* Posts by Snapper

400 posts • joined 8 Nov 2010


Refreshing: An Office update that won't frighten the horses



I've still got clients deliberately running older versions of macOS so they can run Office 2011. They take one look at 'Microsoft 360' * and decide na!

*for new readers of El Reg, it's called '360' because at leat 5 days a year you won't be able to access it or your work (unless you are sensible and keep a LOCAL copy).

US Air Force announces plan to assassinate molluscs with hypersonic missile


Re: Some things...

I remember that! Must be 20 years ago, so a sprog pilot could be great-grandson pilot...


Re: Keeping schtum

Damn! You beat me to the most obvious punnet!

NASA talks up Perseverance Mars rover's self-driving rock-avoiding abilities


Re: ‘thinking while driving'

Real shame, they already hadn't supplied it with indicators!

'Perseverance will roam the Jezero crater'!

In my non-caffinated state this morning I read that as 'Perseverance will ream the Jezero crater'.....

Windows 11: Meet the new OS, same as the old OS (or close enough)


I remember that! Word 5.1 was really easy to use and very reliable. I stayed away from Word 6 for as long as I could after seeing what a mess MS had made of it. I wish I still had it when I'm working with 365!


Well, Apple gave you both name and number. macOS 10.13 was High Sierra and 10.14 was Mohave. MS really don't like making life easy for people.

I suspect one of the largest departments at MS is the one devising the most ambiguous error messages and 'Help' instructions it can!

Flying dildo poses a slap in the face for serious political debate


Re: Misuse of Drone

Agree. Given the ability of most Americans to settle an argument with guns or explosives and a small minority perfectly willing to try, it wouldn't take too much imagination to turn a drone into a suicide drone.

An example should be made.

Apple is happy to diss the desktop – it knows who's got the most to lose


Re: The sorry state of Apple's garbled App Store Update Page: High Sierra.

You must be a 'PC' person. Every time I see a Mac running at 1/2 to 1/3 speed I know a 'PC' person has been fiddling with it.

Yes, over 30 years in the business.

This week, Apple CEO Tim Cook faced surprisingly tough questioning from judge


Ever watched Howard Hughes or read transcripts of Edison in front of a committee? CEO evasion and bad memory are not new.

How much would you pay me to develop a COVID tracking app that actually works? Ah, thought so: nothing


Re: Tea....

I visit lots of IT clients in my job.

The variety of methods and results are....mixed, but this one about ten years ago took the biscuit (which was stale).

1) Put Earl Grey teabag in mug.

2) Pour hot water from tap into mug.

3) Put mug in microwave to heat it a bit more.

4) Remove from microwave to test heat.

5) Return mug to microwave if heat not deemed sufficient.

6) Add tinned Carnation milk to taste.

7) Dip biscuit in liquid and suck noisily.

Funnily enough I found enough urgent things to do that I wasn't able to finish mine.

Lessons have not been learned: Microsoft's Modern Comments leave users reaching for the rollback button


Re: Change for the sake of change

Microsoft were damn lucky to start when they did.

They were able to create a virtual monopoly by fair means and a lot of foul. If they came out with the type of crap 'improvements' that they have done but with serious competition they'd have gone to the wall decades ago.

Apple's macOS is sub-par for security, Apple exec Craig Federighi tells Epic trial


Re: Everything in Apple, nothing against Apple, nothing outside Apple

Ye, but perhaps a certain other platform holds a lot of responsibility for the lack of security on their past offerings, which in turn opened the floodgate to the black hats and the growth of the security industry.

So what if I pay peanuts for my home broadband? I demand you fix it NOW!


Re: hint: the same place it was yesterday,

Shall I?

Shall I?

Oh go on then!

Learn to use your fucking computer before blaming it for your incompetence!

Bill to protect UK against harmful foreign investment becomes law


Re: I thought...

Really, with all those spivs and con-men in charge? How would their little hedge fund manage without a little corruption between chums?


Chip, much?


Actually, you've made the first argument for Leave I've read that I can respect. It's possibly bollocks or possibly not, but a reasonable opinion and I will delve further.

I doubt Brexit will make any difference however.

Can't get that printer to work? It's not you. It's that sodding cablin.... oh beautiful job with that cabling, boss


Re: Time was...

It's OK, it was a Chihuahua.

We seem to have materialized in a universe in which Barney the Purple Dinosaur is designing iPhones for Apple


Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

'You can't store anything in 512 MB once you install a few apps under Windows 10'

There, fixed it for you!


Ummm...you didn't use the joke icon?

God bless this mess: Study says UK's Christian beliefs had 'important' role in Brexit


Re: Lies, damned lies, and statistics...

