* Posts by Jon Double Nice

286 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Jun 2007

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Sinclair ZX81: 30 years old

Jon Double Nice

Hey, hey, 16k!

What does that get you today?

Man found guilty of battery after ejaculating in co-worker's drink

Jon Double Nice

hahaha "manbattery"

top skills!

John le Carré archives to rest at Bodleian Library

Jon Double Nice
Go

"Cornish Barn"

new Reg SU unit please

Egyptian bloke dubs sprog 'Facebook'

Jon Double Nice
Coat

Do they have a ginger step-sibling

called MySpace?

Twitter cuts off two fat client apps

Jon Double Nice

"using the Twitter name in vain"

Haha, nice one Centurion.

Post-a-puppy woman hit with cruelty charges

Jon Double Nice

Reminds me of good old GTA3

http://www.rockstargames.com/grandtheftauto3/petsOvernight/

Mac App Store: Developer godsend or Evil Empire?

Jon Double Nice

+1 for BBEdit

it is teh awesomes

Sulky fans biggest threat to gaming, says Black Ops developer

Jon Double Nice

I think there should be a level

set on a train or something, completely ludicrous tight quarter combat with nowhere to hide.

Eric Schmidt 'eyes own TV show'

Jon Double Nice
Coat

I think a sitcom would be better

But kind of meta like Seinfeld, where he sort of plays himself

Matrix 4 and 5 in works, threatens Keanu

Jon Double Nice
Coat

The only way this can work

Is if they use Vic Reeves, rather than Keanu Reeves.

Massive US rocket sends top-secret cargo into space

Jon Double Nice
Coat

Stealth satelite idea:

I reckon, you make the satelite circular, and paint the bottom to look like the moon, then make it orbit the earth just below the moon, but close enough to earth that it just obscures the moon. People will just think they are looking at the moon and not worry about it.

I'll leave teh exact details up to NASA or whoever wants to implement it.

Volvo demos automobile auto-pilot tech

Jon Double Nice
Coat

I would've tried to use the acronym "CONGA"

because, you know, like the dance. Plus it'd be more fun for the front car to swerve about and make it like a party on the motorway.

Or you could call it "SNAKE" and make it like Snake on the old Nokias, where you get more points and go faster and faster the more cars you collect. And you have no brakes.

Windows 7 really was some girl's idea, rules ASA

Jon Double Nice

Microsoft is quoted as saying

"oh no, hang on a minute, it was Vista that was designed by a bunch of drunken rugby yahoos and one of their girlfriends - sorry about that!"

Apple Mac Mini with Snow Leopard Server

Jon Double Nice
Thumb Up

Its worth mentioning

that Server Admin, Workgroup Manager and a bunch of other apps in the suite can be installed on your desktop Mac and used to control instances of Snow Leopard Server from afar.

Start-up pitches low-cost no-glasses 3D for iPad

Jon Double Nice

It'd be good for games though I reckon.

Producing stereoscopic images in photoshop would be right pfaff, but some kind of depth rendering based on z-index (or its equivalent) shouldn't be too hard?

...

Step 3: Profit!

How I used Space Shuttle tech to insulate the living room

Jon Double Nice
Coat

'doesn't seem to taste of anything much'

so could it be used as some kind of high end Ryvita or something?

Most coders have sleep problems, need 'hygiene and care'

Jon Double Nice
Black Helicopters

Sleep is pretty dull anyway

I'd rather be playing COD BOps online, or drinking lovely gin, or doing my own code tinkering when I'm out of the office.

Black helicopter because... the numbers! what do they mean?

Foreign cyber spies target British defence official

Jon Double Nice

But Shirley

it would be tempting to leak them pretend or made up info, especially about the sharks with frikkin' lasers on their heads program?

US to fork $5bn+ into exascale supers

Jon Double Nice

Step 3:

Profit!

Highest point on the Moon found: Higher than Mount Everest

Jon Double Nice
Coat

If I'm not the first to state the obvious:

Of course it's higher than Everest, it's up on the moon, which is UP IN THE SKY people.

PARIS HAS LANDED!!! Epic supra-atmos flight ends

Jon Double Nice

Playmonaut in the 25th century

It's pretty obvious, the pilot got sucked through a space vortex or whatever and will return at some point in the future just like Buck Rogers or something.

WD thrusts forth its mighty 3TB internal hardness

Jon Double Nice
Coat

3TB?

What is that in wrists please? Or are wrists only used for bandwidth?

Fight cyberwar with cold war doctrines, says former DHS chief

Jon Double Nice
Coat

I for one look forward to

receiving the cyber war equivelant of "Protect and Survive":

"In the event of cyber war, download as much of the internet as you can onto 3.5" flopy discs and hide under the stairs."

Behind the Kindle, under the iPad: an unholy alliance

Jon Double Nice
Coat

Oh, how foolish of me...

