Unless you're talking literally & are experimenting with a blender.

Google pushes your buttons in its top strip bar - AGAIN

Look in DuckDuckGo's goodies page, you can just use !shopping before your search.

What's in the box, Windows sysadmin?

Man, such hostility...

Some mainly Windows BOFHs also do Linux admin & vice versa. Such people may have Linux tools that they use for Windows admin & system rescue, therefore mentioning such tools is surely quite legitimate when they've been asked what tools they use. It's each to their own, either deal with it or get a job llama farming or some shit. In fact bollocks, it's your blood pressure.

I'm a complete agnostic when it comes to OS preference, each has it's own merits. But Windows admins going all frothy at the mouth as soon as someone mentions that they use Linux tools to fix things is quite frankly a bit sad, just as sad as the reverse would be. I've picked up tips here on both MS & Linux based options, if you stop going all red mist & actually read some of the comments you may learn about something that will save you some serious time & effort at some point.

Serious, this is making iTards look positively liberal & cuddly, & a fair proportion of both Windows & Linux BOFHs who have posted look like a bunch of cockwombles.

US Navy preps railgun for tests

ONE STEP BEYOOOOOND!!!!

sorry