I've always been open to hearing good arguments for leaving and, hand on heart, I'd have voted Leave if I thought the advantages outweighed the benefits. And I can understand the sentimental urgings of just wanting control back. But every single argument has turned out to be either highly inaccurate, hearsay or propaganda from people I would not buy a used snail shell from.

Search YouTube for UKIP campaigners telling a farmer of glass eels that he'll be able to sell to new markets of people that the EU was preventing him from. Now he has no clients in the EU and has to find a new client base in places like Belarus from scratch, if his finances can keep going while does that. And he still doesn't know if the people of Belarus eat glass eels.

Look at the votes on this article, many from people who have to make important, unbiased decisions faced with evidence that may not be obvious and needs interpretation, and see how many down votes anyone who thinks Leave was a good idea get. Coincidence?


Re: Religion in the UK?

Yeah, I had to do that to get my son into the only decent local school, a Catholic one. Trouble was he's gay, and from the headmaster down had a seriously bad time in his teens.

We should just remember what the organised religions can be like given half a chance. The school said if he wanted a place we couldn't put down any other school on the list of preferences. Totally illegal. They should not have been able to find out from the local education authority what we had put down, but we were warned by parents already at the school that the EA was thoroughly penetrated. UK circa 2006.

Religion poisons everything.


Re: I find myself saying...

Just because you didn't understand (and obviously still don't) what a 'Third Country' is and how we would return to pre-1973 import controls doesn't mean that everyone was that dim.

To have one floppy failure is unlucky. To have 20 implies evil magic or a very silly user



Did all the writing staff then move to Microsoft, because if they did they are still there and training a new generation!


Re: The endless story

I saw a computer salesman, when asked how a paper letter could be transferred to a computer, fold it up and try to feed it through the floppy drive port.

Ice Lake, Baby: Intel's 10nm 3rd Gen Xeon Scalable server processors to arrive at last


Re: Yawn...

And Apple has 5nm already and is aiming for 3nm.

Their 'next job could be in cyber': UK Cyber Security Council launches itself by pointing world+dog to domain it doesn't own


Re: Very few Eton educated individuals in IT...

William Rees-Mogg also wrote -

Blood in the Streets: Investment Profits in a World Gone Mad

The Great Reckoning: Protect Yourself in the Coming Depression

and a few others on the same lines. Which suggest that Smoggie may have had a few tips from his pater about deliberately creating a depression and a world gone mad so he could make a modest profit.

The proles don't matter and never did!

No, no, let's hear this out, says judge waving away Apple's attempt to kill MacBook Pro Flexgate lawsuit


Especially if you sell the replacements and fitting in your Apple Stores lower than even your registered Apple repair people can buy the parts for. I've seen a huge number of broken screens and liquid spillages during lockdown but as soon as the clients get a sniff of what Apple are charging I've lost the sale.

Yep, you're totally unique: That one very special user and their very special problem


Re: Where’s the effing handbrake!?

And how many of the displays had a separate mains SWITCH next to the cable input in addition to the sexy one on the edge of the display that was so easy to turn off when installing/moving/kicking the screen!

"Find the plug in the wall socket, is it turned on?"

"Fine, now follow the cable to the monitor."

'No, it's not the computer, it's the screen for it, so you can see what you are doing."

"you see where the cable is plugged into the monitor, is there a switch next to it?"

"Yes, it IS difficult to see isn't it!"

"Have you got a torch?"

"Okay, can you now press the tiny unlit button at the bottom left of the monitor?"

"Yes, it's on the outside edge where you can't see it easily."

"Okay, now switch the computer on."


"No, you don't have to do this every day."


Re: When turn off/turn on fails

Ever looked for a serial number on the outside of an iPad? I have a special pair of glasses just for doing this.

UK prime minister Boris Johnson reluctant to reveal his involvement in the OneWeb deal


Re: I do so love all this talk of voting ...

Corbyn's deliberately lack-lustre Referendum Campaign and his clumsy fence-sitting afterwards didn't actually inspire people to think he knew what he was doing.

But he did win the argument, so he says.


Re: Meh

You are just repeating propaganda, you know it, we've heard it all before.

I voted Remain, not because I was convinced remaining in the EU was a good thing and I really wanted to hear both sides of the argument, but I had no trouble seeing through the sheer blatant lies and confusion Leave relied on, with the goal-posts that Leave came up with constantly changing as each point they put up was disproved and they had to change their story AGAIN.

I'm still willing to believe there are sound reasons for leaving the EU, but I never heard one during the campaign, haven't heard one in the past five years and I'm not looking forward to the next decade or two as we reap the negative benefits of getting BoJo and his clowns into government, which is really the only 'success' story apart from a lot of rich people getting a hell of a lot richer.