... it's a Reeves and Mortimer product, yes, a Reeves and Mortimer product.

Tesla Motors: Our cars don't burst into flame, but our emails do

Jon Double Nice
Coat

If your client lacks flame mode...

...you can always use the little button just beneath tab on most keybords to MAKE YOUR EMAILS MORE SHOUTY.

WD Livewire four-port powerline Ethernet adaptor

Jon Double Nice
Badgers

Haha, that website is so awesome!

All its missing are some blink tags.

Olympus LS-5 linear PCM recorder

Jon Double Nice
Thumb Up

+1 for a group test

play with the shiny audio toys and tell us about them!

Flaws on ESPN Fantasy Football site make cheating a snap

Jon Double Nice
Coat

More of an AD&D chap eh?

Or Traveler, perhaps?

US college girls: Fatter roomie helps control 1st-year plumpening

Jon Double Nice
Thumb Up

Can we please add "Selleck Moustaches"

to the Reg SI units please?

Judge Dredd returns to the silver screen

Jon Double Nice

IM Global teases:

"I'tll be around three hours of CGI, pretty much all of it black, over 30,000 levels of black, with very little in the way of plot or acting. But you will be able to see lots of CGI cars flying about in the background"

They should use all the rendering time to do DR and Quinch in 3D.

Apple inks Ping trademark deal with golf gear maker

Jon Double Nice
Coat

What about...

'The machine that goes 'PING''. Or all those submarines driving about the place using sonar which, if we are to believe the films, emits an almighty 'PING'. How about Pingu, erm anyway.

If I'm right...

Vulture 1: Plane plans planned

Jon Double Nice
Coat

I see you're summoning the power

of the Tri-Force from the Zelda franchise there. Is this to be the next instalment on the DS? "Zelda: Another thing we never really mentioned in any of the games before (in this case, paper planes)"

Giant vulture menaces Scottish skies

Jon Double Nice
Coat

In theory...

if it kept on going up, it would end up on the moon. Have they tried looking there for it?

Ten unlikely iPhone insurance claims

Jon Double Nice

Is Jasper Carrot still alive?

You might be able to rent these facts to him.

'PatentGate' allegations denied by Apple

Jon Double Nice

Gentz says:

Woohoo! Do you know how much I would have had to pay to get his much advertising?

Oracle sues Google over Java in Android

Jon Double Nice

Hahaha

dude, I totally have the letter 'O' in my name, and they used it twice!

..

Step 3: Profit!

Treasury considers Coins replacement

Jon Double Nice
Coat

They should try NOTES

New Online Thingybob, Erm, System

GPL scores historic court compliance victory

Jon Double Nice

One big benefit

could be that it sets a precedent in case law? It might make it easier to make cases against other people/organisations that break the GPL rules.

Data for 100m Facebook accounts published to BitTorrent

Jon Double Nice
Coat

Facebook strictly forbids the scraping of its content

you missed out the '... bitch'

3D films fall flat

Jon Double Nice

The later Star Wars films

Episodes 2 & 3 (and probably 1 as well) are pretty much all cgi, I'd guess that they could take the modelled things and backgrounds and just render them into 3d.

Sure the people would remain 2 dimensional, but that's at least +1 dimension in terms of their portrayals of the various characters in the films.

UK's Watchkeeper drone 'can see footprints through cloud'

Jon Double Nice

I think it would be a lot better

if they painted a smiley face on the front of it.

The Register comment guidelines 2010

Jon Double Nice

Is it true that

the first commenter receives a pack of chocolate buttons as well?

Futurologist warns of malevolent dust menace

Jon Double Nice

Replace 'smart dust'

with 'underpant gnomes' and this makes a whole lot more sense to me.

Apple swaps good iPhones for bad, say fanbois

Jon Double Nice

At the press conference, they will...

...announce the iPhone 5, or 4Gs, or something, and it'll be upgrade mania all over again!

Personally I hope they try and pull off the 'invisible gorilla' trick, only using Steve Balmer jumping around the stage like he did that time.

I own Facebook, claims New York fuel salesman

Jon Double Nice

'Wood pellet fuel'

Wouldn't that just be 'wood'?

Consumer Reports: 'We were wrong about the iPhone 4'

Jon Double Nice

Put a ceramic coating on the arial?

In my experience people seem to like the word 'ceramic', it has a kind of space age carbon fiber style zing to it.

EU boffins aim to reinvent the hard disk

Jon Double Nice
Go

I think it would be better

if they were called MUFFIN and THERMOS

Russian spies dumped in Vienna after swap

Jon Double Nice

fete fatal?

Step right up to the tombola of doom!

Fanbois love sex toys: Official

Jon Double Nice

Linux users

buy inflatable beards, Shirley?

Zappa's widow loses trademark case over own name

Jon Double Nice
Headmaster

meh

Beefheart is miles better

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