* Posts by Chimp

135 posts • joined 2 Nov 2010


Pop-up Kiwi CERT a shepherd for helpless hacked SMB flock


The Shire has a...

Federal Government? That is interesting...

Intel 80386 queen Renée James quits as chipmaker's president

Big Brother

MBA speak

"We are aligning our leadership structure to continue to become more efficient in order to deliver the benefits of our strategy even faster than before," Krzanich said

A classic of its type.

Prehistoric swingbelly KANGAROOS were TOO FAT to jump – scientists


Re: "just got too fat and had to waddle instead"

Definitely sounds Australian... Fatty waddling around, clutching his didgeridoo.

Brookhaven boffins boggle at baryons


Re: Sounds fascinating...

I don't think it's real. There isn't a single use of the word 'quantum'.

LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch


It can only be...

... meum est a puncto

Congress passes crackdown on NSA surveillance


Re: "Hello, Google? Yes, I'd like some advice, please"

Don't forget Alice

SpaceX 'Dragon V2' rocket podule can hover-land on Earth - or MARS



... wow. Wow. Fucking wow.

Brunel. Stevenson. Bell. Wright (both of them). Musk.

Come to Oz for sun, surf, ratting on co-workers and surveillance


Greg Bear...

... to my mind demonstrates how to handle surveillance. Everything is collected and stored. Government agencies needing access to data have to apply to a citizen run oversight organisation for specific pieces of data.

Dutch doctors replace woman's skull with 3D-printed plastic copy


I want...

... my skull redone in sintered titanium. I will then make a bundle as the next Marvel super hero. I would need a snappy handle. Titanium Man? Too long... Tit Man?

What is the difference between a drone, a model and a light plane?


Re: Sea Fury

Prop is wrong. Nice, though.

BT tweaks WORDING of sex-ed web block after complaints


It's not abdication...

... it's usurping. The progressive mantra is that the masses cannot be trusted.

How Britain could have invented the iPhone: And how the Quangocracy cocked it up


No, Minister.

No, think outside the box. Tell the Sir Humphrey types that you're a lesbian clown with an interest in phases of the moon. Use the resultant shower of cash to fund your product.

Thinking, see?

BIG trouble in BIG China: Cisco shares fall off a cliff as CEO warns of slump


Possibly that ban on Chinese products wasn't clever..

Brit boffins trap light in Lego-like lumps


The only logical name for this effect...

... is the Chippendale Effect.

Osborne to China: Keep watching Downton and we'll gloss over Huawei security worries


Re: You have to admire the Chinese

Actually, they called him " criminal of a thousand years". The implication being that his role was to subvert the process of returning Hong Kong.

I never really understood the " running dog" translation. More like " tail following dog" actually... so, in modern parlance, " poodle". Not at all what they accused Mr Patten of.

Android adware that MUST NOT BE NAMED threatens MILLIONS


Re: Germany...

Dead is dead. And no, let's not except two world wars.



... over time, has more gun deaths than the US in total, not excepting the Civil War. Largely state owned, interestingly.

Apple's new iPhones dope-slap Samsung in US



... comment ever.

NSA data centre launch delayed as power surges 'melt metal, zap racks'


$100,000 worth of equipment...

... was destroyed. At government rates. Right.

Boris Johnson's ex-right-hand man's right hand lands johnson in web slip


I for one...

... don't want to see the pictures when it "blows over".

Fantastic article... haven't seen that much dodgy implicature in ages.

Boffin blends benevolent beer


VB isn't beer.

... it's technically cheese.

The perfect gift for the pistol-packing 'Merkin: a handgun iPhone case


Re: I can see the headlines now

You forgot "... and reloaded five times"

Throwing arms let humans rise above poo-flinging apes to play cricket


You need...

... the extra knuckles to get decent inswing on poo.

Huawei boss: Next CEO won't be member of my family


Dear Ray Bill ..

Mr. Ren would like his surname back. Yes,I know it's complicated... but do try to keep up.

Japan's naughty nurses scam free meals with mobile games


Re: I fell for a scam like this ...

I don't understand the icon.. .

Microsoft unveils even more tempting Kinect offering: Open source


Re: The noun is licenCe

Look it up. You're wrong.

Moscow's speed cameras 'knackered' by MYSTERY malware


Re: Plank in thine own eye?

You need to notify the dictionary people that they're wrong, Ted. They seem to think that the two spellings are legitimate variants for both noun and verb forms of the verb.

Or you could be talking out your arse.

Revealed: The Brit-built GRAVITY-powered light that costs $5


This shows...

... a limited understanding of the word 'poor'. With a cash income of 80 cents a week, this is better than a month's income in rural s areas of India.

Neat idea, but useless if you are on the grid, which is to say, fairly poor but able to afford incandescent light bulbs, and to expensive if you actually are poor.

New transistor tech could beat silicon and save Moore's Law


May I be the first to say....

... thank you, Jesus!