What are you going to do now, say something with 'vaccines' in it? ONLY thing the UK government gets right amid utter ineptitude causing one of the highest death rates in Europe, and it didn't have ANYTHING to do with your precious Brexit


Re: Meh

When we were in the EU we were not prevented from trading with other non-EU countries, that's one of the biggest and easiest Brexit lies to call out right there.

And how many people were persuaded to vote leave by claims that EU Red Tape would go away, and anyone pointing out the freaking obvious, in that if we didn't remain in the CU and SM, we would be a third country and subject to the rules that non-EU countries have to deal with, was treated to the infinitely lazy 'Project Fear!'

Result = Government spends taxpayers money trying to persuade the populace to eat more shellfish in order to save the fishing industry it so comprehensively and deliberately sold down the river.


Re: Clueless

"We've had enough of so-called exports"


Re: Clueless

Judging by BoJo's comments, he's already in talks for the lucrative circuit. I can't think why people would pay to hear him talk though, and he doesn't really think, just reacts!

I haven't bought new pants for years, why do I have to keep buying new PCs?


Re: When you say "pants", - nothing wrong with old tech

My Mac Pro 2008 (admittedly upgraded with more RAM and an SSD) is running Microsoft 365 and Adobe CC 2020 quite well. Runs my business as well. My trusty MacBook Pro 13" is from 2012, and I take it everywhere.

Synology to enforce use of validated disks in enterprise NAS boxes. And guess what? Only its own disks exceed 4TB


Re: SMR?




If Synology were selling these at a premium price I would agree, but they shouldn't be any more expensive than Seagate or WD RED PRO's. I've used the Toshiba Enterprise drives (which these Synology drives are) for the last few years after being let down badly by WD a couple of times, and the Tosh's have never had a problem. Cheaper than Seagate and WD 'Pro' drives as well.

Exonerated: First subpostmasters cleared of criminal convictions in Post Office Horizon scandal


Yeah, and she had the arrogance to take holy orders to become a Priest! Obviously thinks very highly of herself and likes telling people what to do.

Chuck Yeager, sound barrier pioneer pilot, dies at 97


Re: The right stuff, in some circumstances

Eric Brown was slated to fly the Miles M.52 in 1946, nearly a year before Yeager broke the sound barrier in the Bell X-1.

The difference in the planes was astounding. The Miles would take off from a runway, fly supersonic for about 20 minutes and land back on a runway.

The Bell X-1 had to be carried aloft underneath a B-29, gave only a couple of minutes supersonic and had to touch down on skids to land.

The Miles would have been a far safer aircraft, but was cancelled mainly due to cost reasons but 'Officially' because of the danger to the pilot.

Apple's M1: the fastest and bestest ever silicon = revolution? Nah, there's far more interesting stuff happening in tech that matters to everyone


You forgot 'Apple is doomed'.

You got paid for this drivel!

Apple's global security boss accused of bribing cops with 200 free iPads in exchange for concealed gun permits


Re: "10,000 songs in your pocket."

'I shot the Sheriff'

Why did Apple hamstring camera repairs on standard iPhone 12 but leave Pro Max module swappable? asks engineering group


Re: If i wanted a

And with Affinity Photo at £33 for the next few days, who actually needs the vastly overpriced Photoshop.

Bloated middle age beckons: Windows 1.0 turns 35 and is dealing with its mid-life crisis, just about


And who were they trying to copy, Apple, as usual. Apple launched the far superior Mac in 1984, and it wasn't until 1995 that Windows became half-way useable.

How Apple's M1 uses high-bandwidth memory to run like the clappers


Re: Mac pro

Put ThunderBolt in mine!


"If we build it, they will come!"

Northern Ireland announces £165m full-fibre rollout funded by 2017 DUP agreement with Theresa May's UK government


Re: Hmm

The full force of Brexit hasn't hit us yet, we've just been coasting and wasting time along with billions of quid.

We can make rations cards in blue I'm told, if we speak nicely to a company in Argentina.

Apple Arm Macs ship, don't expect all open-source apps to work without emulation – here's what you need to know


Try not to be so stupidly negative, it's so boring!

Let's... drawer a veil over why this laser printer would decide to stop working randomly


Oh god, you've just given me flashbacks to working for the Civil Service, you bastard!


Re: Low IQ or low volition?

Well, I REALLY doubt iMacs have be rebooted as often as Windows computers.

Unless a 'Windows Engineer' has been 'fixing' it, and that's easy to spot as it will be running at 50% speed.

Voyager 2 is back online after eight months of radio silence


Re: You know you need coffee when..

Are you in trouble number 9?



Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021