Australian Police say don't use Apple's iOS 6 Maps


Re: Could be interesting

What a wuss.Chuck a few slabs of tinnies in the back of the Holden and a real bloke is right as rain in the bush

'Build us a Death Star, President Obama' demand thousands


Re: Morons wasting time.

Give is arguably ditransitive. 'Give me it'sound s a bit rural, but it's defensible.

German city dumping OpenOffice for Microsoft


Re: What amazing modern MS Office facilities do they need?

Actually, there are some possible reasons. Support for MS formats is pretty bad. Formatting and embedded charts seldom work properly from .odt to .doc/.docx or vice versa. .ods spreadsheets lack quite a lot of the functionality of .xls. Sharing spreadsheets with MS users is fraught as the user programmed functions don't work.

I understand the issue is the secretive nature of MS file formats. I have standardized my own company on Open Office, and it works well for us. We keep a copy of MS Office handy though.

Apple kicked out of China smartphone top 5 by, er, Yulong and pals


There is a massive marketing oppo here....

The new Yulong 'Love ^ Time'.

What's not to like?

China's Goophone unveils US$99 Android iPad Mini clone


Re: Meaning?

Goo in Chinese... tonal language, so depending on how you say it...

drum, mushroom, ancient, guess

Numerous other possibilities, though none particularly rude.

Ubuntu 12.10: More to Um Bongo Linux than Amazon ads



... works rather well for me. If you need an unencumbered OS with a short learning curve for a fairly large group of users, it's fine.

If you don't like it, try Mint, another fine distro.

Microsoft releases JavaScript alternative



.... could possibly go wrong?

Euro bigwig turns heat on 'unacceptable' Apple warranties


Re: SOGA should be mandatory teaching in schools

You were doing fine until the last paragraph, when you admitted to fraud, which makes you just as big a tosser as the companies that don't live up to contacts of sale.

Basically, this is the wrong site for you. Most of us are in the biz as well as being consumers.

Global strategic maple syrup reserves hit in Canadian mega-heist


John Ringo...

.... is the obvious suspect here.

Shenzhen wage hike causes supply chain jitters



I am very dubious of the cousin in this article that salaries and benefits are largely clawed back by employers. I suppose it does happen in some cases. However, the Shenzhen job market is very much a buyers market. Any perceived trickery like that results in workers abandoning your plant for one down the road with better net salaries.

The' slave labour' meme makes for good stories, but it's dreadful journalism.

A more accurate story would conclude that factory workers in Shenzhen do pretty well, given the cost of living, though are starting to be squeezed a bit by inflation.

However, that story would hko against the

China Mobile to roll-out 16GB MEGA-cloud platform


Re: Hmmm, Let me think awhile

Well, yes.... But think.

All those financials that you need to keep, but would rather not bother the revenue with. I mean, either side of the pond it's effectively wide open to government level scrutiny... But what will happen if Her Majesty, or one of her loyal servants, wants a peek at a data store in the PRC?

Sure, the commies can see your data, and in some cases, that may be a problem. However, I see this being very popular with a certain crowd.

China could penetrate US with new huge missile


Re: Declaration of War!

Yes , kudos for an exemplary, if slightly (but convincingly) inarticulate, man in the street with pickup and guns point of view. Well played, sir.

Hong Kong tycoon sues Google search for defamation


A good idea, as...

... people who piss him off tend to have terrible accidents with baseball bats in public places.

Of course, it could be worse....

Nvidia rides the Kepler wave, proves bean counters wrong


Re: 2013??

Mr. Prickett-Morgan writes really thorough, informed articles. There are always a few grammatical clangers... Kind of his seal of authenticity.

Enjoy them for the content... Genuinely outstanding, sometimes.

US deploys robot submarine armada against Iranian mines


Re: Move along - nothing to see here

Nothing wrong with a landy, in the right place, and at the right time. The wrong time, obviously, is when a load of composition B goes off under your arse.

Build a bonkers hi-fi


Re: hold on

300k on a flash motor and a watch would get you laid a lot more reliably...

War On Standby: Do the figures actually stack up?


Re: @ misotonic - A bit low...

Log burners are much closer to carbon neutral than, say, mains powered heating.

Apple lobs pocket change to Proview, ending Chinese IPAD name row



... would have paid more for ownership of this.

'Zombie bullets' fly off US shelves after wave of undead attacks


Re: Welcome to canada

It's in .223, bolt action and a four round mag....

Climate scientists see 'tipping point' ahead


Intensification of agriculture...

... and a retreat from agricultural production on marginal land, greatly increased rates of urbanisation, massive building out of nuclear power, and population declines resulting from the transformation of societies that can be observed worldwide...

And the job is a good one.

You listening, Greenpeace?

Dinosaurs on a diet shed tonnes


Yes, but...

What is a suitable calibre for a charging 23 tonne dinosaur?

.60 nitro express suddenly seems inadequate.



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